8 Signs You're Ready For Dating After A Breakup & Tips To Try

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Dating after a breakup can be draining, especially when you have not completely moved on from the previous relationship. People often try mending their hearts by going for a rebound to distract themselves from the pain caused by the breakup and end up hurting themselves. Dating someone before completely letting go and healing from the bitterness of the past relationship will only make things complicated. So don’t jump into a relationship just because you are lonely. Take your time, check your emotional readiness, work on learning and accepting yourself, and wait for the right time and person to get back to dating again.

How Long Should You Wait To Date After A Breakup?

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The answer to this question is subjective, as each person processes the breakup differently. Starting over may also depend on many factors, such as the duration of the relationship, the kind of bond the couple shared, and so on.

After a breakup, your mind may feel clouded with mixed emotions as your self-confidence takes a hit. Learning how to forget someone you love and moving on takes time and effort. Some people begin rebuilding themselves in a few weeks while some brood over it for years.

If you have broken up with your partner, it is best to wait for at least a month before you start getting back out there. In this time, allow yourself to heal and work on your mental and physical health. While you’re in the process of recovering, try to understand what went wrong in the last relationship and resolve not to repeat the same mistake. Once you feel you have moved on and are ready with a fresh approach to relationships, get into the dating game.

Eight Important Signs You Are Ready For Dating After A Breakup

Before you come to a decision, try reflecting on some of the signs indicating you have moved on and are ready to start dating.

1. You feel happy in your company

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After a breakup, you are likely to be filled with self-doubt, which is a natural reaction after facing failure in a relationship. But if you want a relationship right after the last one just to feel loved again, then it will eventually disappoint you. Instead, try embracing changes and when you fall in love with yourself you will not depend on a relationship for your happiness, only then are you truly ready for a new relationship.

2. You feel excited to date again

A breakup can make you feel morose and averse to even the thought of dating. But when downloading a dating app appeals to you and you look forward to reconnecting and courting new people, it means you have moved on from your past and are ready to get back on the dating scene.

Point to consider

Don’t use dating apps or meet a potential date just to distract yourself from thinking about your ex. There is nothing wrong with taking time to heal.

3. You no longer think about your ex

Hoping for your ex to come back to you or wanting to make contact with them are clear signs you are still hung upon them. But if your ex hardly crosses your mind and you are successful in focusing on yourself, it means you have moved on and gained an understanding of past mistakes. Forgiving and finding closure from the past relationship is important, it can help you move past any doubts that you may have. And if you feel you have healed and are willing to put in time and energy into a new relationship, then you are ready to start dating again.

4. You have accepted your breakup and learned from it

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You have truly healed from a broken relationship when you acknowledge it is finally over and have learned from it. When you note mistakes made in your last relationship and are willing to work on them, it means you have grown as a person. You may now be in a better position to tackle similar situations and conflicts that may arise in your new relationship, and trusting again may be easier for you this time.

An anonymous blogger talks about dating again after her break-up in her blog. She recalls how heartbroken she was after her partner of 10 months broke up with her suddenly. However, she decided to pick herself up after a while. She says, “After I spent time mourning, I decided that fighting the inevitable was pointless. I still knew who I was. I still knew what was important to me and what I wanted, both in a mate and from a relationship. If anything, the breakup emphasized how important certain things about communication and relating to your partner were to me that had been a little off-center with us.

“So, to the surprise of family and friends who thought I was moving too quickly, I decided to re-activate my OkCupid account. To be completely honest, I first signed on to see if there was still hope—I was another year older, life had struck another blow, and I wasn’t even sure I would see anyone on there who would interest me enough to get to know (i).”

5. You find someone attractive

Do you find someone attractive? If yes, then that is a positive sign that you can start a new relationship. However, if you compare your new partner with your ex, you have not truly gotten over your ex. But if you treat this relationship as a whole new experience and are willing to give it your best shot, it means you are ready to date again.

The blogger further adds, “I was surprised to realize I still attracted not only older men but significantly younger men too, divorced men with kids and men my age who have never been married, corporate businessmen and world-traveling teachers. I also realized that there were still so many interesting men out there to learn about and potentially meet, though I wasn’t in a rush to do the latter.

Point to consider

Do you have butterflies in your stomach when someone flirts with you? If so, it could be a hint you are ready to mingle again.

6. You feel confident in yourself

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The biggest indicator of being ready for a new relationship is self-confidence. When you know your self-worth and are not willing to simply settle for what comes your way, it means you are confident in being you. Knowing what you want and what you can give to a relationship is also a sign of confidence and that you are ready to get into the dating game once again.

7. You feel empowered

Once you have broken the shackles of sorrow from a breakup, you feel empowered. The thought of living with a new-found zeal is a positive indicator of the direction of progress. Once you feel in full control of your emotions, you are ready to up the game. You can take on the challenges once again when you have moved on from the past and learned your lesson.

8. You have gained perspective

When you have made peace with the past and stopped self-pitying, you might have analyzed your condition from various perspectives. You have stopped blaming yourself or your partner and look forward to a better future. It means you are ready to move forward and welcome new people into your life.

Five Tips For Dating After A Breakup

Once you are sure that you are open to dating again after a breakup, keep the following tips in mind before getting into a new relationship.

1. Don’t make a haste

People may advise you that a new relationship will help you get over your old broken relationship. This idea may help for a while, but a rebound relationship is not considered an ideal way to get over a breakup. Instead, concentrate on finding yourself for a while. Continue growing as an individual, understand what you want from your life, and how a relationship can help you lead your best life.

2. Know what you want in a partner

No matter how your last relationship ended, the fact is that it wasn’t meant for you. That relationship must have taught you priceless life lessons. So, when you re-enter the dating world, remember to carry those lessons with you and be sure of what you want in a partner and what is non-negotiable. Do not compromise on things that can later create problems for you.

Quick tip

Write the positive and negative characteristics of your ex on a paper. After that, jot down your core values. You can then define the type of person you should look for.

3. Don’t mention your ex on your first date

If you like your date and wish to see them again, then refrain from talking about your ex on your first date. Your ex may have treated you badly, and you may want to bad-mouth them, which is fine to do with your friends but not on a date. Bad mouthing your ex or even mentioning them in passing will annoy your date and create a bad impression about you.

4. Have a realistic approach

When you start looking for a potential partner, be prepared to face disappointments because finding the right partner takes time. Do not expect to have potential partners come chasing after you because your date went well. If you are interested in them, then do not hesitate to be clear about it and even follow up when required.

5. Be yourself

Some scars from the past may tempt you to hide your real self from appearing more appealing to your potential partner. But if you want to find your best match, you have to be nothing but your true self or else you will end up with someone not suitable for you. Don’t fear rejection. Instead, hope to find the right person for yourself. You may also use this phase to take stock of yourself and know yourself better. You might have a few sessions with a therapist to talk it through and gain even further perspective.

Infographic: How To Know If You Need Some More Time Before Dating?

After a breakup, you may experience emotional distress and confusion, leading you to make hasty decisions. If you plan on starting a new relationship soon after your breakup, you may not be ready. Reading through this infographic can help you understand if you are ready for the dating scene.

Illustration: Momjunction Design Team

Illustration: Signs You&039re Ready For Dating After A Breakup & Tips To Try

Image: Dall·E/MomJunction Design Team

Watch this video to take the first step towards healing and how to open up to dating again after heartbreak. Get the tips to move forward and start a new journey.

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Sharon Gilchrest O’NeillEd.S., LMFT

Sharon Gilchrest O'Neill is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and family business consultant, who has earlier been a graduate instructor/advisor, an organizational learning consultant, and hospice volunteer. With around eight years of experience working in the private as well as corporate setting, Sharon helps her clients think creatively and build upon their strengths.

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