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While we know no mother needs to be taught how to be a good and devoted mother, we also acknowledge how difficult the task of raising a child is. It takes blood and sweat to raise a child to be a good and kind human being. It also requires you to be patient and put in a lot of effort and plenty of sacrifices to give your children an upbringing and a life you have dreamt for them. However, no matter how tiring and stressful parenting is, it is extremely beautiful and the most rewarding job on earth. Read this post as we share some tips on being proactive and the best version of yourself under the challenges that motherhood throws at you every day. You might be already doing them and if not, try to implement them to make your mothering journey easier and more fulfilling.
How To Be A Good Mother: 21 Ways
Have a look at the following tips on how to be a good mother. Remember, the aim is not to seek perfection but to find ways to strengthen the parent-child relationship.
1. Stop comparing yourself to other moms
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Your fellow moms may be doing an outstanding job taking care of their children and managing household chores, but it does not mean your efforts are lacking in any way. Every mother has her way of raising children, and you should not compare yourself with anyone else. Instead, be sympathetic to yourself and take pride in the fact that you are giving motherhood your best shot. You also have no idea what happens behind closed doors, so be tolerant and don’t compare your worst days to what people present on social media or what they present on their best days.
2. Take care of yourself
Women work hard to give their families the best of everything. In the process, they sometimes tend to ignore their physical and mental well-being. Do you often prioritize everything else over yourself that you end up getting sick and feeling disappointed? You should learn to give yourself time to look after your mental and physical well-being. Remember, a healthy and cared for mother means a healthy child.
3. Seek help whenever required
If you restrict yourself to your house to ensure you are always there for your child, you will eventually get tired and start feeling grumpy and irritated. Instead, take the help of the people around you. Look out for a good babysitter or ask your spouse to look after your baby so you can spend some “me time.”
4. Step out of the house
Whenever you get the opportunity, step out of the house to breathe in some fresh air. Soak up the sun and get a healthy dose of vitamin D. You could take your child for a regular stroll in the park and try to make new friends with other moms. If nothing else, having interaction with other adults can be meaningful and helpful. These little efforts will help lift your mood and place you in a better position to look after your children.
5. Do not aim for perfection
Do you work day in and out for your children but still feel you are not doing enough? Be kind and gentle with yourself and look at it from your child’s perspective. They are not concerned about how well you do things for them, but instead, they crave your loving and caring nature. Your warmth is what they need and will remember for years to come. You are a good mother because of all that you do for your children and not how you do it. After juggling mommy and personal duties, mother Gloria Lucas sometimes does feel overwhelmed with self-doubt. To overcome any doubt, she says, “Deep down I know that I try hard. I know my kids love me. I know that they’ll look back and have great memories. I know that I sacrifice a lot (probably too much). I’m a good mom because I’m a good mom. I’m a good mom because of all that I do. I’m a good mom because I love them fiercely. I’m a good mom because of my actions, not because of my doubts (i).”
6. Maintain a parallel self-focused life
A new mommy may need to be there for her child at all times in the initial weeks or months. However, if your children are old enough to be ok without you around them, try to connect with your friends. Remember that you have to be there for yourself too. You can indulge in a hobby or try a new one. Do anything that makes you happy. It is also okay to hire a babysitter in case you have to do something for yourself.
Quick tip7. Develop a sense of humor
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Once you become a mother, your life changes drastically. You will experience moments when everything may seem chaotic beyond control. In such times, being responsive and having a good sense of humor will help you look at things from a different perspective. Seeing the funny side of things can make situations less stressful and more manageable.
8. Be patient with your child
Dealing with children is not easy regardless of their age.
Their exploration of the world around them might cause you inconvenience, but you have to deal with them patiently. Screaming at them or meting out harsh punishments for kids can hamper their growth. Be selfless and compassionate and try to calmly make them see and understand the inappropriateness of their actions, so they do not repeat them. It’s hard, but it can be helpful to remember when they are melting down, they aren’t trying to give you a hard time, they are having a hard time managing their own emotions.
9. Make sweet memories for your child
Expensive toys or lavish birthday parties are not what makes your child happy. Children may not understand the significance of a heavy price tag, but they surely know how to enjoy a good moment and find happiness in the smallest of things. Be committed and focus on making sweet memories that your child will fondly remember for life.
10. Communicate with your child
Good communication is crucial for a healthy relationship with your children.
Have frequent and open talks with your children to make them comfortable enough to confide in you and deem you trustworthy and reliable. Your children should be able to speak to you about any topic.
11. Pay attention to all your children
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If you have more than one child, it is imperative that you give each of them undivided attention. Be flexible and allot time for each child, and during this allotted time, sit and talk to them. They may not be great at communicating their needs and feelings, but you could still ask them about their school and friends and other topics. Ensure you are aware of the things happening in their life.
12. Do not feel offended by your child’s bad behavior
If your child acts rude or talks back to you, do not feel offended by it. Instead, try to find out the reason behind their behavior. There is always some reason behind a child’s change in behavior. Talk to them and try to identify the underlying cause that is triggering their unruly behavior.
13. Be firm with discipline
Disciplining children from a young age is extremely crucial. You do not have to resort to punishments each time your child disobeys you – you can correct their behavior with love too. Try to explain to them the difference between good and bad. But when you have no option but to mete out consequences for their misdoings, do it according to the mistake they made. Do not mete out harsh punishment for a minor mistake to raise a disciplined child.
14. Be approachable
Children need a lot of guidance and support from their wise parents. But if they are afraid of speaking to you, they will feel lonely as they have to deal with their problems alone. Be the understanding and inspiring mother who children feel free to talk to. Let them feel that you have their back and will be protective of them from any harm.
15. Share your feelings with them
At times, life’s challenges will get the better of you and make you feel tired and frustrated. But do not take it out on your child. They may not understand what you may be going through, so explain to them in simple terms. Make them understand why you cannot give them the attention they crave at the moment.
16. Accept your child’s individuality
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Every child has their own unique personality. As a parent, you have to help with nurturing it. Instead of forcing them to fulfill your unrealized dreams, encouraging them to have dreams and goals of their own and guiding them toward those is the way to go.
17. Encourage their hobbies and skills
If your child shows interest in a certain hobby, skill, or art, encourage them to take it up. Even if they show interest in a field that may not be to your liking, supporting them and assuring them that you are proud of their efforts is your duty. And when they do a good job, do not forget to let them know how happy and proud you are of their achievements.
Quick tip18. Do not put undue pressure on them
As a mother, you may have certain dreams for your child. But do not be disheartened if your child’s dreams do not align with yours. Never put pressure on your child to do something they are not comfortable doing. Pushing them toward something they have no interest in can hamper their confidence and make them resentful towards you.
19. Tell them it is ok to fail
Children may not be able to take failure easily. And in such a situation, if you deride them for their lack of success, it can cause irreparable damage to their self-esteem. Instead, tell them their effort, and not the result, matters to you. Make them understand that failure is an integral part of life and doesn’t define a person.
20. Be respectful to your child
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Never make the mistake of mocking or belittling your child. It can damage their self-esteem. Instead, listen attentively to what they have to share with you. Treat them not just with love but also respect. This will help you lay the foundation of a healthy relationship.
21. Admit and apologize for your mistakes
When teaching your children the importance of admitting one’s mistake, lead by example. On making a mistake, admit it in front of them and also apologize for it–there is no age too young for this. This way, you can let them know that apologizing does not make anyone small.
Why Is Being A Good Mother Important?
The concept of a good mother is subjective and means different things to different people. It could be about making sacrifices, teaching right from wrong, or helping children become strong. Every mom has her way of raising her children, and that is fulfilling in itself. There is no one-size-fits-all. Some mothers show love by being super caring, while others focus on making their children independent and tough.
What matters is that a mother tries her best to understand and meet her kids’ needs in her special way. Being a good mom is all about the love shared and the care given, and every mom brings something special to her child’s life. It is not about following a strict rulebook but about making a unique and valuable contribution to her children’s lives.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. What are some of the hardest things about being a mom?
Some of the hardest things about being a mom are:
- Keeping track of several things
- More responsibilities
- Work overload
- Having to sacrifice interests to fulfill the needs of children
- Going through mom guilt occasionally
2. How can I be a calm mom?
To be a calm mom, you should:
- Find triggers and look for a solution.
- Create a routine that your family members can follow.
- Keep aside dedicated time for yourself.
- Laugh more and stay involved with your children.
- Don’t try to be perfect. Accept life is supposed to be imperfect.
- Choose to be graceful rather than angry.
3. How can I deal with guilt and other negative emotions when parenting?
First, identify the source of guilt. Then, evaluate your behavior and remind yourself that it is okay to feel guilty. If you feel you are not doing enough, tell yourself you are doing your best to give your child the most beautiful life. And if you think you are overdoing your maternal duties, find ways to change your behavior. Learn from your mistakes and try to improve yourself.
4. What are the benefits of being a good mother?
Being a good mother allows you to share a healthy bond with your child and makes them trust you. You can inculcate good values in your child and help them become a good individual. More importantly, your child will love and respect you and even become your biggest support. You, too, feel content and proud of yourself for raising a good human being.
5. How does a good mother shape her child’s future?
A good mother takes an active interest in her child’s daily activities to ensure they are on the right path. She supports them to work harder and achieve their goals. Also, she guides her children through the regular challenges they face while growing up. More importantly, children subconsciously emulate our actions. So, she becomes a role model by leading an exemplary life.
How to be a good mother is a common concern among new mothers. Raising a child is not an easy job. But, it is one of the most rewarding experiences. You may attend to your child’s needs and provide love and care to strengthen the parent-child bond. Never compare yourself to other mothers since each child has different temperaments and needs, and parenting should be focused on children’s requirements rather than following a common strategy. Giving time for yourself, getting help if needed, stepping out of home, and not aiming for perfection can make parenting less stressful.
Infographic: Tips To Be A Good Mother
Every new mother is constantly guided by elders or societal pressure to meet the expectations of being a perfect mum. Nevertheless, each woman might face a new set of motherhood challenges and will have to pave her path by herself. This infographic speaks about some essential tips that could assist in being a good mother.
Illustration: Momjunction Design Team
Key Pointers
- Do not compare yourself to other mommies as each child and mother are unique.
- Focus on yourself too for a happier self.
- Try and develop a sense of humor so you can smile amidst all the craziness of motherhood.
Illustration: Essential Tips To Be A Good Mother
Image: Stable Diffusion/MomJunction Design Team
Personal Experience: Source
MomJunction articles include first-hand experiences to provide you with better insights through real-life narratives. Here are the sources of personal accounts referenced in this article.
i. The fact you worry about being a good mom means you’re a good mom’ and other garbage sayings;
https://medium.com/the-motherload/the-fact-you-worry-about-being-a-good-mom-means-youre-a-good-mom-and-other-garbage-sayings-7aa90af82130
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