How To Flirt With Your Wife: 30 Tips To Spice Up The Marriage

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You are waiting for your wife near the door and are amazed by her beauty again. You feel like flirting with her but don’t know how. Even after many years of marriage, you may not know how to flirt with your wife. It’s important to be flirty and expressive throughout your married life to keep the relationship vibrant and youthful. It’s never too late to add some flavor to your marriage, and healthy and courteous flirting with your wife can do just that. This post contains some unique and out-of-the-box flirting ideas for charming your wife and keeping the flame of romance in your marriage burning. Scroll down.

Benefits Of Flirting With Your Wife

Knowing how to flirt with your wife can help you keep the spark alive, strengthen emotional intimacy, reinforce the bond you share, and ensure a fulfilling and enduring relationship.

1. Increased intimacy

Engaging in playful flirting often paves the way for increased physical intimacy. The gentle touches, lingering gazes, and teasing exchanges are precursors to a deeper, more intimate connection, contributing to the vitality of the sexual dimension within the relationship. In a study published in Communication Quarterly, married individuals revealed that “Flirting was motivated by a desire for sexual activity and the desire to create a private world with the spouse (1).”

2. Rekindling romance

Flirting acts as a potent tool for rekindling romance. It injects excitement and passion into a relationship that may have waned amid the demands of daily life. The above study found that flirting functions similarly to maintenance communication, which is key in strengthening and maintaining the bond between couples (1).

3. Stress reduction

Flirting can make things light and can act as a stress buster. It infuses a sense of playfulness and shared laughter, ultimately promoting a happier environment.

4. Longer-lasting relationship

Flirting contributes to a longer-lasting relationship. It keeps the spark, excitement, and novelty, preventing the relationship from succumbing to staleness or monotony. Flirting with your partner not only adds vibrancy to daily interactions but also strengthens the foundation of a lasting and fulfilling partnership.

How To Flirt With Your Wife

Flirting isn’t just for the early stages of a relationship, it’s something you should continue doing throughout your marriage. A sweet smile, a kind compliment, or a little teasing can go a long way in keeping the bond between you strong. Here are some easy ways to flirt with your wife and keep the romance flowing in your everyday life.

Everyday Flirting 

Flirting doesn’t have to be reserved for only special days. Simple gestures and sweet words can keep the spark alive, even when you’re just going about your day together.

1. Call her by flirty names

Do not call her by her first name in your day-to-day conversations. Use playful adjectives or cute nicknames to address her. A new nickname every day will keep her attention and make her smile every single time! Surprise your wife by calling her with a new nickname, such as ‘beautiful butterfly’ or ‘my love bug,’ to keep the conversation fun and show you’re still enchanted by her.

Point to consider

Look for a nickname that aligns with your wife’s personality. While doing so, consider how she would feel about that name.

2. Leave notes for her

Leave cute messages or romantic lines on sticky notes for her. You can even get more creative and design a treasure hunt for her using these notes, which will require both trust and patience. The hunt should end with a meaningful gift for her. A dress, a pair of earrings, a pretty necklace, or even a beautiful flower at the end of the romantic treasure hunt will charm her and make her feel like the queen of your world. For example, hide a note in her purse or lunch box with a sweet message like ‘You brighten my day!’ or ‘Can’t wait to see you tonight!’

3. Engage in playful teasing

Teasing each other a little can help maintain playfulness in a relationship. You can tease her about her habits, preferences, or likes in lighthearted interactions. However, keep the tone playful and don’t be mean or sarcastic. Also, be mindful of her feelings and mood and respect her boundaries. You can playfully tease her about her love for a particular food or drink. For instance, if she can’t resist chocolate, jokingly tell her, ‘You’d probably trade me for a lifetime supply of chocolate, wouldn’t you?’

4. Touch her often

Physical intimacy is the base of a long and steady relationship. Touch your wife often in a way she finds it comfortable and romantic. Give her a peck on the cheek or on her forehead to make her feel loved. Put your arms around her, cuddle, or give her a playful pat. All this will make her blush like a teenager in love and add some fun and playfulness to your relationship. When watching a movie together, hold her hand tightly or rest your head on her shoulder.

5. Surprise her with a romantic date

Certain date ideas never go out of style. Ask her out, just the way you asked her out the very first time. Take her out for a romantic candle-lit dinner, play footsies under the table, and keep steady eye contact to make her feel desired and loved. You could also slow dance in the living room, just like the first time you danced together. It’s these small, thoughtful gestures that will rekindle the romance and remind her of the special bond you share. By infusing your date night with creativity and a sense of adventure, you’ll be sure to create new memories that will last a lifetime.

6. Make edible word messages

Get up early on the weekend and surprise your wife with breakfast in bed to show your admiration. You can carve out words from pancakes and present them on a plate. It will set a romantic mood and start your wife’s day with a wonderful smile.

7. Plan a date night at home

See her expression when she comes home from a tiring day at work to a house decorated in fairy lights, with soft music playing in the background. This romantic gesture will sweep her off her feet. It will be one of the most memorable date nights. If you can’t go that elaborate, just have an extempore dance party in the kitchen. Play your favorite song and dance to the sweet tunes of music and let the magic of spontaneity and anticipation take over. Watch her expression as she comes home from a tiring day at work to a house decorated with fairy lights and soft music playing in the background.

8. Take her for long drives

Now, who doesn’t love long drives! Take her out on a long drive and play her favorite songs. Visit a place with a beautiful view, like a vista or a hilltop where you can see as far as the horizon. Hold her hand, soak in the view, and tell her how much you love her. The sense of exploration and admiration as you both enjoy the scenery and each other’s company will create a beautiful memory to cherish forever. Take her out on a long drive, play her favorite songs, and drive to a quiet hilltop to enjoy the view. Imagine holding her hand and whispering sweet words as you both look at the stars. It’s the kind of simple adventure that will create lasting memories.

Point to consider

You can visit those places you both used to go before marriage and reminisce. This will help reinforce your bond and union.

9. Appreciate her when doing chores

Chores don’t have to be boring when you’re doing them as a team. While she’s chopping vegetables or loading the dishwasher, tease her gently, saying, ‘You’re making this look way too easy—should I even try to help?’ Or, as you pass by in the kitchen, sneak a quick kiss on her forehead. For example, if she’s baking, you could say with a grin, ‘Do I smell cookies or just sweetness in the air?’ These playful moments make mundane tasks more enjoyable.

10. Watch TV or relax together

Relaxing together can be the best time to strengthen your bond. As you sit down to watch TV, wrap a blanket around both of you and lean closer, saying, ‘This is the best way to unwind—with you.’ Compliment her choice of show or movie, even if it’s not your usual pick. When watching a comedy, mimic a funny line from a character to make her laugh.

11. Buy some lingerie for her

This will surely surprise and intrigue your wife with a touch of novelty and seduction. Buy some sexy lingerie and arrange it on the bed just as she steps into the shower after a long day at work. As she walks in, she’ll be swept off her feet by your thoughtful gesture, and it’ll be a playful, intimate surprise that brings excitement to your relationship.

Flirting Discreetly In Public

Sometimes, the best flirting is the quiet kind, especially when you want to keep it between the two of you. Small, subtle touches or secret signals can make moments in public feel extra special, without anyone else noticing.

12. Check her out

At times, your eyes speak louder than words. As your wife walks in all dressed up, check her out in a way that she notices. When your eyes meet, wink, or give a naughty smile and tell her that she looks good. Try this at a party and let her know that she is the only woman worth your attention. This is a great way to show your affection and courtship towards your wife.

13. Hold her hand or waist while walking on the street or in the mall

Your wife is indeed your most precious possession. Flaunt the love of your life in public in a variety of ways. Walk hand-in-hand like teenagers. Holding hands will give you both a sense of companionship, trust, belonging, and warmth. You may gently rub her palms or squeeze her fingers to make her flash that million-dollar smile. For instance, when strolling down the mall, gently holding her hand and giving her a soft squeeze will make her feel cherished and loved. The connection in that small touch can brighten her entire day.

An anonymous blogger shares what he sometimes does to make the romantic walks with his wife even more magical. He says, “It was so hokey, but one day, as my wife and I were walking on the beach at Morro Bay, I stopped my wife and spontaneously started singing “Can’t Help Falling In Love” by Elvis. That is SO not my style of music (nor even my generation of music), but my wife LOVED it (i).”

14. Compliment her

Let your wife know why you think she’s special and express your appreciation for her with thoughtfulness, generosity, and kindness. Compliment her in public as well as in private. Make her feel she’s the most important person in your life by telling her what you adore and appreciate about her. A wife gauges her beauty through her husband’s eyes. Say words that will boost her self-confidence and help her fight those insecurities that might have crept in over the years of married life. It will rekindle the love and attraction between the two of you. Compliment her during your morning coffee—tell her how great she looks even without makeup or how proud you are of her accomplishments. These sincere compliments will deepen your connection and boost her confidence.

Do remember

Compliments that focus on the positive attributes of your wife’s character are more meaningful to her than those based on her appearance, clothes, or hair. These include telling her she’s kind, a great mother, or a talented person.

15. Go for social media PDA

Post some happy pictures of the two of you on social media with some cheesy captions. For instance, you could post a picture of the two of you on a romantic getaway with the caption, ‘Still the best part of my life.’ These public declarations of love will make her smile and know that she’s the most important person to you. She will be moved when she sees it and will fall in love with you all over again.

16. Planning a coffee date surprise

Plan to meet for a cup of coffee at a cafe. Let her reach there before you.  Ask for help from a friend or a child you know well and send her flowers, chocolates, letters, etc. She will be flattered and eagerly looking for you. Ask her to be yours once again and forever at that moment. It will make her feel very special.

17. Share secret signals

The thrill of secret communication can add excitement to any moment. Share a playful wink or knowing look across the room during a gathering to remind her she’s your focus. You may also create a lighthearted ‘code word’ for when you want to say ‘I love you’ without saying it outright, like referring to her as ‘sunshine’ in casual conversation.

18. Give quiet compliments

Nothing can beat a compliment meant just for her. Lean in close when no one’s listening and whisper, ‘You look incredible tonight.’ For example, if you notice someone admiring her from afar, quietly say, ‘Looks like I’m not the only one who thinks you’re stunning tonight.’ These subtle words will make her glow.

19. Crack inside jokes

Shared humor can make her feel special and strengthen your bond. Casually bring up a private joke during a conversation to catch her off guard and make her laugh. For example, if you have a funny nickname for something silly she does, use it in a sentence with a grin. It’s your way of saying, ‘This moment is ours alone.’

Flirting Over Phone (Long-Distance)

Flirting over the phone can keep you feeling close when you’re apart. It can bridge the distance and remind her you’re thinking of her.

20. Send her flirty texts

Text messages are the modern-day love letters. A flirty or sexy text can light up your wife’s pretty face amidst a busy day at work. You can also send her flirty memes and gifs instead of regular texts. Find an appropriate time when she will be able to read, appreciate, and respond to your messages.

Sending texts when not together is an effective and cute way to flirt with your wife and keep the excitement rolling, but when you are with her, put the phone away and focus on her. During a busy day, send her a flirty text like ‘I can’t stop thinking about last night’ or ‘Wish I was there to see that smile.’ It’ll give her a little spark of excitement and remind her that you’re thinking of her even when apart.

Point to consider

Catch your wife off guard with a flirty text when you both are at home or a party. It will let you witness her reaction in real-time and determine if texting is feasible for you to communicate as partners.

21. Call her randomly

Find some time and escape from the monotony of life. Call her from work and tell her she looked beautiful this morning or that she makes the best pancakes in the world. A simple “I love you,” “I miss you,” or ‘”Just wanted to hear your voice” would suffice too. Similarly, showing empathy towards your partner’s concerns and actively listening to their thoughts is crucial for maintaining a passionate and loving relationship. These small acts of attention can keep the flame of passion alive and help your love continue to blossom.

22. Show the techie love

Change the auto correct setting on your wife’s phone or laptop. Choose any common words like “Okay” or “The” and change the settings so that it would replace these words with “I love you” or “You look sexy.” It will baffle your wife and, at the same time, make her laugh and blush.

23. Have food sent to her workplace

Few things make a woman as happy as her favorite food. Surprise her by sending her a delicious treat to her workplace. Don’t forget to add that cute, special note saying, ‘Can’t wait to see you tonight!’ to give it a personal touch. This subtle understanding gesture will surely win you “brownie” points when she comes back from work. Remember flirting is a communication skill to show that you love and care about your better half.

24. Make voice calls

Start the call with something playful to set the mood, like, ‘Miss me yet?’ It immediately shows her you’re thinking about her. When she answers, compliment her in a detailed, sweet way: ‘I can actually hear that gorgeous smile in your voice.’ This small touch can make the conversation feel more intimate.

25. Have surprise video calls

Surprise her with an unexpected video call and greet her with a cheeky comment, like, ‘You look even better on camera. Are you sure this is live?’ Compliment her, even if she’s dressed casually: ‘You’re rocking that T-shirt like it’s couture.’ These small compliments can make her feel special, even through a screen.

Flirting After Arguments

Arguments don’t have to end in tension. Using humor, sweet touches, and playful compliments can help both of you move past the tension and reconnect in a fun, lighthearted way.

26. Be interested in her

One of the most important things about flirting with your wife is making it more about her and less about yourself as it allows you to maintain an amazing connection with her. Listen to her, talk to her, maintain eye contact, ask questions, smile, and let her talk without getting distracted or without interrupting her. Pay attention to what she says and does. It will make her feel loved and show her that you care. Ask her, ‘What was the best part of your day?’ or ‘Tell me something funny that happened at work.’ These show that you’re fully engaged and that her feelings matter to you.

27. Make lighthearted apologies

After a disagreement, lighten the mood with a playful text like, ‘Okay, you win. Can I trade my grumpiness for a kiss now?’ Or write a funny apology, such as, ‘I’m sorry, you’re always right…but I’m still the better dancer.’ It adds humor and shows you’re ready to move past the tension.

28. Enjoy some shared humor

Humor is a great way to break the ice. Try saying something like, ‘So, we agree that my apology deserves at least three points, right?’ Or bring up a funny memory to help you both laugh, like remembering a silly mistake you made together. It turns a tense moment into something you both can smile about.

29. Give a reassuring touch

Physical affection can be a great way to reconnect after a fight. Give her a gentle hug or hold her hand and say, ‘I don’t like when we fight. I’d rather be flirting with you.’ These small gestures show that you care about her feelings and are ready to reconnect.

30. Offer a small gesture of love

After the argument, offer her something small, like her favorite snack or a cup of coffee, and say, ‘I know I might’ve messed up, but I brought this because I know it’ll make you smile.’ A little act of kindness can help melt away the tension.

Flirting with your wife doesn’t have to be complicated. It’s the little, thoughtful gestures that show you care, and they help keep the connection strong. Keep it simple, have fun, and remember that even small actions can make a big difference in keeping the relationship lively and affectionate.

Infographic: Why Is Flirting Good For Your Marriage?

No matter how long you have been together, one should never leave flirting with their spouse. Indulging in innocent flirting can strengthen your relationship further. Our infographic highlights the less-known benefits of flirting with your wife.

Illustration: Momjunction Design Team

Illustration: Naughty But Cute Ways To Flirt With Wife

Image: Stable Diffusion/MomJunction Design Team

Discover the art of flirting with your wife in this engaging video. Explore tips and tricks to infuse excitement and fun into your relationship, keeping the spark alive and thriving.

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Dr. Maggie C. VaughanMT, PhD

Dr. Maggie C. Vaughan is an NYC-based marriage and family therapist with 15 years of clinical experience. In addition to her private practice, Dr. Vaughan acts as founder and executive director of Happy Apple®, a Midtown Manhattan psychotherapy center.

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Shikha is a writer-turned-editor at MomJunction, with over seven years of experience in the field of content. Having done a certification in Relationship Coaching, her core interest lies in writing articles that guide couples through their courtship to marriage and parenthood.

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Srija holds an MA in English Literature from the University of Calcutta and a PG Diploma in Editing and Publishing from Jadavpur University. Her interest in editing ranges across niches, including academics, human psychology, and child development.

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