Image: Midjourney/ MomJunction Design Team
Women enjoy being desired, and you may often keep yourself busy trying to figure out how to get him to chase you. One of the most obvious markers of desirability is getting a man to pursue you—you love to see him try everything to somehow engage with you. Men also get thrilled to hunt when they crave it. When they try to win you over, you appear to be a prized possession for them. However, once they’ve won you over, they may become complacent and cease putting in any effort.
Whether you’re in a relationship or want to start a new one, if you want the guy to fall head over heels in love with you, there are a few things you may try to entice and captivate him. Read this post for some helpful tips on how to make him chase you.
Key Pointers
- To keep a guy interested in you or make him long for you, play hard to get or try spending more time away from him with your friends and family.
- Be confident, focus on your goals and embrace yourself as guys get attracted to such traits.
- Flirt a bit and show your support to him to maintain a loving relationship.
Is It Important That A Man Chases After You?
Getting a guy to chase you means making him work a bit to win your affection. It can be useful to know if he is really into you or just fooling around. However, it is not imperative that a guy should chase you before you decide to give him a chance. If you can see a future with him, make it easier for him and accept the proposal. Nevertheless, getting a guy to chase you adds excitement and spark attraction. Moreover, when you don’t give in too easily, you’ll appear as a high-value woman to him. However, don’t go overboard, as playing too hard to get may push him away.
21 Ways To Make Him Chase You
The following are some ways to bewitch a man and make him find you irresistible enough to chase you. Remember to implement them with confidence.
1. Stop chasing him
Why it matters: Constantly being the first to reach out can create an imbalance.
Men like to chase women they find hard to get. So, if you have been texting him non-stop, do not do it. Let him text you first, and let him be the conversation starter. You can chat as much as you want with him, but first, let him take the initiative. Men often appreciate the challenge of pursuing someone who doesn’t make themselves too available. For example, if you’re spending time together, avoid taking charge of every little detail, like deciding where to go or what to eat. Let him take the lead in choosing activities or making decisions during your time together.
Image: Created with Dall·E
2. Work on yourself
Why it matters: Confidence and independence are attractive traits.
Focus on developing new skills, engaging in hobbies, and caring for yourself. These can boost your attractiveness and show your confidence and independence, which men find appealing. A good personality helps draw the attention of men who will find you captivating, classy, and worth chasing after.
According to Justine Mfulama, a relationship blogger, having good self-esteem is crucial for a successful relationship. ”Once I admitted to myself that I was afraid men would leave me because I wasn’t an Instagram model look-alike, I realized how my low self-esteem was the main reason why most of my past relationships didn’t work (i),” she says. For example, a man is more likely to admire a woman who talks about her passion for photography rather than someone who only discusses him.
3. Have a life of your own
Why it matters: Clinging to someone can feel overwhelming.
You will lose appeal in the eyes of your man if he learns that your life is an obsession with him and revolves around him, and you have no life of your own.
The simple solution to this is to remember how you lived before you met him. Have a social life, make friends, be there for your family, and pursue your career goals. Never sideline your priorities for a man. This will tantalize him and make him want to pursue you even more. For example, if you used to go for hikes before meeting him, continue doing so. This independence will make him appreciate your self-sufficiency.
4. Show limited interest
Why it matters: Genuine interest is engaging, but desperation can be off-putting.
You may be dying to receive a text from him, but never let him get a whiff of your desperation. Reply to his messages, but not immediately. Interest him by telling him stuff about yourself but not all of it. Let him work hard to gain your attention and arouse your interest. Let him know you are interested in him, but don’t let him see how crazy you are about him. For example, if he texts, ‘What are you up to?’ instead of responding immediately, wait a while and reply with something simple yet engaging, like, ‘Just relaxing with a good book. How about you?’
5. Don’t lose it when he pulls back
Why it matters: Everyone needs space occasionally.
He might pull back after showering you with lots of attention. He might also take longer to reply to your texts or not reply at all. He could be doing these to test you. Fearing he has lost interest, you might bug him for a reply. Don’t do it. Be patient, wait it out and fondle his mind and see how he comes back to you on his own. For example, if he stops texting for a day, resist the urge to bombard him with messages. Keep yourself busy and wait for him to initiate contact again.
6. Follow your passion
Why it matters: People are drawn to those with purpose.
Men like women who are passionate about something in life. Your determination to follow a passion makes you look attractive and will allure him to you. So, try to pursue something you are passionate about and get busy with it. If you already have a passion, let him know about it. For example, if you love painting, share your latest artwork with him. This shows that you have a fulfilling life outside of him.
7. Set a goal in life
Image: IStock
Why it matters: Ambition is inspiring.
When you do not have a goal in life, you tend to focus your energy on unnecessary things and stress over trivial matters. Instead, set a goal for yourself — it can be a career goal or health goal — and work relentlessly toward achieving it. This way, you can enthrall and entrap him as men like women who are focused, ambitious, and goal-oriented. It motivates them to work hard in life. For example, tell him, ‘I’m working on running my first 5k race!’ This inspires admiration and shows him you’re goal-oriented.
Research finds8. Love your unique self
Why it matters: Self-confidence is a foundation for healthy relationships.
If you want him to love you, you have to love yourself first. When in a relationship, some women tend to adjust and change themselves to please their men. Be yourself and love yourself. When you feel happy from within, it is easier to attract his attention and make him want to be with you. Your cheerful attitude can rub off on him too.
”I changed my mindset to believing in love again and, more importantly, believing that the right person for me was out there,” adds Mfulama, emphasizing the importance of being positive. For example, avoid pretending to like his hobbies to impress him. Instead, share your genuine interests with pride.
9. Make him miss you
Why it matters: Time apart strengthens appreciation.
If you are always at his beck and call, he will take you for granted. Remember, he has to chase you, and so you have to seem exclusive to him. Go off the radar sometimes and surprise him a few days after. If you live together, go out with your friends for a couple of days. Let him spend time without you to miss you and sense your value in his life. This will rouse the importance of you in his life and provoke him to continue chasing and courting you. For example, if you usually meet every day, skip a day and let him feel your absence. This space can make him appreciate your presence even more.
10. Don’t show over-interest
Why it matters: Balanced excitement keeps things engaging.
When he suggests an outing or a date, you are bound to feel excited. But do not show it. Of course, let him know that you are interested in it, but do not keep texting him or telling him how you cannot wait for the date. Focus on how to keep him interested which often involves a blend of genuine connection and playful intrigue. Your overeager attitude can ruin his excitement as he may feel you are too easy to please. For example, if he invites you on a date, respond with, ‘Sounds great, I’m looking forward to it,’ instead of overwhelming him with constant messages about your excitement.
11. Don’t depend on him
Why it matters: Dependence can feel unpleasant.
You may be madly in love with this guy, but the moment you let on that he is the reason behind your happiness, be sure that he will run in the other direction. A man would prefer being desired to being needed. Fascinate him with your love, but do not smother him with it. Let him know you can be happy both with and without him. For example, instead of saying, ‘I can’t imagine my life without you,’ say, ‘I love how much joy you add to my already happy life.’
12. Interact with other men
Image: Shutterstock
Why it matters: Healthy social lives are attractive.
Men can be very competitive in the game of love. When he sees you enjoying the company of other men, he senses competition and ups his game. Knowing that you have people vying for your attention, he will give his best to win your heart. Ensure he sees you talking casually with other men, but never try to make him jealous, as it can be a dealbreaker. For example, if he sees you chatting casually with a coworker, it might prompt him to try harder to impress you.
13. Hold back relationship benefits
Why it matters: Rushing intimacy can push someone away.
You may feel that caring for him or sleeping with him will make him realize how awesome you are. No, it does not happen that way. Instead, he will take you for granted and not value your company. If you are not officially dating this guy, never let him have the benefits of a real relationship. Give him a teaser if you want, but not the real deal. For example, if he hasn’t committed, don’t let him treat you like a girlfriend. This keeps your value high in his eyes.
Quick tip14. Keep an air of mystery about yourself
Why it matters: A little intrigue sparks curiosity.
When you tell a guy everything there is to know about you, and if he feels he has understood you, what would he chase you for? It is imperative that you keep an air of mystery about yourself. Don’t hide any vital information from him, but also don’t divulge everything about yourself to him. Keep him guessing, and you’ll keep him interested. For example, instead of detailing every aspect of your weekend plans, say, ‘I’ve got some fun plans. I’ll tell you about them later.’
15. Flirt with him
Why it matters: Lighthearted moments create fun connections.
To spice things up, you can try flirting with him. But do not go overboard as he will see your desperation. Just an occasional flirty reply to his question or a flirty suggestion followed by a sexy laugh should do the trick. Flirting can help make things interesting. Flirting can make things more interesting and can be a helpful strategy when you’re wondering how to get a guy to chase you. For example, respond to his compliment with, ‘Are you trying to win extra points today?’
16. Make him feel desirable
Image: IStock
Why it matters: Emotional support builds trust.
Compliment him or appreciate his efforts occasionally. If he is the one doing all the chasing and not getting anything in return, he might feel tired and give up the chase. Let him know when he looks nice or when he has done something well. Let him know that you notice him and are interested in him. For example, compliment him by saying, ‘I really admire how hard you work,’ or, ‘You look great today.’
17. Give him space
Why it matters: Everyone needs time to recharge.
Some men love to recoil into their shells and spend some time alone at times. If he refuses to see you because he wishes to watch a football match, do not pick a fight with him on it. Let him be, and let him spend some time away from you. When he sees you can be by yourself without troubling him, he will value your companionship and want you in his life (2). For example, let him enjoy a weekend with his friends without questioning him.
18. Seduce him
Why it matters: Subtle seduction keeps the spark alive and shows attentiveness to his preferences.
Wondering how to make him crazy about you? Try some subtle seduction tricks to make him go crazy for you. For instance, if he mentions that he likes you with your hair open, ensure you wear your hair loose the next time you meet him. Play with your hair lightly or flick it sexily. Try to look unaware of the effects it has on him. Do it naturally and casually. For example, wear his favorite color next time you meet.
19. Be his cheerleader
Why it matters: Supporting his goals and successes strengthens trust and deepens your bond.
Take an interest in the work he does even if you do not understand much about his field of work. Cheer him when he does well and support him when he needs it. When you fill his world with warmth and love, he will chase you because he knows he will never find another you. A study found that support can help build bonds as it is known to improve relationship satisfaction (3). For example, if he shares a work achievement, respond with, ‘That’s amazing! I’m so proud of you.’
20. Make some exciting memories with him
Why it matters: Shared moments strengthen bonds.
Go on an adventurous trip with him and have fun. When he enjoys your company and knows he can have fun with you, he will always want you to be in his life. He will chase you to the end of the world only to be able to feel happy and excited when spending time with you. For example, plan a fun outing, like hiking or visiting a museum. Shared adventures strengthen your bond.
Point to consider21. Complete him
Image: Shutterstock
Why it matters: A balanced partnership feels fulfilling.
When looking for a partner, some men prefer women who have qualities that they may seem lacking. So, if your man lacks confidence, and if you manage to show him how confident you are as a person, he will instantly want to be with you. He will chase you because he thinks you will complement him and complete him. For example, if he’s shy and you’re outgoing, let him see how your social skills can make his life more vibrant.
Nine Texts to Get Him Chasing You
Sometimes, a well-timed and well-framed message can spark his interest and make him want to chase you. If you’re wondering how to make a man chase you, the right words can create intrigue and attraction. Here are nine text ideas that will make him keep thinking about you and craving more:
- “I can’t stop thinking about last evening…”
This opens the door to reminiscing, making him think about your time together.
- “What’s your idea of the perfect weekend?”
A light question that opens the door for deeper conversation while showing interest in his preferences.
- “I wish you were here with me right now.”
A soft, casual way to express desire and make him think about being around you.
- “Can’t decide if I should wear this dress or the other… but I’ll send you a picture. Please give me your advice!”
A flirty way to involve him in your choices while making him feel special.
- “You have the best taste in music/movies, I need more recommendations”
This shows you appreciate his opinions and keeps the conversation flowing.
- “I bet you can’t guess what I’m up to…”
This sparks his curiosity and makes him eager to learn more about your day.
- “I could use your advice on something—do you have a moment?”
Requesting advice makes him feel appreciated and significant, while also creating an opportunity for further conversation.
- “You’re the kind of person who’s impossible to forget.”
A sweet, memorable compliment that’ll stay on his mind.
- “I’m wondering if you’d like a surprise I’ve been planning…”
This creates intrigue and keeps him wondering what you’re up to.
Pitfalls To Avoid While Making Him Chase You
When trying to start a romantic association, be careful not to make mistakes that could mess things up.
- Being overly distant can make you appear disinterested, causing him to lose interest altogether.
- Pretending to be someone you’re not may initially attract him, but it won’t sustain a healthy relationship.
- Relying solely on his attention for self-worth can create unhealthy dynamics in the relationship.
- Avoiding open dialogue about feelings or intentions can lead to misunderstandings and unnecessary tension.
- Pushing too hard may lead to discomfort and might push him away.
Remember, a balanced approach with honesty, space, and communication will help build a lasting connection. Keep things natural, and don’t be afraid to let your true self shine.
Giving him a teaser of a possible relationship and maintaining the mystery around you can make him chase you. Men often take a back seat once they have wooed their love interest. However, there are ways to keep the game up. Practice self-love to exude confidence and make yourself irresistible to him. Men prefer to be desirable and seldom want you to depend on them fully. Pursue your passion and spend time with friends and family to ensure a healthy distance. Support him when need be and flirt with him as well. Cherish each moment until he has done enough to win your heart.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. How can I make him chase me over text?
Striking a balance between showing no interest and too much interest can be a game-changer when you want a guy to chase you over text. So talk to him about your life but don’t share too many details. Instead, leave fragments of mystery that could intrigue him. Whenever he asks you out, act like you are too busy. Take time to respond to his texts but don’t overdo it. During general talks, ask him thoughtful questions pertaining to his life and flatter him with genuine compliments. Share funny messages and memes and radiate a positive vibe.
2. What makes a man chase a woman?
Every man is different, and so are the factors that make a man chase a woman. Yet, some attributes of a woman make her more desirable than others. So, it’s important to know what makes a man fall in love. Generally, men love chasing a woman who they feel is worth chasing. This may mean different to different men, but most find a good-looking and intelligent woman attractive. They also chase a woman who believes in herself and has a hint of mystique in her.
3. Is it wrong to make him chase me?
Making someone chase you in a romantic or personal relationship can be subjective and depends on the context and intentions involved. For example, if the intention behind making someone chase you is to play manipulative games through dominance or intentionally cause emotional distress, then it would be considered wrong. However, if you’re referring to creating a healthy level of pursuit or maintaining a sense of excitement in a relationship, it can be acceptable as long as it is based on mutual interest and respect.
4. What are some of the benefits of making him chase me?
When someone is pursuing you, it can create a sense of intrigue and mystery. This can heighten the other person’s interest and attraction towards you. Creating a chase can build anticipation and excitement in a potential relationship. When someone actively pursues you, it becomes easier to determine their level of interest. Their efforts and commitment can be an indication of their genuine desire to be with you.
5. How do I know if he is genuinely interested?
If he’s interested in you, he will be consistent with the communication, show care and affection, introduce you to his friends and family, make you his priority, and continue to do so even after being with you in a relationship.
6. What should I do if he stops chasing me?
If he stops chasing you, give him some space and communicate openly. You should also prioritize yourself, set boundaries, and, if required, move on, especially if he shows no interest in maintaining the relationship.
Infographic: What Not To Do While Trying To Make Him Chase You
Making a guy fall head over heels for you can be tricky. How do you know when you are overdoing it while getting his attention? What you may think to be a power move might blow up your chances and push him further away. So keep this infographic handy and take notes on what not to do while making him chase you. Illustration: Momjunction Design Team
6 proven tips and tricks to make him chase you!
Personal Experience: Source
MomJunction articles include first-hand experiences to provide you with better insights through real-life narratives. Here are the sources of personal accounts referenced in this article.
i. How To Attract Love Into Your Life;
https://www.justinemfulama.com/single/how-to-attract-love-into-your-life/
References
- Erol, Yasemin, and Orth; (2016); Self-esteem and the quality of romantic relationships.
https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2017-05125-004 - Johnson, Dallie.; (2022); Loving Your Partner Enough to Give Them Space.
https://scholarsarchive.byu.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1096&context=familyperspectives - Cramer, D.; (2004); Emotional Support, Conflict, Depression, and Relationship Satisfaction in a Romantic Partner.
https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.3200/JRLP.138.6.532-542
Community Experiences
Join the conversation and become a part of our nurturing community! Share your stories, experiences, and insights to connect with fellow parents.
Read full bio of Ellen J.W. Gigliotti
Read full bio of Ratika Pai
Read full bio of Akshay Nair
Read full bio of Srija Chanda Burman
