Image: Midjourney/ MomJunction Design Team
Someone got it right. Jealousy may not always be a negative emotion. Some consider that jealousy in a relationship breeds toxic emotions that leave all parties worse off. However, it is also true that jealousy (within boundaries) can act as a catalyst to drive your relationship. It can push your partner to try out new things and keep the spark alive. Besides, it could even be an element of a prank when done with good intentions.
If you want your beloved to know you have a fear of losing her or want to make her jealous so that she is always close to you, we’ve got you covered. Keep reading this post to learn a few ways to make your girlfriend jealous in a healthy way.
Key Pointers
- A little jealousy can make your girlfriend come closer to you.
- Ignoring her or praising other females in her presence might do the trick.
- But going overboard with these tricks also entails the risk of hampering your relationship.
24 Ways To Make Your Girlfriend Jealous
Here are some simple ways to make your girlfriend jealous. When trying them out, use sound judgment to make sure she doesn’t get too upset. For instance, trying to make your partner jealous through behaviors like overly complimenting or flirting with others can be harmful to the health of your relationship. When your girlfriend sees someone else give you more attention, she may lose interest in you. According to a study published in The Journal of Sex Research, “…individuals perceived their partners as less sexually desirable when their partners received unsolicited attention from someone else. (1).”
So, if you use the following tips, ensure you do not cross the line of respect.
1. Compliment other women
You can make anyone’s day by complimenting them. Your girlfriend would like it when you flatter her, but not when you praise other girls. One of the easiest ways to make her jealous is by talking about other women’s looks or behavior. Be subtle by complimenting another woman’s career, social life, or overall personality. For instance, you can look at an actress while watching a movie and compliment her smile.
However, remember not to make her feel like she is competing with other girls, or else, it will backfire on you. She may start feeling insecure and unappreciated and think she’s not good enough for you.
2. Talk to other women when you’re with her
We don’t mean you should start an hour-long conversation with another woman when you’re on a date with your girlfriend. Alienating her is not the way, but you could try a few nuanced ways to make your partner jealous. For instance, text or call a female friend. While doing so, overlook what your girlfriend is saying or doing and laugh at what your friend says, and you may find her making a poker face at you.
However, make sure you don’t do this often, or she may find it disrespectful and begin doubting your commitment to the relationship.
3. Try to work on your appearance
Maintaining a good appearance is a perfectly normal thing to do when you are on a date or vacation. However, if you are constantly working on your appearance, even when running small errands, it could make your girlfriend wonder why. For instance, you may begin to style your hair or put on cologne even when going to the nearest store. She may find this intriguing if you generally don’t put much effort into your looks, even on special days. Again, be careful not to overdo it or she may assume you are starting to lose interest in her and are looking for someone else.
4. Make it seem like she’s not your top priority
If you’re occasionally busy when your girlfriend calls you or have plans with friends when she wants to meet you, it’s perfectly normal. She won’t mind if she has her own social life. But if you prioritize hanging out with your friends more, all of a sudden, she may start feeling jealous. For instance, you may tell her that you have plans with your friends when she asks you to go out with her. However, this tactic can easily backfire on you if you do it too often.
5. Forget plans you’ve made
Vacations, outings, or even a simple dinner date—forgetting these plans is sure to make your girlfriend jealous. She might get angry too. To make this even more effective, you can show you remember other occasions such as a sports match or a movie release date but not the plans you made with her. It might make her think your allegiances lie somewhere else. However, it is important to exercise caution with this method, as it is likely to make your girlfriend feel you don’t want to put effort into your relationship, and she may stop making plans with you altogether.
6. Be overly polite to other women
Being a gentleman is all well and good until you go out of your way for another girl. Doing gentlemanly things, such as picking up and dropping off a female colleague or helping a female neighbor with daily chores, could make your girlfriend suspicious. If this is not generally who you are, you will find the shades of jealousy and possessiveness in your girlfriend.
7. Show your talents
It may sound counterintuitive, but it can play a significant role when it comes to jealousy. If you have a skill or quality that you don’t show often, flaunt them near other women or in social settings and make her jealous. It could be you being an excellent musician, a great chef, or even something as simple as having a great sense of humor. Regardless, if she’s worried that other women will notice these qualities in you, she may fear losing you and will be jealous. That said, if you’ve never shown off or tried to woo your girlfriend with your talents before, this tactic might backfire on you.
8. Be secretive for no reason
You don’t have to act like a CIA agent to make your girlfriend jealous. You can lock your phone, chuckle while texting, or pretend like you are hiding things from her. She would start to wonder what makes you act so secretive and get jealous. Remember to not be conniving while doing this, because she may interpret it as you hiding something serious, and it could lead to unnecessary conflict.
Quick tip9. Show her you are happy without her
Everyone needs some alone time occasionally. But if you show your girlfriend you are happy sans her, she’ll be jealous in no time. Express how enjoyable it is when you hang out with your friends, spend time with your family, or stay in the office for a long time with colleagues. She cares about you so she wants to be the person who makes you feel good, so it will make her jealous. However, ensure you do not create a pattern out of this behavior, because she will likely interpret it as disinterest.
10. Have a close female friend
Platonic relationships between men and women could exist anywhere. But if you have a close female friend who you can confide in and she’s your go-to person, it could be intimidating for your girlfriend and might make her a little jealous. However, you have to be cautious in this situation because things can become bitter if you are not able to maintain a balance. You can play pranks and make her jealous, but reveal it before it goes overboard.
11. Overlook or ignore her
No girl will like her boyfriend ignoring or overlooking her. To make her feel jealous, you can try rejecting her calls or ignoring her messages while constantly posting on social media. If she notices you actively posting on social media or you’re out with other friends, she will be jealous. Do it casually, and do not go to extreme levels that could cause her pain. Remember, you want her to be jealous, not hateful.
12. Be inconsistent in displaying your affection
You can change the dynamics between you and your girlfriend and make her ponder over it. For instance, be loving and doting one day and turn passive and indifferent the next day. On days when you aren’t giving her the attention and love, she may wonder what has changed and if she’s doing something wrong. If there is no readily available answer, she would be jealous, thinking your emotional needs are fulfilled by someone else. However, remember that this is a dangerous tactic if overdone. You may come across as blowing hot and cold, which is a manipulative and destructive behavior detrimental to a relationship (2).
13. Pay attention to others, not her
At a social event, laugh and compliment others’ stories, jokes, and experiences, and be more attentive to them. Try ignoring her all the while. It works better if you’re enjoying your girlfriend’s friend’s company. While it may initially look like you’re making an effort with them, she will eventually grow jealous of the attention they’re getting from you. However, overdo this, and your girlfriend will feel emotionally neglected and start pulling away from you.
14. Make it a point to show how self-sufficient you are
Whenever there is a prolonged separation, it is normal to show that you miss your partner or wish you were with them. If you want to make your girlfriend jealous, don’t do that. Let her be the one to call or text you first when you are away from each other. To make it more fun, you can even act nonchalant when she tells you she misses you or loves you by responding blandly, saying, ‘me too,’ ‘yeah,’ and ‘okay, sure.’ The key is to show disinterest and not be rude outright. If you do this too often, she may just think you don’t care about her, instead of being jealous.
15. Be close to an ex
Even in the healthiest of relationships, exes are a touchy subject. If you suddenly get close to your ex by meeting or calling her often, your girlfriend is likely to get jealous. If she’s convinced it’s platonic, you can increase the frequency of these visits/conversations to see how she reacts. Make sure you don’t cross any lines as the objective is to make your girlfriend feel jealous in a healthy way and not hurt her.
If you take it too far, your girlfriend will feel disrespected and assume you still have feelings for your ex, leading to a major trust issue. Romantic jealousy can be healthy if you share a close, intimate relationship with your partner. However, if you are not that close with your girlfriend yet, she may experience cognitive or suspicious jealousy, which paints you in a bad light (3).
16. Compare her with other women
Comparing partners with others is not welcomed in a relationship. However, you can do it playfully. For example, if she is late for something or forgets something, you can state your friend’s girlfriend is punctual. If she achieves something, you can playfully say someone else did it better. Such things can make her even more jealous as she won’t like it. On the flip side, if you constantly compare her with other women or your relationship with others’ relationships, even playfully, your girlfriend will feel unworthy and lose confidence in herself and the relationship. Studies have shown that such ‘relationship social comparison’ tendencies are “associated with low self-esteem, anxious attachment style, and relationship insecurity, which all tap some aspect of insecurity (4).”
17. Comment on women’s attractiveness
It’s perfectly natural to notice attractive people from the opposite sex even if you’re in a relationship, as long as you don’t act upon it. To make your girlfriend jealous, you can comment on how pretty someone looks. Asserting a few comments such as, ‘She looks good in that dress’ or ‘she’s gotten fit,’ can make her jealous. However, if you don’t balance it out by complimenting your girlfriend occasionally, too, she may feel unattractive and think you prefer someone else over her.
18. Get fit and brag about it
Regardless of your fitness level, if you manage to get noticeably fitter and post about it, people are bound to notice. It is prevalent in the age of social media. You can casually upload a vacation picture or post-workout picture to get a lot of attention from people. It can make your girlfriend jealous that other women find you attractive. However, show off excessively, and your girlfriend may feel she’s not good enough for you.
Quick tip19. Rave about your celebrity crush
We all have that one actor, model, or celebrity we are attracted to. That’s natural. You can talk about them in front of your girlfriend, as long as you don’t overdo it. You can pass innocuous comments about how they’re in such great shape or how the outfit or hairstyle suits them. While she can get jealous about this, it’s equally natural to be attracted to celebrities. Even so, don’t overdo it so as to make her feel disrespected and think you are fantasizing about someone else regularly.
20. Be touchy with other women, within acceptable limits
Platonic relationships do exist and are normal. But if you engage with a female friend physically often, it will trigger jealousy from your girlfriend. Even if your intention isn’t to flirt or make her jealous, gestures such as patting on the shoulder, hugging, playing with each other’s hair, or adjusting clothes or spectacles can seem intimate to a third party, especially your girlfriend. That said, if you overdo it, your girlfriend may perceive it as outright flirting and may want to break up with you.
21. Connect more deeply with friends
We often confide things to our friends that we don’t with our partners. It happens when you have a close or an old friend. Sharing your deepest secrets, fears, and ambitions with them need not manifest as competitive jealousy. But if you show her that your friend is more reliable and you trust your friend more, it can elicit jealousy, and maybe even rivalry with your friend. However, if you often show that you are more open to your friends than your girlfriend, she may emotionally check out of the relationship. Be subtle about it, as you would want your friends and partner to get along in the long run.
22. Don’t commit to a long-term relationship
Not rushing to commit is a perfectly normal thing to do and well within your rights. It’s okay to take time deciding on moving in together or getting married, as these are big steps to take in a relationship. However, if you are ready to take those big leaps and want to make your girlfriend jealous, you could avoid talking about it or change the subject when she brings it up. That said, do not take it too far, as she may assume you are not serious about the relationship.
23. Look for attention on social media
It is something most people do, and not necessarily to make their partners jealous. But in a relationship, it’s an unspoken rule that you shouldn’t flirt on social media. If you do it, your girlfriend will be jealous as she will see you seeking validation and compliments from obscure or even random people on the Internet.
Deliberately eliciting jealousy and succeeding is a tricky balancing act. If you cross the line, you may lose your girlfriend as she would like to be with someone who appreciates her. And if you make her feel too secure in the relationship, she might take it for granted, or your relationship could become boring. Finding the middle ground between the two requires sound judgment and moderation.
24. Avoid eye contact
A special kind of intimacy that gives your girlfriend security in the relationship is looking into her eyes while talking. But if you want to make her feel jealous, try your best not to make eye contact while you are with her. She might become curious. She may start to wonder why you are not looking at her when you are talking. It’s enough to make her envious that she might start to want to know more. However, when overdone, it can backfire on you because she may also think you are trying to hide something from her or are not interested in her.
Consequences Of Inducing Jealousy In A Relationship
Inducing excessive jealousy in a relationship can often lead to unintended negative consequences.
- It can erode trust, which is the foundation of any healthy relationship. If your partner feels she constantly has to fight her instincts to trust you, she will give up on the relationship.
- When you deliberately try to make your partner jealous, it can create insecurity and suspicion and make them question your sincerity and commitment. Over time, this can damage the emotional bond between you two.
- Inducing jealousy can lead to emotional distress, anxiety, frustration, and feelings of inadequacy. This emotional strain can create resentment and lead to communication breakdowns, potentially harming the relationship in ways that may be difficult to repair. Thus, it is crucial you do not cross the limits.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. Is it okay to make my girlfriend jealous?
If your intentions are not to hurt your girlfriend but only to tease her, then it is okay to make her feel jealous. However, do not go overboard. If you sense your girlfriend is too upset or worried about the relationship, it is better to reveal your plan.
2. How can I make my girlfriend jealous over text?
You may change your display image, tell her you are keeping busy, or talk about another girl constantly, so she gets annoyed. You could even send her a text or emojis and delete them before she sees it. Nonetheless, make sure you are not hurting her feelings.
3. How can I make her jealous on social media?
One of the best ways to make her jealous on social media is by posting an unusual status or a picture with an interesting caption. For example, you may post a scenic view and mention, ‘reminds me of someone.’ You could even try liking others’ pictures or commenting on girls’ posts.
4. What are the signs that my girlfriend is getting jealous?
Jealousy can manifest in various ways. She may become overly inquisitive about who you spend time with or seem more possessive or protective, wanting to be more involved in your activities or know your whereabouts. Mood swings, such as sudden irritation or coldness after you mention someone else, can also be a clear sign. Additionally, she might compare herself to others or subtly criticize people you interact with, especially if she feels insecure about them.
5. How can I tell if I’m crossing the line with jealousy tactics?
If you often find yourself using jealousy tactics to get attention or a reaction from your partner, it’s important to reflect on the impact it has on both of you. Does your partner express discomfort or distress or feel anxious about trust in the relationship, or do you notice your actions leading to more tension than intimacy? You may want to watch out for these. Additionally, if you feel the need to constantly cause jealousy to feel secure or validated, it could indicate underlying insecurities or communication issues.
Ideally, in a relationship, you want to keep your partner secure and feeling loved. But wanting to stoke the fire to reignite some sparks can be necessary, and making your partner jealous can help you achieve this. These well-crafted jealousy quotes in a relationship can offer some ideas on how to stir those emotions subtly and effectively. We hope these tips help you bring her closer to you. Remember not to go overboard.
Infographic: How To Know If The Tricks Are Working And When To Stop
You are applying these tricks to get her attention, but she won’t make it too obvious, even if she is getting affected. So how do you know that you have caught her attention or if you are overdoing it? Don’t worry; this infographic has all the signs you need to look out for to understand if your way is working and when you need to stop before ruining the relationship. Illustration: Momjunction Design Team
References
- Gurit E. Birnbaum et al.; (2024); When Your Partner is Being Flirted With: The Impact of Unsolicited Attention on Perceived Partner Desirability and Mate Retention Efforts.
https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00224499.2024.2391105#abstract - Hot and cold behaviours.
https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/articles/hot-and-cold-behaviours - Mark Attridge; (2023); Jealousy and Relationship Closeness Exploring the Good (Reactive) and Bad (Suspicious) Sides of Romantic Jealousy.
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/258187430_Jealousy_and_Relationship_Closeness_Exploring_the_Good_Reactive_and_Bad_Suspicious_Sides_of_Romantic_Jealousy - Lavonia Smith LeBeau et al.; (2008); Relationship social comparison tendencies insecurity and perceived relationship quality.
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/249719594_Relationship_social_comparison_tendencies_insecurity_and_perceived_relationship_quality - Von Restorff Effect.
https://changingminds.org/explanations/memory/von_restorff.htm
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