How To Take A Relationship Slow: 15 Useful Tips

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Steadiness is the key to understanding your true feelings and acceptance in knowing each other. Knowing how to take a relationship slow is important, else, you will end up losing the spark and falling apart. A new relationship ushers in joy and excitement. The newfound joys of budding romance offers encouragement for you to look for the future with excitement. Although these moments are crucial for a strong relationship, you must not move too fast.

Taking time can help you make adjustments, develop compatibility and spot any red flags. Author and blogger Crystal Jackson had an unpleasant experience taking things too fast in a relationship, and now she strongly suggests people take it slow. She says, “Love often leaves me feeling foolish — particularly when I’ve gone all in on relationships with partners who were keeping their cards close to their chests. I’m left with the bitter taste of being the last one to see what was probably obvious to everyone else and loving, once again, where I wasn’t cherished and chosen. I don’t think I should stop loving so fiercely, but I have become an advocate for slowing down relationships. It’s not just an attempt to ward off that foolish feeling, either. There’s wisdom in going slowly when it comes to love. We don’t see someone’s true nature in those first few months of a relationship. We see them at their best — when love or infatuation helps them to shine brightly…This is why it’s so important to slow down. It takes time to truly get to know someone — not just their best days but their bad ones, too. Give it a little more time. This will also help them see you better, too, so when you choose each other, you know it’s for who you truly are and not just who you are at your best and brightest (i).”

So keep reading as we discuss why it’s important to keep it slow in a new relationship.

15 Ways To Take A Relationship Slow

Taking a relationship slow involves making conscious efforts to pace your emotional and physical attachment to your partner during the early stages. When you take things slow, you can take time to truly understand each other without the pressure of social appearances or commitment and build a strong foundation for your relationship. Read on to learn a few effective ways to take a relationship slow and steady while keeping the fun alive.

1. Be upfront from the beginning

Partners need to be on the same page for a smooth and loving relationship. If they have different perceptions and expectations, the relationship could fail. An honest discussion and patient listening from the get-go helps build trust. So, sit down and talk to your partner with honesty if you want to go slow.

Be upfront about your feelings for them, and let them know why you wish to take it slow. Be clear about your expectations and give them the time and space to think. You two can then move ahead mutually.

2. Avoid discussing the future

When your relationship has just begun, and you are sharing beautiful moments, it is natural to start thinking about the future. While it is great to plan for the future, thinking about it in the early stages may put undue pressure on the budding relationship.

So, once you two have decided to take things slow, live in the moment. Take each day as it comes, and enjoy the appreciation in your time spent together. You will get ample time to discuss serious matters as the relationship progresses.

3. Keep your emotions in check 

It is easy to lose yourself in the magic of a new relationship. You tend to fall hard at the speed of light if you do not think about the consequences. It could be detrimental if you want to know each other well and take the relationship slow. You might end up getting hurt if you get involved too much, too fast. So, keep your emotions in check. Try to think practically and clearly before blindly rushing and deciding anything.

Quick tip

Be honest with your partner and talk about how you feel about themselves and your relationship. This will give direction to your connection and help resolve issues promptly.

4. Refrain from labels

Our society expects us to define and name every relationship. Social norms mold us to believe that we should state ourselves as a couple when we start dating.

While it is necessary to label your relationship eventually, you don’t have to do that too early. In the beginning, having fun and being happy is important, and not the labels. So, quit worrying and allow your relationship to bloom naturally.

5. Keep it casual and light 

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Getting too involved early on and professing your love and care might alarm your partner if they don’t feel the same way yet. Also, it could be infatuation and not love. Allow yourself enough time to distinguish the difference, by keeping the relationship light and casual in the beginning.

The slower pace can give you the opportunity to understand your feelings without any pressure. So, don’t jump into confessing your emotions and loyalty right away; instead, enjoy spending time together.

6. Wait before you get physically intimate 

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Maintain open communication about physical intimacy and respect each other’s boundaries. Ideally, if you are taking things slow, it is best to wait for a while in patience before getting physically intimate.

Getting hot and heavy early on can cloud your vision and prevent you from thinking objectively. So, spend some time together and get to know each other well before getting intimate. The comfort and trust between you two would slowly build your dedication, turning your relationship more beautiful and memorable.

7. Pace out your time together 

If you like each other and want to know more about each other, spending more time together makes complete sense. However, if you wish to take the relationship slow, it’s best not to meet every day. Plan your week such that you spend the weekends or any day or two with them and then give them some space for other things on the other days so that they don’t compromise on their lifestyle. It will help you maintain a sense of excitement and anticipation. If they insist on regular meet-ups, give them justified reasons about your other commitment and suggest another time.

8. Experiment different stuff together

The honeymoon phase of the relationship is a beautiful time. You are still in the process of exploring each other’s personalities and choices. Apart from dinner dates, try out playing sports, visiting new places, or planning a picnic.

Trying out different things when together will give you a chance in trusting each other in different scenarios and help you understand the relationship’s long-term potential. Constant surprises will also keep the element of mystery, cooperation, and novelty in the relationship alive. Go ahead, be unpredictable, offer flexibility as you explore new activities, new places, new cuisines together with openness to make the most of your time.

9. Make sure your world doesn’t revolve around them

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It is natural to give time and attention to a new relationship, but make time for your friends, family, career, and interests as well. The person you like can be an essential part of your life but do not make your life revolve only around them. Figuring out the right balance is the key. Invest time in making your life better, too.

Point to consider

If you’ve been seeing someone for over a year and you aren’t a significant part of their life, you need to have a conversation about your expectations and find out if you both want the same things.

10. Avoid fixating on the person 

Being in a new relationship gives you a heady feeling. The attraction for each other is apparent, and the desire to be a part of each other’s lives is strong. Sometimes, the infatuation can turn into an obsession. Before you know it, you may be stalking their social media pages, incessantly calling/texting them, giving them late-night calls, and constantly thinking about them.

The fixation might negatively impact your life and scare your partner away. So, pull the plug on unhealthy behavior and let the emotions flow naturally as a teamwork.

11. Be mindful of your relationship’s direction 

It is good to take a relationship slowly, but you should also keep in mind where and how you want it to go. Do you want a casual partner who shares similar interests, or are you looking for a long-term relationship that culminates into marriage? Before you fully commit to the relationship, assess your emotional state and figure out what you want.

Being mindful of your emotional state can help you understand when or if you are ready to take the next step with your partner. This self-awareness is essential to ensure you are both on the same page.

12. Wait before introducing them to your family

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When you are not 100% sure of your relationship, wait for a while before introducing your partner to your loved ones. In the early stages, you are in the process of getting acquainted, and having more people involved in the equation might put extra strain on the budding relationship. It might even scare your partner. Such a big step is too premature since it is too early to tell how the relationship will progress with time. So, enjoy your time together and leave the introductions for another time.

13. Refrain from becoming too controlling and possessive

When you wish to take the relationship slowly, you might not be meeting your partner every day. In such a situation, there is a possibility of feeling insecure. It may lead to possessive and controlling behavior. Such behavior could be harmful for any relationship.

In a healthy relationship, it is essential to support and respect each other’s boundaries. Every partner needs breathing space and time to do other things. If you try to control your partner’s life and interfere in every aspect, it might suffocate them.

14. Avoid revealing everything about yourself too soon 

Revealing everything about your life at the beginning of a new relationship could be counterproductive when you are trying to take things slow. It would even take the mystery and anticipation out from your bond. Sharing crucial information about your personal life might also make you vulnerable in front of your partner too soon.

So, do not put all your cards on the table as soon as you enter the relationship. Instead, give yourself enough time to determine if your partner is trustworthy and has your best interest at heart before divulging too much personal information.

15. Wait before you move in 

During the honeymoon phase of the relationship, your feelings are so intense that you wish to be together 24/7. You might even get the idea of moving in. However, before you go ahead with this, take a step back and think.

Moving in together is a big step in any relationship. It involves a lot of adjustments and could be complicated too. It is important to spend quality time together and understand each other with empathy before making such a choice. Otherwise, there is a chance you might get too involved, and it would be painful if the relationship doesn’t work out.

Reasons To Slow Down In A Relationship

You may consider going slow in a relationship for several reasons, but the following are often the notable ones.

1. You will get to reveal your authentic selves

Going slowly with your bonding will allow you to show your true selves. This increases your chances of encountering genuine and vulnerable moments with your partner and forming a deep emotional connection. For instance, they may discover what movies make you cry, or you may learn what experiences delight your partner.

2. You can test your compatibility

Exciting dates are a must, and fun but mundane activities reveal compatibility. Going slow with the pace of your relationship allows you to do ordinary activities together, such as shopping or even filing taxes. These moments will help test your compatibility on crucial matters and help you understand each other’s values and lifestyles, enabling you two to know whether a long-term relationship will work out.

3. It will lead to long-term happiness

Slowing down in your relationship and experiencing moments at their own pace can let you focus on the quality of each moment you spend together. It will also help you better understand each other and prevent miscommunications and misunderstandings to a large extent. Mutual happiness and synchrony will be the foundation of your relationship, making it lasting and satisfying.

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Infographic: Why Do Some Couples Want To Take It Slow?

You may have heard your friends in a relationship talking about how they haven’t kissed or thought about starting a family even though they have been together for some time. So what is it that makes them want to take it slow? If you are contemplating the same idea, this infographic will help you understand why some couples want a slow-paced relationship.

Illustration: Momjunction Design Team

Illustration: How To Take A Relationship Slow: 15 Useful Tips

Image: Dall·E/MomJunction Design Team

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Andrea Riley CTHF, CLC, CMS

Andrea Riley is a TV talk show host, blogger, podcaster, author, certified life coach, certified trauma healing facilitator, licensed relationship instructor, certified biblical counselor, licensed minister, and keynote speaker.

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Shikha ThakurMBA

Shikha is a writer-turned-editor at MomJunction, with over seven years of experience in the field of content. Having done a certification in Relationship Coaching, her core interest lies in writing articles that guide couples through their courtship to marriage and parenthood.

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Akshay is an associate editor and former journalist with more than four years of experience. A post graduate in Mass Communication and Journalism, he has strong professional and academic background in the field of content writing and editing.

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