15+ Right Ways To Tell Your Parents That You Have A Boyfriend

Teen-girl-nervously-telling-her-parents-about-her-boyfriend

Image: Midjourney/ MomJunction Design Team

If you have been in a relationship full of romance and are thinking of ways to introduce your boyfriend to your overprotective parents, we’ve got you covered. In this post, we tell you how to tell your strict parents you have a boyfriend.

The big reveal may raise certain eyebrows, and your parents may even object to it. However, there comes the point when you have to do it to maintain your peace of mind. This article aims to address the common fears and concerns teens face when navigating these conversations. So, read on as we list down several ways to help you tell your parents about your relationship.

In This Article

Key Pointers

  • Tell your parents about your boyfriend by dropping subtle hints.
  • Invite him to your home as a casual friend and introduce him to your parents.
  • If talking about your relationship is uncomfortable, write a letter to your parents or text them the details.

Why It’s Important To Tell Your Parents You Have A Boyfriend?

Choose the right approach to tell your parents you have a boyfriend.

Image: IStock

It may not be easy to tell your parents about your boyfriend, especially if you are a teen and in a new relationship. They are bound to feel concerned for you and may even disapprove of your relationship. It is natural to feel nervous about your parent’s reaction but do not let it discourage you from telling your parents about your relationship because eventually, they will find out. And if they find out through someone else, they will feel that you did not tell them about your boyfriend because you are hiding something. Hence, do not let fear of their reaction deter you from sharing it with them.

How Long Should You Wait To Tell Your Parents?

Tell only when you are sure about him

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There is no specific time period that you need to wait before telling your parents about your boyfriend. It depends on your relationship with your parents and how serious you are with your boyfriend.

But for pointers, you have to be sure that you are serious about your boyfriend. Tell your parents about him only once you have spent a decent amount of time with him and are sure that you want your folks to know about him.

Before approaching your parents, try to understand their values and concerns. Your parents have your best interest at heart, and knowing their views can help you address their worries more effectively. If your parents are strict, you might want to wait a few months before divulging your relationship status to them. But if your parents are cool about dating, then a few weeks into a relationship should be enough to inform your parents about this new development in your life.

15+ Ways To Tell Your Parents You Have A Boyfriend

Knowing the right way and time to share the news about your boyfriend with your parents can make this nerve-racking process simple and even pleasant. Go into it with confidence and courage and be open to vulnerability, expecting support and gentleness from your parents. Let’s have a look at how you can do it.

1. Start dropping hints

Prepare your parents for the big revelation by telling them about a “friend” who you enjoy spending time with. When going out, inform them that you will be hanging out with friends, including this new “friend” of yours. Your parents will slowly start to wonder what’s cooking between you and this new “friend”. So when you finally showcase honesty and tell them about your relationship, they will not be too surprised.

2. Let them know your intention to date

No matter how old you grow, you will always be a child for your parents. So, you need to show them that you are now old enough and have the maturity to make decisions and that you intend to start dating like an adult. Do not tell them you want to do it because it’s “cool” but because you feel you are old enough and prepared to be in a relationship.

3. Ask them to join you at your boyfriend’s game

If your boyfriend is a talented artist or an athlete or holds a dominant position in some public space, it is a good idea to take your parents to see him perform.

Ask them casually to accompany you. When your boyfriend is done performing, you can ask your parents what they think about him. To add to it, you can tell them how amazing and full of integrity he is.

4. Invite him over when your parents are around

Invite him over when your parents are around

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You can invite your boyfriend over to your house for combined studies or have him help you out with something. Introduce him as a friend who is helping you out with something. Ensure that you even behave like classmates or colleagues and do not show any romantic gestures between you. Introduce him to your parents, so that they will like him eventually.

protip_icon Quick tip
If you are nervous about their reaction, you can invite your boyfriend over. Allow your parents to see your boyfriend and judge him fairly.

5. Propose the idea to see their reaction

It is always good to test the water before breaking the actual news. So, if your parents know your boyfriend as a friend of yours, then one day casually bring up the idea of dating him. See how they react. If they are okay with it, then reveal that you are seeing him already. If not, listen to their reasons for rejecting the idea and look for other ways to work through it.

6. Determine whom to inform first

Talking to both parents can be intimidating. So why not try talking to one parent first, the one you can trust more to showcase sensitivity and empathy? If one parent is more friendly and understanding than the other, you can talk to them first. Tell them all about your boyfriend, and if possible, ask them to speak to your other parent as well or at least ask them for guidance on how to break the news to your other parent.

7. Sit down with them

When you finally decide you want to tell your parents about your boyfriend, look for an appropriate time when they are relaxed and free to listen to you. Avoid times of stress or distraction to ensure a calm and open conversation.

Emulate values of patience and plan with tact and rehearse in advance what you want to tell them. Imagine their likely reaction and be prepared to answer their questions. Be considerate that they may initially disapprove of this relationship and that you can ask that they think it through further and talk with you again with frankness. This will only further the parent-child relationship that you share.

8. Write to them

One of the best ways to respect your parents while talking to them about a difficult topic is writing to them

. If talking about your boyfriend to your parents makes you nervous, then try writing a letter to them. Write everything you want to tell them about your boyfriend, the kind of relationship you share with him, and what he means to you. Pour your heart out to them and be sincere in your effort. When they see how serious you are about your boyfriend, they might accept him without much opposition.

9. Text them

If you live away from your family and do not see your parents too often, you can try texting them about your relationship. It may be seen as an informal way to break the news. So ensure that your text is detailed and shows respect to the familial bond you share. Take your time to type out a nice text that will best explain your decision to your parents.

10. Be honest with them

Whenever you decide to tell your parents about your boyfriend, be completely honest with them about it. They will ask you everything about your relationship, which can annoy you as you might feel they are too nosy. But be calm and answer all their questions confidently, so they see how serious you are about the relationship.

11. Emphasize his good attributes

What you tell your parents about your boyfriend is how they will perceive him. So show justification to him and tell them all that is good about him. For instance, he may not be financially as sound as your family but if he is a straight-A student, then mention that to your parents. You have to create a good image of him in their mind for them to approve of him.

protip_icon Quick tip
If you feel you might falter while praising your boyfriend, you can take the help of a friend. Allow your friend to tell your parents how this ‘new guy friend’ is a good person and narrate what all is good about him.

12. Invite your parents home

Invite your parents home

Image: IStock

If you are living with your boyfriend, then one way to tell your parents about him is by inviting them to your home. Cook them a good meal and show a sense of openness about your relationship. Allow them to see how well you have been living together and that you make a compatible pair.

13. Have his parents meet your parents

If your boyfriend’s parents already know and approve of your relationship, then you can ask them to meet your parents and have a word with them. They will be able to understand your parent’s perspective and make them see your side too. Do this only if you are much older and have been in a serious, committed relationship for years.

14. Do not argue with them

If you are in your twenties, chances are your parents may not approve of your boyfriend and may even oppose the idea. In order to convince them, you have to be confident in your relationship. You have to be sure that your boyfriend is a good guy. Tell your parents all the experiences you had that prove his credibility. When they dismiss your relationship, do not argue with them. Be calm and try some other time again.

15. Have a realistic approach

Have a realistic approach

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Just because you presented the news to your parents smoothly and answered all their questions satisfactorily, it does not mean they will accept your boyfriend right away. Give them some time to get to know your boyfriend. You can formally introduce him to them and have them meet each other a couple of times and see if they like him.

16. Show appreciation for your parents

Showing appreciation and gratitude for all they have done for you before telling your parents about having a boyfriend can help your parents understand and respect your choice. By expressing gratitude, you acknowledge your parents’ role in your life. This can help ease any concerns they might have about your relationship. Appreciation shows that you value their guidance and opinion and choosing your partner comes from a place of openness and trust. It creates a positive atmosphere to discuss the matter, helping your parents to understand and accept your relationship. Overall, showing appreciation helps strengthen the parent-child bond during this important conversation.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. Is it okay to hide a relationship from your parents?

If you wish to keep your relationship private until you are sure, you may choose to do so. The same goes with parents; if you fear being judged or your parents reacting unreasonably, you may hide it from them until you feel the time is right or you feel comfortable about the situation.

2. What should I do if I get caught with my boyfriend?

The best course of action is to accept it. If you fear they will judge you or not be okay with it, you may choose to cover up, saying he is a casual friend. However, if you are devoted and in a committed relationship, you may tell your parents about it.

3. Am I prepared to accept my parent’s decision if they do not support my relationship?

It is often a complex and personal decision to accept or reject your parent’s disapproval of your relationship with your boyfriend. Try to communicate openly and honestly with all the parties involved to find a balance between personal happiness and familial relationships. Also, it is advisable to seek guidance from relationship experts, family members, and trusted friends to provide advice on how to go ahead with the circumstances.

4. How should I introduce my boyfriend to my parents in a non-threatening way?

You can plan and inform your parents in advance so they have time to prepare mentally. Good and healthy communication is the key to getting them to know each other. Respect your parent’s concerns and encourage your boyfriend to be sincere while meeting your parents. Also, keep in mind to consider your family’s values and preferences when planning the introduction.

Also, it is important to be calm, composed, and mentally prepared to understand the parent’s reaction to this announcement. Fanta, a blogger from the US, reveals how she was mentally prepared upon announcing to her strict parents that she had a boyfriend. She says, “My heart was broken but I was prepared, I was prepared for that reaction. But I just knew it was something that I had to say because I saw this man being in my future, like for the rest of my life (i).”

5. Why should I tell my strict parents about my boyfriend?

There are many possible reasons for you to tell your strict parents about your boyfriend. Some of them include your honesty and open communication with your parents seeking their approval. It can also reflect your desire to seek guidance from their wisdom and can help in building trust with your parents.

Knowing how to tell your strict parents you have a boyfriend can make things easier when you make this decision. You may choose ideas depending on your relationship with your parents and their attitude regarding having a boyfriend. Choose the right time to have this conversation, and lay out your explanation and expectations from your relationship to your parents. You have to be prepared for the worst-case scenario if your parents are strict and generally frown upon having a boyfriend. Consider seeking advice from a trusted adult or counselor who can guide you on approaching the conversation if you are expecting a negative reaction from your parents. However, although they may be strict, avoid hiding your relationship from your parents, which could hurt them later.

Infographic: Disclosing That You Have A Boyfriend To Your Parents

Disclosing that you have a boyfriend to your parents can be exciting and worrisome. However, if you have already given them the news, then it’s time they meet him. If you haven’t, then it may be a good idea to have them meet him directly. This infographic discusses various ways to introduce your boyfriend to your parents.

how to introduce your boyfriend to your parents (infographic)

Illustration: Momjunction Design Team

Do you feel hesitant to tell your parents that you’re dating someone? Discover effective strategies for approaching this sensitive topic from this video!

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Sharon Gilchrest O'Neill is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and family business consultant, who has earlier been a graduate instructor/advisor, an organizational learning consultant, and hospice volunteer. With around eight years of experience working in the private as well as corporate setting, Sharon helps her clients think creatively and build upon their strengths.

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Ratika holds a master's degree in commerce and a post-graduate diploma in communication and journalism from Mumbai University. She has 6 years of experience writing in various fields, such as finance, education, and lifestyle.

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Siddharth Kesiraju
Siddharth KesirajuMA, Certification in Relationship Coaching
Siddharth holds a certification in Relationship Coaching and a masters degree in communication and journalism from the University of Hyderabad. He has around seven years of experience in various fields of writing and editing.

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Srija holds an MA in English Literature from the University of Calcutta and a PG Diploma in Editing and Publishing from Jadavpur University. Her interest in editing ranges across niches, including academics, human psychology, and child development.

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