200+ Questions To Ask Your Partner To Engage With Them

Curious Questions To Ask Your Partner

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Thanks to our hectic lives, we are barely left with any time to spend with our partners. If you are looking for some intimate questions to ask your partner and spend quality time together but cannot figure out how, this post has got you covered. As we are preoccupied with work or engrossed in our phones or laptops, conversations take second place, and we may not be up to date on our partners’ lives. The only way to alter this is through communication and asking some simple inquiries like “Hey, what’s up?” And, don’t worry if you want to learn more about your spouse, their day, what’s been going on in their lives, or a little about their past.

Here is a comprehensive list of questions covering everything you might want to ask your spouse. These questions can foster deeper connections, spark laughter, and enhance communication between you and your partner.

In This Article

Key Pointers

  • Intimate questions can be perfect for getting close to your partner and catching up on everything about them.
  • These questions can help you understand each other better and build your trust.
  • You can include everything from their likes and dislikes to their views on certain topics, such as career, family, and relationships.
  • You can even use these questions to know their impression of you and their preferences related to intimacy.
  • Make sure to pick questions that aim to improve your relationship and not make your partner uncomfortable.

Intimate Questions To Ask Your Partner

couple talking about intimate questions for your partner

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Conversations open a window to your partner’s heart, helping you understand them better and build trust. Below are a few questions you could ask your partner. These talks serve as great conversation starters for couples and allow you to know your significant other on a deeper, more personal level. Personalize them to suit your partner and relationship. Set aside some quiet time for both of you and be a good listener when you ask something. Show vulnerability and honesty to each other while answering these questions.

  1. When was the first time you knew that I was the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with?
  2. What was your first impression of me?
  3. What is the best part of our marriage?
  4. What is that one dream you want me to help you achieve?
  5. What is the most memorable moment of our courtship days?
  6. Which body part of mine is your favorite?
  7. What kind of kiss appeals to you?

Physical connection with your partner connects you profoundly and helps keep your relationship alive. Delilah Loeppky, a mother and YouTuber from Canada, shares how incorporating a small display of physical affection like a kiss positively changes her relationship with her husband. She says, “I actually haven’t told Jack that I am doing this, but it’s been so interesting to see the result (i).”

  1. What turns you on?
  2. What would you like me to do to make our marriage more interesting and exciting?
  3. What is a shared dream or goal you would like us to work toward?
  4. What is a good quality that you wish I could notice in myself?
  5. What are some subtle romantic hints I miss despite you repeating them?
  6. In what ways do you think we complement each other as a couple?
  7. What question have you always wanted to ask me but haven’t yet?
  8. How can I help you be a better partner and/or parent?
  9. What can I do to make you feel respected?
  10. What is the most cherished thing of our dating years?

Women usually prefer their guys to be romantic, and these intimate questions can reveal a lot about your partner’s personality. Ahmad, a married man and a blogger from the US, reveals that his wife is a sentimentalist. He says, “That’s why she’s more, she would prefer an experience over an item (ii).”

  1. How can I show you that I appreciate, respect, and listen to you?
  2. How do you like to express my love for you?
  3. How frequently would you like to go out on a date with me?
  4. How can I meet your physical and emotional needs and desires?
  5. How would you like to spruce up our marriage?
  6. What is your definition of intimacy outside of physical connection?
  7. How would you like to resolve conflicts between us?
  8. What is the most vulnerable emotion you have ever felt around me?
  9. Which small gesture of mine makes your day?
  10. How do you feel about discussing your sexual fantasies and boundaries with me?
  11. When you’re upset, what can I do to help you feel better?
  12. What are the different ways in which I can express my love for you?
  13. Is there something you don’t like in me or that irritates you?
  14. Do you think you have changed since we got married? If yes, how?
  15. What can I do to support and encourage you?
  16. What do you like about our kids?
  17. Based on our relationship, what advice would you give people who are dating?
  18. Are you happy with the time we spend together?
  19. What is your most recent favorite memory of us being together?
  20. What is the one thing you would never change about our relationship?
  21. Do you ever feel insecure about our relationship? If yes, why and how do you cope with it?
  22. How could I be a better wife?
  23. Is there a hobby we could take up together?
  24. Is there any instance when it was hard for you to open-up to me?
  25. How do you perceive our role in each other’s families and friend circles?
  26. What is an intimate family tradition or ritual you would like us to create together?
  27. Is there any instance where you felt I hadn’t respected your decision?
  1. Is there any secret that you have been hiding from me?
  2. Did you make any significant sacrifice for a loved one?
  3. What is the most cherished piece of relationship advice you have received?
  4. If you could relive a single day of your life, which would it be? Why?
  5. What is a conversation you have been avoiding but know you need to have?
  6. When was the last time you gossiped to your friends about me?
  7. Do you have any questions for me?
  8. What can I do to make you feel loved?
  9. What can break your trust in me?
  10. What makes you happy and sad?
  11. What is the one thing you always wish you could change about yourself?
  12. How would you suggest we balance our social life and personal time better?
  13. How shall we create a safe space for open communication?
  14. What is your favorite way to reconnect when we’ve been apart for a while?

These are pretty substantial questions and deal with everyday life. Now, let’s take a look at some questions that may have deeper implications associated with affection, feelings, and emotions.

Deep Questions To Ask Your Partner

dinner time intimate questions for your partner

Image: IStock

Asking questions that would affect a significant achievement or path in your partner’s life would help you set relationship goals. It would give you an idea about the near future and what you both could do together.

  1. What is your career goal for the next five years?
protip_icon Point to consider
Asking the right questions can lead to exciting and meaningful conversations. It will also help you understand your partner better and strengthen your bond.
  1. What overwhelms you at work?
  2. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
  3. Would you want our kids to stay with us or move out after their marriage?
  4. How would you like to spend your days after we age?
  5. Who inspires you to be a better person?
  6. What is a positive childhood lesson that helps you even today?
  7. How do you feel about discussing finances or long-term goals as a couple?
  8. What is your way of coping with stress and difficult emotions?
  9. What is the biggest lesson you have learned from a past relationship?
  10. What advice would you give your younger self if you ever met?
  11. How do you view the idea of growing old together?
  12. What is that one thing you value in our relationship?
  13. What teaching or quality of your parents’ do you appreciate?
  14. How can I help you be confident about our relationship?
  15. Do you have any painful memories from your childhood?
  16. What is your greatest fear?
  17. What are you the most grateful for?
  18. Is there anything you regret?
  19. How do you see us supporting each other’s career or personal growth?
  20. Do you have a dream or goal that you haven’t shared with anyone yet?
  21. What is the most courageous thing you have ever done?
  22. What is a fear or uncertainty you have about our future together?
  23. What was your ambition as a child?
  24. What is your most embarrassing moment?
  1. Is there something that nobody knows about you?
  2. If you could fix one of the biggest problems in the world, what would that problem be?

These questions may help you mold things so that the future looks better. But, do these questions help you know your partner well? Read the next section to understand and know your partner even better., and about the compatibility and beliefs you share.

How Well Do You Know Your Partner Questions

drinking while asking intimate questions for your partner

Image: IStock

Simple questions pave the way to knowing your partner inside-out. Below, we have a few simple questions you could ask them.

  1. What is your favorite restaurant and why?
  2. What’s the best surprise you’ve ever received?
  3. What’s your favorite genre in movies and what is your favorite movie?
  4. What is something that you have always wanted to do as a child but couldn’t do?
  5. What’s a song that you know all the lyrics to but wouldn’t sing?
  6. If you could be invisible for a day, what would you do?
  7. What is the one movie that you could quote from frame to frame?
  8. If you were stranded on an island, which three items would you be unable to live without?
  9. What is the cheesiest pickup line you have ever heard or used?
  10. If you wanted to have a collection, what would it be of?
  11. Which musical instrument did you want to learn and master?
  12. If you could go back in time and change something, what would it be?
  13. If you had the chance to ask your future self one question, what would it be?
  14. What’s a moment that made you question your fundamental beliefs?
  15. What is an act of kindness you will never forget?
  16. What is the weirdest food you love to eat for breakfast?
  17. Have you ever saved anyone’s life?
  18. Have you overcome any of your phobias? If yes, how?
  19. Would you like to be famous? Why and how?
  20. When and where do you want to retire?
  21. If you could build your own perfect house, how would it look?
  22. Have you ever felt jealous of someone? If yes, who and why?
  23. If given the chance to take a world trip, which places would you cover?
  24. What is one expensive yet useless thing you have ever bought?
  25. If you wrote a novel on our love story, what would you title it as?
  26. What are the top ten things on your bucket list?
  1. What is your idea of a perfect date?
  2. What is that one bad and difficult habit you want to break?
  3. What is the most selfless thing you have ever done for someone?
  4. What is a value or principle you have held onto despite challenges?
  5. What was your favorite cartoon character as a child?
  6. What is a pet peeve that you have that others think is weird?
  7. What was the weirdest nickname you had, and how did you get it?

No matter how much you delve, there’s something to be curious about. So, express your curiosity and get your questions answered.

Curious Questions To Ask Your Partner

talking about intimate questions for your partner

Image: IStock

Curiosity kills the cat! So, don’t let your curiosity be with you. Let it out and ask these questions to relieve yourself. But remember, do not push too much in case your partner does not wish to answer something. This will show your commitment and passion to learn about every aspect of your partner’s life. Take it up at a later time.

  1. Name a few books you really enjoyed
  2. Are there any books you would like to read?
  3. If you had a superpower for one day what would you want to do?
  4. If you had a choice to invite anyone in the world as your guest, who would it be?
  5. Name three weird habits we have in common as partners.
  6. What is the weirdest conspiracy theory you have heard of and low-key think might be true?
  7. What book, movie, or song do you feel closely represents our relationship?
  8. If you could make up a new holiday, what would it celebrate?
  9. If you could time travel, which era would you go to just for fashion and culture?
  10. What would you have if you could own a Pokemon for a pet?
  11. What would be your weapon of choice if you had to survive a zombie apocalypse?
  12. If you had to choose between traveling back in time or into the future, which would you pick and why?
  13. What is the most embarrassing autocorrect fail you have ever had?
  14. Is there a friend whom you had secretly crushed upon?
  15. If you had to watch a single movie repeatedly for a whole week, which would it be?
  16. Who would you like to be if you ever got a role as a Disney character?
  17. What’s your favorite place that we should go to together, and why?
  18. What is that one thing you don’t want to share with me?
  19. Who is your favorite relative?
  20. Who are you more close to – your mom or dad?
  21. Were you ever pulled over by a cop?
  22. If you could organize a ball, what would be the theme?
  23. What is a romantic fantasy you would like to share with me?
  24. If our relationship was a movie, what genre would it be?
  25. What is the most bizarre thing you have seen someone do in public?
  26. If you could have any celebrity narrate your life, who would it be?
  27. If you could converse with any historical figure, who would it be, and what would you ask?
  28. What is your go-to activity when you are feeling adventurous?
  29. What would you want to know if a crystal ball could tell you anything about your life?
  30. If I were your friend and not your partner, how would you describe your partner to me?

Now, let’s lighten the mood and move on to funny questions to ask about yourself, your partner, your past experiences, and your fantasies.

Funny Questions To Ask Your Partner

embarrassing intimate questions for your partner

Image: IStock

Set the ball rolling and be ready to laugh out loud as you ask your hubby these funny questions!

  1. Which car could you drive for the rest of your life?
  2. What would you give up? Coffee or carbs?
  3. Who was your first celebrity crush?
  4. What is the most embarrassing moment your parents caught you in?
  5. What is a punishable classroom moment you have been caught in?
  6. What is the weirdest drink you have had?
  7. Do an impression of me that makes you crack up every time you see it.
  8. What is the one impulsive decision you made that you immediately regretted?
  9. What was the dumbest thing you ever did?
  10. How many selfies do you take during the day?
  11. Have you been kissed by the same sex?
  12. If you won one million dollars, what would you do with that money?
  13. What is the strangest thing you ever ate and felt horrible about?
  14. What’s the wildest thing you have ever done?
  15. What is the craziest scientific invention you have ever imagined?
  16. What is the weirdest fashion trend you have ever tried to pull off?
  17. What is your favorite inside joke?
  18. What is the craziest thing you’ve ever done while drunk?
  19. What is the most embarrassing moment you witnessed between your parents?
  20. What is your favorite dad joke?
  21. Which is harder to give up – coffee or alcohol?
  22. If you had to eat at KFC for one week straight, what would you eat there?
  23. If you knew you wouldn’t get caught, would you become a thief?
  24. If today were your last day, what do you want as your last meal?
  25. If you are stranded on an island, what three things and which three people would you get along?
  26. What is the ugly scar you have and how did you get?
  27. If puking pastilles were real and you were given a chance to eat one and skip work, would you do it?
  28. What is the craziest gymming fantasy you have ever had?
  29. What is your favorite thing to do on a rainy day?
  30. If you were a standup comic, what would be your catchphrase?
  31. How many pizza slices can you eat in one sitting?
  32. If you had the power to bring a fictional character to life, who would it be?
  33. If you can get back in time, which year would you visit?
  34. If you could kill any character from a television soap, which character would it be?
  35. If you could dedicate a meme to yourself, what would it be?
  36. What is the craziest dare you have ever done?
  37. What is your least appreciated quality?
  38. What is your idea of a perfect picnic?
  39. What is the craziest dream you have ever had?
  40. Would you strip for a hundred dollars?
  41. Did you ever chase anyone in a car? If yes, why?
  42. If you could go on a cross-country road trip with a famous person, dead or alive, who would it be?
  43. What is your go-to dance move when no one’s watching?
  44. If you were a dessert, what dessert would you be and why?
  45. What is the silliest fear you have that you know is irrational?
  46. What is the one prank you always pulled on people and had a laugh every time?
  47. Were you ever so scared that you wet your pants?
  48. If you had the power to choose your age, what age would you choose and why?
  49. Would you like to live beyond a hundred years? If yes, why?
  50. If you could be a star for a day, who would you choose to be?
  51. What is the weirdest thing you googled about in the last one week?
  52. What is the funniest dream you have had?
  53. What is the weirdest food combination you secretly enjoy?
  54. If you could swap lives with an animal for a day, which animal would you choose?
  55. What is the funniest name you could ever give our children?
  56. What’s the weirdest way you’ve managed to injure yourself while doing something mundane?

Frequently Asked Questions

1. How do I initiate a conversation with my partner and discuss intimate topics?

It’s important to be respectful and sensitive when approaching and initiating intimate topics with your partner. You could start by sharing about yourself and then express your desire to know your partner to deepen your relationship. It’s also important to make sure your partner is comfortable with the conversation and is taking an interest.

2 What red flags should I look out for when asking intimate questions to my partner?

Your partner’s discomfort or unwillingness to engage in the conversation may show their lack of trust in you or the relationship. However, it is possible that your partner is not ready yet to discuss such deep matters, so you should give them some time and respect your partner’s boundaries. Learning the appropriate things to talk about with your boyfriend or girlfriend can keep the conversation light yet meaningful.

3. How can I make my partner feel comfortable when asking intimate questions?

When discussing such intimate questions, the comfort of the partners is essential. Therefore, initiate such conversations in a private space and in a relaxed environment and start by sharing your experiences and preferences before asking them about theirs. Also, observe their reactions to see if they are being dismissive or taking interest and continue the conversation accordingly.

4. What are the benefits of asking intimate questions to my partner in a long-term relationship?

It can help you learn more about them and deepen your relationship and the emotional connection you share. Also, it can help you establish trust, communicate effectively, understand each other’s needs and interests, build intimacy, and enhance overall relationship satisfaction.

Unlike the common opinion, questions about intimacy are not just about bedroom closeness. These questions also dwell on serious aspects like career goals and sometimes even childhood issues, fears, insecurities, spirituality, and sexuality. We have listed a few of such serious questions to pose to your partner in this post. The above-mentioned intimate questions to ask your partner could help deepen the connection between the two of you. The questions subtly break the emotional barriers and bring the partners together, with an added feeling of appreciation for the other. Although we have listed many questions, feel free to add or remove any of them based on your partner’s comfort level.

Infographic: Questions To Ask Your Partner To Get To Know Them Better

While closely watching your partner over time would undoubtedly help you get to know them better, you can also ask them some insightful and enjoyable questions to better understand them. Check out the infographic below to learn some interesting and entertaining questions to ask your partner to get to know them better.

questions to ask your partner (infographic)

Illustration: Momjunction Design Team


Are you looking for romantic questions to ask your girlfriend? Check out this video for 45 questions to help you get closer and create a deeper connection with your girlfriend!

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Kelvin Pace
Kelvin PaceLLC, CST
Kelvin Pace is a Licensed Professional Counselor and an AASECT-Certified sex therapist practicing in Alaska. He did his Bachelor’s of Arts in Psychology, followed by a Master’s of Science in Clinical Psychology, both from the University of Alaska Anchorage.

Read full bio of Kelvin Pace
Kalpana M
Kalpana MMA (English)
Kalpana Nadimpalli graduated in English Literature and Psychology. Her fascination for the corporate world made her do a Masters in Business Administration from Andhra University. Being a mother of two boys, she could naturally fit into the shoes of a writer at MomJunction.

Read full bio of Kalpana M
Shikha is a writer-turned-editor at MomJunction, with over seven years of experience in the field of content. Having done a certification in Relationship Coaching, her core interest lies in writing articles that guide couples through their courtship to marriage and parenthood.

Read full bio of Shikha Thakur