Is She The One? 25 Signs To Help You Decide

Clear Signs To Know If She Is The One For You

Image: Midjourney/ MomJunction Design Team

When you have a crush on someone or are attracted to their personality, it’s natural to wonder if she is the one for you. You are perhaps curious to know if there is more to your relationship than just a connection. It is especially true if you want to go from dating to settling down with her.

To commit to her, you must determine whether she is compatible with you and her personality complements yours. Keep reading this post as we tell you the signs that you should look out for to be certain that she is the person with whom you want to share the rest of your life.

In This Article

Signs She Is The One

Here are a few signs that can help you figure out if she’s the one for you. Recognizing these signs helps you understand your relationship better. Take time to communicate openly with her about your feelings and future plans.

1. She constantly pushes you to be better

“The one” will always know your true potential. She will push you to perform at your very best and achieve great things. So while you and even your family, coworkers, and friends might be satisfied with where you are in life and your ambitions, “the one” will constantly inspire you to aim higher.

Woman supporting her man

Image: Shutterstock

2. She tells you the hard truths that no one else does

While even your closest friends and family will shy away from criticizing something you do or say because it’s easier to avoid conflict, “the one” will do the exact opposite. She will be your biggest critic and be brutally honest when you do or say something wrong and make you understand precisely where you went wrong. She does this because she believes that your relationship is strong enough to deserve only the unfiltered truth and that you will both be better for that honesty.

3. She cheers the loudest when you succeed

You may have plenty of well-wishers and supporters when you achieve something significant, but often, people might be just fulfilling a social obligation or being half-hearted about it. On some occasions, people may even act two-faced to disguise their jealousy and other unsavory motives. “The one” will celebrate your success with a sincerity that stands out from all these people because she knows how hard you’ve worked to achieve it. When you find someone who appreciates you and your efforts for what they’re worth, hang on to them.

protip_icon Point to consider
If she is there for you at your lowest of lows to encourage you, it means she supports you and is the right one.

4. You care deeply about her opinion of you

Plenty of people will judge you based on your appearance, clothes, intelligence, etc. While you may ignore most of them and not let them affect your mood or habits, when it comes to “the one,” you want her to think the world of you. Whether it’s your clothes or the language you use around her, you want her to think only good things about you. Being so deeply invested in her opinion of you is a good sign that she is certainly “the one.”

5. You connect on a deeper level

A passing glance, the raising of an eyebrow, a gentle nudge, or a smile — whenever these small gestures occur between you two, you feel an instant connection that you don’t have with anyone else. You both seem to have your love language that no one else speaks. A simple touch on the arm or a wink can tell entire stories of their own between you both. From inside jokes to code words, with “the one,” your relationship compatibility is on a level that few might be able to pick up.

Profound connection between a couple

Image: Shutterstock

6. She is invested in the things you care about

She may not be a sports fan or care about the new Tesla car or iPhone, but she knows that you do, and that’s enough for her. She’ll make every effort to educate herself about these things so she can share in your excitement for these events or things and be able to talk to you about them. When someone is willing to go beyond their conventional interests and likes to such a degree to make you happy, it shows that they care deeply about you, and they are likely “the one.”

7. She’s on the top of your list of priorities

While this is true in most relationships, when it comes to “the one,” you will take this to the next level. Whether she has a mild illness or sounds upset or depressed, you will drop everything, from your current work to friends and even family sometimes, to be there for her. When a woman is so objectively at the top of your priorities that everything takes a back seat, it is an indicator she is undoubtedly “the one” for you.

8. You accept her flaws

Everyone has flaws, “the one” included. It’s how you manage and deal with people’s flaws that define your relationships with them. While some people’s flaws might irk you and make you avoid them as much as possible, you won’t do this for “the one.” For her, you will find a way to reconcile yourself with her flaws and find common ground where you can both compromise and find peace because that’s how important she is to you.

9. She’s always making self-improvement

A common reason relationships fizzle out is because one or both parties become complacent and stop trying to better themselves as people. This won’t happen with “the one,” as she will always try to improve herself as you would. This reduces the risk of you both eventually drifting apart due to differences and stagnation in the relationship.

Inspiring woman pursuing new goals

Image: Shutterstock

10. She is stable and consistent with you

Everyone has off days and bad times, which can often show a different side of ourselves that doesn’t accurately portray who we are. When it comes to “the one,” however, this does not apply. She will be consistent in her behavior, morality, and opinions regardless of whatever else is happening around you both. When someone is emotionally stable and comfortable around you, it’s a huge sign of trust, and there is a good chance she is possibly “the one.”

protip_icon Point to consider
Emotional stability does not mean she will not have her mood swings. Stability here means she will do her best to maintain the relationship no matter the situation or her mood.

11. It is difficult for you to imagine a future without her

Couple envisioning their future

Image: IStock

Maybe you haven’t gotten down on one knee with a ring yet or even talked about your future together, but something tells you you want her to be with you in future. It’s almost like an unspoken promise. It doesn’t have to manifest in a proposal today or tomorrow, but as long as you know she is the one for you, it’s enough. When you try to imagine a future without her and end up drawing a blank, you know you’ve found “the one.”

12. You both always resolve issues through dialogue

People cope with conflict in different ways. Some people like to take some time off and need space, while others like to argue. Some people may even act like they’re not bothered and act as nothing has changed, all just to let peace prevail. But when it comes to “the one,” you will always be able to talk through your issues and finally resolve them. Communication is the most important thing in a relationship. Your inherent compatibility and mutual affection will push you to overcome your problems and solve them through dialogue and engagement rather than ignoring or giving each other the silent treatment.

13. You say you’re sorry to her, and you mean it

People are often at their most vulnerable when admitting their mistake and apologizing for it wholeheartedly. When it comes to her, you’ll find yourself a lot more willing to do this when you realize you’ve made a mistake. No amount of ego or arrogance will hold you back from wanting to make things right with her and letting her know that you are sorry. When you aren’t afraid to be this vulnerable and open with her, you can be sure she is probably “the one.”

14. She brings a smile to your face even when she’s not there

Maybe it’s a picture of her, a one-word text, an emoji, a memory of something you did, or the way her hair falls on her face; regardless, the smallest thought or memory of her brings a smile to your face. If the mere thought of her makes you so happy, she’s definitely “the one.”

15. Other women do not seem to measure up to her

Naturally, if you’re in love with her, you will like her more than other people. But if she makes other women seem insignificant or unimpressive to you, she must mean something special to you. When you’ve found “the one,” other women will lose their allure. Whether it’s physical attractiveness or their personalities, you will constantly find yourself comparing them to “the one” and find them lacking. When she sets the bar for how women should be for you, then you know she’s the one.

Ken, who is married to blogger Celestine Chua, shares how he knew she was the one for him, “The best way I can explain it is that I thought my life was full before, only to realize after meeting her that I was actually living such an empty life. I had been in many relationships before and never knew that such a deep, powerful relationship could exist until I met her. The level of compatibility — mentally, emotionally, etc. — is nothing I’ve experienced before (i).”

16. Other couples seem less engaging and even boring to you

It is common to consider your relationship superior to others’ sometimes. If all of the relationship stories around you seem boring or incomparable to yours, it means that you feel you have something special that they don’t. It’s not about who has “won” the relationship battle, but if the woman you love makes your relationship feel so much better than those around you, she’s clearly “the one.”

17. She challenges you intellectually

Couple having an intellectual conversation

Image: IStock

It’s easy enough to find a partner with whom you can get along and be comfortable. “The one,” however, is someone who will challenge you intellectually. She could make you rethink your entire stance on a subject or even question concepts that are essential to your identity. These could be political opinions or even a different viewpoint on a film or book. If she propels you to introspect and consider things on such a grand scale, then you can be sure that she is the one for you.

18. Your happiness matters a great deal to her

Most healthy relationships involve a good balance of give and take. If your partner is more concerned about “giving” and is willing to put your happiness above all things, it’s a good sign she’s the one. She will take joy in the things that make you happy, whether it’s a sequel to your favorite film franchise or even your favorite sports team winning a match. When your happiness is directly linked to hers, it shows that her priorities are centered around you.

19. She listens to you

While this sounds fairly simple, it isn’t easy to find someone who truly listens to you. There are plenty of people who hear what you have to say but to find someone who truly listens to you is difficult. This means not only picking up on what you’re saying but also reading between the lines and knowing what you have not said. If she listens to you intently and with a genuine interest, it shows she truly cares about you and what you’re trying to put across. This is a sure sign she’s “the one.”

20. She is candid with you

It’s normal to keep some things to yourself or compartmentalize some information based on who you are talking to. However, this rule does not apply to her. She is completely honest with you and shares her thoughts, opinions, insecurities, and fears unreservedly. If she’s willing to open herself up and express her true feelings to you, she’s likely the one.

21. She’s not prone to jealousy

A little jealousy can be healthy for a relationship, while excessive jealousy can break a relationship. “The one” is someone who feels comfortable both when around you and when not. She is secure enough in the relationship, and she trusts you implicitly.

22. The spark is always alive

In some relationships or even friendships, the things that bring two people together start to fizzle out over time. This is something that will not happen with “the one.” Not only will the spark stay alive, but also burn brighter as you spend more time with each other.

23. You don’t need to do anything to have a good time

A lot of couples are extremely “active” in their interactions. They always need to do something, such as going to a movie or being on a date or vacation. This provides them with the necessary rush they need to feel connected and have a good time. A sure sign of “the one” is when you can have a great time doing absolutely nothing at all. You could laze around in bed in silence and still have a fulfilling interaction with each other and not consider the day wasted.

24. You’re still friends with her

If you can still be best friends as well as partners and be there for each other as both friends and lovers, you know you’ve found “the one.” This not only eliminates tension and conflict but also ensures you fulfill each other’s every need, whether it’s romantic or just from the perspective of a best friend.

25. She accepts you as you are

No one is perfect. And especially in relationships, we are acutely aware of this fact about ourselves and our partners. While some couples tend to tread around the flaws in each other’s character and personality, with “the one,” you will acknowledge and embrace these flaws. If she loves you despite all your flaws, it means she’s the one.

Signs She Is Not The One

Finding the right partner is challenging, and you should also know how to identify if she is not meant for you. Here are some tips for the same:

  • It is difficult to continue conversations with them.
  • You do not feel comfortable thinking about settling with her.
  • You are the one who initiates conversation every time
  • She seems lost and disinterested, and you often get bored in her company.
  • You need to be someone else when with her.
  • Physical intimacy seems like a chore and not passionate.
  • You don’t long for her when she leaves.
  • Your thoughts wander for others even when you are with her.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. How important is having a strong emotional connection with “the one”?

The partners must have a strong emotional connection for a stable and happy relationship. The duration and success of a relationship are greatly influenced by emotional connection. It will uplift our spirits and give us a great sense of security.

2. Can “the one” change over time?

There are fair chances that ”the one” may change over time. However, these changes may be positive or negative. As humans, we may be prone to changing our attitudes and perceptions rather frequently, but this does not necessarily mean that these changes will be detrimental to our relationships.

3. How long does it usually take to know if she’s “the one?”

There is no specific period to determine whether she is “the one.” Spending time together and communicating, though, can make it easier to determine the depth of the connection and whether it can move further.

4. What if I don’t see these signs in my relationship?’

Every relationship is different, so if you don’t notice these signs, it could be helpful to talk to your partner about your feelings or reflect on areas that may need attention.

5. What are some common misconceptions about finding “the one?”

Some typical misconceptions regarding finding “the one” include the idea that it will happen magically without any effort and that “the one” will possess every quality imaginable, among other irrational expectations.

It is important that you know if she is the one for you before settling down with her. Hence, we hope the above points can help you understand what to look for in a partner. These signs are just a guideline to help you determine if she is the right person for you. They may not cover all the signs since this topic is quite subjective. However, if she seems to have most of these attributes, then it is likely you have found your soulmate. Once you have that clarity, take the next step based on your position in that relationship.

Infographic: How To Tell She Is The One For You?

You may feel a swirl of emotions when you meet a girl who seems perfect for spending your life with. Sometimes, you may have doubts since it feels too good to be true. So, to clear your confusion, here are a few more signs indicating she is the one.

signs indicating she is the one (infographic)

Illustration: Momjunction Design Team

Key Pointers

  • If that girl is continuously encouraging and pushing you to improve, she may be the one for you.
  • She will be the loudest cheerleader for your accomplishment, will connect with you on a deeper level, and will be concerned about your happiness.
  • You value her perspective, accept her shortcomings, and can’t imagine your life without her.

Illustration: Is She The One For Me? 25 Signs To Help You Find Out

is she the one_illustration

Image: Stable Diffusion/MomJunction Design Team

Are you in a steady relationship and want to take this to the next level? Watch this video to explore if she is truly the one.

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Dr. Carlos Juan Carmona-Goyena
Dr. Carlos Juan Carmona-GoyenaPhD (Counseling Psychology)
Dr. Carlos Juan Carmona-Goyena is a board licensed therapist in the USA and Puerto Rico with a specialty in couples, families, and relationships. Dr. Carlos possesses a PhD in Counseling Psychology granted at the Interamerican University of Puerto Rico.

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Rohan was an HR analyst before transitioning into a freelance writer/ editor. He holds a bachelor’s degree in Business Administration with a specialization in Human Resources from Christ University, Bangalore, and previously worked as an analyst in Goldman Sachs.

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