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Letting go of someone you love is not so easy as it sounds. It is complicated, especially when you dreamt of having a future with them. The first few weeks after a breakup can take a toll on your emotions and leave you scarred. However, there are ways to cope with heartbreak and not lose your mind over something that doesn’t exist anymore. If you want to take your mind off the breakup and start afresh, reading our post can help you let go of the person you loved. Follow the steps one by one, and soon you will find the light at the end of the tunnel and recover yourself from the emotional turmoil.
Key Pointers
- When you let go of someone you love, it could be harder to process your feelings and emotions.
- Accepting the reality, focusing on yourself, sticking with your decision, and seeking help from friends or professionals can help make the process easier.
- It is difficult to let go of the person, but not impossible.
16 Ways To Let Go Of Someone You Love
1. Accept the reality
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Yes, it may sound like a horrible thing to do, but letting go means accepting the truth. No matter how things ended between you two, dealing with your emotions head-on and being completely honest with yourself can allow you to take stock of the situation and set your sights on the future.
Randy Scott, a blogger, shares how he moved on from his relationship after the breakup. He says, “My three-year relationship ended a few months ago. I didn’t fight it. I figure if someone chooses not to be with me, it’s on them. I can walk away knowing that I gave my all and did my best. I take accountability for my portion of the relationship. I took time to be with my emotions after she let me know that she no longer chooses me: sadness, anger, abandonment, grief, betrayal. I didn’t resist them. I leaned into them. I learned from them. I looked for the gifts in this new experience (i).”
Point to consider2. Distance yourself
Severing all your ties with your ex is your first step towards moving on. Start by breaking off contact and distancing yourself physically and emotionally. You could start by deleting their number on your phone or blocking them on social media. Also, try to avoid the places they are likely to frequent. Your priority should be self-care and self-healing (more on these later in this post).
3. Discard the things that remind you of them
Still wondering how to forget someone you love? Start by discarding the things that are likely to remind you of them. Out of sight, out of mind, remember? From love letters to tickets and teddy bears to clothing, relinquishing all sentimental items of his is the right thing to do. If you are not ready to discard them just yet, box them. You also have to delete those songs on your playlist or photos that remind you of them. Forgoing any object that reminds you of your past is the best way to hasten healing.
4. Give yourself time to heal
Do not rush the process as it can only make it harder for you to process your feelings and emotions. Understanding how to heal from a toxic relationship requires patience and self-compassion. So, give yourself enough time to heal. Take the time to introspect and become self-aware of your feelings and emotions. Let yourself go through all the pain, anger, and sadness and remind yourself that this is a temporary phase. Of course, time may not heal all your wounds but will definitely make it easier for you to let go of that person.
5. Focus on yourself
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Abandoning or forsaking your happiness because of your break up is not wise. Instead, be kind to yourself. You could spend this time to find out what you want from life. It does not mean you are giving up on love. It is a simple break to find yourself again. Do the things that you have been planning to do but couldn’t until now. Develop and sustain a healthy daily routine, such as working, exercise, healthy eating, social interaction, etc. Also, spend some time in solitude and introspect on your current situation, the things you love, and the things you could live without. It will help you avoid surrendering to depressing thoughts.
6. Do not bottle up your feelings
After a breakup, you will experience various feelings, including anger, disappointment, and hurt. The worst thing you could do is bottle up these feelings and emotions. Remember that crying your heart out after a breakup is completely normal. Bottling up your feelings could keep you from letting go of your ex. So focus on releasing all your pent-up emotions and feelings holding you back from a fresh start.
Point to consider7. Banish the negative feelings
In order to let go of the person you love, you need to let go of your negative emotions. Figure out the feelings that you need to leave behind, and make a conscious effort to find a healthy outlet—it could be something as simple as working out, painting, writing, punching a boxing bag, or talking to someone you trust. Remember, quitting is not an option. Promise to keep yourself occupied and happy.
8. Forgive yourself
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Stop viewing your relationship as a failure and putting all the blame on yourself. Holding on to guilt will only hold you back. Instead, realize that the past is the past, and consider the mistakes that you have made as a learning experience.
9. Do not fantasize
To truly let go of the person you love, ceding the fantasy about your ex coming back is what will help you. By divesting yourself of their memories, you are taking active steps towards moving on. But, remember, it does not help thinking about what could have been if you had done something differently or what could be if you got back together. Do a reality check, admit that whatever happened has happened as a reality, and look forward to the future. Indulging in fantasies will only prevent you from moving on.
10. Reach out to someone you trust
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The feelings of loneliness and isolation can overwhelm you. Reach out to a person you trust, confide in them, and get support and love from them. If possible, get guidance and advice from a loved one who has gone through a similar experience.
11. Take it as a learning experience
Breakups are never easy, but remember that each breakup comes with a learning experience. Instead of dwelling on what you could have done, count the lessons that the relationship has taught you. Identify what clicked and what didn’t. Learn from the mistakes you have committed. Remember, you’ll become a stronger person, and your next relationship would be stronger.
12. Spend quality time with your friends
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Whenever the question ‘should I call my ex?’ arises in your mind, remember that the answer is a big ‘NO.’ Instead, reach out to your friends with whom you could not spend enough time. Distract yourself from the hurt that you are experiencing by making plans with friends and doing fun things. However, remember to be choosy, and stick to those who you trust and can help you become the best version of yourself.
13. Practice self-care
The process of letting go of someone you love can impact your energy level and make you less motivated. Pamper yourself and channel all the love that you have been offering your partner to yourself. Fall in love with yourself, get enough rest, eat well, exercise, take a break from work, and make time for the simple, pleasurable things of life.
14. Stay single for a while
As you struggle to let go of someone you love, it is easy for you to seek love and attention from other people. However, avoid dating the next person you meet. Remember, you are not emotionally ready for it yet. Staying single for a while can help you recover and get ready for a healthy relationship.
15. Seek professional help
The process of letting go of someone you love can be taxing. It can drain you emotionally and mentally. If, despite all your efforts, you can’t seem to control your emotions, try to approach a professional therapist or counselor. They could offer you a safe space to explore your pain and help you look at things from a new perspective.
16. Self-discovery
Letting go of someone you love with all your heart opens the path to self-discovery. It shifts focus from external loss to internal growth and helps you build resilience and self-sufficiency by understanding and nurturing your needs, desires, and values. This journey aids your healing, fosters a sense of independence, and prepares you for healthy relationships in the future.
Signs You Should Move On
Moving on from a toxic relationship may not be easy, but you have to make the hard decision for your own emotional well-being. Here are some signs that tell it’s time to move on.
- Unhappiness: Feeling constantly unhappy or drained.
- Lack of trust: Persistent doubts and misunderstandings.
- Different life goals: Incompatible future plans and vision.
- Emotional or physical abuse: Any form of abuse or disrespect.
- Neglect or indifference: Feeling ignored or unappreciated.
- Constant conflicts: Frequent arguments without resolution.
- Loss of personal identity: Losing yourself or compromising your core values.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. Can I love someone and still let go?
It’s really painful and can feel like a nightmare. But sometimes, life gives no choice, and letting go is the only choice. Love and relationships can feel incomplete and worthless when affection, passion, and romance begin to fade. At such times, one must acknowledge that parting ways would be healthy for both parties involved and thus, let go of them.
2. How does co-parenting work with someone I still love?
Co-parenting after separating or letting go can be tricky and super challenging. Recognizing and respecting each other’s parenting styles, setting clear boundaries, and having open communication can help co-parent in the best possible manner. For the sweet little child, both parents would have to keep their issues aside and come together to give them a healthy childhood.
3. At what point do I let go of someone I love?
Determining when to release someone you love is a personal decision influenced by individual circumstances. It might be appropriate when a relationship consistently brings suffering, fails to meet your needs, lacks trust or mutual respect, or impedes personal development. Ultimately, it necessitates reflection and introspection.
4. What is the hardest part of letting go of someone I love?
The most challenging part of moving on and letting go of someone you love is the emotional struggle that comes with it. Figuring out how to stop loving someone requires patience and the willingness to confront your feelings. It means accepting the loss, mourning the relationship, and dealing with the uncertainty of what lies ahead.
5. Does letting go mean stopping caring?
Letting go doesn’t have to necessarily imply ceasing to care. It means acknowledging that certain things are beyond our control and relinquishing attachment. It’s possible to continue caring for someone while unburdening ourselves emotionally and prioritizing our own happiness.
6. Is it necessary to let go of someone I love for my own well-being?
In certain situations, it may be essential for your own well-being to let go of someone you love. If the relationship consistently brings you pain, undermines your self-worth, or obstructs your growth, it becomes crucial to prioritize your happiness and emotional health by moving on.
7. What are the consequences of not letting go of someone I love?
Choosing not to let go of someone you love can result in enduring emotional anguish, feeling trapped in an unfulfilling or toxic relationship, and neglecting your own well-being. It can hinder your ability to progress, discover new love, and cultivate personal growth and happiness.
8. Are there any positive outcomes that can come from letting go of someone I love?
Letting go of someone you love can have positive outcomes, like experiencing emotional freedom and finding inner peace. It enables you to prioritize your well-being, focus on personal development, and cultivate a healthier and more joyful life.
Letting go of someone you love is a difficult choice and a heartbreaking experience. But giving yourself enough time, loving yourself, jettisoning pent-up emotions, and discarding things that remind you of them are a few ways to help you. Remember that you will find love again; the pain will be a learning experience. The best thing you can do is focus on yourself and work towards making yourself better.
Infographic: Seek Help From Music To Let Go And Move On
Whether you have had a breakup or wish to move ahead from a relationship that doesn’t seem productive, listening to music is a great way to acknowledge your feelings and move on. Moreover, it is imperative to move on in life, slowly but steadily, to rediscover a stronger version of yourself and find someone better in the future. The songs in this infographic cannot agree more! Illustration: Momjunction Design Team
Illustration: Right Ways To Let Go Someone You Love And Move On
Image: Stable Diffusion/MomJunction Design Team
Letting go of someone can be hard, but it’s possible. Uncover the key to freeing your heart from this video as it will show you the trick to releasing them from your heart.
Personal Experience: Source
MomJunction articles include first-hand experiences to provide you with better insights through real-life narratives. Here are the sources of personal accounts referenced in this article.
i. The power of letting go;https://medium.com/the-ascent/the-power-of-letting-go-fc8bccb194fd
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