Image: Midjourney/ MomJunction Design Team
Has your husband been ignoring you and behaving strangely of late? Do you feel something fishy, and he is up for something? Then you would want to know the signs of a married man in love with another woman. When a married man loves another woman, he gives out certain indications of his new love through his behavior and body language. He is always distracted or daydreaming and hardly has time to spend with you. He is in a world of his own, spends more time on the phone, and gets defensive whenever you confront him. All these episodes may take a toll on you, and you may feel emotionally exhausted. In this post, we bring you signs your man has fallen for another woman. Read on.
Key Pointers
- If you notice your husband hiding his phone or disallowing you to use it, there are chances of him having an extramarital affair.
- The new relationship may bring out a new version of him that you can notice in his style and taste.
- If you observe more of the below signs in your man, it may be a red flag in the relationship as he could be in love with another woman.
Can A Married Man Fall In Love With Another Woman?
Yes, it is possible for a married man to develop feelings for another woman. Human emotions, including romantic feelings, can be complex and unpredictable. Challenges in marriage are inevitable. These might make individuals vulnerable to forming romantic connections with others. However, it’s important to note that having feelings for someone outside of marriage doesn’t necessarily mean a person will act on those feelings or engage in infidelity. Many people experience attractions or emotional connections outside their primary relationships but remain committed to their spouses. The key factors in navigating such situations include open communication with one’s spouse, addressing underlying issues within the marriage, and making conscious choices that prioritize the commitment and values of the relationship.
25 Signs A Married Man Is In Love With Another Woman
Being infatuated with someone outside your relationship or finding someone who is not your spouse attractive is a common occurrence. What matters is if your spouse acts on those feelings and cheats. Women are significantly more distressed by emotional infidelity than sexual (1). So, if your husband is emotionally invested in another woman, you may have noticed some signs that are causing you anxiety. If you’re looking for confirmation of the signs to determine if your man is smitten with another woman, keep reading this post to come to a logical conclusion.
1. He hides his phone
Does he act mysterious when talking over the phone? When he secretly calls someone while you are in another room, you may notice that he speaks in a hushed tone. When his phone buzzes, he sometimes walks away or attempts to answer by lowering his voice. When you question him, he says it’s just one of his friends or a family member. If your man spends too much time on the phone and tries to hide it from you, it’s a red flag and suggests something is up with his secret phone calls or texting. It could also mean that he wants to maintain his privacy, but that would not require him to hide his phone all the time. It can strongly indicate that he is communicating with someone he does not want you to know about.
2. He avoids having physical intimacy with you
You crave intimate moments, but his mind is preoccupied and filled with romantic feelings for the other women. As a result, he avoids kissing you, holding your hands, cuddling, and even making love with you. The rejection of intimacy for no apparent reason strongly indicates that he is in love with another woman and, perhaps, the most unambiguous indication that he has no feelings for you. When you are in a monogamous relationship, there is an expectation that your husband will show some physical interest in you. If there is no spark, there is a high possibility that he is attracted to someone else.
However, before you jump on that possibility, consider other reasons as well—he may be emotionally dissatisfied or feeling neglected by you. Alternatively, he may have sexual dysfunction. Studies have shown that men over the age of 40 have a 40% chance of developing mild to moderate forms of erectile dysfunction (ED) (2). So, the lack of sexual intimacy alone cannot be evidence of infidelity. If it is combined with several other indications, he may be cheating on you.
3. He doesn’t allow you to use his phone
He used to have no problem asking you to check his messages or emails while busy with some work at home. However, now, he refuses to let you use his phone or becomes nervous when you do. He probably has a password to lock his phone, deletes his call history, or pays more attention to his phone than to you—all these signs indicate he’s mushy on the phone with another woman and is likely hiding something from you.
4. He stops asking your opinions
If your man no longer talks to you as much as he used to or has stopped asking for your opinion on important family issues, you might want to know the reasons. Does he appear to be bored in your presence and no longer seem to be interested in what you do? If he doesn’t communicate with you or share his concerns or feelings with you, it’s a tell-tale sign that your man is getting emotional validation elsewhere, and he is likely infatuated with another woman. While there may be other reasons behind him not opening up, you are still his married partner, so he is no longer valuing your input, indicating that he is emotionally checked out of the relationship.
5. He criticizes you
He distances himself from you and criticizes your tastes and choices.
He dislikes everything about you, from the way you cook to your attitude and the way you dress. Next, he starts condescending and belittling you for how you talk or look to lower your self-esteem and make you feel bad. You will also notice that he often appears distracted and no longer behaves as he used to. This is not only a sign of disrespect; it shows that he is dissatisfied with the marriage and looking for ways to justify his feelings for someone else. He may also be trying to hide a guilty conscience and looking for reasons to end the marriage without you finding out about his infidelity.
6. He doesn’t leave his laptop
He never paid much attention to his devices earlier. Now, it appears that he cannot function without his laptop, computer, or tablet, and he spends hours and hours glued to his devices, often secretly video chatting with the other woman in his life while pretending to work. He could also be using his electronics to distract himself and find an escape so he can avoid interacting with you at home. If your man is suddenly keeping secrets from you or avoiding telling you things, it is a sign he is hiding something from you.
7. He mentions another woman
If he constantly tries to bring up another woman in his conversations, it is time to be wary. It’s a sign that the “other woman” has his attention and that he thinks she’s special in some way. If she is a new person in his life and someone he goes out with frequently or spends a lot of time with, it is a clear sign that he is fascinated with her and is falling for her, even if he denies it. While simply mentioning another woman, friend, or coworker once or twice is not a red flag, if he is constantly speaking about her, praising her, and comparing you to her in a way that puts you down, it is a cause for concern.
8. He ignores you
Emotional neglect is a serious sign of a relationship in its last stages and suggests he is emotionally invested elsewhere or resenting you. This is one of the most painful signs that makes you realize that you are next to someone who does not give you the attention and respect you deserve. He is no longer fond of you. You could spend hours talking, and your man wouldn’t even acknowledge it, or sometimes, you might try to communicate with him, and he would never answer, and you’d be constantly wondering why he ignores you. But, of course, the answer lies in his new-found love.
9. He has new tastes
He’s developed new habits and tastes. You notice a change in his food habits, musical preferences, books, and even movies that he watches. His speaking style has also changed. He may be emulating another woman he’s in love with. If you’ve noticed a shift in his habits and tastes, and something deep within your heart tells you that something isn’t right, it’s time to listen to your instincts. While yes, he could be emulating a new friend or coworker, nobody goes to such extreme lengths as to drastically change their habits and preferences to simply make a new friend.
10. He disappears without informing
He vanishes without a trace on his weekly offs, and he frequently fails to return your calls or messages. He may go on vacations without you or avoid plans that involve you. In addition, you notice changes in his routine and even the time he leaves work. Unusually, he does not communicate when he is away, and the dynamics of his departures have entirely changed.
11. He fights for no reason
At the slight provocation, he turns conversations into arguments. He finds any reason to start a fight with you, and he seeks to have conflicts with you as a pretext to avoid you or not communicate with you. He also holds you responsible for many of the problems that arise, refuses to accept responsibility for his errors, and insists that he is always correct. If you notice your partner becoming irritated, angry, or constantly dismissing, when you ask for affection, he has most likely fallen in love with someone else. If the other woman demands more of his time, he may start an argument with you to storm out and meet her. If he is always picking fights, he may be looking for a reason to break up with you.
Point to consider12. He doesn’t want to be seen on social media
If you ever post photos of the two of you together on your social media, suddenly your man tells you not to do so. He also stops posting images of you both. Unless he has been overly concerned about privacy and data leakage before, him removing your pictures from his social media or untagging himself from photos you’ve posted is a major red flag. Your partner’s refusal to share pictures of you two could signify that he wants to disconnect from social media to avoid disclosing his marital status to the other woman he loves.
13. He gets defensive
Does he get angry and defensive when asked about the other woman? He may tell you that “she’s just a friend,” “an old college friend,” or “a coworker.” When you ask him more questions, he becomes angry and tries to accuse you of intruding into his life instead of answering your questions. When a man becomes overly defensive in response to your questions about his whereabouts or association with someone else, it is clear that something is wrong. This is because there should be no reason not to answer your questions and clarify your doubts if he has nothing to hide. Excessive defensiveness usually indicates guilt.
14. He changes his looks
Have you noticed your man grooming himself a lot more than usual lately? Is he dressing better, and has there been a sudden change in his appearance? Is he wearing elegant new shirts that he never wears outside of the office or when you are not present, or is he sporting a new hairstyle? A drastic change in his appearance may indicate that he is probably in love with another woman or is trying to impress the “other woman” in his life. While maintaining one’s appearance and grooming regularly is always a good thing, if he is doing all of these things suddenly, he might be making an effort to get someone else’s attention.
An anonymous blogger details her experience finding out about her husband’s infidelity after 12 years of marriage through his drastic change in grooming habits. She writes, “I’d been slightly suspicious for a few weeks, but only in the sense he started that I had noticed he’d started to shave everyday without fail, wear aftershave etc… sometimes came home from work late and was slightly ‘offy’ with me. At one point I joked that he was having an affair – because, as I said “you’re ticking all the checkboxes”… he had laughed and I had NO idea I had hit the nail on the head (i).”
15. He compares you with another woman
He may not have compared you to anyone before, but the moment he does, or if he constantly brings up her name in conversations, it means he is in love with or attracted to another woman.
The more he grows attracted to her, the more he notices things peculiar to the other woman. For example, he may suggest how good you would look in that same dress as the other woman, or he may ask, “Why can’t you be more like her?” When your partner considers the other woman to be more important and interesting than you, he probably is enamored of them. He is mentally placing someone else above you and idealizing her while growing emotionally distant from you.
16. He has mood swings
Unless he’s had a particularly stressful week at work, his mood is likely to be influenced by the other woman in his life. He is happy and rapturous when he is interacting with another woman, and when he’s around you, he is grumpy, moody, and easily irritated by your presence. This means his mood or emotional state is dependent on his interactions with another woman, which is why he is either feeling guilty or excited about the affair, taking it out on you. You must make a sound decision if he misses her or is resentful towards you because he cannot be with her.
17. He’s emotionally distant
Before, he was emotionally available, devoted, and shared everything under the sun. But now, when he faces difficult situations or requires assistance with something, he confides in others rather than coming to you. It usually means he is withdrawing from the relationship and losing his emotional investment in you. So, if your husband appears to be emotionally withdrawn or distant from you, although you lavish him with love and affection, it is most likely due to his preoccupation with the thoughts of the other woman.
18. He stops complimenting you
When your relationship was going well, he was very appreciative, and compliments poured in, at times even without reason. You could tell he loves you and that he’s drawn to you. However, as your husband loses interest in you, you will notice that compliments have dried out, and he complains more frequently. This drastic behavior change indicates his disinterest in you and suggests he no longer sees you in the same light and is possibly emotionally invested in someone else.
Point to consider19. He skips special days
Does he frequently miss family gatherings, birthdays, and wedding anniversaries or forget important dates in your life, such as your child’s birthday? When confronted, he may come up with excuses such as increased work pressure and work longer hours. However, in reality, if your man frequently forgets or skips special occasions, it indicates that he is uninterested in a relationship with you. If your man starts missing or forgetting important days and occasions, he may be distracted or not want to be there since he has different priorities and does not value the relationship as much as before.
20. He doesn’t say “I love you”
If he does not express his love or rarely shows affection, it is a sign that he has fallen out of love. Even if he says “I love you,” the words may sound hollow or forced. This indicates he may be falling out of love with you, rendering his words performative. His feelings of affection for you are being overshadowed by his feelings for someone else. He was affectionate with you, but the sudden disappearance of that affection could be a critical sign that your man has fallen out of love with you.
21. He spends more time outside
If your man is a home bird but has been spending more time outside and away from you lately, he’s probably finding happiness elsewhere. When your man makes excuses to be away from you or home, it’s a sign that something isn’t right. He may be spending time with his new-found love or simply avoiding his home life out of guilt.
22. He sleeps late, wakes up early
Have you recently noticed your husband getting out of bed at unusual times or a sudden change in his bedtime routine? Unless he is diabetic or insomniac, he will not frequently be getting out of bed. Remember that there is no better time to message or call the other woman than while you are asleep. Late-night texts and calls are common in affairs, and he is likely sneaking in time to communicate with her.
23. He feels guilty
When a man feels guilty, he may become unusually affectionate or attentive to conceal his affair or alleviate some of his guilt. For example, if your husband is having an affair, he may lavish you with affection and attention by giving you extravagant gifts for no reason, doing dishes, or assisting around the house. Guilt-ridden behavior is an unmistakable sign that he is in love with another woman. If he normally does not make grand gestures of affection or do household chores, he may be just trying to ease his guilt and make up for his unfaithful behavior.
24. He avoids eye contact
“The eyes are the window to the soul,” goes the saying. Even if he doesn’t want you to know how he feels about something, he can’t change how his eyes behave. His eyes will reveal whether he is telling the truth or lying. When he has something to hide, he may avoid you by not making eye contact. He’s unlikely to hold your gaze and engage fully with you because he’s hiding a secret that he’s afraid you’ll discover. So, if your husband always looks at you when speaking to you and he stops doing that all of a sudden, you should be concerned. Avoiding eye contact is a sign of deception and a guilt-ridden conscience.
25. He accuses you
If your partner accuses you of infidelity, it could be because he is unfaithful to you. When a man becomes involved and charmed with another woman, he views you through the same moral lens. Accusing you of infidelity could be his way of deflecting himself from his guilt and core behavior. Deflecting blame is a common defense mechanism and it is likely he is only projecting his guilt on to you. So, if your husband is suddenly suspicious of you and accuses you of infidelity when you have given him no cause for concern, you should be worried whether it is his own guilty conscience talking.
If your husband has been showing the majority of the signs mentioned above, he is most likely to be cheating on you. According to a survey by iFidelity, men are more likely to have extramarital affairs than women. In the graph below, we see that 20% of men who are or were married have cheated on their spouse, while only 10% of women admitted to cheating on their partner in the past.
Infidelity in the US by gender
Source: Predicting Infidelity: An Updated Look at Who Is Most Likely to Cheat in America; YouGov/Wheatly Institution/iFidelity Survey
Do rememberWhat To Do When Your Husband Likes Another Woman?
Emotional manifestations of infidelity-based trauma can include feelings of extreme rage, betrayal, anger, guilt, insecurity, jealousy, shame, and sadness (1). So, if your husband is in love with another woman, it is incredibly challenging and emotionally taxing for you. Here are some ways you can navigate this situation.
- Take time to process your emotions: Feeling hurt, betrayed, and angry is natural. Let yourself process these emotions without making any impulsive decisions. Consider journaling or speaking with a trusted friend or therapist to clarify your thoughts before taking the next step.
- Have an open and honest conversation: Talk to your husband and ask him directly about his feelings and intentions. Focus on understanding the situation and stay calm rather than reacting emotionally. Tell him how his actions have affected you using “I” statements.
- Assess the state of your marriage: Ask him if his emotional affair or infatuation is a signal of deeper issues in your marriage. Is there any unresolved conflict, or has he simply grown distant from you? This is the time to discuss whether you both want to fix this relationship.
- Talk about boundaries and expectations: Find a clear definition of what is acceptable and unacceptable in your relationship moving forward. If he is still in touch with the other woman, discuss if he is willing to cut ties or set boundaries with her.
- Consider professional help: If you are both willing and able to work together to save your marriage, consider going to couples counseling to address the underlying issues. If he is unwilling to go to couples counseling, seek individual therapy for yourself to find clarity and gain emotional support.
- Think about your options: If your husband does not want to work on the marriage, think about whether staying is in your best interest. However, if reconciliation is on the horizon, work on rebuilding your trust and intimacy. In the worst case scenario, if legal separation is the best path, ensure you have strong emotional, financial, and legal support in place.
- Trust your instincts: Even after discussing all your issues, seeking counselling, and setting boundaries, if your husband is emotionally or physically invested in the other woman, you deserve better. Trust your instincts, and give priority to your self-respect, happiness, and well-being.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. Can a man love his wife and another woman at the same time?
It is not ethically correct to cheat, nor should it be encouraged, but yes, it does happen. A man might be meeting his emotional or physical needs somewhere else and still wants to stay married or in a relationship with you. That is a red flag you shouldn’t ignore and conclude after a straightforward talk.
2. Is it true that in a relationship one person loves more than the other?
One person may be showing more signs of love and caring for their partner. However, it is not easy to quantify love by yourself. In most scenarios, one cannot explain how much they love their partner.
3. Can a married man be in love with another woman without acting on his feelings?
Yes, even if a man is married, he can feel love for another woman but not act on those feelings. Love doesn’t always mean doing something physical. People can control themselves and stay loyal to their marriage promises, even when they have emotional connections with others.
4. What are the emotional and psychological effects on the other woman in this situation?
The other woman in this situation may feel confused, sad, and miss the man. She might also feel guilty or unsure about what to do. It can be tough emotionally, as she has to deal with her feelings for him while respecting the boundaries of his existing relationship.
5. How can you differentiate between a married man who is simply being friendly and one who is romantically interested in another woman?
It can be hard to tell if a married man is just being friendly or if he likes another woman romantically. Some signs to look out for are if he talks to her a lot, wants to spend time with her, or flirts or touches her. It’s important to think about the situation, how he acts consistently, and talk openly with him to understand what he really means.
6. Can extramarital affairs be true love?
Having an affair means breaking the promises and trust in a marriage. Even though people in the affair may feel very strong emotions, it’s usually not seen as true love because it’s not right and it hurts the spouse and family involved.
7. What should I do if I suspect my husband is cheating?
Make sure you are calm, look for concrete evidence, and recollect your thoughts about your relationship with him. When you’re ready to confront, talk to your husband, but do not confront him based on assumptions or mere suspicions. Evaluate your next steps and talk to a therapist or lawyer, whoever can help.
8. How can I approach my husband about my concerns?
Have the conversation at a calm and private place with no interruptions. Avoid accusations and state your concerns along with the reasons or incidents; ask open-ended questions and be prepared for his reaction. Also, you must listen to his explanation and avoid emotions overriding rational discussion.
If things have not been the same lately with your husband acting strange, these signs of a married man in love with another woman are important to look out for. If your husband suddenly seems distant from you, spends more time outside, avoids physical intimacy with you, or acts suspicious, these could be some signs your husband has a crush on another woman. Analyze his behavior with the help of the above signs before jumping to a conclusion. Remember to keep your marriage a priority before your rage and anger. First, approach him with a straightforward conversation to know the whole truth and cause behind his behavior. Addressing concerns early can prevent further emotional distress and help rebuild trust in your relationship.
Infographic: Subtle Indications Your Husband Loves Another Woman
If there have been rough times in your relationship or you and your husband have been facing conflicts quite often, there could be chances that your husband is seeing another woman secretly. So, before you have a conversation with your husband, check for these signs in this infographic that might help you gain some clarity on this matter. Illustration: Momjunction Design Team
Illustration: Clear Signs Of A Married Man In Love With Another Woman
Image: Stable Diffusion/MomJunction Design Team
Are you worried your husband is in love with another woman? There are ways to find out. Here are the 25 signs to look out for to know if your husband has fallen for another woman.
Personal Experience: Source
MomJunction articles include first-hand experiences to provide you with better insights through real-life narratives. Here are the sources of personal accounts referenced in this article.
i. Day 1 ~ D-Day.https://survivinganaffair.wordpress.com/2010/04/02/discoveryday/
References
- Ami Rokach et al.; (2023); Love and Infidelity: Causes and Consequences.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10002055/#B12-ijerph-20-03904 - Monica G. Ferrini et al.; (2017); Aging related erectile dysfunction—potential mechanism to halt or delay its onset.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5313305/
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