5 Reasons Why Tickling Kids Can Be Harmful

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For generations, parents have tickled their children. You may think that tickling kids is one of the quickest ways to improve their moods and bond through physical touch. But have you ever considered that your child may not be having as much fun as you believe? Even if your intentions are genuine, tickling them could be harmful.

Tickling may elicit chuckles more quickly than any other game, but that does not guarantee your child is having fun. They may laugh and seem to be expressing joy because they can’t help themselves and cannot tell you to stop. It can have a lasting impact on children, and many may not equate tickling with playfulness or a happy experience. It is important to recognize a child’s feelings and encourage an atmosphere of consent regarding all forms of physical affection shown at home. Not all children respond positively to tickling, so being understanding of them is crucial for their emotional safety.

Read this post to learn about the types of tickling and how tickling can be harmful to children.

Types Of Tickling

Our skin has different sensory receptors (cells and nerves) that help us feel different kinds of sensations. Tickling generally refers to two types of sensations, namely (1) (2)

1. Knismesis

This refers to the ticklish or itchy sensation you get due to a light touch in any part of the body. Many animals, including cats and dogs, have the tickle reflex. The best example of this tickle sensation is the feeling you get when a feather trails along your skin.

2. Gargalesis

This happens due to a heavier touch to ticklish parts of the body — the soles of the feet, underarms, the neck, the ribs, and the tummy are some of the tickle spots. Touching these parts of the body induces involuntary laughter as a tickle response.

Experts say

According to Carole Lieberman, MD-MPH, psychiatrist and author, “The benefits of tickling children are to make them laugh just for the fun of it, as well as to distract them from a depressing or anxiety-provoking situation (5).”

Is Tickling A Child Harmful?

In the 19^th century, theorists, such as Charles Darwin, had suggested that tickling was connected with humor. However, scientists have debunked this theory and are of the view that tickling is more of a reflex (2).

Tickling is a game we usually play with children. However, children often feel helpless and out of control while being tickled. They cannot tell you to stop because they cannot draw breath, and you are likely to mistake their laughing for encouragement.

Many children feel paralyzed due to tickling and go to any lengths to protect themselves from being tickled. In fact, many adults state that they have felt very uncomfortable while being tickled as children (3).

While we, adults, might consider tickling as enjoyable for children, and while our intentions might be good, tickling can be downright uncomfortable for your child.

Larah Ritchie, a freelance graphic designer and mother, reflects on her childhood experience with tickling. She shares, “As a little kid I was super ticklish. It follows that I was also super tortured. I have emotion-filled childhood memories of being tickled against my will. I remember feeling conflicted about not wanting to be tickled because the person tickling me (whether a friend, a cousin or a parent) was harmlessly trying to show their affection in a fun and loving way. I felt like a grumpy party-pooper when I insisted they stop. I remember allowing the tickling to go on until my giggles and pleas turned to a lump in my throat and tears. And sometimes actual, stupid, unwelcome crying. Which was also frustrating and confusing. I didn’t realize until much, much later in life (like in my 40s) that the emotion fighting to be seen through my giggles, was a natural defense to relinquishing control of my body (i).”

Trivia

Kusuguri-zeme, or “merciless tickling,” was a form of torture popular in Japan (5).

Why You Shouldn’t Assume Every Kid Loves Being Tickled

Like every other physical activity that requires contact with another human, tickling should also require consent. However, as tickling is often seen as a form of play or amusement, many people do not think asking for a child’s permission before touching them is necessary.

The following are a few reasons why you shouldn’t assume your child likes being tickled.

1. They cannot stop giggling because they cannot help it

Even if they hate it, your children will be giggling helplessly and will not be able to tell you that they are not enjoying it. The laughter that occurs with tickling is reflexive and is not the same as what happens after listening to a good joke (4).

2. It violates their right to bodily autonomy

We have heard a lot about consent and how touching someone without their consent is a violation of their bodily integrity. It is necessary to ask whether your child is okay with being tickled.

An anonymous mother of two shares her opinion regarding tickling children in her blog named ‘On the Fence,’ “I personally hate tickling, I have bad memories about it from my childhood, I can’t stand anyone even hinting at trying to tickle me. Do I want my kids to have the same memories in the future? Definitely not, so we don’t abuse tickling in our house and only do it for a short while if kids ask for it (ii).”

3. It can be humiliating

Any person who is being tickled loses self-control. They are unable to state what they want, and they struggle to regain control. This can be humiliating for a child. Even if your intentions are good, the result may be hurtful to the child.

Research finds

According to a study, adults who were tickled by their siblings in their childhood reported that they viewed the experience as physical abuse (5).

4. Tickling can cause medical complications

When a child is tickled continuously, they start laughing uncontrollably and are unable to talk or breathe. In some cases, they might even lose consciousness. As they cannot tell you to stop, you might not realize that they are in trouble.

5. Tickling creates trust issues

If your child does not like to be tickled, tickling them against their wish might create lifelong trust issues. As they grow older, they may equate tickling to physical abuse, develop a major mistrust for people touching them, and try to avoid crowded places for fear of being touched (5).

If you have been tickled as a child and enjoyed it, you might find it difficult to fathom why you must not tickle your child. However, every child is different. While you might have enjoyed a tickle monster game or a tickle fight experience, another child might not. You should always ask your child for consent and let them set boundaries before tickling them.

Signs A Child Does Not Enjoy Being Tickled

If a child is uncomfortable being tickled, they may display noticeable signs of discomfort. Here are some common signs to watch for (7).

1. Saying no or asking to stop: If a child says “stop” or “no” it’s a clear sign they are not comfortable. Even if they are laughing, their words should be taken seriously.
2. Trying to escape or block the tickling: A child who squirms, pushes hands away, or tries to cover ticklish areas shows they want the tickling to stop. If they stiffen their body instead of relaxing, it’s another clear sign of discomfort.
3. Showing frustration or distress: Crying, frowning, or displaying frustration or anger indicates that the child isn’t enjoying the tickling.
4. Forced or unnatural laughter: If a child’s laughter seems strained, uncomfortable, or forced, and their facial expression appears tense instead of joyful, they might not be enjoying the experience. Genuine fun is reflected in natural laughter.
5. Making loud noises: If a child makes loud noises, such as high-pitched screams or yells, during tickling, it may indicate distress rather than enjoyment.

Infographic: What You Should Know About Tickling Children

Although tickling brings out laughter, certain dos and don’ts must be followed for children. We may not think much of it, but there is a thin line between tickle fun and torture. So learn when and how to draw the line between the two and maintain the fun of tickling children.

Illustration: Momjunction Design Team

Illustration: Reasons Why Tickling Kids Can Be Harmful

Image: Dall·E/MomJunction Design Team

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