Should You Or Should You Not Block Your Ex?

Image: Midjourney/ MomJunction Design Team

With the emergence of social media, communication has become relatively easy and comfortable. However, there are a few cons to it. For example, if you have been through a breakup, you may keep asking yourself- should I block my ex?

Most people consider unfollowing or blocking their exes from social media to avoid receiving constant notifications from them, which could lead to frequent mental breakdowns. According to a study published in Clinical Psychological Science, the potential impact of ongoing contact with an ex-partner on emotional recovery after a breakup was examined. It was found that frequent in-person interactions, especially for those without children, could lead to prolonged psychological distress. Cutting contact might help prevent the emotional strain of continued interactions, allowing for healthier healing and moving on (1). On the contrary, some people like to stay peaceful in their vanities, not requiring them to block or unfollow their exes. Explore the emotional and relational impacts of blocking an ex, weighing the pros and cons of this decision from this post. Also, learn how blocking can affect mental health, closure, and future interactions.

Though the choice is personal, you may have constant thoughts such as, is it necessary to block your ex? What messages are sent across to your ex due to this action? If you are perplexed and fogged with such questions, reading this post may help you figure out some solutions.

10 Reasons To Block Your Ex

Here are a few reasons that may compel you to block your ex. However, choose what fits your situation instead of following others blindly.

1. You need to end the curiosity

Do you expose yourself to constant scrolling through their social media feed? Checking if they are dating someone, are they happy, or just their whereabouts will keep you in a vulnerable state. Each time you see a new post, your mind spirals with questions: “Are they happier without me?” or “Who’s that person they’re tagging?” This curiosity keeps pulling you back, making it impossible to focus on your own healing. To stop the madness and to abstain yourself from checking on them, give a break to yourself, end the curiosity, and move ahead in life. Try to keep yourself busy with what you like and love to do. Develop your hobbies, learn something new, and focus on yourself.

Do remember

Stalking your ex online would only cause more pain. Save yourself from self-torture and move on with a mind clear of any attachment.

2. You deserve a closure

When you are emotionally attached to your ex, you can’t get closure. You’ve tried to move on, but every time you see your ex’s posts or messages, it reopens old wounds. Perhaps they send casual texts like, “Hope you’re doing well,” or you see them liking your photos, and it stirs up emotions you thought you had buried. For moving on in life, you require a complete shutdown. Even a single text or comment can harm the determined decision of separation. Find a solution to your problems and let go of the memories. It is advisable not to have an open end to your relationship when you don’t want your paths to intersect. Blocking can help repel unwanted advances and ward off any lingering feelings that may arise from interactions with your ex.

Toku McCree, executive coach and writer, opines that blocking an ex could be a good thing for both parties involved. Sharing his experience, she says, “She didn’t do anything wrong, she didn’t start dating someone else and I’m not mad at her. I blocked her because I love her, and I love myself as well (i).”

3. You want to save yourself from psychological abuse

Your ex knows your weaknesses. They know which heartstrings to pull and might post something on social platforms that could instigate you to write back. You notice that every time your ex messages you, it brings back a flood of anxiety and self-doubt. They send manipulative texts like, “No one else will ever love you like I did,” or, “You’re the reason things fell apart.” These statements make you question your worth and leave you feeling emotionally drained. It could also involve texting you to check if you are ‘fine.’ Don’t fall prey to such tricks. These mind games will only pull you back. Keep reminding yourself why you broke up and block and ignore them completely to move on. Blocking your ex can be an effective way to bar their access to your life and obstruct any attempts at communication.

4. You want a calm and peaceful life

You were so attached to your ex that it is difficult for you to cope with a broken relationship. When you are in a healing phase, give time to yourself. It is essential to extract all the negative feelings you had in your relationship to experience inner peace. A good start is to oust your ex from every phase of life. Blocking can help you exclude them from your life and create a safe space where you can move forward without their presence.

5. Your partner cheated on you

Your loved one cheated on you as they were least bothered about your feelings. How would you deal with infidelity? Block and banish that person from everywhere—the short and straight answer. You might receive messages like:”I’m sorry, I was confused. Can we talk about it?” or “I made a mistake, please don’t end things like this.” These messages can feel like manipulation, making it harder for you to move on. If you love yourself, then moving away from them can make your life a happier place.

Point to consider

Where there is cheating, there cannot be love. Instead of inflicting pain on yourself by keeping a tab on your cheating ex, manifest happiness in your life by blocking their negative energy.

6. You need time to heal the inner bruises

Being in an emotionally abusive relationship can expose you to unhappiness and a disturbed mind. You lose the will to enjoy the perks of a relationship. If you lost your self-respect in the process and were too dependent on your ex, you need to overcome and heal from within. One day, you get a message: “Hey, I miss you. Can we talk?” While you might still have feelings, you realize that every conversation with them brings up old wounds. You’re not ready to face the past just yet. Avoiding them and blocking them from social media can be the right start. It’s important to set boundaries and forbid any attempts from your ex to intrude on your emotional well-being by blocking them.

7. You do not want to take the guilt trips

You had a toxic relationship, and you were a clingy partner. You keep blaming yourself for the breakup, even if it was not your mistake. Do you want to continue being on a roller coaster ride? If no, then hold yourself back and think it through. One message reads: “I can’t believe you’re doing this to me. You know how much I’ve sacrificed for you, and this is how you repay me?” The next day, they text again: “I thought you really cared, but I guess I was wrong. You’re breaking my heart all over again. You know these messages aren’t healthy for you. They pull you back into the past and make you second-guess your decision. You chose separation for a healthier life. Block them and avoid getting tangled in guilt trips.

8. You want to save yourself from coincidental scenarios

Imagine you’re walking through a crowded street, and suddenly, you bump into your ex. Your heart races as you try to avoid awkward small talk or the inevitable emotional flood that follows. You might accidentally like your ex’s picture or post on social media. You might even end up drunk texting your ex and regret it later. To save yourself from the embarrassment, block your ex before it’s too late.

9. You want to avoid comparisons

You may have had the best time when you were in a relationship with your ex. However, the relationship has now ended. Now you are with a new person, and you have new things to explore and embrace. But you tend to compare your current partner with your ex and keep checking their social media handles to get their update. You’re scrolling through social media, and suddenly, you see a post from your ex with their new partner. You feel a pang of jealousy, and your mind starts making comparisons: “They look so happy together. Was I not enough?” The constant comparison to their new relationship is affecting your peace of mind. It would only lead to dissatisfaction. Every person is unique and has different qualities. To move on, block your ex’s number and delete their contacts.

10. You want to do it before your ex does

If you had a bitter end to the relationship, block your ex before they do it. One night, you check your phone and see a message from them, “Hey, just checking in.” The thought crosses your mind—do you wait for them to block you, or take control before it happens? You want your ex and all your mutual friends to know that you were the first to end social communication. It might also save you from embarrassment.

The Emotional Impact Of Blocking An Ex

Blocking an ex can have a significant emotional impact on you, often leading to improved mental health and emotional healing. If you’re struggling with negative emotions like frustration, depression, or social comparison due to social media, blocking your ex could help protect your emotional well-being. As research shows, excessive time spent on social media can harm your mental health and relationships, so setting boundaries, like blocking your ex, might be a necessary step to regain control (2). By cutting off direct contact, you can create a boundary that aids recovery. This separation helps in reducing reminders of the past relationship and minimizes the risk of re-triggering emotional pain.

It sets a clear path for moving forward and letting go. Ultimately, it can be a crucial step toward rebuilding self-esteem, fostering personal growth, and finding peace.

5 Reasons Why Not To Block Your Ex

You have to be persistent when you decide to be in contact with your ex. As time passes, you realize staying in touch with your ex is not that big a deal. Here are some reasons why you should not block your ex:

1. You need time to think

You had a breakup, but you are unsure if you made the right decision. Maybe, you want to go through all the reasons that lead to the end. Alternatively, you want a temporary break from your relationship. In such situations, blocking is not necessary. Instead of rushing into decisions, you text your ex: “Hey, I just need some space right now to clear my head. Let’s talk later when I’ve had more time to think things through.” Being in touch on social media will be harmless, and you will get the time and space to think better.

2. Your relationship ended well

You and your ex mutually decided on a breakup due to different needs, incompatibility, or dissimilar goals. You’ve both moved forward, but you’ve decided to stay in touch, maintaining a respectful friendship. One day, your ex sends you a message: “I know things didn’t work out romantically, but I’m really glad we can still be friends.” When you both are happy to continue the social connection, you may not block them.

3. You have an option available for a patch-up

Do you notice signs indicating your ex still has feelings for you? Do you have feelings for your ex even after the breakup? Are there any chances of your ex coming back? If yes, then breaking all the ties will not help. Blocking your ex might indicate you don’t expect anything more from them. If you’ve recently exchanged a few messages like, “I know we’ve had our differences, but I miss the good times we shared”, this shows there’s a chance to reconnect when both are ready. So, don’t block if you’re expecting a knock on the door.

4. You want to let them know you moved on

Sometimes you want to show you are happy in your life and have moved on. You might want to give your ex a hint that you have started dating someone else, and there is no chance of reconciliation. For instance, you could send a message like, “I’ve been reflecting on things, and I’ve decided to focus on myself moving forward. I wish you the best, and I hope you can respect where I’m at.” In such a scenario, you need not block your ex.

5. You are open to friendship

You don’t want to get back together, but you don’t want to leave them as you shared a good bond. It can be a good idea to continue as friends if your ex wants to be friends with you. One day, your ex reaches out with a simple message: “Hey, I hope you’re doing well. I’ve been thinking about how we used to talk all the time, and I hope we can be friends eventually.” You reply, “I’m doing okay, and I think it would be nice to stay friends when the time feels right.” It will not let you have any burden of a relationship, and you can still enjoy being a part of their life.

Steps To Take Before Blocking Your Ex

Kayleigh Jordan Mahoney from DePaul University, Chicago finds in her research that when someone is highly committed in a relationship, they struggle more with the breakup. They may want to keep in touch with their ex or check their social media, which can make it harder to move on. This prolonged contact can delay emotional healing and increase distress (3). Therefore, taking steps to disconnect, such as blocking your ex, can help accelerate the healing process and provide space for recovery.

Before blocking your ex, consider the following steps to ensure it’s the right choice for your situation.

• Assess your emotions: Ensure it is not a knee-jerk reaction but a thoughtful decision based on your emotional needs.
• Consider consequences: Consider the potential impact on your life and your ex’s life.
• Communicate if possible: Let your ex know you need space before blocking them to avoid misunderstandings.
• Explore alternatives: Consider other ways to distance yourself, such as setting boundaries, before choosing to block.
• Prepare for reactions: Be ready for any emotional responses, including feelings of guilt or regret, and have a plan to manage them.

Blocking Vs. Ignoring: What’s The Difference?

Blocking and ignoring are two different strategies for managing post-breakup interactions, each with its implications and uses.

Blocking involves actively removing someone from your contacts list on social media or communication platforms, preventing them from reaching out to you. This action is definitive and can help create a clear boundary, facilitating emotional healing and reducing the likelihood of unwanted interactions. Blocking is often appropriate when you need a firm separation to move on or when interactions with your ex are harmful or disruptive to your well-being.

Ignoring, on the other hand, means choosing not to respond to messages or attempts at communication from your ex, without actively blocking them. This approach can be less confrontational and allows the other person to reach out if they choose to, but it also keeps the door open for potential contact. Ignoring might be suitable if you want to avoid direct conflict but still maintain some level of possibility for future communication or if you are unsure about completely severing ties.

Infographic: Things To Expect From Your Ex After You Have Blocked Them

You may have your reasons for blocking your ex, but remember that it can be as difficult for them as it is for you. So you can expect either a frustrating or a positive response depending on how they feel after you’ve made your decision. So here are a few ways your ex may behave after you have blocked them.

Illustration: Momjunction Design Team

Unsure of whether you should block your ex? Learn why it’s important to take this step to move on and start healing. Get the advice you need to move forward.

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Donna MurphyBSW, MSW, RSW Cert. Ad.Ed

Donna Murphy is a social worker and operates a private practice in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. In her 15 years of experience, she has seen individuals and couples transform their lives when they begin to make changes within.

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Benidamika holds a masters degree in Counseling Psychology from Assam Don Bosco University and another masters degree in English Literature from North Eastern Hill University. At MomJunction, Benidamika writes on human psychology and relationships.

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