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When partners respect each other, they feel safer being together. Conversely, a lack of respect in a relationship can be suffocating and lead to resentment, depression, anxiety, and self-esteem issues. In this post, we help you identify the telltale signs a man disrespects a woman.
Some say love itself is enough to sustain a relationship. So what could be the recipe for maintaining a romantic relationship till eternity? Trust, communication, honesty, intimacy, and appreciation are key ingredients. However, one more essential constituent often overlooked to maintain a healthy relationship is ‘respect.’
If your man misbehaves with you, belittles you, or makes fun of you, you may want to confirm if your instincts are right about his unhealthy traits. Read on as we help you understand his behavior better.
Key Pointers
- Lack of respect in a relationship can cause resentment, hurt, and undue stress.
- Refusal to be on your side, being too secretive, ignoring your boundaries, and forcing you to change are a few signs that he is disrespectful of you.
- If your man disrespects you, communicating your feelings can help him introspect and work towards making a relationship healthy.
19 Signs A Man Disrespects A Woman
Identifying the signs of disrespect, such as constant belittling or dismissiveness, can be the first step in knowing where you stand in the relationship. Here are some of the common signs a man disrespects a woman.
1. He forces you to change
‘Accept your partner the way they are.’
Loving your partner means accepting who they are. If a man tries to point out flaws in you and urges you to change your behavior, dress style, or even pressurizes you to alter your preferences—he disrespects you. For instance, if you enjoy dressing a certain way but your partner constantly criticizes your clothing, saying, “You should dress more stylishly like my friend’s girlfriend,” and pressures you to change your wardrobe to meet their preferences, such coercion to change yourself can undermine your personal autonomy and be a sign of psychological abuse (1).
2. He ignores your set boundaries
Every individual sets a thin boundary line around and doesn’t want someone, even their partner, to cross it. Ignoring a woman’s boundaries imbues a lack of respect for her. For instance, if you don’t like anyone to check your finances, asking your bank statements or accusing you of spending a lot is disrespectful.
3. He doesn’t give space
Does your man always want you by his side? Does he want to know your whereabouts and keep an eye on who you are talking to or chatting with? If yes, it means he doesn’t trust you. Keeping a tab on you, checking your phone records, or popping up wherever you are echoes disrespect.
4. He behaves like a narcissist
If he keeps himself above you and your relationship and always wants his desires and wishes fulfilled, he is selfish. For example, you plan a weekend outing together, but your partner dismisses your suggestions and insists on going to his favorite spot. When you express disappointment, he says, “My plans are always better than yours anyway.” When a man disregards your likes and needs even after knowing you are hurt, it signals unacceptable narcissistic traits. Therefore, it’s better to take action before he continues disparaging you.
5. He is rude to your loved ones
Your man mocks and insults your family and friends and doesn’t welcome them home. He belittles them now and then. When your parents visit you, your partner makes sarcastic comments about their lifestyle. And when he meets your friends, he says things like, “Why do you even hang out with people like them?” All these suggest that he doesn’t respect you and doesn’t value your relationships.
6. He calls names
How does your man behave during arguments? A respectful person will not scream and doesn’t give you hurtful names. But if he humiliates you and you feel attacked by him, it is unacceptable and a sign of disrespect. Giving names wrapped in sarcasm and humor is also disrespectful. It is the same if he ridicules and shames you and then tries to brush it off saying that it was a joke.
7. He is secretive
A healthy romantic relationship is built on transparency. It is not right if your partner lies to you or keeps things from you. For instance, he receives frequent late-night calls but refuses to share anything about the caller. When you ask, he dismisses you saying, “It’s none of your business.” Making decisions by himself, keeping secrets from you, being secretive on the phone, and not sharing anything are indications of disrespecting your relationship.
8. He makes offensive comments
Does he comment on your appearance, the way you talk, and your career? Does he make fun of you in private and at social gatherings? For instance, at a family gathering, he may make a joke about your weight or your job, saying, “She’s always been bad at cooking,” and laugh it off when you express discomfort. When he doesn’t care about your feelings, demeans and scorns you, and keeps pulling you down, he is disrespecting you.
9. He flirts with others
When a man loves you, he will not cross his (and your) boundaries. Playing around other women, flirting with them, and pushing them reveals he doesn’t love you and has no respect for you and your relationship. Moreover, if he objectifies women, he is not the right match for you. You may not realise it at first, but such behavior can have a deep impact on you. Blogger Linda shares how her husband’s flirting affected her emotionally. She says, “When you are the spouse of a “flirt” it’s easy to understand how that flirting hurts you on the surface. Often in the past Doug would ignore me at a social function or wander off to talk to someone else. It killed my self esteem. I couldn’t understand what was wrong with me. I tried everything to get him to notice and spend more time with me…I knew that Doug would frequently go out to lunch with female coworkers (not until his post did I know they were sometimes “attractive” female coworkers) or he would sit around and shoot the bull. I trusted him and believed it when he said it was a way to drum up business. That was accurate to some extent. But looking back, I believe it was also a way for him to justify what he was doing, rather than how it helped his business. Not until later did I realize how damaging this all was to our marriage and how it led to his emotional affair (i).”
Point to consider10. He doesn’t let you talk
Sharing each other’s opinions is important in a relationship. If your man patronizes you or simply doesn’t listen to you or interrupts when you talk, it shows he is not interested in your views. Both partners should treat each other equally. Otherwise, it seems clear that he doesn’t want to hear you as he doesn’t respect you.
11. He makes you doubt yourself
A disrespectful partner has certain narcissistic tendencies that could make your instincts prove right. For example, if your man degrades you, is rude, and tells you that your career choices are wrong or you don’t cook well, he outright disrespects you. If you don’t stop him, he will continue doing so and might turn into an abusive partner. Such a technique of gaslighting is implemented to ensure you lose self-confidence and he has better control over you. According to a study titled ‘The Sociology of Gaslighting’ published in the American Sociology Association, gaslighting is considered psychological abuse. It says, “Specifically, gaslighting is effective when it is rooted in social inequalities, especially gender and sexuality, and executed in power-laden intimate relationships. When perpetrators mobilize gender-based stereotypes, structural inequalities, and institutional vulnerabilities against victims with whom they are in an intimate relationship, gaslighting becomes not only effective, but devastating (2).”
12. He likes to upset you
When he purposely does things to upset you and doesn’t care to console you, it shows he doesn’t care for you. Besides, he intimidates and undermines you. For instance, your partner may bring up sensitive topics despite knowing how much it upsets you. He may then dismiss your feelings as if it means nothing. Making you feel uncomfortable, angry, and sad makes him feel good. It shows he doesn’t like you, hence disrespects you.
13. He doesn’t apologize
Partners tend to disappoint each other at times, but apologizing or acknowledging your perspective can make everything right. Even after criticizing you or being hurtful to you, if he isn’t sorry for what he has done—it portrays his insensitivity towards you. He may not be the right one for you.
14. He doesn’t offer help
To maintain a long-term relationship, both the partners should equally contribute. If your man is not helping you with chores or other stuff and doesn’t bother you doing everything, he might not be loving you. It shows a lack of respect in a relationship. He is more focused on his needs rather than attending to the needs of the partnership.
Point to consider15. He resorts to the silent treatment
Issues between partners get solved when they communicate their emotions and thoughts. But if your man has been silent to you in a way to manipulate or show his superiority over you, it means he is ignoring your desires and disrespecting you. For instance, when you have an argument in which he says something hurtful to you, he understands how you feel but does not bother apologizing. Instead, he ignores you for days and refuses to discuss the issue. It shows that he does not care about you.
16. He refuses to be on your side
A good partner will stand by your side, come what may. But a person who doesn’t like you would be on the other side. Whenever you need him, you find him away. He may contradict you or not defend you to family members. If he doesn’t support you, his feelings for you are questionable.
17. He gets jealous of you
Sounds unusual? If you are gathering praises from your relatives and friends or moving ahead of him in your career, he gets jealous of you instead of feeling proud. That shows he is insecure of you. When he doesn’t acknowledge your achievements and disregards them, it means he disrespects you.
18. He breaks promises
Failing to keep promises shows a lack of respect, signaling that the person does not value the relationship. A disrespectful individual forgets their responsibilities and comes up with lame excuses. They never do things you’ve asked them to, such as returning calls or buying something. It points to their unreliability and suggests that you aren’t their priority.
19. He humiliates you in public
If your man humiliates you in public, it is a clear sign that he doesn’t respect you. He may belittle you and criticize you in front of your friends, family, or strangers. A supportive partner talks highly of their partner and finds reasons to praise them in front of others. They commend your achievements and discuss indifferences privately. If your partner constantly tries to show you in a bad light and make you look incapable, you should reconsider continuing the relationship with them. Research indicates that “Public humiliation appears to have a substantial impact on victims’ mental health (including symptoms of emotional distress, anxiety, depression; increased stress; posttraumatic stress disorder; suicidal ideation/attempt; Stockholm syndrome, burnout, and being traumatised) (3).”
What To Do If Your Man Disrespects You
Jackie Darby, clinical psychologist from Tennessee, advises, “To set effective boundaries with your partner, communicate your expectations clearly and address issues as they arise to prevent resentment. Prioritizing your safety is essential, especially in abusive relationships, where professional support is crucial. If your partner consistently disregards your boundaries, be prepared to walk away and reassess the relationship.”
If you have experienced most or all the signs mentioned above, then your man has no respect for you. The following are some ways in which you can deal with this tricky situation.
- Identify the signs and acknowledge your feelings: If you have been noticing consistent disrespect for a considerable amount of time, it’s time to trust your intuition and take action. He may have numerous reasons to justify his bad behavior but you must know where to draw the line. Accept reality no matter how painful it may be.
- Have open communication: If his behavior towards you is not good, it is best to communicate your concerns openly with him. Let him know how his behavior affects you. If he promises to change himself, give him the time to do so. If he cries foul and blames you for overthinking, it is time to take matters into your hands.
- Set clear boundaries: Define your non-negotiables and communicate them firmly but respectfully. For example, you can say, “I need us to have open discussions without name-calling or shouting.”
- Seek help from close family and friends: If he does not change, share your problems with trusted family members or friends. They might offer you some emotional support and advice that can help you stay strong and think clearly to resolve your situation in the best possible way.
- Seek professional help: Seek advice from a professional counsellor or relationship expert who can guide you through this difficult situation. If your partner is willing to change but is unsure how to go about it, you may try couples counseling.
- Know when to walk away: When all your attempts at saving your relationship fail, it’s best to walk away from it. Disrespect in any form should not be tolerated no matter who the person is to you. Leaving a toxic relationship is often the healthiest choice you can make for yourself.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. What should I do if I notice signs of a man being disrespectful in the relationship?
If you notice signs of disrespect from a man in your relationship, the most crucial step is to express your feelings. Establish clear boundaries of acceptable and unacceptable behavior. Let the man know which behaviors are concerning and how they affect you. You may also consider seeking support from friends or a professional counselor.
2. How can women set boundaries with men who are being disrespectful?
If a man is disrespectful, a woman should communicate directly with him, saying “NO” whenever you feel uncomfortable. Also, do not hesitate to walk away if necessary. You should always prioritize your safety and well-being and ask for help from trusted individuals if needed.
3. Are there any cultural or societal factors that contribute to men disrespecting women?
Yes, many cultural and societal factors may contribute to men disrespecting women. These factors may include gender inequality in homes and society, toxic masculine culture, and specific viewpoints regarding women. Media and cultural norms often contribute to these behaviors and attitudes in men.
4. Can men disrespect women without realizing it?
Yes, men can disrespect women without realizing it, mainly if they have grown up in normalized sexist and toxic masculine environments. Therefore, teaching your boys about equality and respecting women from childhood is essential.
5. How can men be educated and held accountable for disrespecting women?
Education, awareness, and knowing the consequences of their actions can help men be educated and held accountable for disrespecting women. They should be educated about consent and respectful communication with women.
6. Can disrespectful behavior towards women be changed, or is it a personality trait?
Disrespectful behavior towards women is not a personality trait, but a behavior that is learned during the lifetime, and can be corrected with education and effort.
7. How does the age difference between a man and a woman affect disrespectful behavior?
The age difference between a man and a woman may not affect disrespectful behavior, as age does not determine these behaviors. However, changing these cultural and societal norms in the families may lead to the younger generation respecting females.
8. What are the consequences of a man disrespecting a woman in a relationship?
Disrespecting a woman in a relationship leads to a breakdown of trust, emotional distress, and increased conflict. Such behavior also impacts a man’s social reputation.
It is important to look out for signs a man disrespects a woman because mutual respect in a relationship is non-negotiable and is a key factor that determines the health and longevity of any relationship. And it is important to remember that you deserve respect and should not be forced to beg for it. A disrespectful man can affect a woman’s self-esteem and self-confidence. Such red flags in a relationship are detrimental to the sufferer’s mental health. Hence, a person who does not respect you may not be deserving of your virtues. If you notice any of these signs of disrespect in your relationship, you should talk it out with your partner. In addition, consider getting help from a mutual friend, family member, or marriage counselor.
Infographic: Sure-Shot Indications Of A Man Disrespecting A Woman
There is a fine line between taunting in humor and disrespecting someone. Although harmless humor is fun and occasionally needed in a relationship, a disrespectful nature is a complete no-no. So, explore the infographic below to learn the signs that a man disrespects you and does not deserve your company. Illustration: Momjunction Design Team
Illustration: Clear Signs A Man Disrespects A Woman
Image: Dall·E/MomJunction Design Team
Respect is the foundation of every relationship. However, if you feel disrespected in your relationship, learn a few ways to get your partner to change with this video.
Personal Experience: Source
MomJunction articles include first-hand experiences to provide you with better insights through real-life narratives. Here are the sources of personal accounts referenced in this article.
i. Flirting and Lack of Boundaries;https://www.emotionalaffair.org/flirting-and-lack-of-boundaries/
References
- Emotional and Psychological Abuse.
https://www.womenslaw.org/about-abuse/forms-abuse/emotional-and-psychological-abuse - The Sociology of Gaslighting.
https://www.asanet.org/wp-content/uploads/attach/journals/oct19asrfeature.pdf - Wendy Wen Li et al.; (2024); Prevalence of experiencing public humiliation and its effects on victims’ mental health: A systematic review and meta-analysis.
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/18344909241252325
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Read full bio of Michele Waldron
Dr. Jackey Darby is a licensed psychologist and certified group psychotherapist with three years of experience. She works as a psychologist at American University and owns a practice The Unconscious Shift, a mental health wellness consulting agency. Dr. Darby completed her MA in Counseling Psychology from the Chicago School of Professional Psychology and her PsyD from the American School of Professional Psychology.Dr. Jackey Darby is a licensed psychologist and certified group psychotherapist with three years of experience. She works as a psychologist at American University and owns a practice The Unconscious Shift, a mental health wellness consulting agency. Dr. Darby completed her MA in Counseling Psychology from the Chicago School of Professional Psychology and her PsyD from the American School of Professional Psychology.
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