24 Clear Signs He Is Fighting His Feelings For You

If your male friend has suddenly started to care too much or be overprotective of you, it is one of the signs he is fighting his feelings for you. Things like bringing you flowers or surprising you with gifts for no reason may seem strange to you, but for him, it may be his feelings getting the best of him. He might be wishing to start a lasting romantic relationship with you.

Effective communication is key in navigating such complex feelings, especially when he hesitates to express them. To help you eliminate uncertainty and confusion, we have provided a list of signs that may help you decipher his feelings and empower yourself to communicate your emotions.

In This Article

Why Is He Fighting His Feelings?

Giving in to his feelings and confessing his love can be difficult as he may have several boundaries to cross. Here are some reasons why men hold back their feelings.

  • They may not be sure whether they truly love you or if it is just infatuation.
  • They may have faced rejection in the past and fear the same again. Alternatively, they may not be confident enough to handle rejection.
  • They may not think of themselves as a perfect match for you with respect to their educational, professional, or financial status.
  • They may have had a bad or traumatic experience in their past relationships, which makes it difficult for them to nurture feelings.

24 Signs He Is Fighting His Feelings For You

‘He loves me, he loves me not’—are you trying to get an answer to your thoughts? Here are a few signs that may help you figure out.

1. He feels jealous

If he goes green with envy, even when you casually mention a guy in your office, there is a chance he is harboring some strong feelings for you. Notice his body language—the uneasiness or the feeling of discomfort and insecurity. And when you give your attention to someone else, does he feel distressed? If yes, it is one of the most visible signs he likes you.

2. He hangs on to your every word

When a guy recalls small or mundane things you mentioned at some point, chances are he is serious about you. He respects what you say and can’t help but give a willing ear to every little thing you say. It is a sign he loves you and considers you a priority.

3. He shares intimate details

If he asks you deep, intimate questions that are usually reserved for girlfriends, it shows he cares about you. When his conversations are about love, emotions, and marriage, he probably wants to start a romantic relationship with you.

4. He helps you

He goes that extra mile to help you

Image: IStock

Does he offer to give you a ride, help you lift objects, bring coffee over to your table, and arrange notes for you? If he does all these only for you, it means he likes you and is willing to go that extra mile to help you in every way.

5. He finds excuses to meet you

A man who is head over heels for you will make every excuse to find time to meet you. He hopes to be near you even if he is supposed to be attending calls or meetings. You find him dropping calls and postponing his meetings to hang around with you.

If he puts his important work on hold for you, it means you matter to him the most. It could be the beginning of a love story.

protip_icon Point to consider
If he keeps asking for your opinion in everything he does, there are high chances he is fighting his feelings for you.

6. He ‘drunk dials’ you

They say people are most honest when they are drunk. So, if the guy had told you certain things that he hadn’t when he was sober, he probably wants to become the man of your dreams. Take his ‘drink and dial’ episodes as a sign that he has certain things in his heart that he wishes to convey to you.

7. He buys gifts for you

Showering you with gifts is one of his best strategies to make sure you are happy. So, if there are thoughts and expenses from his side, it could be to take the relationship a little further. If splurging on flowers, chocolates, dinner, surprise online deliveries, and movies doesn’t bother him much, know that he feels for you.

8. He forgives and forgets

He is always the first person to make amends and apologizes. He does this not because it’s him who is at fault, but because he is in love with you and doesn’t want to argue with you. He might not be in a position to confess his love to you, but he gives his best shot to every aspect of a relationship. If he holds back from brawls, arguments, and conflicts and forgives and forgets, it shows he wants you in his life positively.

9. He stares at you

Signs he is fighting his feelings for you, he stares at you

Image: Shutterstock

He can’t keep his eyes off you, but as soon as you stare back, he looks away and becomes self-conscious and nervous. A guy usually looks at a woman keenly when he is interested in her. His sneaking peeks from across the room are clear-cut signs that he has feelings for you.

10. He can’t say ‘no’ to you

A guy who has feelings for you will do everything for you and say ‘yes’ to everything you ask for. Even if it’s a workplace and you ask for help, he won’t utter a ‘no’ and would undertake some of your tasks too. It signifies he doesn’t want to disappoint you with unease, tension, denials, or resistance. Instead , he wants to nurture those early feelings and strengthen the bond.

11. He knows a lot about you

You can tell he has feelings for you if he already knows your address, your birthday, and your favorite food. He has memorized all the particulars from your previous conversation and has taken an active interest in the details of your life. He has been paying great attention to whatever you have said. Don’t you think this has a deeper meaning and connection?

12. He tries to be playful and physically close

The need for physical intimacy is one of the most obvious signs that he is falling for you. He will position himself in such a way that you are next to him in a group, restaurant, college corridor, or shopping mall. After all, physical closeness is a part of any developing relationship.

Small signals such as touching your hand or accidentally hitting your foot or knees underneath the table clearly show what he feels for you. Playfully taking your hands in his hands, leaning over you, or pulling your cheeks clearly signals that he wants to be physically close.

13. He asks questions

If he keeps asking you questions involving your family, friends, career, and plans, it’s a sign that he likes you more than a friend and wants to know you on a deeper level. As you are special to him, he would leave no stone unturned to learn things related to you. If he tries to engage you in deep conversations, you need to understand that he wants to spark a connection.

14. He follows you on social media

Understand his dynamics on social media. Does he like your photos, comment on your status, and retweet your tweets? These are telltale signs that he wants to take it to the next level. The guy wants to play safe by following you on social media. It’s more convenient to like your posts and even comment on your FB rather than praising you in person. There are chances he wants to be a bigger part of your life.

15. He mentions you often

He mentions you often

Image: IStock

For him, you are a one in a million, and he won’t be shy to mention you a million times in any conversation. He respects you, treats you as your best mate, and wants to give you attention because he is locked onto you and wants to utter your name more than anyone else’s. If he mentions your name every time he talks to his buddies, he is probably crushing on you.

16. He asks about your boyfriend

Usually, a guy would hesitate to ask you about your boyfriend or past relationships. But if he asks you directly without any hesitation or awkwardness, he is measuring his chances with the hope of being sure that you have none. The guy wants to be sure that he is all yours.

protip_icon Point to consider
Another sign he is fighting his feelings for you could be when his friends start teasing him when you are around. They might also be dropping hints for you to get a cue!

17. He dresses to impress

If he is seen putting a little more effort into his appearance by dressing up, it’s easy to assume that he wants to date you. He can show it through his fancy cologne or trendy canvas shoes. A new hairdo or a whole new wardrobe is also a great way to draw attention and indicate that he loves you.

18. He gives you names

Nicknames or pet names, such as ‘baby,’ ‘love,’ and ‘honey,’ are reserved for those close to your heart. So, if he has started nicknaming you with any of these cute words, it reveals that he has a strong attraction towards you. These names are often given when you want to reach the ‘second’ or ‘next’ stage of your friendship or relationship. It also indicates that he wants no formality between you and him.

19. He defends you

He might have done nice things for you, but it’s something beyond goodness if he comes to your defense. It has a lot to do with his emotions for you. He doesn’t like it when you are hurt, abused, teased, or laughed at. No wonder he will protect you and stand up for you if you are not being treated right. Making you feel safe and comfortable is a sign of maturity and love.

20. He takes you home

He takes you home

Image: Shutterstock

It’s easy to identify his feelings for you if he invites you to his home. Introducing you to his family is a serious take on a relationship. It’s a sign that he doesn’t want to hang around with you but is looking forward to a lifetime union.

Mat Shaffer, an experienced coach for women, explains that if a boyfriend expresses a desire to introduce his partner to his world, it indicates he has deep feelings for her. He also shares his own experience of having genuine feelings for his girlfriend and introducing her to his family. He recalls, “After my first date with my current girlfriend, I sent a text to my parents. I declared that I wanted to claim this woman and let them know I had an absolutely wonderful date with an incredibly amazing woman (i).”

21. He compliments you

Be it your make-up, outfit, fragrance, or hairstyle, if he compliments you on almost everything, it’s a way of indirectly telling you that he has feelings for you. If there are praises such as ‘You’re beautiful’ and ‘I admire you,’ he has developed a strong interest in you.

22. He doesn’t take back his things

He does not prefer to take back the things you borrowed from him and asks you to keep them to yourself. This generosity comes to him because you have occupied his mind. Refusing to take back the things indirectly speaks volumes about his feelings for you.

23. He lets you win

The guy loves your company and can’t resist the urge to make you happy. He doesn’t let his competitive instincts or pride come in the way of your relationship or friendship, as he wants you to be his life partner. He values your company over anything else under the sun. It is an indirect message for you to read.

24. His friends leave you two alone

His friends leave you two alone

Image: Shutterstock

His friends give excuses to leave you both alone to spend some quality time. It can’t be a coincidence or a stroke of luck every time. He could have designed the scene with the help of his friends. Stepping away from the crowd is an unmistakable sign that he loves you.

Some men prefer conveying their emotions indirectly. They sometimes leave it to you to play the game of “he loves me, he loves me not.” If you notice positive changes in him but still want him to convey his feelings directly, you will have to be patient. You could also consider taking the lead and signaling your feelings.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. What should I do when a guy is fighting his feelings for me?

If there are signs he’s falling in love with you but isn’t expressing them, have an open conversation about your feelings and let him know how his behavior makes you feel. Approach the topic gently and help him recognize his feelings for you without putting pressure on him. Be patient and give him time and space to process the situation.

2. How does a man act when he is falling in love?

When a man is falling in love, his thinking pattern changes. He starts keeping his lover’s needs and interests above his. He notices every small detail about her and accepts her with her flaws. For him, her happiness is everything, so he tries his best not to hurt her. He wants to know everything about her and will leave subtle hints to tell her how he feels.

3. Why do men pull back when they get feelings?

There can be several reasons why men pull back when they get feelings. For instance, some might fear being hurt or rejected, while others may struggle with emotional conflicts, societal expectations, or a fear of vulnerability. Past negative experiences could have also altered their attitudes toward relationships. Additionally, confusion about his own feelings and stress in other aspects of life could also be why a man pulls back when he has feelings for someone.

4. What should I do if he never expresses his feelings?

Sometimes, despite clear signs, a man may never express his feelings due to personal fears or insecurities. In such situations, it’s important to prioritize your own feelings and consider whether pursuing someone so indecisive is worthwhile. You should also focus on your emotional well-being and choose a partner who is willing to express their feelings openly and honestly.

If your male friend suddenly shows interest in you, drunk dials you, or makes up reasons to see you or contact you, these might be signs he is fighting his feelings for you. He may be jealous of his actions when you mention other guys in your life or when going out with other males, and he will be helpful to you in every small or big issue and many other signals. However, do not rush to conclusions, as he might simply be trying to get closer to you. To be sure, allow him to make a move and confess his feelings first.

Infographic: Things To Remember While Helping Him Admit His Feelings

If the feelings are mutual, you might have to take the first step and help him confess. This could be challenging as you must ensure he doesn’t feel that he’s being pushed to the wall. Before you think of ways to make him confess, read this infographic that sheds light on some important points to consider to avoid awkward situations.

signs he is fighting his feelings for you (infographic)

Illustration: Momjunction Design Team

Key Pointers

  • Figure out the difference between a friend and someone who has feelings for you and wants you to reciprocate them.
  • Staring at you, impressing you, and finding excuses to be around you could be signs of him falling for you.

Illustration: Clear Signs He Is Fighting His Feelings For You

signs he is fighting his feelings for you_illustration

Image: Stable Diffusion/MomJunction Design Team


He’s always around, he can’t take his eyes off you, and he’s always trying to make you laugh. Could he be fighting his feelings for you? This video will help you understand if your instincts are right or wrong.

Personal Experience: Source

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Sharon Gilchrest O'Neill is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and family business consultant, who has earlier been a graduate instructor/advisor, an organizational learning consultant, and hospice volunteer. With around eight years of experience working in the private as well as corporate setting, Sharon helps her clients think creatively and build upon their strengths.

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Ratika holds a master's degree in commerce and a post-graduate diploma in communication and journalism from Mumbai University. She has 6 years of experience writing in various fields, such as finance, education, and lifestyle.

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Akshay is an associate editor and former journalist with more than four years of experience. A post graduate in Mass Communication and Journalism, he has strong professional and academic background in the field of content writing and editing.

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Benidamika holds a masters degree in Counseling Psychology from Assam Don Bosco University and another masters degree in English Literature from North Eastern Hill University. At MomJunction, Benidamika writes on human psychology and relationships.

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