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Amidst our busy work life, giving time to our partners or relationships can become difficult. These situations might lead to unforeseen problems, such as your partner finding solace in someone other than you. So what are the signs he is seeing someone else? Although it is normal to notice other women or admire their beauty, signs that he might develop feelings for them might be worrisome. Some patterns might indicate that he is either already seeing someone else or may be interested in them. Recognizing such signs early on can potentially help you avoid emotional pain and encourage you and your partner to be more honest and open with each other. Read on for a list of signs that could help you figure out if he is into someone.
21 Signs He’s Seeing Someone Else
1. He seems to have new commitments for no apparent reason
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Your partner seems to be busy often and does things completely out of the blue. Not only does this cut into the time he spends with you, but it also hints that he’s spending a lot of time outside. It matters if he tells you about what he is doing versus it being a secret.
2. He tries to avoid certain places for outings
One of the strongest cues that may indicate your partner is seeing someone else is when he avoids certain restaurants, concerts, or venues.
This is more likely if the person he is seeing is unaware that your partner is not single and is being deceived. Watch out for behavior like this, especially if it seems to occur often and involves the same places.
Did you know?3. Your outings have become boring
Wining and dining were frequent at the start of your relationship, but now your partner seems less inclined to put any effort into your dates. He insists on staying at home and relaxing with you more often instead of going out at all. This may not necessarily be one of the indications that he might be seeing someone else, but can be a consequence of him getting his social-outing quota fulfilled by others.
4. A certain female “friend” seems to be in his life more often
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One of the biggest signs your boyfriend or husband is having an affair is that you find that he’s meeting a female friend more often than usual, or they’re talking and texting often. This could come out of the blue if they haven’t been close for some time or have been out of touch. He may even insist on you both spending time together to deflect any doubt.
5. He seems interested only in sex
Gone are the days of movie marathons or real dates, and it seems like sex is all he wants from you when you meet. This is not in itself an indication he’s seeing someone else. However, coupled with some other things such as doing it differently in bed or insisting you try different things can indicate that he has another partner.
6. He seems to be drifting further away
Your partner can seem distant for many reasons, including depression, job stress, and family issues. Still, if he’s actively trying to create distance in the relationship, it could mean he’s interested in someone else. A simple thing such as showing no excitement in something you both used to enjoy or saying he wants to “take things slow” can be an indicator of this.
7. He introduces you differently than he used to
A solid indicator that your partner is trying to decouple from you in the presence of the “other woman” is if he introduces you only by your name and avoids calling you his girlfriend openly. Pay attention to other red flags as well, like reluctance on his part to publicly display affection, such as holding hands, avoiding calling you “sweetheart” or “baby.” Keep an eye out as these are most common when the object of his affection, aka the other woman, is actually present during these moments.
8. He avoids discussing your future as a couple
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Some men are notorious for avoiding the where-is-this-relationship-going talk, and this behavior is further intensified when there is another woman in the picture. He will try to avoid or downplay conversations about taking the next step, getting serious, or generally anything that has to do with your future. If you notice these in your partner, ask him upfront to set aside time for a relationship check-in and discuss the reasons behind his actions.
9. He doesn’t want you to mix with his social groups
While it can be perfectly natural to want to have separate friend groups and social lives outside of each other, it can often be a strong indication that he is hiding something.
When he is out with his group and doesn’t want you to come along, there’s a strong chance there are other women present, one or more of whom he may be interested in. He might even refuse to take you to work events or introduce you to his coworkers, which can be one of the signs your husband is cheating on you with a colleague.
Similarly, he will hesitate to meet your friends and let them get to know him, fearing they might have spotted him with some other woman. Not wanting to socialize with your friends is another telltale sign that he is not serious about your relationship.
10. He’s only ever available on his time
We all lead busy lives, but sometimes, you might find that your partner is only ever interested in meeting you or spending time with you when he is free, and rarely when it’s convenient for you. This is usually because he’s devoting the majority of his free time to some other woman (like when you first started dating him). This leaves you with the leftovers of his free time, which may not necessarily align with your schedule.
11. He seems to notice other women more often than usual
We’re all human, and we appreciate attractive people. So this in itself isn’t reason enough for us to make assumptions. But you know your partner better than anyone. And if he seems to be appreciating attractive women more often than usual, then it could be a sign that he’s not attracted to you anymore.
12. He asks you to make changes in your life
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If your partner asks you to make changes in your lifestyle, such as losing weight or dressing a certain way, odds are he’s attracted to women who do those things and want you to do them as well. This by itself doesn’t mean he’s seeing someone else, but taken in conjunction with the points mentioned above, it could well mean you have someone to worry about.
13. His schedule doesn’t make sense
Okay, so he’s got work, then the gym, and then maybe a drink with his friends. But what does he do with all the other hours of free time? If your partner is unwilling to discuss this or his answers seem vague or suspicious, you have every reason to be concerned. After all, he can’t be grocery shopping for an hour three times a week. And how many movies or games will he watch “with the boys” every weekend? You don’t need to know every detail of his schedule, but when these things don’t add up, you have every right to ask.
14. He seems to want to distance himself on social media
If your partner is either seeing someone else or trying to meet other people, he might want to avoid having “couple pictures” on social media. He will try to avoid having you in his profile picture and stories, avoid captions that allow labeling you both as a couple, or not have you on his social media altogether. He might be doing it with the clear intent of not wanting people to know he is in a committed relationship.
Quick tip15. He suddenly develops new habits
If your partner suddenly has uncharacteristic new habits, such as going to the gym at a certain time more often or taking short trips on the weekends “with his friends” more regularly, it may be time to ask some questions. Chances are he’s not alone during these sudden newfound activities, and if he’s not willing to include you in these, it’s a further reason for suspicion.
Drastic and observable changes in his schedule, such as staying late at work often or visiting “family” at odd times, are good indicators that he is hiding something from you.
16. His job is suddenly full of social gatherings
Unless you share a workplace with your partner, you’re unlikely to be invited to work lunches, corporate dinners, seminars, and expos. While these are perfectly normal in any professional’s career, if these seem to be happening more frequently and include work trips and corporate retreats out of town, you might consider questioning him.
17. He becomes defensive when asked about his day or schedule
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Sometimes, you just want to talk about how your day went or why you couldn’t reach your partner for a few hours. This is perfectly natural. What isn’t normal though, is if he gives you evasive, vague answers filled with inconsistencies regarding his whereabouts or reasons for not responding to your call or messages.
Here’s a little trick you can use to see if he is hiding something. Check if he gets defensive about why you’re even asking these questions or acts unusually agitated or aggressive when asked about these.
18. He’s still active on dating sites
While this may seem like an obvious red flag, men will often find a reason to justify this, especially if you both met via a dating app. You will hear excuses such as “Oh I thought I had deleted it” or “I forgot my password; I’ll delete it later” while his dating profile continues to be active.
Even if he is not actively seeing someone else, this is the biggest red flag that he is willing to date someone else should they come along and is still in search mode.
A married mother of three children, who likes to be called Shattered Wife on her blogs, recollected how she discovered her husband’s affair through his mobile phone. She says, “And then I almost collapsed. Because what I saw on the screen next would change my life forever. It was a conversation between him and his ‘affair partner’ (i).”
19. You notice changes in your sex life
Your sex life can be affected by many different factors, such as stress, health, hormones, or just timing. But there are certain clues that stand out when it comes to the possibility of your partner having a sexual relationship with someone else. He may be less inclined to have sex or might be less energetic during sex. He might want to avoid it altogether at times or display other uncharacteristic behaviors that indicate he might be getting his satisfaction elsewhere. Non-verbal communication can also play a role in conveying these signs.
20. He goes on the offensive when questioned
Some people throw the allegations back at you when confronted. If you proactively confront your partner for being with someone else, and he reacts in outrage and accuses you of being unfaithful to him, then chances are you’re right. The false outrage is often a way to mask their shock or embarrassment at getting caught with someone else and their only natural reaction when they can’t lie their way out of a situation. This is especially true when you confront them with concrete evidence.
21. You often see him with someone else
While it’s perfectly natural for him to have a platonic friendship with another woman, if this often occurs alongside the previously listed points, odds are she is the person he is seeing. Being together in itself is not wrong, but if they seem to be touching, holding hands, etc., it’s a major red flag.
This statement can also be true if the husband starts having a new close friend about whom they have not heard before. In a rather dramatic turn of events, an anonymous blogger found out that her husband’s new male friend was related to the woman he was having an affair with. She says, “Over the next 24 hours, we confirmed that yes, hubby’s new best friend is indeed his affair partner’s brother (ii).”
Frequently Asked Questions
1. How can I tell if he is serious about me or just playing?
If he is genuine about your relationship, he will prioritize spending time with you and make a conscious effort to nurture the bond. While he needs space and time to maintain his friendships and interests, if he consistently prioritizes his own needs and desires over yours, it could be a sign that he is not serious about the relationship.
2. Can a guy distance himself if he likes you?
Yes, he may. There are several reasons why he may act distant, such as thinking you are not in his league, being in a committed relationship with someone else, wanting to keep his options open, or wanting you to make the first move.
3. How can I tell if a man is making excuses to avoid spending time with you because he is seeing someone else?
If you are wondering how to tell if someone is lying about cheating, there are some telltale signs. You may notice that a man is making excuses to avoid spending time with you, he indulges in secretive behaviors, cancels dates, and avoids or lies in response to questions about his whereabouts. He may not be paying attention to the significantly smaller details of your life and maybe hideous.
4. How can I protect my heart if I suspect the man I see is not fully committed to me?
If you suspect that your man is not fully committed to you, you should begin by confronting them. Moreover, you may protect your heart by setting boundaries, choosing self-care routines that make you feel good, planning for your independent career and financial future, and connecting with your trusted peers or family regularly for support.
5. What should I do if I suspect infidelity?
If you suspect that your partner is seeing someone else, talk to him about it. Think through your arguments carefully and approach the conversation with calmness and clarity. You may also consider approaching a professional relationship counselor to help you gauge the situation.
If you feel your partner is disinterested in you of late or something doesn’t seem right in the relationship, you should look out for signs he is seeing someone else. With online dating apps and hookup culture, it is easy for people to get attracted to someone other than their partner. Though infidelity is common in today’s world and harder to track, you shouldn’t constantly suspect him of seeing someone else. Remember that trust is the foundation of every long-lasting relationship, and you should not jump to conclusions without properly understanding the situation. Hence, avoid being constantly doubtful and judgemental of his behavior. Instead, clear your apprehensions with the help of the above-listed points before you confront your partner.
It doesn’t mean you should constantly suspect your partner of seeing someone else; after all, trust is the foundation of every solid relationship. But if you feel like something is off in your relationship, awareness is a powerful tool. Doubt and small actions of uncharacteristic behavior by themselves are in no way damning, so we encourage you to confirm your suspicions using the points listed above before confronting your partner.
Infographic: What To Do When He Is Seeing Someone Else?
If you can relate to the signs mentioned above, you might conclude that he is seeing someone else. It is time you figured out ways in which you could handle the situation. We have prepared this infographic with a list of tips to help you with it. Give the following infographic a read and share it with someone facing a similar situation.
Are you perturbed that your man is seeing other women? Check out this video to learn the 5 signs he’s not being loyal. Illustration: Momjunction Design Team
Key Pointers
- Distancing from you and making excuses to avoid spending time with you could be a few signs that he is seeing someone else.
- Look for more such dicey behavioral signs to confirm the situation.
- Get clarity on his intentions instead of assuming things and ruining your life.
Illustration: Subtle Signs He Is Seeing Someone Else
Image: Stable Diffusion/MomJunction Design Team
Are you perturbed your man is seeing other women? Check out this video to learn the 5 signs he’s not being loyal.
Personal Experience: Source
MomJunction articles include first-hand experiences to provide you with better insights through real-life narratives. Here are the sources of personal accounts referenced in this article.
i. Shattered by my husband’s affair-picking up the pieces, one shard at a time;https://shatteredbyaffair.wordpress.com/2014/01/10/discovering-my-husbands-affair-or-d-day/ii. My husband cheater after 12 years;
https://survivinganaffair.wordpress.com/
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