Image: iStock
Marriage is not necessarily meant for everyone. It may not be unusual to see signs you will never get married. People usually reach certain milestones in their lives, including completing education, getting a job, finding a partner, getting married, starting a family, retiring, and enjoying the rest of their retirement lives. But is it mandatory for everyone to follow these milestones? As per a research done by the Pew Research Center, the number of unmarried American adults has increased by 29% since 1990 (1). What if you don’t want to get married? Could the remainder of your life still be happy and productive? Here are some signs that you will never get married. We have listed them after going through multiple trusted websites and research papers. Keep reading to discover what they look like.
Key Pointers
- Marriage is considered one of the most significant milestones in life.
- Being happy with yourself and feeling that you are not yet ready for a lifelong commitment are signs that you might never get married.
- Not wanting complications, avoiding family drama, and several other signs as you scroll down.
31 Signs You Will Never Get Married
Marriage is a life-changing decision, and it is natural to feel unsure about it. It is a preference that should not be forced upon anyone. Here are some signs you don’t want to get married.
1. You don’t understand the purpose of marriage
You have found the love of your life and are living happily with them. Everything is smooth, and you do not see the need for marriage in your life. For you, happiness is all that matters and marriage is an unnecessary complication.
2. You have not seen a happy marriage
You have witnessed failed marriages, so the importance of marriage is lost for you. You feel marriage is not a means to achieve fulfillment in life. Or you have seen someone in a bad marriage, which made you feel that it makes no difference to a couple.
Gal Mux, a blogger, expresses their aversion to marriage, partly influenced by global numbers of failed marriages. Mux writes, “I am not being pessimistic and dooming any marriage I would get into would be a failure. I just feel that statistics can tell us that in our times, marriage — at least in its traditional form is probably not the best way to share a life with someone. There could be other arrangements, such as domestic partnerships or cohabitation agreements, that could be better suited. Because marriages fail so much and I know I wouldn’t have the patience to stick around and attempt to fix one that no longer gives me joy, marriage is a pass for me (i).”
3. You think you can never afford to get married
An engagement or a wedding are both expensive affairs. As per data from Statista Research Department, the average cost of a wedding reception venue in the United States has gone up to $12,800, and this does not include the music band, wedding ring, or photographer (2). In a way, a single-day celebration can cost you the savings of a lifetime. You feel you can use that money for an exotic vacation or to buy a house for yourself.
4. You are happy with yourself
As per a study published in the American Psychological Association’s (APA) Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, the increase in happiness caused by marriage is tiny—approximately one-tenth of one point on an 11-point scale (3). Therefore, if you are happy and enjoy your company, you may not be interested in getting married. Additionally, you may be an introvert who is not interested in companionship.
Did you know?5. You fear commitment
If you have lower levels of agreeableness, openness, and mating performance, there is a high chance of you being single (5). The idea of committing to one person could also scare you or you probably just value your independence.
6. You are unsure of your current partner
You are happy and content with your partner. However, if you haven’t been with them for long or simply want to see how they handle different challenges, you may hesitate to get married. If you are not confident about spending a lifetime with your partner, you may not want to marry.
7. You are not at that stage
You are at the stage of your life where your career takes precedence over everything else. You are ambitious and wish to achieve certain things in your career, such as that next promotion, or a certain financial comfort before settling down. A study by the Pew Research Center states that 22% of US adults are not looking to get married as they are not ready to settle down or are too young (6).
8. You are accustomed to singledom
Over the years, you have developed a way of living that you love and cherish. You are on a path of self-discovery. Getting married would mean changing all that is set and making adjustments for a new person. And this idea does not appeal to you.
Here is what blogger Lukas Rosenstock has to say on not wanting a relationship. He writes “I don’t usually feel lonely, and I find it hard to relate to the feeling of loneliness killing you. I have no problem spending time just with myself. And I have friends, family, and communities around me. I sometimes think about finding or having a partner. Still, it’s not a driving force behind my actions unless it’s in subconscious ways (ii).”
9. You haven’t found love
Marriage is often the next stage after falling in love and dating. But you haven’t reached the first step of love. Perhaps no one has been able to meet your expectations yet. And you find marriage without love meaningless.
10. You don’t want to be answerable
You loathe the fact that being married requires you to be answerable to your spouse. You need to make decisions by consulting them, and you do not want this for yourself.
11. You are not into following traditions
Marriage means a change of name, vows of loyalty, leaving your home, and compromising at times. You do not vibe with these traditional practices or want to conform to gender-stereotyped roles, and hence, are not keen on marriage.
12. You feel overwhelmed being the center of attention
People will be there to see you during your wedding. If you have social anxiety, having a marriage in front of people may not be your thing. Social anxiety can make you worried about social activities and meeting strangers and make it difficult to do things when people are watching you (7). So, it could be one of the reasons for your lack of desire to get married.
13. You do not want children
People usually associate marriage with children. However, raising children is not easy, and it is not for everyone. And since you are not keen on having children, marriage may seem unappealing to you. As per a study by the Pew Research Center, the number of US adults who do not want children has gone up more than ten percent in just six years (8).
14. You have been hurt in the past
You have been in bad relationships in the past that have made you opposed to long-term relationships. Bad experiences in the past have planted the seed of insecurity in you and you fear being stuck in a bad marriage.
Here is what blogger Lina Waled has to say about a negative relationship that affected her. She writes, “I prayed for a relationship, and when I met this one guy, I decided this was going to be him. I was going to love that man. So I put the moves on him. I’m actually pretty embarrassed to be admitting this, but, it worked. We were together for over two years and as much as he put me through emotional roller coasters, I took it, because I was determined to make him my husband. I loved him. And in his weird, twisted, messed up way, he loved me, too. So when he left me — forever this time — I broke (iii).”
15. You are a traveling enthusiast
You work only to explore the world in your free time. If traveling is a priority, the responsibilities associated with marriage may feel like shackles to you. Marriage involves a lot of responsibilities including caring for your spouse, their family, and your kids and building a house.
16. You prefer casual dating
You feel you get bored of a relationship too easily and prefer being in the casual dating game. You like the adventure of dating more than a serious commitment.
Point to consider17. You are unable to trust anyone
As per a study published in Partner Abuse, individuals with anxious attachment styles may experience heightened jealousy and partner surveillance behaviors, and those with avoidant attachment styles might struggle with emotional intimacy, both of which can undermine trust and deter commitment (9). Therefore, if you doubt the intention of people who show romantic interest in you, marriage is probably not something you look forward to.
18. You are afraid your partner will change
You may be in a romantic live-in relationship, but it is true that marriage does change people. For example, you may fear that getting married will make your partner possessive and dominant or take away the spontaneous, carefree nature of the relationship. Hence, you may want to avoid it altogether.
19. You are involved in too many things
Apart from your regular work, you are involved in several other activities that you enjoy doing. You are also working on self-love and self-improvement. Getting married may limit your time for these activities, so you might not be interested in marriage.
20. You fear you might suffer in marriage
There are a ton of marriage jokes available online that many couples relate to. After reading those jokes, you feel marriage entails sacrifices and suffering and hence you are averse to the idea of it.
21. You are in an unstable relationship
You and your partner have been together for a long time but you still lack the stability that you need in a relationship. For instance, you may not have a clear plan for the future or find it difficult to resolve conflicts. Such issues can make you wary of getting hitched.
22. You do not approve of monogamy
A traditional marriage means staying loyal to one partner. If you are not a believer in monogamy, marriage may not lure you unless you find a partner willing to have an open marriage with you.
23. You do not need a partner
You have everything you need in life, and there is no need that a partner can fulfill. Also, you may have extremely high standards that no one has ever been able to match up to. Hence, you do not understand the need for commitment and marriage.
Did you know?24. You fear taking a risk
No matter how much you love your partner, there is no guarantee that your marriage will be successful. And you are averse to taking risks, so marriage becomes a no-no for you.
25. You do not believe in ‘one true love’
You despise romance with a vengeance and steer away from anything that involves love and relationship. Even the idea of ‘true love’ makes you cringe. For you, marriage is unwanted.
26. You feel you may not make a good spouse
When you marry someone, you promise to stay by their side during good and bad times. However, you may not be ready to handle the emotional burden of caring for a partner during times of illness or hardship, which can make you feel like you would make for a bad spouse.
27. You want to avoid the drama
In a marriage, fights and arguments are inevitable and completely normal. But if communication is not your strength and you are afraid of verbal spats, then it is natural that you want to stay away from marriage.
28. You do not want complications in life
When you are dating, you can easily walk out of the relationship with no complications. But in marriage, separation involves legal formalities and expenditure, which you wish to avoid.
29. You have family responsibilities
If you are from a humble background and are responsible for your younger family members or someone with a disability, you might avoid marriage thinking you might not be able to financially or emotionally manage both families.
30. You enjoy having a social life
When you are single, you can have a happening social life with frequent nightouts and solo trips. But after marriage, you may have to spend more time looking after your family, which can make you run away from the concept of marriage.
Trivia31. You are close to your family
One of the reasons you could be avoiding marriage is that you do not wish to change the dynamics of your family as you have a great family that makes you happy and loves you, too.
Possible Benefits Of Not Getting Married
In a world where getting married and leading a conventional life is often seen as the norm, many couples choose not to get married for various reasons.
1. You can prioritize your needs
If you like the freedom of prioritizing your desires and aspirations without the responsibilities and compromises that come with marriage, you may embrace a life without getting married by centering around your personal goals and growth.
2. You can avoid financial complications
Marriage comes with financial responsibilities, including taking care of each other’s finances. If one is not able to manage, the other is required to lend a helping hand. On the other hand, if you do not wish to participate in such a financial arrangement, you may choose not to marry and have complete control over your money.
3. You can live your desired social life
You may have to adjust to your social life at times when you are married. But if you do not want to make compromises, then not getting married can be ideal. Your social choices are entirely yours to make, bringing you the freedom to enjoy life without any constraints.
Coping With Social Norms About Marriage
You may feel the pressure to get married when surrounded by friends and relatives who have tied the knot. However, do not worry, as you are not alone. Marriage is a personal choice, and you don’t have to give in to societal expectations and cultural pressures. Here are some tips for coping with social norms about marriage:
- Focus on communication: Communicate your thoughts and feelings about marriage openly with your family members. Clear and honest communication will help them understand your perspectives.
- Set boundaries: Establish boundaries with family, friends, and society. Ask them to respect your choices and decisions and firmly stick to your boundaries.
- Define your priorities: Have clarity on your own values, priorities, and expectations regarding marriage. Understanding what matters to you personally can help you make the right decisions.
- Seek support: Surround yourself with individuals who respect and support your choices. Seek advice and guidance from friends, family members, or support groups who understand and appreciate your perspectives.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. What should I do if I see signs that I will never get married?
Start by evaluating your feelings on the topic. If you are okay with not getting married, it may not be an issue. However, if you want to get married, take control of the situation and work on factors such as social anxiety, trust issues, or past experiences that could be affecting your ability to form a relationship.
2. Is it normal to never get married?
Yes, it is normal if you never want to get married. While society may raise an eyebrow at this decision, you don’t need to explain your choices or justify your decision to the world. However, because this is a significant life decision, you should put enough thought into it. You may even seek help from your family or close friends.
3. What is someone who never gets married called?
A man who never gets married is called a bachelor, and a woman who never gets married is called a spinster.
4. How common is it to never get married?
The number of people not getting married is on the rise. It may be attributed to recession, pandemic, or other financial issues. Research suggests that about one in four of today’s young adults in the US may never marry if the current marriage trends continue (4) (10) .
5. Is marriage necessary in life?
The benefits of marriage include a sense of stability, security, feelings of love, compassion, and the opportunity for parenting. However, it is not necessary to marry to lead a quality life. As all relationships are not equally rewarding, being unmarried doesn’t mean solitude, depression, or being socially aloof.
6. What are some common misconceptions about people who choose not to get married?
It is a common belief that people who choose to remain unmarried are unhappy and lonely. But this is often untrue. Many intentionally unmarried people are happy, independent, and lead rich social lives. They have great careers, focus on personal growth, and maintain lifelong friendships. Thus, it is essential to challenge the social norms that equate singlehood with failure.
Marriage is a lifelong commitment that everyone may not be prepared for. If you relate to any of these signs that you will never get married, it may be best to convey your intentions and desires to your family. The choice to remain unmarried should not cause shame or worry. It is a personal choice that should be respected by those near and dear to you. Hence, live as you want to without the pressure of society to lead a happy and content life.
Infographic: What To Do If You Never Want To Get Married?
If the above signs accurately portray your feelings, you’ve come to the right place. Don’t let your different take on marriage make you anxious. If you have decided not to get married but are scared about the future, this infographic will help you accept your feelings and live an unapologetic life. Illustration: Momjunction Design Team
Illustration: Surefire Signs You Will Never Get Married
Image: Stable Diffusion/MomJunction Design Team
Personal Experience: Sources
MomJunction articles include first-hand experiences to provide you with better insights through real-life narratives. Here are the sources of personal accounts referenced in this article.
i. 10 reasons I will never get married.https://medium.com/illumination/10-reasons-i-will-never-get-married-8992997c3937
ii. Lukas Rosenstock’s Blog
https://lukasrosenstock.net/2023/04/10/im-single-i.html
iii. I’m A Woman and I Don’t Want Marriage Or Kids
https://medium.com/@linawaled/im-a-woman-and-i-don-t-want-marriage-or-kids-537dc4efb283
References
- Rising Share of U.S. Adults Are Living Without a Spouse or Partner
https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2021/10/05/rising-share-of-u-s-adults-are-living-without-a-spouse-or-partner/ - Average costs for a wedding in the United States as of 2023 by item
https://www.statista.com/statistics/254722/average-costs-for-a-wedding-by-item/ - Are Married People Happier than Unmarried People?
https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2003/03/married-happy?utm_sourc - Chapter 3: Marriage Market for All Unmarried Adults
https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2014/09/24/chapter-3-marriage-market-for-all-unmarried-adults/ - Menelaos Apostolou et al.; (2023); Fear of Relationship Commitment and Singlehood
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/376856436_Fear_of_Relationship_Commitment_and_Singlehood - Chapter 1: Public Views on Marriage
https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2014/09/24/chapter-1-public-views-on-marriage/ - Social anxiety (social phobia)
https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/social-anxiety/ - The Experiences of U.S. Adults Who Don’t Have Children
https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2024/07/25/the-experiences-of-u-s-adults-who-dont-have-children/ - Lindsey M Rodriguez et al.; (2017); The Price of Distrust: Trust Anxious Attachment Jealousy and Partner Abuse
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5380380/?utm_source - The Share of Never-Married Americans Has Reached a New High
https://ifstudies.org/blog/the-share-of-never-married-americans-has-reached-a-new-high#
Community Experiences
Join the conversation and become a part of our nurturing community! Share your stories, experiences, and insights to connect with fellow parents.
Read full bio of Andrea Riley
Read full bio of Siddharth Kesiraju
Read full bio of Shikha Thakur
Read full bio of Benidamika J Latam
