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You are dating a lovely girl but are confused about her feelings. We can clarify her emotions through some common signs she loves you but is scared of her feelings being revealed. Some girls may not be expressive, while a few could be unsure how the relationship would be. Your lady love could have her own reasons for not admitting her emotions. Perhaps, she might be afraid of rejection, which makes her hesitant to express her feelings. Irrespective of the reason, do not force her and give her substantial time to open up. Until then, read our post to figure out if she likes you or not.
Key Pointers
- If she spends time with you but hasn’t confessed her feelings, you may be unsure how she feels.
- Maintaining eye contact for long periods and remembering small details about you could be signs she likes you but is too shy to say so.
- Look for more signs such as mirroring your body language and help her express her feelings.
27 Powerful Signs She Loves You But Is Scared of Her Feelings
She could be someone you just met or have been dating for a while, but you’re unsure whether the girl loves you. Here are some signs that a girl loves you but is scared of her feelings. Go through them and try to figure out the meaning behind her behavior, but remember that just because someone displays these signs does not mean they love you. There could be other reasons as well. So, use your discretion and try to understand her circumstances before drawing any conclusions.
1. She’s nervous around you
If she shows nervousness when speaking to you, this could be one of the telltale signs that a girl loves you. While it’s natural to feel anxious in the presence of someone you love, a girl may fidget in her seat, wiggle her hair, or play with her fingers if she is scared of her feelings.
These anxious behaviors are not just limited to girls. In a study of 280 participants, both males and females reported experiencing a cluster of anxiety-related physiological and behavioral reactions, like giggling, blushing, and difficulty concentrating, when meeting someone they found attractive for the first time. Women also reported using a higher pitch and an unsteady tone of voice (1).
Feeling shy or nervous is natural and nothing to feel embarrassed of. Michelle Al Bitar writes about her fear of commitment and how she overcame it to get into a happy and successful relationship. She says, “The moment the guy started to show signs of long-term affections, a sudden uncontrollable feeling of repulsion took over me. And this is not a case of falling for the bad boy and refusing the nice guy who wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.
“I simply could not imagine changing the course of my life and fully indulging in a lifetime of devotion to this one person. And the upsetting thing was that I’m loyal and would die for the person I love. I spent hours upon hours dreaming of building a life with the love of my life. But when it came down to it, I simply ran away. (i)”
2. She engages you in conversation
She won’t mind devoting more time to you if she likes you. But, more often than not, she will try to keep the conversation going. Perhaps she is trying to learn more about you while being scared of her feelings for you. Her devotion to you is palpable, but her fear of getting hurt prevents her from taking the next step in your relationship.
3. She maintains longer eye contact
One of the telltale signs she loves you but is scared of her feelings is when a girl maintains eye contact with you longer than usual. While simply maintaining eye contact does not immediately indicate romantic attraction, if it is paired with a personal conversation, it may mean she feels less uncertain and more intimately connected to you (2). If she pays close attention to you, it means you pique her interest.
Point to consider4. She’s first to text
If a girl likes you but is nervous or anxious about admitting her feelings to you, she may text you frequently. She may also send you pictures of things she finds amusing. While she is the one who starts the conversation, she is also the one who responds to your texts quickly and barely gives you one-word responses. This again ties into the fact that she wants to keep the conversation going.
5. She ‘likes’ you on social media
If a girl is attracted to you, she may follow your social media updates with zeal. For example, if you post a photo of yourself sipping your favorite beverage or devouring pizza, she is the first person to like and comment on your photos. While simply liking or commenting on your updates is not an indication of a crush, if this keeps happening regularly, it is a sure sign that she has feelings for you.
6. She has open body language
Studies have shown that expansive postures and body language show confidence and openness, and it may cause a person to appear more attractive in romantic settings (3). So, when a girl uses open body language and closes the gap between you as much as possible despite being nervous, it’s a sign that she likes you and wants you to be attracted to her.
7. She smiles at your silly jokes
If a girl smiles or laughs even when you make silly jokes, it means she likes you but is scared to admit it. When she smiles at you, she expresses her excitement about you, a telltale sign that she loves you. She looks at you with awe, but her protectiveness towards her heart makes her hesitant to open up about her feelings.
8. She mirrors your body language
When a person is romantically attracted to another, they may unconsciously, or sometimes, deliberately, mirror their body language. You may notice she mirrors your gestures, way of speaking, or posture. For example, if you lean forward, she may lean forward. If you place your hands on your hips, she might copy your gestures. It is one of the most prominent signs she likes you more than a friend. Her tenderness towards you is evident in the way she looks at you.
9. She remembers even tiny details about you
When she remembers every tiny detail about you, she cares about you. For example, if she recalls details from previous conversations or remembers something you mentioned in passing, you know she loves you but may be scared to reveal her feelings. Say you tell her about your favorite snack one day, and she gets it for you some days later. She has developed a fondness for you over time and wants to do nice things for you, but her anxiety about her feelings is the reason behind her hesitation.
10. She asks personal questions
Another sign that a girl likes you is when she asks you personal questions about your hobbies, dreams, interests, and even your love life. She will not only ask about you, but she will also tell you about her life. It has been seen that people who ask more questions and probe for more information are seen as more responsive and are better liked (4). People like being asked questions about themselves, so she may be asking you questions not only to indicate she is interested in you but is scared to admit it but also to get you to like her.
11. She buys you gifts
If she takes you out on lunch in a fine dining restaurant, buys you a random gift, or gives you cute knick-knacks for no reason, she loves you but is scared to admit it. People only tend to do nice things for people they are either extremely close to or for those they are romantically attracted to. Her infatuation with you is undeniable, but her fear of rejection is making her keep her emotions in check.
12. She tells her friends about you
When a girl likes you but is scared of her feelings, she’s probably told her friends about you, and they treat you differently. So, pay attention to how her friends communicate with you and talk about you in her presence. If they’re teasing her and putting you two together, it means she likes you, and her friends know about her fascination with you.
13. She teases you
Another sign that a girl loves you but is scared to tell you is when she teases you as a way of flirting with you. She may joke around you or tease you about something you said or did. The more ease she feels with you, the more she may engage in playful banter. However, she will never be cruel or hurtful about it.
Quick tip14. She changes her looks
A change in her appearance or overall personality, whether subtle or obvious, indicates that she loves you. For example, you’ll notice that she dresses dapperly and is conscious of her appearance when she meets you. It is even more apparent when she deliberately chooses clothing in colors you like or styles her hair based on your preferences.
15. She finds excuses to touch you
When we like someone, we want to maintain physical closeness to them. Affectionate touch is a universally stable characteristic of human romantic relationships. According to a cross-cultural survey across 37 countries, “Individuals expressing greater love toward their partners used more types of affectionate touch in their romantic relationships (5).”
So, if a girl likes you, chances are, she may touch you quite often and find reasons to do so. For example, if she deliberately brushes up against you or touches your arm or hand while talking, it’s a sure sign she loves you but is scared to admit it.
16. She seeks your advice
If she seeks your opinion and advice on her personal and professional matters, it indicates that she likes you and trusts your opinion. People only open up about their difficulties and struggles to those they explicitly trust, and this includes their closest friends and family members. But if she is coming to you for help and advice, it is a sure indication that she trusts your judgment and adores you but is scared to express it.
17. She compliments you
When a girl likes you but is scared to express her feelings, she may often compliment you to signal her interest. Even the most minor details will not escape her notice. She may show admiration for your inner qualities, talents, or intelligence in addition to your physical appearance. She may say things like, “I thought your answer in class today was well thought-out,” or “Your shirt brings out the color of your eyes.”
18. She encourages you
When a girl encourages you to pursue your dreams and goals, this is one of the signs that she likes you but is scared to express her feelings. Simple acquaintances will either not care about your goals or give you simple words of encouragement now and then. But if a girl likes you, she will do everything she can to assist and support you along the way because she wants you to succeed in all of your endeavors.
19. She introduces you to her family
While she may appear scared to show her true feelings, she may still introduce you to her family and friends. It is a sure sign that she likes you and values your company. By introducing you to her close friends, family, and inner circle of people she holds dear, she shows you respect and acceptance, but her fear of vulnerability makes her hesitant to take the next step.
20. She shows her vulnerable side
While she may be scared of expressing her feelings to you, she exposes her vulnerability to you. She may share her fears and insecurities with you, demonstrating that she trusts you enough to reveal her true self. For instance, she may tell you about her greatest fear or reveal an incident that changed the trajectory of her life.
21. She makes time for you
A girl who likes you but is too shy to express her feelings will make time for you regardless of how busy she is. Even if her work interferes, she will find a way to make time for you. Your presence brings her happiness, but her apprehension about the future is holding her back from fully embracing her feelings.
22. She stands by you
Showing solidarity and support during tough times shows a deep level of care and trust. If a woman likes you, regardless of whether she is ready to admit her feelings, she will always be there to boost your self-esteem and morale during difficult times. She will be there for you in difficult situations and will not abandon you because you are going through hard times in your life.
23. She likes to spend time with you
Wanting to spend quality time together is a sure sign of romantic attraction. If a girl loves you, she will keep you close at all times. She would want to spend time with you during the day, demonstrating that she is looking for more than just a casual encounter. You can see the surprise in her eyes when she sees you, but her shyness might be a sign that she’s struggling to come to terms with her adoration for you.
24. She will act jealous
When she notices another girl around you, she acts strangely. If you want to know if a girl loves you but is scared to express her feelings or if she is hiding her feelings for you, watch if she gets jealous when you are with another woman. But how would you know if she is jealous? Jealousy in women is mostly associated with lowered self-esteem, signs of distress, and attempts to make themselves look more attractive (6). If she shows such signs, she is jealous of the other women or girls around you.
25. She seeks alone time with you
Though spending time with friends is fun, we all want to spend time alone with those we care about. When a girl looks for reasons to see you alone, this is one of the signs she loves you and wants to deepen her connection with you but is scared to admit it.
26. She gets along with your friends
If she talks pleasantly with your friends and makes an effort to know more about you from them, it is a clear sign she likes you more than a friend. When we like someone, we subconsciously want their near and dear ones to approve of us. So, her conscious efforts in wanting to get to know your friends show how much she likes you.
27. She gets offended if you tease her
If she loves you but is scared of her feelings, she will be offended if you tease her by pairing her with another guy. When a girl likes you, she will feel hurt if you think she likes someone else because it indicates you may not like her back at all. She will act offended because she wants you to know that she is into you.
What To Do When You Notice Signs She Loves You But Is Scared
When you’ve observed a woman for a while and are sure that she loves you but is scared of her feelings, it can be a delicate situation to handle. Here are some tips that can help you navigate this scenario.
- Create a comfortable environment: If you are comfortable with her feelings for you, encourage her to communicate openly with you in a non-judgmental and supportive atmosphere. This can help her feel more at ease and open up about her feelings.
- Show patience and understanding: You must understand that her hesitance and fear of showing vulnerability may be rooted in a past traumatic experience. Perhaps she was mocked, ridiculed, or harshly turned down for a previous confession. Give her time and space to process her emotions.
- Express your feelings: If you reciprocate her feelings, that is, if you love her back, you may want to express your emotions to her gently. Once she knows her love is not unrequited, she may gain the confidence to open up.
- Encourage honest communication: Speak to her about your emotions, life situations, relationships, dreams, goals, and struggles. Open up to her and assure her that you will provide a safe space for her to open up about her feelings. This will motivate her to express her love for you when she feels ready.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. Why is she scared to share her feelings with me?
She may have all the love in the world for you, but sometimes fear of rejection and anxiety over how you would react can pull her back from confessing her feelings to you. It could also be that she experienced pain in her past relationships and is scared of going through it all over again.
2. How do I test her feelings for me?
If you want to know if a girl really likes you or is looking for signs she is developing feelings for you, try avoiding her calls and messages for some time. Though this is one of the ways to know how much she cares about you and loves you, stretching it too far and blocking contact for a long time may backfire and harm your friendship with her.
3. What are girls scared of in a relationship?
In relationships, girls may have various concerns and fears. These can include the fear of being cheated on, hesitancy to express emotions due to past emotional wounds, worries about the potential pain that love can bring, apprehension about not being valued or appreciated, unease about losing their independence, and fear of rejection.
4. How do I help my scared girlfriend?
Encourage her to express her fears and concerns and listen attentively without judgment. Validate her feelings and create a calming environment that could make her feel safe and secure. Give her support and reassurance that you will do your best to help her through her fears. Remind her of her strengths to boost her confidence. Be patient and offer her consistent support to engage in self-care.
5. What role do friends play in letting her express her feelings?
Friends often play a significant role in understanding and supporting a woman’s emotional well-being. They can be deeply attuned to her feelings, noticing subtle changes in her mood or behavior that others might overlook. Friends may offer a safe space for her to express emotions she might otherwise suppress. Through their encouragement, she can feel more comfortable opening up, sharing her thoughts, and processing difficult feelings, ultimately fostering a sense of connection and emotional relief.
Confessing one’s feelings is never easy. Some girls may be shy or insecure about expressing their feelings or fear getting rejected. But now that you have this list of “signs she loves you but is scared,” you can use it as a guide to decode her behaviors and gestures. However, remember that some of her gestures may be genuinely friendly ones, so be sure not to misinterpret her actions and words. Instead of jumping to conclusions, take time to understand her and trust your instincts.
Infographic: How To Know If She’s Hiding Her Feelings For You?
If you are confused by her behavior lately, we can help you see her actions and gestures and determine if she likes you. So before you ask her upfront, take a look at a few more subtle signs to be entirely sure that she has feelings for you but could be scared to admit it. Illustration: Momjunction Design Team
Illustration: Signs She Loves You But Is Scared To Express
Image: Stable Diffusion/MomJunction Design Team
Uncover the subtle signals! Watch this eye-opening video about common signs indicating she secretly craves a relationship but battles commitment fears. Decode the mystery of love today!
Personal Experience: Source
MomJunction articles include first-hand experiences to provide you with better insights through real-life narratives. Here are the sources of personal accounts referenced in this article.
i. 7 signs that helped me move past my fear of commitment.https://medium.com/mindfullove/7-signs-that-helped-me-move-past-my-fear-of-commitment-b0fa263396a4
References
- S. M. Hughes et. al.; (2020); Perceived nervous reactions during initial attraction and their potential adaptive value.
https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2020-22490-002 - E. A. J. Croes et. al.; (2020); The role of eye-contact in the development of romantic attraction: Studying interactive uncertainty reduction strategies during speed-dating.
https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2020-14650-001 - Tanya Vacharkulksemsuk et. al.; (2016); Dominant, open nonverbal displays are attractive at zero-acquaintance.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC4839399/?utm_source=chatgpt.com#abstract1 - Karen Huang et. al.; (2017); It Doesn’t Hurt to Ask: Question-Asking Increases Liking.
https://www.hbs.edu/ris/Publication%20Files/Huang%20et%20al%202017_6945bc5e-3b3e-4c0a-addd-254c9e603c60.pdf - Agnieszka Sorokowska et. al.; (2023); Love and affectionate touch toward romantic partners all over the world.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10073073/#Abs1 - Paul E. Mullen et. al.; (2018); Jealousy: A Community Study.
https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/the-british-journal-of-psychiatry/article/abs/jealousy-a-community-study/051381E7FC3F4F1CD074F9A041B28D9D
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