23 Signs Your Girlfriend Is Cheating On You And What To Do

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Trying to figure out how to tell if your girlfriend is cheating is not just tricky but also painful. Your girlfriend holds a special place in your heart. You create and enjoy special moments with her. You also cherish the time spent together and dream of a loving future. However, if you have started noticing changes in her behavior and are worried if she is cheating on you, don’t jump to conclusions with uncertainty. It is still better to learn more about the signs that show your girlfriend is cheating. And, if you are unsure as to what signs to look for, this post will help you. Recognizing these signs can help bring clarity and avoid potential misunderstandings in your relationship. Addressing the issue with care is essential to prevent causing additional emotional tension.

23 Signs Your Girlfriend Is Cheating On You

Infidelity can create a rift among partners and break a relationship. Below are some telltale signs of infidelity, but it’s important to remember that these indicators can also point to other issues, not necessarily cheating. You know your girlfriend more than anyone else, so trust your instincts and approach the situation calmly before making hasty decisions.

Physical Signs

Some signs of cheating are not behavioral but tangible. When many of these signs are seen in conjunction, it can send your alarm bells ringing. Here are some physical signs that may indicate that your girlfriend is cheating.

1. She’s in constant touch with another person

You used to be the reason behind your girlfriend’s addiction to her phone. She used to smile while chatting or talking to you. But now, she is enjoying talking to some other person. If you have noticed it for weeks or months, it could be a red flag indicating an affair to watch out for. However, only being attached to her phone cannot be evidence that your partner is cheating. She may have reconnected with old friends or made new ones. While speaking to others all the time instead of spending quality time with you may be a mistake, it is not proof of infidelity.

2. She has a password to her phone

Has she locked her phone suddenly? If she has been an open person all the while and now locked all her devices, it could be suspicious. However, before you reach any conclusion, talk to her. She could have locked her phone due to privacy concerns or a recent security breach. You can comment on it without sounding accusatory—if she lashes out or diverts from the topic without clarity, she may be unfaithful. But if she tells you the reason, there is no likely reason to worry.

3. She dresses differently

Your girlfriend starts to care about her appearance after years of wearing a baggy t-shirt and jeans, tying a messy bun, and not putting much effort into her looks. She started experimenting with her looks and is trying new outfits, which could raise a suspicion that she could be trying to impress someone other than you. However, this may not always be true. There’s a chance that she could be exploring new fashion trends or improving her self-esteem. Dressing differently can’t be considered a sign of cheating unless it accompanies more drastic changes in behavior.

4. She doesn’t want your company

She starts to spend more time with her friends, ignoring that you are alone. Also, she is not inviting you to any of her parties and insisting you stay at home and play the game. It shows something is wrong with her intentions and you need to be more observant to notice the signs before she betrays you.

Quick tip

Observe her behavior during dinner dates. If she appears more interested in responding to messages on her phone rather than talking to you, it’s a sign that something isn’t right.

5. She’s disinterested in physical intimacy

Is she losing interest in getting intimate with you, or has her desire for getting closer changed? You may check for changes, such as how often she kisses or hugs you. It can help you be sure of her thoughts and check for signs of infidelity. That said, disinterest in physical intimacy can stem from many other reasons, including hormonal changes, mental health issues, stress, and dissatisfaction in the relationship. 

A study revealed that moderate to extreme stress can hamper a couple’s sex life. It also found that women are less affectionate when stressed, meaning that women’s stress has a greater impact on a couple’s physical intimacy than men’s (1).

6. She avoids public display of affection

Your girlfriend used to be happy with you, be it at a restaurant or in the mall. But now, she feels uncomfortable when you hold her hand or hug her in public. It shows she is getting away from you. Her lack of interest in you could be a reason for you to doubt her intentions.

7. She shows through her body language

Closed body language can be a sign of guilt and lie over cheating on their partner. Avoiding eye contact, crossing her arms over her chest, or turning away are some signs you may look for. That said, body language is not always a reliable indicator of a person’s being deceitful or untruthful. Your girlfriend may be tired, stressed, or dealing with some difficulties on a personal or professional front.

8. She doesn’t care for you

In a relationship, partners care for each other. But if your girlfriend stops caring for you, overlooks your caring gestures, or ignores you, it shows something is wrong between you both. However, remember that caring is a two-way street. If she usually cares for you and you don’t reciprocate, she could be pulling away from you emotionally. However, there could be a chance that she is exhausted from dealing with some other aspect of her life.

9. She provides hints of breakup

Is she blaming you for everything? Is she picking up fights for no reason? When your girlfriend indirectly shows that she is not happy in the relationship, it could be a sign that she is not interested in you anymore. Perhaps the unnecessary fights are a ploy to break up with you.

10. She isn’t ready for the wedding

At the beginning of the relationship, you both have agreed on spending life together. However, she changes her plans and postpones the wedding without any strong reason, which means she is an unreliable partner. She might even try to deceive you and tell you she doesn’t want to marry, giving no valid reason.

11. She doesn’t share your plans

When you are in a relationship, you accept that you and your partner are well aware of each other’s plans. But your girlfriend doesn’t let you know about her whereabouts, keeps secrets from you or hides her plans from you. It could hint at something more serious.

Did you know?

According to a study, women are much better at recognizing cheating men from the pack than men are at identifying unfaithful women (3).

12. She doesn’t crave your attention

She complained that you were not paying attention to her, but now she is not bothered even if you don’t call her or ask about her wellbeing. It seems she doesn’t want you to think about her. But just because she’s not craving your attention as much as she used to doesn’t mean she’s cheating. There’s a possibility that she could be focusing more on herself and working on becoming independent. She could also be focusing on a new hobby, not necessarily a new person.

13. She turns off notifications

Your girlfriend’s phone is not buzzing with messages and notifications as she has kept her mobile silent. When you ask her why, she doesn’t give you convincing answers. This can make you raise your eyebrow. Then again, whether an answer is plausible is an entirely subjective view. She could have kept her phone on silent to focus more on work, to create healthier boundaries with technology, or to cut back on her screen time and limit distractions. These are valid reasons for turning off notifications; it does not have to be a sign of infidelity.

14. She doesn’t make eye contact

One of the visible signs your girlfriend is cheating on you is when she is not making eye contact with you. Try to cross-examine her. If she is cheating on you, she would be guilty of her actions. And so, you might find her escaping from your sight. However, instead of using an accusatory tone, try to genuinely inquire about the reason behind her lack of eye contact. She could be facing some discomfort, anxiety, or emotional distress, not being dishonest.

Emotional Signs

You might not always notice the signs of cheating in a tangible form. But, sometimes, you could feel it from your girlfriend’s actions. Here are some of the most significant emotional indicators of infidelity.

15. She gets bored of you

Are you having silent dinners these days? No more planning for vacations as well? If your girlfriend is not reacting and doesn’t show any interest in your relationship, it shows she is bored of you, and has new priorities in life. However, it is also likely that she’s stressed, preoccupied, or feeling stagnant. Instead of jumping to the conclusion that she has a new person in her life, try to bring some excitement back into the relationship. If all fails, it could be a sign she’s checked out from the relationship.

16. She complains about the relationship

When someone cheats, they blame the other person for everything. If your girlfriend blames you, it can be a sign of her guilt. A classic case of projection is seen when the cheating partner accuses the other of infidelity. Research shows that “people tend to project their own level of extradyadic attraction onto their partner, assuming that their partner’s attraction to extradyadic relationships is similar to their attraction (2).” So, if your partner is constantly complaining about the relationship and accusing you of cheating despite you not having been unfaithful, she could very well be cheating on you.

17. She keeps changing her schedule

Is your girlfriend working late often or has little time to spend with you? Have you ever caught her sneaking out of the house? Does she postpone your scheduled dates and show she is always busy? If yes, all these signs show she is avoiding you and could be busy with other interests. That said, if all these signs appear with other markers of infidelity, like picking fights or hinting at breaking up, only then can you consider it. Otherwise, she may simply be telling the truth — her schedule may be affected by work, personal goals, or new responsibilities.

18. She doesn’t want to share with you

In a relationship, partners are emotionally attached and share their dreams, plans, and other stuff. But for a few days or weeks, your girlfriend is not happy to share anything with you. She is isolating you at times too. It shows something else is on her mind, and not you. She is also not as communicative as she once used to be and does not share her thoughts with alacrity anymore.

19. She is flirty with others

Has your girlfriend always been a flirt? If you notice your girlfriend flirting unusually with others in your presence, it could mean she doesn’t respect your feelings or is seeking external validation and attention. On the other hand, it could also be a sign that she has someone else in her life now.

20. She gets mad at you

Whether you are teasing her or loving her, she quickly gets irritated. She might even make a scene and blame you for her bad mood. There could be another interest in her life, so she is leaving you. On the other hand, she could be dealing with significant amounts of stress, anxiety, or frustration due to reasons out of your control. It can help if you sit down and calmly speak with her about it instead of believing that she’s cheating on you.

21. She picks fights with you

Fights can be common in a relationship, but if it has reached an alarming level and sometimes for no reason, it could be a sign of disturbance. While frequent fights may indicate relationship dissatisfaction and deeper issues that need to be addressed, your girlfriend could be playing a tactic on you to escape from the situation. Overall, she may not pay heed to your emotional needs.

22. She criticizes you constantly

You may notice a sudden change in her behavior. The person who wholeheartedly appreciates everything you did for her now criticizes you for everything. Even your small flaws are being pointed out and criticized. She seems constantly dissatisfied with your efforts to please her and finds faults with everything you do. This can be because she has lost interest in you and is always comparing you with her secret lover.

23. She has less patience

She seems to have almost zero tolerance and blasts at you for the silliest reasons. She is acting dismissively and always seems to be frustrated with you. She may also give you frequent ultimatums and threats about ending the relationship if you do not act according to her will. Besides indicating possible infidelity, these signs may also point to stress, burnout, and even unresolved resentment. It would be best to try to understand what is causing her frustration before assuming infidelity.

What To Do If You Think Your Girlfriend Is Cheating?

If you can relate to most of the signs, you should know your girlfriend may be having a clandestine relationship. However, if you are still doubtful, you might wait for some more time and keep observing before taking the next step.

Aaron Marino, a vlogger on YouTube, shares his experience of breaking up with his girlfriend, who cheated on him for five years. He says, “I allowed it to happen because I was unable to take care of myself. I let this go on for five years until I finally understood that this was insane and deserved to be with someone who loved me and appreciated me. It was incredibly hard to break up, but I knew that if I ever wanted to be happy, I needed to end this relationship (i).”

Consider talking to a relationship counselor if you cannot manage your feelings. But if you have confirmed your suspicions, it is better to confront her. If you are confused about your next steps, these tips will help.

1. Stay calm and gather your thoughts.: Don’t make rash or impulsive decisions in anger. Take time to process your emotions before speaking with her.
2. Get the facts straight: Ensure you have solid evidence before confronting her to avoid misunderstandings. Pointing fingers without proof can do more damage than good. 
3. Talk to her openly: Express your feelings honestly and ask her for the truth. Stay calm and listen to what she has to say. If she confesses that she doesn’t love you anymore and wants to break up with you – let it go. Do not force her into a relationship.
4. Decide what you want: Introspect if you wish to work on the relationship or let it go. If your girlfriend feels guilty about her actions, admits she took a wrong step and pleads for a last chance, think about it. Consider the best option for your emotional well-being and listen to your intuitions.
5. Set boundaries: If you work through the betrayal and fix the relationship, discuss what needs to be done and set clear expectations with your partner. If you want to leave, cut contact if you find healing necessary.
6. Lean on support and focus on healing: Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist. It is okay to seek support during such a difficult time. Remember, no matter how painful being cheated on is, you will recover. Engage in hobbies, self-care, and things that bring you joy.

Infographic: Reasons Why Your Girlfriend Might Be Cheating On You

Finding out your girlfriend has been cheating on you can be heart-breaking. However, sometimes the underlying cause behind her behavior may always have been evident, yet you might have ignored it. Check out the infographic as we list the reasons why your girlfriend might be cheating on you.

Illustration: Momjunction Design Team

Illustration: Signs Your Girlfriend Is Cheating On You And What To Do

Image: Dall·E/MomJunction Design Team

Cheating is a complex situation to navigate, whether it is for men or women. Are you convinced your girlfriend is cheating on you? Watch this video to find out.

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Shreshtha DharM.A, M.Phil

Shreshtha Dhar is a licensed Clinical Psychologist with a professional experience of around seven years. Presently, she operates her private practice, Thought Craft, based out of Kolkata. She has special interest in the emotional and behavioral issues of both children and adults.

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