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“Will I be single forever?” is a question many adults ask themselves. But why? We often fear being alone and single for the rest of our lives. This fear comes from personal insecurities that are rooted in societal norms. While growing up, many of us had thoughts about getting married and having a settled family. But over time, changes in our perceptions occur as we face reality and realize that finding a partner is not as easy as it sounds, and maybe we are not yet ready for companionship and prefer remaining unmarried. If these thoughts match yours, read on to learn about the signs that indicate that you are happy being single and would like to stay that way for the time being.
Key Pointers
- If you don’t want to invest your time to impress someone and can take care of yourself, it indicates you like to stay single.
- If you like to preserve your lifestyle, you may wish to be single since compromising is a part of a relationship.
- The one who feels happy when the date goes wrong likes being single rather than in a relationship.
21 Signs You Will Be Single Forever
Being single and unattached is highly underrated. You can be single and independent and still have a fulfilling life. Studies have shown that the average life satisfaction for single people is quite high. Moreover, being voluntarily single leads to more happiness than being involuntarily single (1). Other studies show that some people choose a single life just to exercise their choice to be single (2). But are you one of those who are voluntarily single? Here are some signs you will never get married and that singlehood might be your right path. These signs are taken from personal experiences and online and offline studies.
1. You enjoy your own company
If you are more comfortable with yourself than being with a partner, then a solitary life may be best for you. Likewise, if engaging in unwanted conversations with another person on a daily basis is not enjoyable for you, marriage might not be either and being unpartnered can be a long-term option.
If you feel peaceful when alone, then you’re in great company. Subahu Jain, a writer, expresses contentment in solitude. He shares, “I do not feel a longing for others; if I do not talk, meet, or communicate with others for a very long time, it does not disturb my peace. I am happy alone all the time. If I have my food, internet connection, books, and music, I need not anybody to keep me happy and joyous (i).”
2. You don’t trust people easily
A bitter experience in the past or being suspicious by nature makes you wary of people’s intentions. You are unable to let your guard down even with friends. You may feel singled out every time you interact socially with others. Hence, you feel you are better off enjoying your singleton life than sharing it with anyone else.
3. You have a great life
You have your dream job, a beautiful house, an amazing car, and everything you ever wanted. You spend your spare time with a group of friends or traveling. You are content with your life and do not miss companionship in any way. Why would you mind being a bachelor or a spinster?
4. You like your freedom
Being in a relationship means being answerable to someone. Some people do not relish the idea of being at the beck and call of another person. Instead, if you are single, you enjoy the benefits of being a single man, such as the freedom to live the way you want. You can go for vacations with friends anytime you feel like, keep the house any way you want, and do anything your heart desires. Being single or even a celibate means being your uninhibited self.
5. You are not too keen to date
You have seen bad examples of unhappy couples, making you cautious about entering into relationships. You believe that a relationship eventually breaks, so there is no point in giving it too much importance. You might have seen such instances in your own family or close friends’ families. Often, news announcing the separations of celebrity couples also appears on social media platforms, strengthening your resolve against relationships. Instead, you prefer remaining uninvolved and would rather invest in yourself and your well-being.
Point to consider6. You don’t have the time to impress anyone
To maintain and nurture a relationship, you need to put in time and effort. And you have no interest in making anyone happy but yourself. This is not selfishness but a sort of self-care in which you can be happy with yourself. If you like taking care of yourself and doing stuff that makes you happy, why invest time in anyone else?
7. You want to preserve your lifestyle
Being single allows you to have the entire bed and closet to yourself.
You have your morning and evening routine in place. You lead a contented and healthy life. The entry of another person might disturb the lifestyle you have chosen for yourself. With another person, you will still be able to follow your routine but you will have to make allowances for their routines too. Hence, you are better off being single.
8. You are too busy to date
You are married to your work, and you want nothing to come in between. If all your time is taken up to fulfill your work commitments, it is logical that you do not have the time to invest in the work of a relationship. If you spend 14-hour days regularly at work, you might not even have the mental bandwidth to think about relationships.
9. You like to pursue your interests
Apart from work, you are involved in other activities that keep you busy and happy. Being single allows you to have free time to develop and nurture other interests and skills. You can even travel and explore places as a solo traveler.
10. You feel happy when a date goes wrong
You go on a date because your family and friends insist you meet new people. However, you hope that things do not work out because you are not ready to date yet. You want to be single a little longer or maybe remain single forever.
11. You cannot get over your ex
You had been in a relationship with a wonderful person, but things ended, and now you cannot get over that person. If you are still hung up on your ex despite a considerable time since your breakup, you might prefer being single at least for a while. Pining over an ex is a common reason to remain single. Any new person you meet might not match up to their level.
12. You get bored easily
It is not that you don’t want to fall in love. You fall in love as quickly as you fall out of it. In the past, you have only had short-term relationships because that is how you like it. You might get bored with a single person and often wonder how people can spend their whole lives with a single person. You do not like the idea of being with one person all your life. Until you find ‘the one,’ it’s best to be single.
13. You feel shackled in a relationship
In the past, you may have had a relationship where your partner dominated you. The experience has had a lasting impression on you. Now, you feel that relationships will inevitably tie you down, hence it is better to be alone. Every time a relationship requires you to text, call, and ask for frequent updates, you feel suffocated.
Did you know?14. You are not a social person
To meet someone new, you need to step out of your house and make an effort to introduce yourself to people. But you are not a social person. You prefer spending time at home to socializing with friends and colleagues. This is especially true for introverts who do not like meeting new people and prefer to spend time with their close ones.
15. You fear rejection
You have had your share of crushes and infatuations, but the only thing keeping you from approaching others is low self-confidence. You might feel afraid if you have experienced rejection or seen someone close to you getting rejected. You fear that your advances might be turned down, hence you prefer being single to suffering from the stress of being rejected by a love interest.
16. You want a fairytale romance
You have watched too many romance movies or read romance novels that have made you believe in the ‘perfect romance.’ You believe in meeting your ‘soulmate’ and falling in love instantly. Your high expectations of a partner might keep you single for a long time.
17. You feel the need to be alone to be yourself
In a relationship, one is expected to expose their true self to a partner. But if you are awkward as a person or have self-image issues, then being single may seem more suitable for you. You won’t have any pressure to look or behave in certain ways. Moreover, you will not have to worry about showing vulnerability to another person and inadvertently hurting them.
18. You are not aware of what you want
Before getting into a relationship, you need to understand what you would prefer in a partner and what you are willing to give the relationship. If you are still unsure of what you want and what you can give, you are right about staying single for some time. Before starting a relationship, you must be sure about certain things about what you want in your partner. You may change some factors as you proceed, but it is good to have a few rules.
19. You don’t trust yourself
In the past, you have had some terrible experiences in difficult relationships. You may have been in a relationship with a controlling or toxic person. Now you want to be cautious and protect yourself from the possible ‘wrong’ person. It has you questioning and a bit afraid of committing to another person, hence you prefer being single.
20. You lose yourself in a relationship
Each time you have been in a relationship, you have made your partner the center of your world and lost yourself in the bargain. You are now afraid that you will again lose yourself if you get into a relationship, so you stay away from the dating scene. It is easy to lose yourself in a relationship. When you are too focused on your partner’s happiness, you might neglect your own.
21. You are tired of dating
After trying all kinds of dating apps and meeting every person your friends set you up with, you feel worn out. Dating is not alluring to you anymore. In a way, you have given up hopes for love and have chosen to be single. This state may not last forever, but at least for the time being, you have decided that single life is best.
How To Accept Being Single Forever
If the thought of remaining single and lonely scares you, here are some tips to accept being single and make the most of your life:
- Pursue your favorite hobby or indulge in activities that you like.
- Adopt a pet and see how love enters your life.
- Practice self-care and take time to relax and pamper yourself. Follow a healthy lifestyle with meditation and exercise. Include mindfulness practices to fill your mind with positive thoughts.
- Make frequent travel plans alone or with your friends and family. It need not be expensive trips and can be simple get-togethers, outings, or camping. Studies have shown that your social network is the key to good mental health if you are single (6).
- Indulge in charity activities or volunteer for social causes. It will give you a sense of fulfillment.
- Join workshops, social groups, and clubs that match your interests or a hobby you’re tying to pick up. This will help you make new friends and build lasting connections.
Benefits Of Being Single
Generally, being single is seen as a temporary phase before a relationship. However, many people voluntarily opt for a single life as it has several advantages. Sammy Naicker, a writer and entrepreneur, writes about being settled while single. He says, “I am already “settled.” I do not need to be in a relationship to be settled! I know many people who are in a relationship and far from being “settled.” Being in a relationship does not define a person! It definitely does not define being “settled” in life! Truth be told, I am PROUDLY single. I love that I am currently single. Yes, I was blessed to be in relationships that were amazing, however due to circumstances at that time those relationships ended up not working out. It is all okay! As much as I may have those moments where I miss being in a relationship, I also love the “me” time. Being single does have its benefits (ii).” Here are some of the biggest benefits of being single.
1. Personal growth
You can explore various hobbies and passions. As you are single, you are not answerable to anyone, and you can work on your goals without distractions. These goals may be associated with your mental, physical, and emotional well-being.
Blogger K. Kajal writes about how single life suits her and how happy she is. She says, “The first thing that I always tell myself is to look back and see how much I have grown over these years. Had I not been put through these years of pain; I do not see myself having patience and the perseverance that I have now. Knowing that I have thrived even during the toughest of my times, I believe that “this too shall pass”. I have understood how important it is to love myself and believe in myself because even if no one else does, I do (iii)”
2. Independence
You can make decisions without worrying about other people. For instance, if you wish to quit work and start traveling, you can do so more quickly than you would have been if you had been in a relationship. Moreover, you can get time for yourself to reflect and grow.
3. Career growth
If you are ambitious and wish to have a high-flying career, being single might allow you to achieve greater heights. There are no distractions, such as getting home on time or attending parties with your partner. You can also relocate to other places for better opportunities.
4. Financial control
When you are single, you have complete control over your finances. You can spend your money whichever way you want without consulting anyone or worrying about joint expenses. You can also save and invest your time and use your own strategies.
5. Family and friends time
If you are single, you get more time to spend with your family and friends. You can spend quality time together without worrying about prioritizing your partner. You can also be present whenever your family members need support.
6. Romantic relationships
Even if you are not willing to be in a relationship, you can date freely and spend time with others without guilt. Whether you want to date or enjoy solitude depends entirely on your mood. You can explore casual relationships and be alone without being answerable to anyone.
What To Do If ‘The One’ Comes Along
If you are currently single but want to remain open to a relationship, you can strike a balance between independence and preparation. You can enjoy your freedom while also preparing for a new relationship when the right person comes along.
- See singlehood as a valuable phase instead of a waiting period. If you keep waiting for a relationship, you will not be able to enjoy the benefits of being single. Instead, take the time to grow and become a better version of yourself.
- Work on self-improvement. Developing emotional connections and treating yourself for past wounds will help you create a healthy future. The more you love yourself, the better your future relationships will be.
- Set standards for yourself and your future partner. Expectations tend to be stricter and may lead to heartbreak in the future. However, when you have standards, you can define negotiable and non-negotiable in a relationship and look accordingly.
- Learn to enjoy your own company first. Do not enter into a relationship just because you are lonely. Instead, pursue your hobbies and enjoy your freedom. When you feel comfortable with yourself, you lose the fear of being alone, which is one of the main reasons people rush into relationships.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. Is it possible I’ll be single forever?
Being single forever is a personal choice. Some people can be single and happy for the rest of their lives; these are usually the people who have found self-satisfaction and inner peace with themselves. Others, particularly those who have experienced a traumatized relationship in the past or who have other reasons, such as higher expectations, could be unhappy and lonely with living life alone forever.
2. How long is long enough to be single?
There is no fixed time frame for remaining single. People may be single due to family responsibilities and may consider getting into a relationship later in life. After breaking up from a serious relationship, some people may take much longer to recover; there may also be a reason to remain single due to not meeting the right person.
3. Is it unhealthy to be single?
Being single can be both beneficial and detrimental. Some studies show an increase in physical health issues, such as heart disease, in single people (3). On the other hand, some studies show that single people who have never been married are more likely to be physically active, happier, and healthier than married people (4) (5).
If you cannot help but wonder, “will I be single forever,” we hope this article has helped you recognize the signs that you may not be ready for a committed relationship or to take responsibility for someone else. However, that is not something you need to worry about or stress over. Being single does not mean living a lonesome life. Enjoying your own company is not bad and can be quite beneficial. It can help you understand yourself better and also live a carefree life. Hence, make the choice that suits you the best and embrace it.
Infographic: Staying Single Yet Social
So you are single currently. But does that mean you cut yourself off from the rest of the world and stay in a recluse state? Not at all. You can be pretty popular and friendly despite being single. How? The following infographic contains your answer to that question. We have listed a few ways to stay socially active and companionable, even when single. Give the infographic a read and save it for when you fall short of ideas about what to do. Illustration: Momjunction Design Team
Illustration: Signs You Might Be Single Forever
Image: Stable Diffusion/MomJunction Design Team
Are you often content with your own company? Do you prefer to be alone? Check out this video to find out if you were born to be a loner!
Personal Experience: Sources
MomJunction articles include first-hand experiences to provide you with better insights through real-life narratives. Here are the sources of personal accounts referenced in this article.
i. Is it possible to be single for your entire life?https://medium.com/@subahujain/is-it-possible-to-be-single-for-your-entire-life-69df4426cf2a
ii. I Love Being Single.
https://medium.com/write-a-catalyst/i-love-being-single-3129222cefb8
iii. Yes I am single and still happy.3 tips on how you too can be!
https://medium.com/@kajal3079/how-to-be-a-single-woman-and-happy-a407f91925c4
References
- Jeewon Oh; (2022); Determinants of singlehood satisfaction.
https://d.lib.msu.edu/etd/50435 - Katarzyna Adamczyk; (2016); Voluntary and Involuntary Singlehood and Young Adults’ Mental Health: an Investigation of Mediating Role of Romantic Loneliness.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5696487/ - Marriage Linked to Lower Heart Risks in Study of 3.5+ Million Adults.
https://www.acc.org/about-acc/press-releases/2014/03/28/09/55/alviar-marital-status - Embracing happiness when single.
https://chhs.source.colostate.edu/embracing-happiness-when-single/ - Should Women Stay Single?
https://archive-yaleglobal.yale.edu/content/should-women-stay-single - One Key to Being Happy When You’re Single.
https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/one_key_to_being_happy_when_youre_single
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