Image: Midjourney/ MomJunction Design Team
You always strive to keep your beau happy. But relationships have their ups and downs; some days, you focus on signs of contentment, while other days, you may wonder about the signs you really hurt him. These ups and downs are normal in any relationship, making a relationship unique and special. Nevertheless, when you love your man so much, hurting him is the last thing you want to do.
In this post, we tell you some notable signs you really hurt him. Recognizing these signs can help you both communicate effectively and address underlying issues before they escalate.
15+ Signs You Really Hurt Him
Emotional hurt can be subtle and hard to notice, often showing up as changes in behavior, communication, and emotional reactions. Here are some signs a man is hurt emotionally. Know these signs to work on your relationship and resolve any issues.
1. He doesn’t see you
One of the most obvious signs he is suffering is that he doesn’t see you. He will make the silliest excuses just to avoid meeting you. This is quite normal behavior as we usually avoid meeting people who hurt us.
If he knows your schedule, he will go out of his way to avoid the places you will be present so that there is no chance of an accidental meetup. Even if you ask him to come and meet you, he might make some excuses to deal with his wretched state of mind first.
2. He doesn’t smile at or greet you
Image: IStock
If your partner does not greet you warmly or doesn’t smile at you, it is one of the signs a man is in anguish and is hurt emotionally. If he was a warm person before and now, he doesn’t even want to smile at you, your actions or words could have caused the change.
If you feel he is not returning your affections, intentionally draw his attention by calling him and smiling at him. If he doesn’t respond, you will know for sure.
Quick tip3. He doesn’t talk to you
When someone hurts you, you do not want to talk with them. It is the same for your partner too. You are one of the most important people in his life, and your behavior has left some wounds in him. It is quite obvious he doesn’t want to talk to you.
Try initiating a conversation with your partner. If he seems uninterested in talking with you or makes excuses not to talk with you, understand that he is seriously hurt.
4. He doesn’t acknowledge your presence
If you meet him in the company of friends or coworkers, he is likely to ignore you if you have brought him misery. It means your presence is agonizing for him, and he cannot stand the idea of talking to you. He will bypass you and speak to others.
This action can also be interpreted as his way of subconsciously letting you know how much you hurt him. Your presence is hurting him, and he is overcompensating by being indifferent.
5. He doesn’t respond to your calls or messages
Image: IStock
If you call or message your partner during the weekday, say during office hours, it is expected that he will not respond to them. But if he doesn’t respond to them even after office hours, it might be a sign that you have hurt him pretty badly and he is in distress.
If he is consistently not responding to your calls and messages for a week, it means he is no longer interested in having a conversation with you. This withdrawal may come from feelings of rejection, confusion, or a need for space to process emotions. Recognizing these feelings can help you respond with empathy.
6. He blocks you on social media
This is one of the more contemporary signs you really hurt him. Blocking on social media is a way of showing someone you are not interested in their life anymore. If your partner unfriends, unfollows, or blocks you on any of the social media platforms, it is a warning.
If he doesn’t want you on his social media (and doesn’t want to check yours in turn), it reflects his heartache and that he wishes to completely shut you out of his world.
7. He constantly talks about you on social media
If he has blocked you on social media, you may be unable to see his posts. But soon, you learn from a common friend who is following him that he has been of late posting melancholic content, especially about his broken heart and feelings.
If you have parted on not-so-friendly terms, there is a high chance of him posting angry things about you. He takes to social media to pour out his frustrations and sadness. These are all indicators that he is in a state of torment, and now he is venting out through social media posts.
8. He starts getting into rebound relationships
Image: IStock
If he keeps getting into rebound relationships, it is one of the signs he is hurting after the breakup. This is a way for him to show you he is in control of his life when, in fact, he is hurt by you. By getting into rebound relationships, he is trying to show you (as well as himself) that he is still powerful. He will flit from one relationship to another, trying to establish this fact.
He might not be level-headed while looking for a partner, but this is his way of picking up his self-esteem.
9. He stops dating altogether
This is the other extreme of getting into rebound relationships – he stops dating. This means you have hurt him so badly that he doesn’t want to experience the same at another woman’s hands again. He starts withdrawing within himself out of despair and keeps away from all relationships.
After a breakup, there is a certain amount of cool-down time when one does not get into a new relationship. But if a significant amount of time has passed without your partner dating someone, it might mean that your hurt put him off relationships altogether.
10. He starts eating or drinking too much
Image: IStock
People who are emotionally hurt often turn to food and drinks to cope. Food becomes a crutch for them to drown their grief in. If your partner has started binge-eating, especially junk food, it is his psychological need to drown his pang of sorrows in food.
Another indicator of a hurt partner is that he is drinking excessively out of loneliness. If he didn’t drink more than a couple of beers before, this is a sure sign that you have hurt him badly and he wants to remain in isolation.
Point to consider11. He hits the gym with a vengeance
If your partner was a couch potato when you were together but is now a fitness freak, it might be because you have hurt his ego and self-esteem so much that he needs to build it up by exercising.
It is not due to interest that he has become a gym fanatic. He needs the surge of adrenaline to feel good about himself and rebuild his broken heart and deal with his emotional injury.
The act of hitting the gym does not always indicate the need for an adrenaline boost. Blogger Harsh Y. was heartbroken after a breakup. He writes, “I found my channel of expression by working out in the gym. After my last serious breakup, I lost around 15 kg of weight. I completely neglected myself and indulged myself in acts that further affected my health adversely… I joined a local gym that finally helped me bring my diet and routine on track… I changed my lifestyle for the better not by letting my anger to rule, but by diverting it on the productive channel. The point is not to control aggression, but to channel that aggression toward the areas in which it is required (i).”
12. He gets angry with you when you talk
Every time you attempt to have a civil conversation with him, he gets angry. You cannot even have a short passing word with him without him blowing up. This shows how much you have hurt him. He is hurting a lot, and he cannot simply handle contact without losing control of his temper.
It could be that he is simply in discomfort or irritated with you all the time. If you fought with each other, he might find your presence annoying.
13. He doesn’t help you
Image: IStock
This is another way you know that you hurt your partner badly. He doesn’t want to help you. In fact, there might be times when he doesn’t even want to listen to your problem. He shows displeasure and refuses to listen and be a part of your life, even for a short time.
A person who is on good terms will help you, and if they cannot help, they will point you to the people who can help you. But a hurt partner is unlikely to do any of these.
14. He closes off
A lot of emotions can be conveyed unconsciously through your body language. If your actions or words really hurt your partner, his body language will be closed. He will keep his hands folded close to his body. His feet will move away from your direction to show his unhappiness.
There are other indicators too. He will lean away from you when talking to you. He also doesn’t maintain eye contact.
15. He becomes passive-aggressive
Passive-aggressive behavior is one of the worst ways to show your anger toward a person. It is not healthy for people in a relationship. He often ends up insulting you in a manner that is both hurtful and snide. It shows how hurt he is and that he can go to any level to hurt you back.
If your partner has started making passive-aggressive digs at you, it might be time for both of you to seriously think about your relationship.
16. He tries to get revenge
If he seeks revenge, it could mean he is deeply hurt and wants to inflict pain or suffering on you. It suggests emotional distress and a need to regain a sense of control or justice in response to perceived wrongdoing. However, it is important to note that seeking revenge is not a healthy way to cope with hurt. More constructive approaches should be considered to address and resolve conflicts.
17. He becomes emotionally distant
He may pull away from you and become distant because you have hurt him badly. Keeping a distance from you might be his way of coping with the pain and a way to protect himself from more hurt. He may want space to deal effectively with negative feelings. It’s important to communicate openly in these situations to quell misunderstandings and resolve differences.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. Can a man hide the fact that he’s hurt, even if I think I know him well?
Sometimes men find it difficult to express their feelings. However, they may be unable to hide it for long as it eventually starts showing in their behavior. And if you know a man well, you will notice the change in his behavior and know something is wrong.
2. Is it possible to repair a relationship with a man after I deeply hurt him?
If a man is forgiving and loves you deeply, he might forgive you after you assure him to mend your ways and promise not to repeat them. However, if your hurt agonizes him beyond repair, he may put no effort into fixing things, which is a sign that your relationship is over.
3. What are some things I should avoid doing if I have hurt a man’s feelings?
Avoid bringing up the topic repeatedly once you have apologized to him. If you have assured him that you will change your behavior, stick to your words. If he is unwilling to talk, avoid bugging him for a conversation. Give him time to settle his feelings before trying to talk to him.
4. What should I do if I recognize these signs?
If you realize you’ve hurt his feelings, acknowledge it and sincerely apologize. Give him space to express his emotions while you listen patiently. Take responsibility for your actions without being defensive, and communicate calmly to resolve the issue. Reassure him that his feelings matter to you and that you want to improve the relationship.
There are many reasons why a relationship may spiral downward, but it is necessary to look out for these signs if you want to fix the broken relationship or even if you wish to part on a good note. These signs can help you determine the extent of his agony and pain and find ways to make up to him. Sometimes, apologizing can do the trick, but you have to give your partner some time and space to heal. You can help your partner heal and move on with time, love, and patience.
Infographic: How To Talk And Apologize To A Hurt Partner?
Although unintentional, we often say/do things during heated conversations that can hurt our partner. While what happened can’t be undone, you can genuinely apologize to your partner and ease their hurt. Unsure of the right approach? Our infographic provides practical tips that can help you start a conversation with your partner and apologize to them appropriately. Illustration: Momjunction Design Team
Key Pointers
- Relationships can have their share of ups and downs, but knowing when to spot a low point is vital.
- Some of the notable signs that you hurt him include avoiding you, ignoring your messages, blocking you on social media, and passive-aggressive interaction.
- Addressing the cause behind these signs with patience can help mend the relationship or even help you part ways on good terms.
Illustration: Notable Signs You Really Hurt Him And What To Do
Image: Dalle E/MomJunction Design Team
While arguments and conflicts are common in every relationship, knowing when to draw the line is essential. Here are some signs to see if you have hurt your man’s feelings.
Personal Experience: Source
MomJunction articles include first-hand experiences to provide you with better insights through real-life narratives. Here are the sources of personal accounts referenced in this article.
i. How I overcame anger after a breakup.https://medium.com/the-ascent/how-i-overcame-anger-after-a-breakup-3ec5923cd974
Community Experiences
Join the conversation and become a part of our nurturing community! Share your stories, experiences, and insights to connect with fellow parents.
Read full bio of Ellen J.W. Gigliotti
Read full bio of Ratika Pai
Read full bio of Siddharth Kesiraju
Read full bio of Benidamika J Latam
