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What are the signs your ex is never coming back? In many cases, people come back after breaking up and being apart. It usually happens because they realize how important they are to each other and that they cannot be without them. However, you cannot always be waiting for them to realize that, right? Breakups can take an emotional toll. Research shows they are often associated with heightened psychological distress and a noticeable dip in life satisfaction. Therefore, it is vital to recognize when one should move on (1). Keep reading as we outline signs that will help you avoid holding onto false hope about your ex returning.
Key Pointers
- Your ex may not be coming back if they show signs of complete avoidance.
- Blocking you on social media platforms, enjoying life without you, and not showing interest in your current relationship are a few signs.
- Focus on yourself and move on instead of holding on to them.
20 Signs Your Ex Is Never Coming Back
Identifying these signs can be an important step in the process of healing and moving forward.
Image: Dall.E/MJ Design Team
1. There’s no communication
While some people try to reduce the frequency of communication, there are a few who just turn off everything the moment you call for a break-up. They might change their number, block you on all social media platforms, or block your calls and messages.
They make every possible effort to not be available for you. If this happens for quite some time, it’s a clear sign that they are not interested in contacting you or being contacted by you. So, drop the idea of an epic reunion with your ex.
2. Your conversations have gone dull
If you both happen to meet, and you notice there is a world of difference between how you used to communicate and how you’re talking to each other now, they may have moved on. When conversing, you think of what to speak and how to react as your talks lack substance, and you don’t feel comfortable as you were earlier.
You observe the same pattern even in your text messages and telephonic conversations. And most of the time, there might be casual replies or no replies even after they have viewed the messages. These are hardcore signs of them moving on with life.
3. You have been friend-zoned
A gentle way to exit from a relationship is to become friends without any hard feelings for each other. If you both have agreed on similar lines, it is a positive sign that they could return.
However, if you find your ex completely indifferent, such as treating you like all other friends, not being romantic or flirty, and not mentioning anything about the past while still respecting you, then they have done a decent job at detaching themselves from the relationship emotionally and are moving on in the healthiest way.
4. Your ex is enjoying life after separation
Image: IStock
The initial days of a breakup can be challenging for anyone. Feeling sad, angry, confused, and frustrated during that phase is normal (2). However, if you find your ex celebrating your breakup and planning trips and vacations soon after, it’s a clear sign that they are moving on to better things and have no plans to return to you.
5. They have blocked you on all the social media platform
Research shows that after a breakup, many people block their ex-partner on social media to cut off communication and avoid reminders of the relationship, helping them cope with emotional pain (3). While not communicating is one way of conveying that your ex is not interested in further interaction with you. Blocking you on WhatsApp, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, and all other social media platforms is a straightforward way of indicating that they are moving away from you and are not interested in staying in touch. They are least bothered about what’s happening in your life and are not willing to share what’s going on in their lives.
Point to consider6. They speak ill about you
This is one of the worst things that someone could do after a break-up. And if they do this, it’s not worth waiting for them to come back. People with negative personalities tend to bad-mouth you so that they can put the entire blame of the break-up on you.
And if they bad-mouth you before your mutual friends and family, it’s a serious sign that they want to hurt you and don’t want you to come back. It is also a sign that it is time you start moving on with your life.
7. They return all your stuff
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This sounds like a familiar scene from Hollywood movies. But, in reality, there are fewer chances that your ex might demand their stuff back. In case they ask for all the things that they have gifted you or their personal stuff that they might have forgotten at your place, take it as a clear sign that they are moving on to a better future.
There are equal chances of them returning your things too. If this happens, they are seriously making an effort to completely wipe you off, not just from their lives, but also their memories. Also, it is a good way to get closure in the relationship.
8. They avoid your family and friends
When you are in a relationship, it’s quite common to meet each other’s family and friends. Over time, you might have developed friendly relations with them. Even after your breakup, there is no harm in continuing that warmth with them.
But if your ex tries to avoid your acquaintances, it shows that they do not want to be in touch with anyone who reminds them about you. They do not want to put themselves in a tricky situation wherein you might think they are still interested in you. It’s also a way to avoid people, say your mutual friends, who try to get you both back together or just ask a lot of questions about the break-up. In such a situation, letting go is the best thing you can do to maintain peace in your life.
9. There are no signs of jealousy
If someone has feelings for you, it’s natural for them to become a little jealous when you hang out with others.
If your ex shows no signs of jealousy even after seeing you with another person, it clearly indicates that they do not care about what’s happening in your life. Whether you’re hanging out with someone, dating someone, or getting into a serious relationship, it doesn’t matter to them.
10. They advise you to move-on
If you have been friend-zoned by your ex or if you both are in touch with each other, you might receive some advice, such as “It’s better you move on,” “it’s not worth being in the past,” “you deserve better,” “I’m not right for you,” and so on.
If they use any of these lines, respect it and don’t waste any time on them or have another heartbreak due to false hopes. Remember, it’s time you try moving on to a better you.
11. Your ex is dating someone for quite some time
Image: IStock
This is one more sure indicator that your ex will not come back to you. You might think they are in a rebound relationship, but if they have been serious with the other person for quite some time, you need to respect their space and decision of moving on to a better life.
12. They do not care if you’re seeing someone
You’re not interested in starting a new relationship anytime soon, but someone else is interested in you, and you don’t want to say a straight “No.” You both might be in the starting phase of knowing each other.
If your ex gets to learn about it through some mutual contacts and is very much okay about it, well, you have got your answers. They are not at all interested in what’s happening in your life nor want to disturb you when you’re moving forward.
13. They move out of the city to avoid you
You both might have lived together for quite some time. And in your entire journey, never have they discussed their plans to move out of the city. But, if post your break-up, they have moved to a new location or an entirely new city, they might be trying to get away from you by moving on to a better place.
14. Your ex is getting married
This needs no further explanation. But, yes, there is something you should keep in mind. If you hear the news of your ex getting engaged or married, and if you still wish for them to come back and keep wondering, ‘Does my ex miss me?’ you’re just making a fool of yourself.
15. You have a strong gut feeling
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Irrespective of all the information you’re getting about your ex or the developments happening in their life, you might have a strong gut feeling that tells you they are not coming back. If you feel it, follow your instincts and start moving on with your own life. Who knows, something better might be waiting for you.
16. Your mutual friends ask you to move on
Mutual friends know you both, and they will be in touch with both of you as your break-up may not make much of a difference to their relationship with you and your ex.
If you have one such mutual friend who is aware of your ex’s side of the story and the latest developments in their life, and they advise you to forget about the past and not think about your ex coming back, you can take their word and start moving on with your own path.
17. They have changed drastically
You both might be in touch with each other even after the breakup. If you observe a serious change in your ex’s personality or attitude towards you, it’s a strong sign that they are deliberately making an effort to let you know that you’re no longer important in their life.
An anonymous blogger from New York, whose 9-year-long relationship ended, speaks about a sudden change in the attitude of her ex before he broke up permanently. She says, ”I woke up, grabbed a coffee and on the way out the door I bent down to kiss my love goodbye and in addition to saying ‘have a good day’, also said: ‘Things seem distant with us, I want to make an effort to get closer again.’ The response of ‘What’s the point’ was so not what I expected back (i).”
Don’t ask for reasons for the strange behavior. Understand and let them be free from you instead of being behind them.
18. They try to make you jealous
This might sound silly, but there are some people who do this so that their ex would understand how happy they are without them.
They might use a social media platform where you both are connected to post recent happy pictures and developments in their lives to make you understand that they are excited about their post-break-up life. Despite knowing that those things would hurt you, if they do it purposefully, don’t fancy them coming back to you. Instead ditch their memories and start moving on to better days.
19. They’re happy without you
If your friends or observations reveal that your ex is thriving and content in a new relationship, there’s little reason to anticipate their return. It’s crucial to be genuinely happy for them and focus on finding your happiness.
20. Your relationship was toxic
If your past relationship was marked by unhappiness and toxicity, getting back together might not lead to genuine happiness. It’s common to romanticize the past, but recognizing the reality of the situation is essential. If the relationship wasn’t working, it’s possible your ex realized it, and it’s important for you to acknowledge it, too. Letting go can be challenging, but sometimes, it’s the most beneficial and healthiest choice for everyone involved.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. Why does my ex never come back?
Your ex doesn’t come back because you may have hurt them badly. They don’t see a future with you and are over you already. They might also be convinced that the breakup was necessary and have no reason to get back together with you.
2. What to do if my ex never comes back?
Focus on your life and work on yourself. Don’t allow anyone to mess with your life for a long time. Indulge in things that make you happy, explore new things, travel, follow your passion, take a yoga class, read your favorite book, or pursue new hobbies (3). Give yourself time to heal and use the opportunity to reconnect with your friends and family.
3. How can I differentiate between a temporary and permanent breakup?
Some signs to look out for are when you both spend time apart for individual growth, resolve past issues, apologize to each other, and stay in touch; these could be the signs your ex will eventually come back, and that your breakup is temporary. However, if you both have no contact whatsoever and have moved on or are dating someone else, it probably signals the breakup is permanent.
4. What are some common mistakes that people make when trying to win back an ex who is not interested?
People often tend to lose their self-respect, self-worth and take desperate measures to win back an ex who is not interested. Taking these steps tends to do more harm than good and eventually leads to causing more damage to a relationship.
5. Can therapy or counseling help cope with the pain of a breakup and move on from an ex who is not returning?
Yes, therapy can help you cope with the emotions and grief you may be experiencing. An expert therapist shall help you comprehend your feelings and ways to deal with them positively and healthily.
6. Should I stay friends with my ex if I suspect they are never coming back?
While some people choose to maintain an amicable relationship post-breakup, this is not possible in most cases, especially when you both have lost contact and are not interested in each other. Either way, you can move on in life and meet new people in the future and not stay friends with your ex if you both are not willing to.
7. How do I know if I should move on?
Figuring out when to move on depends on how you feel emotionally and mentally. If you’re always feeling tired, unhappy, or stuck in the past, it might be time to rethink things. If trying to fix the situation isn’t helping and it’s stopping you from growing, moving on could be the best choice. Trust your gut feelings, and focus on what makes you feel peaceful and happy in the long run.
Holding on to your memories with your ex and hoping they will come back can be more painful than breaking up. Hence, understanding these signs that your ex is never coming back could help you with moving on for better opportunities in life. Also, remember that patching up after parting ways is feasible only when both the ex-partners feel the need to stay together. If not, it is best to move on with life than think about them and ruin your present. Further, try to keep yourself engaged, pursue a hobby you love, go out, meet new people, and invest your time in things that make you happy.
Infographics: Actions That Prevent Healing After Your Ex Doesn’t Return
The lingering hope may not allow you to accept that your ex is never coming back. However, this may cause severe emotional damage, and you should avoid activities that do not allow you to let go of the person or their memories. The infographic below explains what you should not do if you wish to recover and heal. Illustration: Momjunction Design Team
Wondering if your ex will ever return? Uncover the 12 unmistakable signs that indicate they won’t. From their actions to their attitude, this eye-opening video reveals the truth you need to hear.
Personal Experience: Source
MomJunction articles include first-hand experiences to provide you with better insights through real-life narratives. Here are the sources of personal accounts referenced in this article.
i. One Year On…https://thingstodoin2013.blogspot.com/2013/11/one-year-on.html
References
- Breaking Up is Hard to do: The Impact of Unmarried Relationship Dissolution on Mental Health and Life Satisfaction
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3115386/#:~:text=Experiencing%20a%20break%2Dup%20wassatisfaction%20following%20a%20break%2Dup. - Breakups on Social Media: Social Behaviors and Dilemmas
https://guof.people.clemson.edu/papers/breakups.pdf - Surviving A Relationship Break-Up – Top 20 Strategies
https://www.mcgill.ca/counselling/files/counselling/surviving_a_break-up_-_20_strategies_0.pdf
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