23 Most Obvious Signs Your Friend Doesn't Respect You

A girl with her friends who don't respect her

Image: iStock

Friends are the family you choose for yourself. However, if you see signs your friend doesn’t respect you, you have to rethink their friendship. Good friends will stand by you in ups and downs and support you at every step of your life. They moreover celebrate your success and always push you for the best. A good friend will have your back when you go through hard times. However, not all friends are genuine and value your friendship. Some are tricky and continue friendships because they need something from you.

Here, we have listed several clear clues and signs of disrespectful friends to help you identify toxic friends and keep them at bay.

In This Article

Key Pointers

  • Manipulative friends rejoice in your failures and do not support you.
  • They are jealous of your success and knowingly upset you.
  • When a friend disrespects you, you find them dishonest, egoistic and controlling you.

23 Clear Signs Your Friend Doesn’t Respect You

1. They belittle you in front of others

Some people love to make fun of others and embarrass them in public to grab attention and make themselves look good. If your friend has been making belittling comments towards you in front of others, it is a clear indication that they lack respect for you. Such people don’t deserve your friendship, and you should cut them off from your life.

2. They lie to you

Friend lying shows disrespect

Image: IStock

A true friend will never lie to you. So if your friend has been lying to you, it means they are not honest with you and don’t respect you. Someone who lies to a friend doesn’t care about their friendship and only thinks about them. So it’s better to keep them away from your life.

3. They talk behind your back

If you discover through disclosure from another source that your friend has been making deprecating remarks about you behind your back, you should ask yourself why you are still friends in the first place. People who don’t miss a chance to talk ill of you and defame you in your absence are a threat to your well-being.

4. They only contact you when they need something

If your friend cuts contact with you for a long time and reaches out to you only when in need, it’s a clear sign that they don’t respect you. They don’t value your friendship and only care about themselves.

5. They are insensitive towards you

Your friends are the first ones you will turn up to when you feel low. They will understand you better than others and try to cheer you up. If your friend is insensitive towards your feelings, it shows their lack of respect for you.

6. They are jealous of your achievements

A true friend takes pride in your achievements–be it finding a partner, getting a promotion, or landing your dream job. But, unfortunately, some might feel jealous of your success and hope for your downfall. It is a clear sign that they don’t respect you.

protip_icon Point to consider
Notice who claps and cheers for you on your achievements. Friends who are jealous of you have a tendency to talk about their success whenever you try to tell them about your achievements.

7. They intentionally hurt your feelings

A disrespectful friend secretly wants to see you upset and doesn’t spare a chance to hurt you

. It can be their harsh words or certain actions that end up hurting your feelings. Hence, it’s important to cut off such friends from your life for your emotional well-being.

8. They don’t keep their promise

A clear sign that a friend doesn’t respect you is that they don’t keep their promise. They drop the plans at the last minute and don’t show up on time. They will always let you down, and don’t feel bad about it.

9. They are manipulative

Friend manipulating shows they don't respect you

Image: Shutterstock

A manipulative friend will exploit your vulnerabilities to make things happen in favor of them. They may use your empathy, fears, or weaknesses to control you and your life.

10. They won’t be there when you need them the most

A friend in need is a friend indeed. If your friend is not there in your hard times or when you need them the most, it shows that they don’t respect you. They may join you in your success but leave you in the lurch in tough situations.

11. They are egoistic

Ego can ruin friendships. A disrespectful friend rides on ego and complicates the friendship. They will be hard to cope up with and please. All they need is someone who boosts their ego and feels good about themselves.

12. They criticize your choices

A disrespectful friend will always question, criticize and show disapproval of your choices. Be it the degree you are planning to pursue or the girl/boy you date, they will be critical of you. Their put-downs and demeaning behavior indicate that they do not value your choices or respect your preferences.

13. They are rude to you

Rude behavior shows that your friend doesn't respect you

Image: IStock

A sign that your friend doesn’t respect you is that they behave rudely. When someone directs anger toward you and employs offensive language, it showcases insolence and contempt. Furthermore, their impolite and thoughtless conduct is an affront that can cause you significant emotional pain and hurt.

14. They want everything on their terms

Your friend wants everything to happen in the way they want. If you plan a trip or order something to eat, they rebuke your choices and want you to agree to theirs. Similarly, they neglect you and do not consider your opinions.

15. They don’t admit their mistakes

A disrespectful friend always justifies their actions and will not admit their mistakes. They act as if nothing has happened after committing mistakes and causing you trouble. It shows how they don’t care about you and are unwilling to take up responsibilities.

16. They don’t trust you

Distrustful behavior shows that your friend doesn't respect you

Image: IStock

Another sign that a friend doesn’t respect you is that they don’t trust you. They doubt your abilities and stop you from taking charge. They always consider you in low regard and treat you with disrespect.

protip_icon Point to consider
True friendship comes only from having faith in each other. So if you see that your friend is unable to trust you, you already know where your friendship is heading.

17. They don’t support your dreams

They always knock you down instead of building you up. They don’t support your dreams, show indifference, and often discourage you from pursuing them, saying it is impossible to achieve.

18. They block you in a group

They are too jealous that you get a better place in a particular group, and their role will be limited. So they always want you to be under them and don’t want you to expand your friends’ circle. They may also engage in denunciation and criticism of you within your friend circle.

19. They don’t value your friendship

They don’t make any effort to keep your friendship going. Your friendship is one-sided, and it’s upon you to do everything for them. Lack of recognition demonstrates that the person disrespects you and does not value your efforts in a friendship.

20. They don’t listen to you

The communication is one-sided, and you don’t get a chance to speak for yourself. They do most of the talking, and they interrupt you when you try to make your point. If your friend shows disregard by ignoring your opinions, it is a telltale sign that your friend doesn’t respect you.

21. They blame you for everything

They blame you for everything

Image: Shutterstock

Whatever goes wrong, you are to blame. They find fault in everything you do and always point the finger at you. If your friend slights you, it clearly shows their thoughtlessness and disrespect.

22. They keep you away from others

A friend who doesn’t respect you wants to keep you in their control and will stop you from making friends with others. They may also try to keep you away from your other friends and family. They will criticize your choice of friends and even put pressure on you to stay away from them. They try to isolate you so that you stay under their thumb.

23. They have unreasonable expectations of you

A disrespectful friend will be extremely demanding and will expect you to cater to their whims and fancies. They will expect you to treat them the way they want, talk the way they want, and do everything according to their preference. They also try to manipulate your thoughts and do not let you make your own decisions.

How To Deal With Disrespectful Friends?

If you spot some of the above signs in your friend, it is high time you cut them off from your life. However, before confronting your friends for not respecting you, understand and evaluate your feelings. Realize the impact of your friends’ behavior on your mental health and well-being, and remember that it is okay to prioritize yourself. When you acknowledge your feelings, you can set better boundaries and make informed decisions about who you can keep in your life and who you can do without. If you face trouble making such decisions, discuss them with a trusted friend, adult, or professional for some outside perspective, support, and clarity.

Once you decide what to do, you may try to stop talking to your disrespectful friends, deleting their contact, and avoiding situations where you would have to cross paths. If you are still unsure of doing that, wait patiently. Misunderstandings can happen, and an honest talk can sort things between you. If your friend genuinely cares for you, they will amend and rectify their behaviors. If they don’t, they will continue to treat you the same way, and you would have to end the friendship for peace of mind.

But remember that whenever you decide to take them back in your life you do it on your terms. Reset your boundaries and let them know what kind of behavior is acceptable and what is not. Make it clear that you will not accept their past behavior and that you too deserve to be treated respectfully.

protip_icon Quick Tip
For friends who are too precious to you, inform them right away if they insult you. They might not realize they are mistreating you, so let them understand that you dislike it.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. How can I set boundaries with a friend who doesn’t respect me?

Convey your message to them unequivocally and consistently. Make sure you are firm in your approach and straightforward when telling them their behavior is inappropriate and that you will be implementing consequences.

2. Is it possible to have a healthy friendship with someone who doesn’t respect me?

It is probably impossible to have a healthy friendship with someone who doesn’t respect you, as respect is a crucial factor in any relationship. It is also generally advisable to avoid befriending those who disrespect you to maintain your self-respect and integrity.

It is wise to walk away from a narcissist friend who gives out bad vibes or doesn’t respect you. You don’t have to explain or argue. If they value your friendship, they will understand their mistakes and get back to you. After all, having no friends is better than being surrounded by fake or toxic friends. If you find these signs in a friend, you may want to go through these tips on how to end a friendship gracefully.

Infographic: How To Handle A Disrespectful Friend

It can be difficult and uncomfortable to deal with a disrespectful friend, but doing so is necessary to protect your honor and friendship. Check out the infographic below to learn effective ways to respond to a disrespectful friend; however, the ideal approach to react will depend on the specific situation and the type of disrespect.

ways to deal with a disrespectful friend(infographic)

Illustration: Momjunction Design Team

Illustration: Most Obvious Signs Your Friend Doesn&039t Respect You

signs your friend doesn't respect you_illustration

Image: Stable Diffusion/MomJunction Design Team

Discover the telltale signs that indicate your friend may not be treating you with the respect you deserve. Gain insights into recognizing and addressing these behaviors in our eye-opening video.


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Jessica Jefferson
Jessica JeffersonMA, MS, LMFT
Jessica Jefferson is a licensed marriage and family therapist and a certified perinatal mental health professional who is trained to help clients suffering from mental health disorders like anxiety and depression. She graduated with a Bachelors in Psychology from the University of Miami, a Masters in Psychology in Education from Teachers College, Columbia University and a Masters in Family Therapy from Nova Southeastern University.

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Akshay is an associate editor and former journalist with more than four years of experience. A post graduate in Mass Communication and Journalism, he has strong professional and academic background in the field of content writing and editing.

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Siddharth Kesiraju
Siddharth KesirajuMA, Certification in Relationship Coaching
Siddharth holds a certification in Relationship Coaching and a masters degree in communication and journalism from the University of Hyderabad. He has around seven years of experience in various fields of writing and editing.

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Benidamika holds a masters degree in Counseling Psychology from Assam Don Bosco University and another masters degree in English Literature from North Eastern Hill University. At MomJunction, Benidamika writes on human psychology and relationships.

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