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Jealousy is a complex emotion that can impact relationships and personal well-being. If you have even been a victim of someone’s jealousy, you are probably well aware of the feeling. Perhaps if you knew when someone is jealous of you, you could have prevented an unfortunate event. Jealous people are rude and pass derogatory remarks for no valid reason. Mostly they display such obvious signs of their intentions openly, but sometimes it can be hard to tell. They may not show any emotions but can be plotting against you. In this post, we provide a list of signs someone is jealous of you.
Key Pointers
- A jealous person close to you will downplay your accomplishments while exaggerating their own.
- They strive to mislead and demotivate you and put you in awkward situations.
- It may also be possible that there aren’t any obvious motives for their hatred towards you.
16 Signs To Tell Someone Is Jealous Of You
Jealousy does not come with a signboard, but some of these signs can probably help you understand if a person might be jealous of you.
1. Fakes happiness for your success
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This person may be your competitor, but when you win something, they clap the loudest for you and look elated as if they have won a prize. They will praise you and congratulate you, but only when people are around. They are actually resentful and begrudging of your success. Once alone with other people, they will ensure everyone knows how undeserving you are. They will speak ill of you behind your back and in such a way that listeners are convinced they are right.
2. Undermines your achievements
A jealous person is bitter and hates seeing you happy and enjoys raining on your parade. For instance, you tell them that someone complimented your new dress, and they will act as though it is no big deal and that they have bought better dresses at a much cheaper rate. They want to ensure that you do not enjoy other people’s attention, which they probably crave and cannot earn it themselves.
Emily Grace Smith, a blogger, author, and coach for purpose-filled living, shares a similar experience that may help you recognize this behavior of jealousy better. She writes, “I lost a friendship in 2020, where jealousy was an issue. I saw this woman as wise and someone I could look up to, as I met her when I started my business in 2018, and she already had ten years in business under her belt.
“Over time, as I grew my business, I noticed that when I shared my successes, I didn’t get the positive reaction I was expecting. For example, after texting my friend that I had just completed a successful speaking event for 60 people, all I got back was a ‘Great.’ I didn’t understand because I thought she was someone who seemed to have it all and who was more experienced. Why would she be jealous? It seems that this is a disease of the ego – that it doesn’t matter what your external life looks like (i).”
3. Overestimates their own achievements
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Jealous people are often insecure. They do not have the qualities of an admirable person, so they tend to blow their own trumpet to force people to notice and recognize their achievement. You may share your achievement with them, but they will instead start talking about their past achievement. Their achievement may not be a big one, but they want to ensure they look superior to you. Their distaste and rancor for your success comes through immediately.
4. Remains absent during your success
Someone who is jealous of you can’t stand it when you are being celebrated and can’t listen to others praising you. They are uncharitable towards you. For instance, you throw an engagement party for friends and invite the person. They will most probably give the party a miss as they cannot see you happy. However, if you happen to break up with your fiancé, be sure that the jealous person will be around you, pretending to console you but secretly taking pleasure in your miserable condition.
5. Misguides you
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Whenever you go to this jealous person for some guidance or advice, they will either be uncooperative or give you the wrong advice because they do not want you to benefit from their experience. For instance, you ask for the number of their hairstylist because you liked their hair color. They will be not only reluctant to share the number with you but also bad mouth the good hairdresser and deliberately recommend you a lousy hairstylist.
6. Makes you uncomfortable with questions
When you meet someone new, it is natural for them to ask questions about you. A jealous person will also ask you questions but with a different intention. They might ask you about your past experiences and achievements and scrutinize every bit of information you share. They will constantly try to plant a seed of self-doubt in your mind, will cause disquietude, and keep asking you questions that will eventually make you uncomfortable.
7. Competes with you all the time
You may be happy pursuing your hobbies and interest, oblivious to the fact that the jealous person tracks your movements to outdo you in anything possible.
Their logic behind this is simple; they want what you have, and so, they will get it by being like you and better than you. A jealous person thrives on schadenfreude so your failure will spur them on. For instance, they may never have worn makeup in their entire life, but when they notice you experimenting with your look, they will purchase all kinds of makeup available to look better than you.
Point to consider8. Bad mouths you at any given opportunity
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When someone comes to you and tells you that another person spoke ill of you, remember that this person too has bad-mouthed you to be able to know what others are talking about you. A jealous person will pretend to be your well-wisher and a bestie, but they keep you close only to spread gossip and false rumors about you. Their praise of you will be grudging. They will not spare any opportunity to complain about you to others and might even exaggerate details to tarnish your name.
9. Humiliates you in front of others
Let’s suppose you and the jealous person are with a third person. As you three speak, the third person starts pulling your leg in jest, which you don’t mind. But the jealous person joins the third person and begins teasing and insulting you in the garb of a joke. They fully intend to embarrass and humiliate you in front of the third person. If confronted, they will brush it off and say they were only joking and that you need not take it seriously. They might not even show their animosity towards you openly but their behavior shows it all.
10. Secretly enjoys your failures
You may not even be aware of it, but the person jealous of you felt an immense joy when you told them how your boss rebuked you for a mistake you made.
They might not show their dislike openly but they will enjoy your setbacks and failures, and if given a chance, they will even spread the news around, ensuring that people know of your mistakes. They want everyone to know you are flawed and that there is no point in admiring a person like you.
11. Overly critical of you
No matter what you do and how well you do it, the person jealous of you will never have anything nice to say about it. Moreover, they will be spiteful about it. Everyone around you might appreciate your good work, but the jealous person will find some flaw and fixate on it, ignoring the rest of the work. They will try to sabotage your proud moment so that you start seeing yourself as an imperfect person.
Point to consider12. Hates you for no apparent reason
A jealous person may be a great friend to other people, but they will not be nice to you. Instead, they will think venting out their ire is a display of their indignation. And if they see you as a threat to their popularity, they will be even ruder to you. You may be nice to them and may even try to help them if needed, but they will not accept you. As the two opposite poles of a magnet, you might never be able to coexist as regular friends or even acquaintances harmoniously.
Quick fact13. Steals credit for your work
A jealous person will often want you and people around to believe that they have played some role in your achievement. For instance, when you win something, they will say, “I’m glad you followed my advice or else you wouldn’t have won this” or “Next time, come sooner to me.” You may have heard this from your other friends too, but with this person, you just feel it deep inside that they are only trying to take credit for your work and create stress.
14. Demotivates you
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You tell them how you plan to achieve something, and they will try their best to dissuade you from pursuing it. They may pretend to encourage you but will slyly create doubts in your mind. For instance, they may say something like this, “Wow! It’s good you are planning to relocate. But are you sure you will be able to do it? Because you know living in that city is so scary. I would never live there.” You may have done thorough research and made your decision, but their words of doubt make you unsure of yourself and cause self-doubt.
15. Passes snide remarks
A jealous person is malignant. They will never show their insecurity openly, but they need to get the negative energy building inside of them out. Their negativity comes out through unwarranted snide remarks. Their comments will be indirect, sarcastic, and motivated by pent up negativity. Their comments may not always be for you only but even for other people because there is no limit to their jealousy.
16. Showers you with insincere compliments
If someone keeps saying nice things that do not feel real, it could be because they are jealous of you. Instead of being happy for you, they might use fake compliments to hide their envy or be sarcastic and joke about your achievements. If someone gives you fake compliments that do not sound real, they might be trying to make your achievements seem less important or make you doubt yourself. Jealousy can make people act like they are supporting you when trying to make you feel less confident. You may closely watch their body language and how they communicate to get more clarity.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. What should I do when someone is jealous of me?
If someone is jealous of you, you need to approach them with kindness, compassion, and positivity. Be empathetic toward them, share your personal stories of struggles, and provide them with the tools to manage their jealousy. However, if their negative opinion is hampering your well-being, do not make their thoughts and feelings your own—set clear boundaries to protect your mental health, and walk away from such people.
2. What does it mean when someone is jealous of me?
Jealousy is a natural feeling and does not usually indicate a problem. Instead, it motivates people to work hard and achieve their goals. However, it becomes problematic when jealousy starts interfering with a person’s well-being. Jealousy may indicate deep-seated feelings of insecurity and competition. It may also arise if a person struggles with perfectionism or trust issues. In adolescents, jealousy may be due to low self-esteem and aggression. So, the causes of jealousy may vary from one person to another. To control this feeling, one needs to address its cause.
3. How can I tell the difference between envy and jealousy?
Jealousy and envy are similar and sometimes used interchangeably. However, the slight difference is that jealousy is a feeling of resentment, grudge, or ill will towards someone who possesses something you do not have. Envy is a feeling of desire and longing for someone else’s possessions.
4. What can cause someone to feel jealous of me?
Numerous reasons can evoke feelings of jealousy. For example, it can be due to poor self-image, low self-esteem, insecurity, trust issues, competitive nature, comparison, unhappiness with their work, relationship, or life in general, and past experiences.
5. What are the consequences of someone being jealous of me?
A jealous person may criticize, insult and belittle you for your achievements and successes. These actions may negatively impact your life and make you feel small, undeserving, demotivated, doubtful, humiliated, and uncomfortable. But remember, the problem is not you and keep pushing forward towards success and try to surround yourself with people who genuinely support you.
Jealousy can dominate people’s thoughts and eventually fill them with negative energy. The green-eyed monster can spoil a person’s life and that of those around them. If someone is jealous of you, they may constantly try to undermine your accomplishments, mislead you, sow seeds of self-doubt in you, put you in an invidious situation, compete with you, or speak ill of you. They might show their vexation and outrage in different ways that may hurt you. You may be unable to avoid being around such individuals completely, but you could learn how to cope with their negativity. Most important, don’t fall for their ploys, but continue to shine in ways that are true to you.
Infographic: How To Not Let Envy Attacks Affect You
Jealousy is a strong feeling that can take away the happiness from your achievements. So if other people are throwing negative comments at you to make you feel low, don’t let them win. Use these tips to fight back without aggression but with powerful gestures that will help keep your mental peace in check. Illustration: Momjunction Design Team
Do you feel that someone is envious of you? Learn to decode hidden emotions from this video on 15 signs that someone is jealous of you!
Personal Experience: Source
MomJunction articles include first-hand experiences to provide you with better insights through real-life narratives. Here are the sources of personal accounts referenced in this article.
i. How to deal with jealous people;
https://medium.com/change-your-mind/how-to-deal-with-jealous-people-6d5c40a1a6
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