Image: Midjourney/ MomJunction Design Team
Your first date went well. You and your date had incredible chemistry, exchanged numbers, laughs, and stimulating conversation. Now, you must send the right follow-up text after the first date to maintain the spark and ensure the connection continues growing.
One good date isn’t enough if you wish to keep things moving and continue the relationship. Dating is similar to a game, and you must be on your toes to succeed. Sending a good message after the first date may seem quite difficult. When to text, what to say, and how to ask for a second date may occupy your thoughts, causing you to overanalyze situations.
Conflicting thoughts might embrace you with doubts. You may have come across a few messaging guidelines. For example, some may advise you not to text for three days, while others may urge you to text right away. Sounds confusing, right?
Read this post to know when it’s appropriate to text after a first date and how to write beautiful conversation starters for your special someone.
When To Text After A First Date?
Image: IStock
While texting immediately after leaving the date might make you seem too eager, sending a message after three days might make your date think you are not interested, or worse, they might write you off and move on. Why wait long if your date went well?
A good rule of thumb is to wait a few hours before texting. It gives you some time to think about the date. Within the next few hours, send them a simple text to check if they reached home or tell them that you had fun. These simple messages show that you are polite and are interested in taking it forward. After the first text, give them time to respond and avoid bombarding them with messages.
How Often To Text After The First Date?
It depends on how things are developing between you two. If the progress is moderate, then text every two to three days to remind them of your presence. If the conversation is flowing, you may chat more often. However, if you have clicked on the first date, feel free to connect while maintaining a balance; texting them too frequently may make them think you’re overbearing, while texting too little can make you seem disinterested. Adjust the frequency of your texts based on the flow of the conversation.
Who Should Text First?
No hard and fast rule that dictates who should initiate texting. Previously, it was considered the man’s responsibility to lead a conversation, but that does not hold good any longer. If you think you have felt something for a person on the first date, don’t hesitate to get the message across. Waiting for someone to text you first may send a wrong signal in an age of speedy communication and affect your chances.
What If They Text First?
There is a chance your date texts you first. In such a scenario, respond as soon as possible. Don’t wait for a day or two. You shouldn’t play hard to get and keep them hanging if you are interested. Taking too much time to respond might send the wrong message that you are not interested.
Detailed Conversation And Planning A Subsequent Date
You can wait for another two or three days after the first text to start a long text conversation. It shows that you have a busy life. When you finally begin texting each other, express your interest in the second date. Since you have only been on one date, avoid over-the-top flirting, getting too personal, or expressing your love. It might come across as creepy.
What To Text After The First Date?
While knowing when to text is essential in the dating game, the text you send can make or break your case. If you are confused about what to text, here are a few examples that you can use.
1. “Hey, did you reach home safely?”
Image: Shutterstock
Texting your date whether they reached home safely shows you care about them. It is a great way to communicate your thoughtfulness. Sending the first text shows your interest and confidence, which might help you score some brownie points with your date. This text could help you relate the person’s feelings about the date. If they didn’t enjoy the date, they might not text you back.
2. “Hey, I enjoyed your company tonight. I would love to see you again.”
If you are wondering how to ask for a second date, this is a clear and straightforward message showing you are interested in seeing them again. Their response will tell you whether they wish to pursue it further. If the person liked your company, the text would make them happy. Even if your date is not interested in going ahead, your message might persuade them to answer as you keep in touch with them.
3. “Did I manage to charm you during the date, or should I try again?”
While you might have enjoyed the date, it is important to check if they had fun too. Instead of sending a generic message such as, “Hope you had fun tonight,” you can send a playful text. Your cheesy attempt at humor might make your date smile, and it could lead to a lively, light-hearted conversation.
4. “I am trying to focus on work, but I am distracted by the thoughts of your beautiful smile.”
Compliments are a great way to open a conversation after the first date. It will communicate your interest and make them feel good about themselves. Such healthy flirting draws attention and makes the conversation lively. You can keep the conversation going for hours and might score a second date sooner than you imagined. Remember to be respectful while flirting or giving a compliment.
5. “Hey, I watched the TV series you recommended. I have so much to discuss!”
Image: IStock
During a first date, you talk about your interests, likes, and dislikes. Use any such information to open a conversation with your date. It shows you are a good listener and are interested in the things they like. Since it is something they enjoy, your date would be enthusiastic about having to renew a long discussion about it.
6. “Hello, fellow adventure junkie! There is an amazing trek a short distance from here. We should check it out.”
Exploring common interests is a great idea for a second date. If you both enjoy adventures, propose a one-day adventure trip. You both can do something you love and enjoy each other’s company. It gives you time to connect with each other.
7. “Thank you for suggesting lasagna. It’s the best thing I have had in a long time.”
Image: IStock
Appreciating your date’s opinion is a great conversation starter after the first date. The text may correspond to further exchange of views about food and will keep the conversation going. Your date will appreciate your effort and sincerity.
8. “I laugh every time I recall your first trip story. Our date was one of the most amazing evenings of my life.”
You want to connect again with your date as you had a great time. Let them get to know your feelings. Take them back to the date night and remind them of the beautiful time you shared. A text like this highlights the evening and builds the excitement to see each other. Your date would be pleased by your companionable appreciation and might become open to more such outings.
Point to consider9. “If there were a prize for the best date ever, do you think we would have a chance at winning it?”
A sweet and quirky text works well if you want to make your date smile. It shows your confidence and funny side. While it may seem a little over the top, it will lighten the mood. By sending this text, you can playfully communicate that you enjoyed the date and are interested in them. The unconventional approach would make you stand out from the others.
10. “I was nervous in the beginning, but the way we connected, I did not feel awkward. Your company made it all smooth!”
First dates can be awkward because you are trying to put your best foot forward. Instead of hiding how you felt, why not be open about it? Your honesty might ease their worries and help them relax. If they mistook your awkwardness as indifference or rudeness, your sincere text would clear such doubts. They might find your vulnerability endearing and be more comfortable with you.
11. “Hey, something exciting happened. I can’t wait to share it with you! Let’s catch up soon.”
If you want to make your date eager to meet you again, you need to create suspense. The exciting thing can be a promotion, a trip, a new idea you got, or even a unique incident you witnessed. Your date would be enthusiastic about uncovering the mystery and might agree to meet you soon, and you can enjoy your second date. But be sure to have something exciting to share before you send such a text.
12. “Hey, how is your day going? Did you do anything interesting today?”
If you want to check in with your date, you can send a short text asking about their day. It shows you are thinking about them and want to know them better. Share your funny or interesting experiences of the day and keep the conversation on by making them smile with your anecdotes.
13. “Just ordered a Thai curry for lunch. It made me miss the one we had on our date.”
If your first date went well, why not use it to remind them of those special moments? A message like this would take your date back to the memorable evening of your first date. They would reminisce about the chemistry and the laughs you shared. Your text would show that you miss them and indicate that you are eager for a second date. You might end up having a long conversation reminiscing about the beautiful moments.
14. “Today is a hectic day, but I can’t help thinking about the amazing conversation we had on our first date.”
The message shows you are missing them despite your busy schedule. Use it to figure out their interest in you. If your date does not respond or texts“Oh, that’s nice” or something along those lines, they might not be interested in a second date. On the other hand, if they respond saying they had fun, you can be optimistic about the next date.
15. “You seemed to enjoy the wine on our date. Have you tried the wine at XYZ? It’s the best in the city.”
Image: IStock
If you want to go on a second date, you can try the sneaky approach. You need not ask the person directly but subtly let them know you would like to go out again. If your date liked you too, they would be glad you noticed their preferences and would be interested in a second date. They might directly or indirectly indicate to get together again.
16. “I know it would be difficult to top that amazing first date, but I would love to try. How does Saturday 7 pm sound?”
Taking the initiative to set up a second date without beating around the bush is appealing. Your direct approach and confidence will impress your date. It shows that you are willing to walk the extra mile. If your first date was terrific, play on that chemistry to snag the second date. Sending a charming message to uplift your date’s mood would make her accept your invite.
17. “Hey, I missed asking something important on our date. Umm, are you by any chance a Harry Potter fan?”
To have a fun conversation after a date, pick up an exciting topic and spring it in the form of a question. By doing so, you can converse deeply about the subject. For instance, if your date says, “Oh yeah, absolutely,” as a reply, you can go ahead and say, “Wow! I was checking if I met a perfect person on the date, and you proved me right.”
On the other hand, if the person says, “Not really.” You can text, “Oh damn. As a diehard Harry Potter fan, I might have to change your mind. Are you ready for a challenge?” Your quirky replies will keep the banter going.
18. “I found out where that stand-up comedian we loved is performing next. Let’s go!”
While on a date, you discuss several things. But there is one high point in every epic date. It might be something memorable that connected you two at a deeper level. If you two shared laughter while watching a comedian perform, a reference to that experience could serve as a strong reason for the second date.
19. “With the sizzling chemistry we shared, I have a feeling we are in for a long haul.”
You need to read your date’s chemistry and body language to understand if the person feels the same as you. If your connection was terrific, then such a bold text would impress your date. They would appreciate the straightforward attitude, and the relationship might move forward fast.
20. “Do you want to learn ice skating? I can teach you if you are free this Sunday. I promise I won’t let you fall.”
People generally confide their hobbies, interests, and skills on a date. Was your date particularly interested in picking up any of your skills? A talent that seemed to attract your date’s curiosity can be used to score a second date with them. Offer to help them learn the skill. It will allow you to show off your expertise, and you will get a chance to spend quality time and bond with your date.
21. “Hey, read this article. It perfectly explains what we were discussing about the history of that restaurant.”
Did you guys spend considerable time discussing the history of the restaurant during your date? Share an article that mentions the restaurant’s history and have a meaningful interface around it. It shows you made an effort to inquire about a topic you discussed. Any discussion about a particular food item, culture, or history can be researched online and shared with your date to continue your conversation.
22. “Sorry if I seemed lost; I had a lot on my mind. Can we please try again?”
Sometimes, you cannot give your 100% due to personal issues or a bad day at work. It’s good to be upfront about it. Inform your date that the problem was at your end and you are interested in a do-over. Your request for a second chance will tell your date that you are still interested. A sincere apology might pave the way for a second date.
23. “Hey, did you enjoy the movie that you were so excited to watch?”
During the discussion, you sometimes discuss your plans for the week. It is possible your date was excited about watching a movie. You can send a follow-up text asking about their experience. Your date would appreciate you remembering something that mattered to them.
24. “I wanted to ask you what motivated you to take up psychology?”
Knowing what drives your date can help you develop a closer bond with them. It can be a passion or profession. They might have a good reason for choosing a particular field. If they spoke about taking up psychology during the date, compose a text asking why they chose the stream. Understand the motivation behind their choice. Your interest in their life might make them open up to you.
25. “I liked speaking to you, but we missed the spark. Good luck on your dating journey.”
It’s okay if your first date didn’t strike the way you expected. Instead of ghosting, be straightforward. Don’t be critical or harsh, share your opinion politely, and wish the person well. Send this message as soon as you can, and move on.
Also, do not be too nice and avoid sending typical texts like ‘you deserve better,’ or ‘it is me not you.’ Be straightforward and end it politely. Lin, a writer, says, “In my own experience, I’d much rather hear that someone just isn’t all that into me than be fed another cliche line (i).”
Common Mistakes To Avoid When Texting After A Date
Communication is a tricky game to master, especially if you are talking to someone new. Here are some mistakes you must avoid when texting someone after a first date.
1. Over-texting: Think twice before bombarding them with messages right after the first date. Give them time to reflect, and only then shoot them a text. A cooling-off period is necessary for both of you.
2. Sending mixed signals: The hot-and-cold behavior does not register well in the dating scene, especially if you are interested in the person and want to see them for subsequent dates. Be clear about your intentions when texting them, and don’t play hard to get.
3. Overlooking how often they respond: If your date is not as eager to text you back or it’s taking them hours to get back to you, take that as a sign. Step back and only give back the energy you receive.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. Who should text first after a date?
“Man should text first after a date” is so passé. In today’s millennial world, anyone who feels connected with their date enjoys their company and wants to convey their feelings can text first. In these messages, you can discuss how you felt, if you’re looking forward to seeing them again, or even if you wish to say a polite no, text and open up.
2. What timing is best for texting after a first date?
Waiting between a few hours to a day is standard when texting after the first date. This gives them ample time to figure out how they feel about you. However, it’s best not to exceed 24 to 48 hours, or the person may think you are uninterested in them.
3. How often should you text after a first date?
Spamming can turn off your date, but there is no rule of thumb on the number of times you can text. You can just text a couple of times to learn about their interests, or if you both enjoyed meeting each other, you could chat like there’s no tomorrow.
4. Is it necessary to text after a first date if I don’t feel a connection?
You are not obligated to text someone after a first date if you don’t feel a connect with your date. Moving on without starting a new conversation is acceptable if there isn’t any chemistry or desire. However, if your date is showing interest in you and you’re clear about not taking it forward, express your disinterest without hurting them.
5. Can texting after a first date make or break my potential relationship?
Without question, what you text each other after a first date significantly impacts where the relationship is headed. But it is not the only factor a relationship hinges upon. Other important factors, like how well the date went, whether both of you felt a connection, and how eager both are for the next date, can determine the course of the relationship.
Now that you know what to text after the first date, we hope the above tips will help you take the right steps towards the success of this relationship. If you are worried about how to keep the conversation going over text, just remember to be yourself and take it slow. The above texts are for your reference. You may customize them based on how well the date went and the chemistry you shared with them. Convey your feelings subtly, and if you think they feel the same way, indicate your interest to re-unite for a second date. Although texting them may seem scary, remember that your future comfort level with them depends on how you face this awkwardness today. So just go with the flow and let the conversation progress.
Infographic: Expressing Your Thanks After The First Date
You now have many messages you can send after your first date, but before you send any of them, you must express gratitude and say “thank you” for the lovely time you shared. Let’s look at the infographic below to learn some “Thank you texts” to send to your date and start a conversation if you want to go out with them again.
Illustration: Momjunction Design Team
Key Pointers
- If your date texts you first, respond as soon as possible. Taking too long to respond may be perceived as a lack of interest.
- Let them know your feelings and ask open-ended questions to continue the conversation and connect with them.
- You may go with the flow and do not overthink while texting after the first date.
Illustration: Texts To Send After A First Date
Image: Stable Diffusion/MomJunction Design Team
Enjoyed your first date but are feeling unsure of what to text later? Don’t worry, this video will answer your questions. Learn when and what to text to keep the conversation going.
Personal Experience: Source
MomJunction articles include first-hand experiences to provide you with better insights through real-life narratives. Here are the sources of personal accounts referenced in this article.
i. The best thing to say (or text) after a bad first date;https://girlwiththecats.medium.com/the-best-thing-to-say-or-text-after-a-bad-first-date-6561cfe0d23d
Community Experiences
Join the conversation and become a part of our nurturing community! Share your stories, experiences, and insights to connect with fellow parents.
Read full bio of Andrea Riley
Read full bio of sanjana lagudu
Read full bio of Akshay Nair
Read full bio of Ratika Pai
