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If you hit a rough patch in your marriage and are looking for things you should not say to your husband, read on! Melanie and her husband have been married for six months. She was irritated by her husband’s family’s excessive ‘intervention.’ She was so furious one day that she bombarded her husband with complaints as soon as he arrived home from work. This ruined the environment at home, and the couple ended up sleeping angry at each other. Melanie felt terrible for her actions, but she could not take back what she said.
You may be very close to your partner and speak your heart with them. However, just as in any other relationship, your words have the power to make or break your marriage. Words can manifest into hurt and anger and if left unchecked, it may even lead to divorce. Think before you talk to avoid having to apologize afterward. Effective communication is essential, and understanding our words’ impact can help us constructively navigate conflicts. This post will explore how certain statements might be harmful and why they should be avoided to foster a healthy relationship.
Key Pointers
- Using encouraging and romantic words and telling him how much you appreciate him can brighten his mood.
- Phrases like ‘I always do everything’ and ‘You’re useless in a crisis’ can negatively impact your bond with him.
- Understanding and choosing words wisely can help to resolve and avoid fights, heartbreak, and negative vibes.
90+ Things You Should Tell Your Husband
Andrea Miller recalls how her marriage was on the rocks when she and her husband would constantly push each other’s buttons. Eventually, she came to the conclusion that she must change her own attitude and appreciate her husband more to turn the tide. She writes, “I decided to try more love and tenderness and less judgment and punishment. I decided to do all that I could to make him happy and feed and nurture our marriage.
“I started tuning much more actively into my husband — prioritizing him, touching him regularly (holding his hand, sitting very close to him, hugging him, rubbing his shoulders, etc), more actively praising and appreciating him, and — crucially — not letting my ego get the best of me and not letting my need to be right lead to Armageddon. As a result, I have managed to bring out the best in my husband. Our relationship has become light years better, and I feel much happier and more empowered (i).”
A few sweet words that you tell your husband can brighten up his otherwise hectic or boring day. Those words would make him long to spend time with you. Below, we present a few encouraging words for husband in which you can spill your heart out to him. But remember, be honest and mean what you say.
Phrases To Appreciate And Encourage Your Husband
1. “I appreciate you and everything you do”
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Many married men and those in a relationship often complain about how their better halves do not let them know that they are appreciated. One thing you should say more to your husband is how much you appreciate him and what he does. This will boost his confidence and also make him want to do even more. This is a good thing, especially when you want to strengthen your marriage.
Quick tip2. “I admire your strength and determination.”
Acknowledging and celebrating your husband’s achievements is a great way to boost his confidence. So whenever you see him hustle amidst all the chaos, motivate him to continue striving. Offer sincere compliments admiring his strength and determination. Tell him you believe in his abilities and be his cheerleader across thicks and thins of life.
3. “Thanks for helping around the house”
Helping around the house can be a little daunting for your husband. You are more than likely to have your own way of doing things, and he will not want to mess that up. However, when he does help out, make sure that you let him know that you are grateful. He may not do things exactly the way you like them to be done, but at least he is trying and not being lazy.
4. “You are the most handsome man I know”
Offering genuine compliments to your partner can help build a healthy relationship. After all, who does not like to be appreciated for their looks? So the next time you see your husband try a new outfit or share his ideas about grooming, express your admiration for him. Smile, make eye contact, and give him a gentle touch on the shoulder or arm to make the compliment feel more personal.
5. “I am committed to you”
Like many other things in life, love can be fleeting. Committing to someone shows that your love is strong and much more than a simple emotion. A commitment transcends love. It is about choosing to stick with someone in spite of circumstances or feelings. When you show and also voice out your commitment, it makes your husband feel secure and strengthen his commitment to you and your marriage as well.
6. “I love the way you make me feel safe and loved”
Open and honest communication is vital in any relationship. Sharing your feelings with your husband can deepen your bond and foster a sense of security. Expressing appreciation for how he makes you feel safe and loved can help build trust and emotional closeness.
7. “Let’s spend more time together”
This is one of the special things to do for your husband to make him feel great! With both your busy schedules, you and your husband probably do not get enough time together. Making this suggestion will make him feel special and also make him feel like you are willing to work towards making your marriage last. You need to spend quality time together to be able to nurture your relationship and allow it to grow. Letting your husband know that you want to spend more time with him also shows that you feel close to him and miss him. He probably feels the same way. Set up a fun, romantic date night and make it a must to take a day out of the week for each other.
Point to consider8. “You are my rock, and I can always count on you”
Using words like these helps reassure him of his importance and builds his self-esteem. It serves as a heartfelt affirmation that reminds him he is cherished for being reliable and dependable.
9. “I like you”
Short, simple and sweet – this is a nice thing to say to your husband every once in a while. People can love each other without actually liking each other. When you tell your husband you like him; you show that you care for him deeply and are also a fan of his person. This is a great feeling that he will love. You do not have to say I love you to make someone feel special. Sometimes a simple “I like you” will bring out a smile on their faces that lasts all day.
10. “I am so grateful to have you in my life”
Such words serve as a manifestation of your love, appreciation, and the deep emotional connection you have with someone. These genuine expressions build trust and foster a sense of belonging, ultimately strengthening your partnership.
11. “You are a wonderful father”
Your husband may not be sure about his parenting skills. To encourage him to keep moving in the right direction, let him know that he is a wonderful father. This will boost his self-esteem, and he will be more confident as a parent. When he is more confident, he will be able to make better decisions for the kids and the entire family. Everyone wants to be a good parent, and it is important that you tell your husband that he is one. Let him know that he is a valuable asset to the family. Make sure that you are there to guide and support him in certain situations that require two parents.
12. “You make me laugh every day”
Laughter creates emotional connection while alleviating stress. Expressing gratitude towards your partner for the joy and laughter they bring into your life acknowledges their positive impact on your happiness.
13. “I love the way you provide for the family”
When it comes to providing, men hold themselves to a high standard. All they want is for you to acknowledge their efforts. It is important for you to let him know that you appreciate everything he does for the family. You should let your husband know that he is in no way inadequate and does not have to make millions to keep his family happy.
14. “I love spending time with you”
Expressing this loving affirmation reassures your partner of your emotional bond and highlights the significance you attach to the shared moments. Such open communication enhances intimacy, strengthens trust, and reinforces the foundation of your relationship, cultivating a deeper and more meaningful connection.
15. “I am at my best with you!”
Many of us often feel that our husbands are a blessing from God. We can be ourselves around them, and they help us overcome our weak nature and become a better person. They forgive our mistakes and understand our problems. You should let your husband know how much you have grown as a person and on so many levels at that. It will make him happy knowing that he is a major contributor to your overall development.
16. “You are my best friend”
Being best friends with your spouse signifies a strong basis of trust. So open your heart and talk to him. It will help reinforce the concept of a lifelong partnership. Besides, it will help you develop a strong emotional bond to share happiness and face obstacles together. A perfect recipe for cultivating a lasting and fulfilling relationship!
17. “You can always make me smile and laugh”
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Let your husband know that he brightens up your day. Show him that he brings positive energy into your home, and you love him for it. While he may not be the funniest guy in the world, let him know that you get his jokes and love them all. These compliments will make him feel good and reassure him that he is doing a good job of keeping everyone happy.
18. “I am so proud of everything you have accomplished”
Showing pride and support for someone’s accomplishments is a meaningful way to demonstrate love. Recognizing the effort and dedication they have devoted to their goals conveys your belief in their abilities and commitment to their success. Additionally, it motivates them to continue striving for excellence while feeling valued and appreciated for their hard work. Therefore, don’t hesitate to convey your admiration and pride for your husband’s achievements.
19. “I’m so proud of you”
If your husband makes you proud, make sure he knows it. This will make your husband feel special. Your marriage will go far as long as you stand by your husband and give him your support whenever he needs it. We are living in a world that is constantly knocking us down, so make sure to let him know that you will be around to pick him up. Letting your husband know that you are proud of him will make him work harder to achieve his dreams and do even better by his family.
Quick tip20. “I love the way you look at me”
There are numerous ways to show love and affection to your partner, but expressing “I love the way you look at me” holds a special significance in deepening the bond between two people. This simple phrase recognizes and appreciates the unique way that our partners see us – with admiration, tenderness, and maybe even a touch of wonder. It serves as a reminder that our partners genuinely love and respect us for who we are.
21. “I’m so glad that I married you”
There may be times when your husband feels like he has let you down. Let him know that you would marry him again in a heartbeat no matter what. Whether it is a fight or argument, or after a difficult week, your better half may be feeling down and think that he is a disappointment. Reassure him that you love him and that there is no one else you would rather marry. If you want to do something nice for your husband then this is the one. Find out some romantic ways to tell your husband you love him.
22. “I can’t wait to grow old with you”
Expressing your desire to grow old with your husband is a beautiful way to demonstrate your unwavering commitment and deep love. It signifies your anticipation of sharing a lifetime, navigating the highs and lows that come with aging.
23. “I love you”
Three powerful encouraging words for your husband which he loves to hear always! Sometimes, in the mad rush of everyday schedules, we often forget the important things in life. Like taking the time to say a quick I love you to each other. Let your husband know that you love him by saying the actual words. It can make a huge difference in his entire day. Whether it is in the morning before he goes off to work, or in the evening after a long day, saying these three words, does more than tell him that you love him; it also shows that you appreciate everything he does.
24. “I love the way you smell”
Acknowledging and appreciating your partner’s scent can foster a deep connection between you. The sense of smell is closely tied to memory and emotions, so expressing admiration for your spouse’s distinct fragrance establishes a positive association in their mind.
25. “How are you?”
This may sound a little silly, but let’s face it – everyone needs to talk things out. Take the time to ask your husband how he is. You may get an unexpected reply. Maybe he is insecure about something and feels uncomfortable bringing it up. Or maybe he is perfectly fine. You will never know unless you ask. This simple question will show your husband that you are concerned and that you will be there for him, no matter what.
26. “I love the way you touch me”
Communicating to your spouse that you cherish how they touch you can strengthen your emotional connection. It demonstrates that you value their affection and are receptive to it. By expressing gratitude for physical touch, you encourage a positive body image and contribute to building your partner’s self-assurance.
27. “You are my best friend”
People think that love and romance deplete as the years go by in a marriage. But that is not true. Saying that “You are my bestie” is one of the best words for a husband. He is the one person who is always by your side and has been a constant support in tough times. You know that you share all your thoughts and ideas with him. Why not tell him that? When you tell your husband that he is your best friend, you are not just putting him on the pedestal of a good husband, but also giving him an important position in your life. Calling him your best friend would mean that you would share your stories with him without any inhibitions, and you trust him to be a counsel.
28. “You are my soulmate”
Expressing your affection for your partner is a meaningful way to strengthen your emotional bond. So let your husband know that he is the one who truly understands you. Tell him you share similar values and goals and complement each other like mosaic pieces. It will help demonstrate your appreciation for his presence in your life. Additionally, it will signify your commitment to building a long-lasting relationship.
29. “You are the perfect dad!”
There is nothing better than this as a compliment. Every husband wants to be the perfect father figure and role model to their children. When you, the mother of the kids, who knows them inside out, pays such a compliment, it definitely brightens them up and fills them with happiness. This would also go on to show that you are aware of all the things your husband does for the children, including the tiny ways in which he is contributing to their growth.
Phrases that show you are understanding
30. “I love you more than words can say”
Showing your love and appreciation for your husband is crucial. It demonstrates that your love extends beyond mere words and cannot be fully expressed. Expressing such sentiments can make him feel valued and cherished, strengthening your bond. It serves as a poignant reminder to let your partner know just how much they mean to you and how grateful you are to have them in your life.
31. “Let’s work things out”
Instead of trying to resolve your problems with harsh words and a lot of yelling, take a deep breath, calm down and tell your husband that you want to work things out, and you are doing it the wrong way. Reassure him that you are willing to do anything to take care of the problems you have. The last thing your husband wants to do is shout and fight with you so he will appreciate these words and probably feels the same way too.
32. “You are my hero”
Your husband is a hero for you. So do not shy away from telling how much he means to you. Remember, showing appreciation and admiration for your spouse is always positive. It not only strengthens your relationship but also boosts their confidence. So, acknowledge and celebrate their big and small achievements to make them feel loved and valued.
33. “We should work together to make this work”
If you are going through marital issues, you need to work together as a couple to resolve things and save your marriage. It can be easy to blame your spouse for everything that goes wrong in the marriage. However, remember that it takes two hands to clap, so you need to work with each other, not against each other. When you tell your husband this, he will appreciate you even more, especially since you are not putting all the blame on him.
34. “You are the best thing that has ever happened to me”
Regularly expressing your emotions towards your partner can contribute to a healthy and fulfilling relationship. Simply telling him “I appreciate you” or “I’m grateful for you” can make him feel acknowledged and cherished. So do not hold back. Be expressive and tell the most special man in your life that he has changed your life for good in many ways.
35. “Differences bring us closer”
You may have been in a bad fight with your husband, and it may seem like everything has come to an end, the love is gone, and you want to run away from him. But hold that thought! You must understand that two people could have different views and ideas. Instead of losing your cool and yelling at your husband, explain to him why you had a difference of opinion. Try to sort things out and let him know that you are willing to listen.
36. “You’re always there for me, no matter what”
He laughs with you on the silliest jokes and holds your hand in the most challenging times. His unwavering support and loyalty make you feel safe and secure. So why not celebrate him each day and make him feel cherished? Use simple, heartfelt phrases such as “I consider myself extremely lucky to have you by my side” or “You bring so much positivity into my life” to make your partner feel valued. It will help foster a sense of security and trust. Besides, it will inspire him to be your support system for life.
37. “I know you will probably say no, but…”
If you are planning to make a request for something, starting out on a negative note like this will most likely make your husband feel like saying “no.” You should frame your words in a positive way, and it will sound much better. It will also give you more positive results.
38. “I can talk to you about anything”
Telling your partner you feel comfortable talking about anything with him creates a safe communication space. Besides, it shows that you care about his opinions and views. Above all, it helps him know you better, which will help bring him closer to you.
39. “Is there something I can do for you?”
Most times, men do not feel like telling anyone when they need help from someone else. You should ask your spouse if he needs something and whether you can help in any way. This shows him that you care and that you do acknowledge the hard work he is putting in, whether it is in your marriage or looking after you, your family and your home. Men need help sometimes too; they just do not know how to ask for it, so keep in mind to ask if there is anything you can do.
40. “I love your smile”
Complimenting your significant other is a straightforward yet powerful way to express your love for them. In a world where noticing simple things about people has become difficult, taking the time to acknowledge and celebrate your loved one’s attributes can significantly enhance the quality of your relationship. So the next time your husband smiles, do not miss the chance to appreciate his inherent charm.
41. “I know you’ll make the right decision”
Life is full of tough situations where you need to make tough decisions. If there are situations where you are not sure how to handle things or if you will make the right decision, you should entrust the job to your husband and let him know that you trust him to make the right decision for the entire family. As the man of the house, he will be better suited to making certain decisions. This is one of the great things to say to your husband that he is bound to feel great knowing that you are 100% behind him.
42. “You’re my everything”
Genuine appreciation can uplift and strengthen the connection between two individuals. So, always take some time to tell your husband how your world revolves around him. Tell him how he adds shine to your life with the simplest gestures. These small yet meaningful efforts will make him feel deeply valued, respected, and loved. In addition, it will bring you two closer!
43. “You have my 100% support”
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This is one of the positive things to say to your husband, and something that every spouse needs to hear. It is what will drive him to do better, not only in the marriage but life as well. You and your husband will need each other’s back through thick and thin, and by telling your husband that you are with him all the way, you are letting him know that you are 100% committed to your marriage. This is a great way to strengthen your marriage and bond even more as a couple.
44. “You make me feel like I can conquer the world”
Recognizing and acknowledging the impact our loved ones have on us is crucial. So tell your husband how he inspires you to be the best version of yourself. Convey to him how he makes you feel capable of achieving anything. These simple gestures will help you express your adoration for him. It will also help him realize how he can support you in boosting your confidence and self-esteem.
45. “I am sorry to have hurt you”
We all make mistakes along the way, and none of us is perfect. While this is true, it is also true that one must accept ones mistakes. Whenever you have done something that could have hurt your husband, apologize and accept it. Trying to avoid confrontation or not accepting your mistake would only lead to more troubles. When your husband sees you accepting the mistake, he would also work towards understanding why you did so and maybe this episode would never take place again.
46. “I’m so lucky to be your wife”
Acknowledging the significance of your partner in your life can deepen the connection you share. It communicates that you genuinely appreciate their efforts and love in the relationship, which motivates them to continue nurturing it. Simple words like “You enhance my life” or “I feel incredibly fortunate to have you by my side” hold immense power in fostering a joyful and fulfilling partnership.
47. “I hope I am able to understand you well”
Getting or taking feedback is one of the most important things in life, and why not in relationships? A timely question like this would help you understand your husband better and know how his temperament is. But we must warn you. Don’t divulge a lot. Asking this often can get him irritated as he may think that you are unable to understand him or are constantly insecure about him. So, limit your questions.
Phrases to let him have his alone time
48. “I love the way you always put our family first”
He walks through the most arduous paths with a smile just to ensure his family is happy and safe. He makes several sacrifices to prioritize his family over anything else. Since he pays undivided attention to you and his family, you must recognize his efforts and make him feel respected. Your appreciation for him will strengthen your bond. Also, it will motivate him to keep nurturing his family.
49. “Do you want to talk about it later?”
He will surely love these words of appreciations for husband. As you know, men have a more difficult time communicating. Just because you are ready to hash things out does not mean he is. By giving him the option of talking about things later, you give him a chance to think things through and find out what he wants to say. This will help a lot when the time comes for you both to sit down and talk things through. One of the nice things to do for your husband that will make your marriage more interesting!
50. “You’re the most patient man I know”
One way to cultivate a stronger bond with your husband is by expressing gratitude for his patience. This gesture shows that you recognize and value his efforts in the marriage. Acknowledging his positive attributes also fosters a more optimistic environment within the relationship, increasing happiness and fulfillment for both partners.
51. “Do you need time alone?”
Again, this gives your husband time to cool off and think things through before actually discussing anything. By asking him this, you show him that you understand that he needs time and that you are willing to give him that time. You also let him know that you care about his feelings too, not just yours. This will make him appreciate you more, and he will work towards resolving the issues you have.
52. “You’re the most generous man I know”
Recognizing and acknowledging your husband’s generosity can significantly impact your relationship. It shows you recognize and appreciate his positive qualities, encouraging him to continue being generous. Expressing gratitude and admiration towards your partner is a meaningful way to nurture the bond between you both and foster a deep connection.
53. “Be yourself!”
We all want a little less or more of something in our husbands. While asking them to avoid bad habits (like smoking, drinking, doing drugs, etc.), it is not very wise to ask them to change themselves. Everyone has a certain personality, which makes him different from the crowd. Your husband would definitely be special in more than one way. Tell him how he is good and how he can be himself always. Appreciate your husband for things he does for you and the family.
54. “I love the way you always know how to make me feel better when I’m down”
From making a cup of coffee to taking you out to your favorite place, he does many things to bring a smile to your face. He is the one who uplifts your spirit when everything around you feels gloomy. Since he is the beacon of hope that shines in the darkest hours, never miss a chance to tell him how special he is to you. Acknowledging the support and strength he gives to you will make him feel appreciated. It will also help the love between you two grow stronger each day.
Things You Should Not Tell Your Husband
Anger usually gets the better of us, but if we can hold our tongue at the right moment, it would benefit us very well. While frustrations are a part of every relationship, some things should never be said out aloud.
55. “I always do everything”
While it is true that you may be busy around the house all day, it is probably far from true that you do everything alone. This is something that many women make the mistake of saying. Instead of talking about how you do and complaining about how little he does, focus on what he does do and praise him for it. You will notice some big changes soon. When you show your words of appreciation for the things your husband does, no matter how small, he will want to please you more and make more of an effort to help around the house.
56. “You’re just like your father”
When you compare your husband unfavorably to his father, it can lead to feelings of resentment and insecurity. Negative or demeaning comments or remarks can shatter his self-worth and confidence. So, do not draw comparisons or pass hurtful statements just to prove your point. Remember, no matter how hard things get between you and him, respectfully treating each other is the only way to resolve conflicts with dignity.
57. “Let me show you how it’s done”
As you know, men feel good about themselves when they think that they can solve life’s problems, no matter how small. When you step in and direct your husband’s behavior, especially if he has not asked you to, it is a direct message to him saying that he is not competent. If you have any suggestions, start them off by saying something like, “I have a suggestion, if you’d like.” This way, you sound more like you are just trying to help rather than insulting him and saying that you can do better than him.
58. “I regret marrying you”
Expressing regret about your marriage can be deeply painful and damaging to the foundation of your relationship. It erodes trust and appreciation, creating emotional distance and potentially causing irreparable harm. So, refrain from negatively commenting on your marriage. Instead, share your expectations and aspirations with your partner. Help him understand your perspective so he can get a fair chance to introspect his actions that might have hurt you.
59. “You never listen to me”
Accusing your husband of not listening to you is a mistake that you should avoid making. Apart from being untrue, it is an unfair thing to say to your partner. Many women say this when they have a fight with their boyfriend or husband as they know it strikes a nerve. Saying anything in an accusatory tone should be avoided even if it is true, so watch how you utter these words. Instead of accusing him, let him gently know that his actions disappointed you and that you would like him to start listening to you more, just as you listen to him.
60. “I can’t believe I have to remind you of this again”
Telling your husband that he is forgetful or incompetent can negatively affect his self-esteem. Continuously reminding him of tasks can be seen as nagging and may result in resentment and strained communication. So, avoid taking any path that knocks off his self-respect. Often, subtly conveying your expectations and using gentle statements like “Hey, just a little reminder about..” or “I was wondering if you remember to…” can go miles in averting unnecessary conflicts.
61. “Stay away from me”
As you know, we often say things in the heat of the moment and later regret it. This is one of those things. This sentence can hurt your husband’s feelings, especially if you say it during a fight. It will sound like you are pushing him away, and that is not something that anyone, including you, would like. It can be satisfying to say something hurtful to someone, but you will probably regret it later so refrain from doing so. Remember sometimes words can make your partner feel useless.
62. “You never make me feel special”
Using that phrase may unintentionally devalue his efforts to make you feel appreciated. Additionally, it can negatively affect your emotional bonding. He might start feeling unimportant or incapable of meeting your emotional needs, which can further damage his self-esteem. Remember, he might not be doing things as you expect him to, but entirely disregarding his efforts is not the right way to express your dissatisfaction.
63. “What is wrong with you?”
This is one of the worst things you could say to your husband. It is one thing if it is a joke, but if you seriously mean, it can make your husband feel low. For instance, if you said it because he forgot to pick up milk at the store, you can rest assured that he will never offer to pick it up again. Attacking someone with words is not the best way to express your feelings so make sure you are careful how you do it. It is an annoying trait that could end up creating a rift between you and your husband.
64. “You don’t contribute enough around the house”
Constantly criticizing your husband for being lazy can have detrimental effects on his self-esteem and overall motivation. It creates a negative environment that can strain the relationship and increase tension between you.
65. “That’s all you did?”
So, the world is not perfect, and your husband missed a few chores while you were out. If you expected something from your husband but did not articulate it, you should own up to it rather than letting him feel like a major disappointment. For example, if you asked him to tidy up the kids’ room and he put all the toys in one corner of the room and pulled the blankets over the bed. You did not give your husband specific details on how to organize the kids’ room so he did it the best way he could. Instead of saying this, you can tell him that you appreciate his help and that next time, you will be more specific about how to clean up the room. Your husband will appreciate this and will want to do better in the future too.
66. “You never take my side”
Expressing your feelings of being unsupported can be impactful, but using such a phrase may inadvertently convey doubt about your husband’s loyalty. It can potentially hinder your faith and trust in each other. In addition, it can make your husband feel underestimated or unappreciated.
67. “What on earth were you thinking?!”
Consider a scenario where your husband comes home and shares how a plan backfired on him. He will be looking for compassion and your support. He did not ask for your opinion. All he wanted to do was get it off his chest and not be treated as a joke or a failure. You could try saying, “If it were me, I would’ve done…” You do not have to say too much as you may end up saying something wrong or ugly. Just keep it non-critical and simple.
68. “I’m stuck with you, aren’t I?”
Telling your partner you feel trapped with him can evoke a sense of rejection and hopelessness in him. It may also make him feel disregarded and devalued. While you may feel a certain way for some reason, using statements that belittle another person’s self-worth can damage the relationship irreparably. In fact, it can exacerbate any existing insecurities in the relationship and hinder mutual respect.
69. “You’re pathetic”
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This is something you should never, and we mean NEVER say, no matter how much you want to hurt your husband. Even if he said something critical and sounded like he was attacking you, giving it back in the same coin is far from an ideal solution. Be direct and also, be the grown up. Tell him that if he is angry, frustrated or upset, he should talk to you as a partner and an adult instead of using harsh words to vent his frustration. This is an effective way to make sure that he learns to communicate in a more mature way.
70. “You’re such a disappointment”
Using derogatory statements to describe your partner, such as labeling him as a disappointment, can shatter his self-esteem. It can also trigger an unsettling feeling of self-doubt. So, no matter how disappointed you may feel with your husband, constructively conveying your dissatisfaction is the only way to express yourself without hampering the foundations of your relationship.
71. “My ex was always good…”
No matter what happens, you CANNOT say this to your husband. Just assume your husband told this to you, how miserable would you feel about it? That is exactly how he would also feel. People are different, and while some may be good at certain things, some are good at certain other things. You should never demean your husband by comparing him to anyone, especially to your ex.
72. “You don’t care about my feelings”
Your husband might not be fulfilling your emotional needs as you expect him to, but you should not accuse him of not making any effort. Emotional bonding between partners is vital to foster love and mutual respect. Hence, if you feel your husband does not care about your feelings, openly share your feelings with him. When you do so, be mindful that your words and phrases do not appear like blames or accusations.
73. “Watch the kids tonight but don’t mess up!”
Sure, your husband may not have been handling or taking care of the kids as often as you do, but that does not give you the leverage to order him around or teach him how to take care of children. He has been by your side and knows what’s to be done when needed. He may have his way of playing with the kids or taking care of them, and you must respect that. Of course, tell him that you would be available in case he needed help with something but avoid teaching him to do things your way, especially when it comes to kids.
74. “You’re useless in a crisis”
When you categorize your partner as incapable during tough times significantly hurts their self-worth and assurance. Such a critique might deter them from offering assistance and foster an emotional distance between you and your partner.
75. “I’m fine; I’m okay!”
Those two phrases right there are the most dangerous ones that a husband ever wants to listen to. Experience has taught your husband that when you say you’re fine or okay, you’re the opposite. They may not be able to gauge a certain situation. Do not leave them guessing about what went wrong or frustrated about not knowing what to do. Tell him what hurt you and made you feel neglected without venting your frustration. Chances are he will not repeat the scenario. Related: 10 Signs You are in a Love-hate Relationship
76. “You’re a terrible provider”
Doubting a man’s capacity to provide can profoundly impact his self-esteem and perception of his masculinity. Such comments can foster resentment and weaken his sense of purpose within the relationship.
77. “Why can’t you be more like ______?”
And why can’t you, as a wife, be fair? It is bad to make comparisons and while comparing your husband to your ex is blasphemy, comparing him to anyone else is equally bad. You may see a few flaws in our husband, and you may want to get rid of them for the good of the relationship, but asking him to be someone else is just not right. This would not only mean that you do not like your husband as he is, but also that you trust and like another person more than your husband. No one, let alone a husband, would want to hear this. Unhealthy comparisons like fat-shaming or calling them incompetent will only deteriorate your relationship.
78. “I can’t stand being around you”
When someone expresses their inability to tolerate another person’s presence, it can deeply affect the individual, causing feelings of rejection and lovelessness. This emotional distance may ultimately result in isolation and a further deterioration in emotional connection. So, think twice before using a phrase that sounds outright demeaning or belittling to the other person.
79. “You would understand if you loved me”
No, darling! He would understand you if you told him what went wrong. You may be emotional, and emotions do get the better of us, but if your husband were not understanding he wouldn’t still be around while you are sobbing away. He cares for you. He loves you immensely, which is why he wants to be a part of all your joys and help you in your sorrows. Do not depreciate his efforts and make him feel stupid by saying harsh things. If he has hurt you, let him know how you are feeling unloved and why.
80. “You’re a terrible listener”
Being labeled a poor listener can discourage your husband from engaging in open communication. This label implies that their efforts to understand you are inadequate. It can ultimately result in nothing but more misunderstandings.
81. “Your family is bad!”
We are all very sensitive about our families and can never hear anything against the people with whom we have lived since our birth. There are a variety of emotions that we share with them, besides the blood bond, which make them very special to us. You may feel bad about something that a family member has done but instead of abusing them outright in selfish tones, tell your husband what you didn’t like. This would not only give you some peace of mind, but also help him solve a crisis and take care of things before matters go out of hand.
82. “You ruin everything”
Placing blame on him for perceived failures can foster an environment characterized by negativity and criticism. Such a statement may result in a defensive stance and discourage his active involvement in shared activities. Remember, painting fingers never helps in conflict resolution. Instead, clear and respectful communication with an honest acceptance of one’s mistakes paves the way for a lasting bond.
83. “I don’t like your friends!”
We are all partly identified by the company that we keep. If you do not like his friends, chances are you do not like something in him as well. It is good to point out a certain characteristic of the group that you dislike, but disliking his friends altogether is rude. If you do happen to have a strong dislike, have a strong reason as well. Just because he may be spending a tad bit more time with them, giving you the jealousy streaks, do not hate his friends.
84. “I deserve better than this”
Implying that someone deserves a better partner can directly attack their worthiness, undermining their efforts to bring happiness and potentially triggering feelings of inadequacy and hopelessness.
85. “Don’t start this again…!!!”
This probably happens to be the most common phrase in a marriage. Yes, we are habituated to doing some things in certain ways, living or having a certain lifestyle, and even being a certain way. This may lead to conflicts but using the above phrase simply means that you want to have the upper hand in the debate, or you want to shut matters downright. You do not want a room for discussion and have no interest in doing the same. You’d rather go to bed in a foul mood than resolve an issue.
86. “You don’t understand me at all”
When you start questioning whether your partner genuinely comprehends your emotions and thoughts, it can create a feeling of emotional detachment. Such remarks often result in frustration and hinder effective communication within the relationship.
87. “I’m tired of pretending to be happy”
Telling your partner that you just pretend to be happy in your relationship can be deeply hurtful for them. While it is okay to convey that you do not feel satisfied or pleased with how things are going, saying that you are faking happiness outright disregards another person’s efforts in building a relationship. Relationships face ups and downs, and there will be days when you may feel unhappy with your spouse, but working together in identifying and resolving issues is the best way to value your relationship.
88. “I wish I never married you!”
Image: Shutterstock
This phrase doesn’t just break a heart but shatters it. Imagine all the memories come collapsing down the moment you uttered these words. Saying something as extreme as this only means that you do not respect the relationship. This would force your husband to think that you can live without him and that the love may never have existed at all. This could also lead to further rejection in the relationship.
89. “I’m ashamed of being with you”
Admitting to feeling ashamed of your relationship with your husband can significantly damage his self-esteem and create emotional distance. Such a comment can have a long-lasting effect on how he perceives himself. So, never use derogatory phrases to express dissatisfaction or discontentment with him.
90. “It is all your fault!”
You cannot clap with one hand, and it is never one person’s fault. Yes, there may be times when it is no one’s fault, and the situation may have risen entirely due to a lack of communication or a misunderstanding. This is when you need to ask yourself if blaming your husband for it all is a good idea. While you need not take the entire blame upon yourself, do not blame him either. Assess the situation and try and understand why something went wrong. Remember, communication is the key.
91. “You’re a failure as a husband”
When you label him as a husband who has failed, it directly undermines his role and identity. This kind of statement can cause emotional detachment and strain the very foundation of their relationship.
There are some things you shouldn’t say to your husband. Be it during an intense discussion or after a fight, you must be mindful of what you say to each other. Being gentle and respectful of one another and consistently trying to use pleasant words could help to a large extent even to resolve a fight or to help them understand your point of view. Incorporating encouraging words for your husband into your daily interactions can also strengthen your relationship. You may get too busy preparing meals, feeding the kids, grocery shopping, or cleaning the house that you might overlook what you are saying to your spouse. However, once you have understood what to say and what not to, you can easily avoid heartbreak, anger, and unpleasant vibes. Also, ensure that your partner does not feel unappreciated or unwanted. A few words of appreciation and encouragement for your husband can make your marriage grow and strengthen your bond.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. How should not a wife treat her husband?
A wife should not treat her husband with disrespect. She should not try to change him or manipulate him. She shouldn’t be needy or try controlling him.
2. Is it okay not to tell my partner everything?
Not telling your partner everything can be beneficial for your relationship. You need not tell your partner irrelevant stuff about your past relationships. Also, don’t talk about your dislike for a friend, his family member, or the charming male colleague at the office.
3. What is not okay in a relationship?
Lying, infidelity, physical and emotional abuse, and obsession are not okay in a relationship. You should also not resort to gaslighting, controlling, and manipulation to maintain a fruitful relationship.
Infographic: Words To Say And Not To Say To Husbands
Communication has a vital role in marriage. Expressing love, showing concern, and being understanding are important, but at the same time, disrespectful words and an egoistic tone can be harmful. Therefore, knowing what to say and avoid is crucial to maintaining a healthy relationship. This infographic includes a few things you should know when talking to your husband, as it can greatly influence your relationship dynamics.
Illustration: Momjunction Design Team
Illustration: Things You Should And Shouldn’t Say To Your Husband
Image: Stable Diffusion/MomJunction Design Team
Feeling frustrated in your marriage? Learn what words a wife should never say to her husband in this helpful video!
Personal Experience: Source
MomJunction articles include first-hand experiences to provide you with better insights through real-life narratives. Here are the sources of personal accounts referenced in this article.
i. Yes, ladies, it is your job to make your husband happy;https://medium.com/thrive-global/yes-ladies-it-is-your-job-to-make-your-husband-happy-c2bbdeaf5c8c
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