How To Move On From A Toxic Relationship: 15 Tips

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Toxic relationships can adversely affect your mental health and self-esteem. Therefore, it is important to learn how to move on from a toxic relationship. Remember, you deserve to own your identity and not surrender to someone who doesn’t regard you as an individual. No one would ever like to be within set boundaries and feel suffocated, disrespected, and even abused.

We want you to move away from the toxicity and build your life independently. So here are some ways to help you move ahead with your chin up and head high.

How To Move On From A Toxic Relationship: 15 Effective Tips

1. Accept the situation

You might never have imagined being in a toxic relationship. You never knew your partner would be harmful. But it happened. And now you must be thinking about how to heal from a toxic relationship. Some episodes in life are not in your control. Accept the present, acknowledge that it happened, and know it is not your fault. Letting go and moving on from what has happened will help in your mental healing and recovery.

A newly single mom shares how she’s trying to overcome the trauma after coming out of a toxic marriage. She says, “After coming to terms with the reality of my marriage, I am working on reflection and self-healing…One of the hardest things I have tried to do is to recognize and acknowledge my self-worth. A toxic relationship teaches you that you are not worthy or not enough. Healing from these experiences and rediscovering myself has been one of the hardest things to do. And something that I struggle with on a daily basis.

“I have spent a lot of time and energy acknowledging that the relationship was toxic and hard. But what I have not acknowledged yet is that healing from a toxic relationship is also hard. Moving forward is hard. Learning to love yourself is hard. Learning that others can love you is hard (i).”

2. Don’t blame yourself

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Blaming yourself for someone else’s behavior will hold you in a bubble and hide the reality from you. You might be stressed building up self-doubt and regret that might take you to a vicious cycle of guilt and disappointment. When your partner is abusing, disrespecting, and manipulating you, it is their fault and not yours. Instead, process your emotions and think practically.

3. Practice self-care

You have always taken care of them and ignored yourself. You must have sacrificed your time and passion for your partner but got nothing in return. It’s time to upgrade yourself and become a strong and independent person. It’s time to focus on personal growth. Loosen yourself by: eating healthy food, exercising regularly by going for a walk or joining a yoga program, spending time with your loved ones, learning a new skill you always wanted to, getting sound sleep, and attaining mindfulness through activities like meditation. All these will help you make practical decisions in life.

Quick tip

Remove clutter from your life and bedroom. A clean, warm and serene bedroom environment can help you sleep better, which in turn, is the best mode of self-care.

4. Try to be patient

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It is difficult to come out of a relationship wherein you invested everything you had; it is still a grieving process. You loved your partner and might still be loving them. Hence, parting away from them could be difficult. But you have to. So, do not rush. Take your time; eventually, you will come out of it with positivity and empowerment.

5. Don’t rush into a new relationship

When a romantic relationship fails, some people feel a void and look for a rebound. Taking decisions in haste could prove to be a blunder. You should understand that you don’t need a person for happiness. It will help if you find that joy from within instead of looking for it here and there. So, halt dating for some time and live in the present.

6. Cut off from the toxic person

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You cannot move on from a toxic person if you communicate with them daily or live with them. Create space between you and them to think with a free mind and make the right decisions for your life. Try not to talk to them for a while. However, if children are involved, you may have to talk to them in certain situations. Talk straight to the point and try not to get emotional.

7. Don’t try to change your partner

They harmed you, didn’t care for you, and made you suffer. Do you still hope for them to change for you? Maybe a slim chance, but what if they remain the same? You must have given them many chances, and expecting a change in them will again take you on a painful ride. So it is better you move on without letting your happiness depend on someone.

8. Set boundaries

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A toxic person will keep themselves first. They will not consider your needs and desires and impose demands on you. To move away from them, set boundaries around yourself. Understand what you want and stick to them, do not let anyone cross your boundaries and trouble you. Only when you take care of yourself, others will eventually respect your limits.

Do remember

You have the right to set boundaries, and there is nothing wrong with keeping yourself on the top of the priority list.

9. Be kind to yourself

Moving away from the person you loved and admired once could be a herculean task. While doing so, you could be harsh on yourself, which is the wrong approach. You are already mentally stressed out, so it is essential to train your mind and strengthen it to face many hardships. You can try self-manifestation techniques and practice them every day after you wake up and before you go to bed. Some thoughts you may practice are “I’m strong and can face any challenge,” “I will be calm, come what may,” or “Just a few more days of struggle, be strong.”

10. Love yourself

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Being in a toxic relationship could eat away your self-worth. You may become a person you are not. When you are trying to come out of an unhealthy relationship, gather yourself, know who you are, count on your strengths, and stand up to your views. Only when you love yourself, you can have your identity, which cannot be touched or harmed by anyone. Positive affirmations are a great way to communicate love to yourself.

11. Don’t look back

Though you could be trying hard to move ahead, your past could be pulling you back. You had those beautiful moments with your partner that could be difficult to make progress by leaving them. Nonetheless, you have to for your better future. Try not to look back, as those memories might again land you up in trouble.

Quick tip

Try meditation to help yourself move on from the past. Meditation is about cleansing the mind’s thoughts and focusing on the present.

12. Talk it out

You don’t share your status with your family, thinking they might be stressed. You also don’t share with your friends, assuming they might not understand you. This way, you are building the negativity within yourself that does nothing but harm you mentally. It’s wise to share with someone you trust and release the pressure from your mind.

Point to consider

If you find talking to someone difficult or don’t have anyone to talk to, consider putting down your thoughts and feelings on paper. Journaling can be a great stress buster.

13. Stay distracted

Thinking of leaving the past and planning for the future leaves a void in between. Try to find something engaging to fill that space. Either go on a vacation alone, indulge in a skill you always wanted to learn, or take up a course. Do anything to distract yourself so you are not tangled in the same toxicity. However, ensure that you are doing it with a healthy mindset, and not just to avoid it.

Point to consider

You could volunteer at a local organization and contribute to society and help yourself. Volunteering may help you feel happier and more cheerful.

14. Don’t forget, but forgive

Your partner must have troubled you a lot. It is not so simple to forgive them. However, it is essential to let things go for a brighter future. Being angry towards them forever would take you back to the past again. Hence, dust yourself off so you can start afresh. Even though you did not receive closure from your ex, you gain it for yourself for your well-being. So embrace forgiveness while also remembering not to repeat your past mistakes.

15. Seek support

After trying many things, if you still find it challenging to get away from that toxic person or escape from the relationship, go for therapy. Self-reflection may not come easily to you, so counseling sessions with an expert will help you understand what’s holding you back and guide you through the process. They will give you certain exercises and monitor your healing process to figure out where you are stuck and how you can move ahead. Do not hesitate to get help when in need.

“The moment you start to wonder if you deserve better, you do.” -Unknown

Infographic: Practical Advice For Moving On From A Toxic Relationship

Toxicity in a relationship need not always be physical or emotional abuse; it can manifest in many ways. Even after a relationship has ended, you may feel emotionally spent and heartbroken. In the infographic below, we share some valuable advice on moving on with your life after ending a toxic relationship.

Illustration: Momjunction Design Team

Illustration: How To Move On From A Toxic Relationship: 15 Tips

Image: Dall·E/MomJunction Design Team

Let go of the pain, move on from the hurt, and heal your broken heart. Find the courage to start anew and create a life of joy and peace.

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Jessica JeffersonMA, MS, LMFT

Jessica Jefferson is a licensed marriage and family therapist and a certified perinatal mental health professional who is trained to help clients suffering from mental health disorders like anxiety and depression. She graduated with a Bachelors in Psychology from the University of Miami, a Masters in Psychology in Education from Teachers College, Columbia University and a Masters in Family Therapy from Nova Southeastern University.

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Shikha ThakurMBA

Shikha is a writer-turned-editor at MomJunction, with over seven years of experience in the field of content. Having done a certification in Relationship Coaching, her core interest lies in writing articles that guide couples through their courtship to marriage and parenthood.

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Akshay is an associate editor and former journalist with more than four years of experience. A post graduate in Mass Communication and Journalism, he has strong professional and academic background in the field of content writing and editing.

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Benidamika J LatamMA, MSc

Benidamika holds a masters degree in Counseling Psychology from Assam Don Bosco University and another masters degree in English Literature from North Eastern Hill University. At MomJunction, Benidamika writes on human psychology and relationships.

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