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What is true love? Most people believe it is the unconditional affection and commitment to another person that is characterized by a deep connection, mutual respect, and implicit trust. Everyone wishes to experience love, but most will not answer the same with conviction if you ask them what true love is. Some say it doesn’t exist, while others say it is omnipresent. Its presence so engulfs the people who have fallen in love that they cannot see anything beyond it.
Love is the most beautiful experience in the world. If you find a person who loves you genuinely, it is a blessing in your life. Love gives happiness and strength. However, while some people find love easily, others struggle with it.
So, if you are wondering what this experience is, this post can guide you. Read on to know about true love, its signs, and how to make the experience last forever.
Key Pointers
- True love is a selfless feeling where you love each other unconditionally without any limitations.
- There is support and understanding without expecting anything in return.
- To find true love, you need to love yourself first, so it helps in understanding others.
What Is True Love?
True love is a sense of absolute affection, devotion, fondness, and warm feelings towards a person and does not get altered easily. You love a person truly when you are willing to give up your happiness for theirs, and love them for who they are, warts and all.
However, the idea of true love and ardor can vary for different people. For some, it could be loving without expectations, and for some others, it is a passionate bond that makes them care deeply for each other. When you truly love someone, you give them your all, without any limitations or exceptions. Writer Michelle Marie Warner recalls the time she was truly in love with someone. She talks about the power of unconditional love, which led her to finally let go of the person she loved. She says, “The man I love is getting on a plane to explore the Everglades. I love him because of his never-ending sense of adventure. I love him because he’s spontaneous. I love that he loves himself enough to fulfill his desires… Most importantly, I love him enough to let him go. Not only on this trip but entirely. I’ve never been able to let go of anyone like this before. I’ve held on too tightly in the past, and it only pushed others away. Now I’m letting go with ease. (i).”
What Does True Love Feel Like?
Apart from the ‘butterflies in the belly’ feeling and the happiness that seems to follow you everywhere, true love offers three important things that lay a solid foundation for your relationship. If you can relate to these three things, then you may be able to answer the questions, “What does true love or adoration feel like?” and “Why do we fall in love?”
. If you can relate to these three things, then you may be able to answer the question, “What does true love or adoration feel like.”
- Safety or security: Did you ever wonder why babies sleep better in their mothers’ arms? Because they know they are safe there. A relationship that can give you peace of mind and safety is based on true love. When you love a person with all your heart, you will never put them in a situation that compromises their safety. True love also connotes a sense of empathy, which allows you to be open with your partner about your feelings and needs. So, if you are in a relationship that makes you feel safe physically, emotionally, and mentally, you already know how it feels to be truly loved.
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- Recognition: When your partner’s love for you is true, you will know that they’re going to be there for you no matter what. You don’t have to work hard to get their attention. If you have something to say, they will sit with you and hear you out. At the same time, they would also recognize the small things you do for them, and either compliment or reciprocate them.
- Stability: No matter how hard things may get, a person who truly loves you will not leave you alone. You can go through hell, but their presence will make it all worth it. Giving up is never an option when you love someone, and couples who stand by each other will fight through adversity and come out stronger than ever. Whether it is a tough financial situation or a family feud, there is nothing in the world that can change your love for one another. There is a deep attachment between partners when it comes to true love, and the thought of leaving never arises.
If this is true love, what is not?
What Isn’t True Love?
There is a thin line between true love and inauthentic love. Many couples accept abuse and ill-treatment, mistaking them for care and love. So how do you differentiate? Here are a few pointers to help.
- Abuse of any kind under the guise of care is not true love. If your partner is physically abusing you to get their way, it is not love.
- Being possessive and controlling in the name of protection is not love. True love is built on trust, and if your partner is restricting you from going out or talking to friends, then it is possessiveness and jealousy, but not love.
- A partner who is overly dependent on you, restricting your growth, may not really love you. True love helps both the partners grow while enabling them to love each other enough to spend their lives together.
- If your partner gets angry at any negative feedback or shuts you out for sharing your feelings, then it may not be true love.
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- If both of you are keeping scores or having a tit-for-tat mentality, then you both need to stop and evaluate your love. True love doesn’t expect; it just offers unconditionally. Writer A. Marie shares her experience with a person whom she loved. He loved her back, too, but expected grandiose gestures from her just as he was used to doing for her. She says in her blog, “It turns out his love and adoration had a price tag, and that was me reciprocating his affections in the same grandiose manner in which he expressed his. This became a point of contention between us. We don’t get to tell other people how to love, and I resisted his attempts to do so. My love expression may not have had as many bells and whistles, but it was still clear and abundant (ii).” This relationship eventually ended.
Are You Ready For True Love?
True love is indeed a precious feeling, and everyone longs to experience it. If cupid doesn’t magically bring true love into your life, how do you find it? While there is no sure shot formula to find true love, there are a few tips to increase your chances.
- Make yourself open for true love. Before you start your journey of finding true love, you need to prepare yourself for it. For starters, develop a positive attitude that can pave the way for happiness and joy in life. True love means to be able to accept a person as they are and also to forgive their mistakes and still love them. For you to be able to do that, you must first accept yourself.
- Have a clear idea of what you want. It is important to understand the qualities you want in your partner. Also, know that it may not be possible to find all those qualities in a person (and that is okay). But having a clear idea of what you expect and what you can offer to the relationship can make it easier to find love.
- To find true love, you must first love yourself. How can you love someone when you do not love yourself? Self-love is not being narcissistic. Loving yourself is about being comfortable in your own skin, enjoying solitude and being happy with how you look, talk or dress, and not needing another person to “feel complete.” Such self-confidence will not only make you attractive but also help you in understanding others.
- Stop looking for it and start being yourself. We understand if you feel that you cannot wait to find true love. But going on a quest or forcing yourself to find it will only leave you disappointed, or worse, with the wrong person. Instead, be yourself, do things that make you happy, and spend time with people who share similar interests. Understand your own values, ambitions, and desires to identify what true love means to you. And when the time is right, you may bump into that person who could be your true love.
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- Stop fearing the worst. Our past experiences and insecurities can prevent us from opening up. This could be a natural mechanism to protect ourselves from pain and hurt. But, if you always fear the worst and close yourself off, you are reducing your chances of finding true love. Confidence is the key to finding true love. So deal with your fear, and step out of your comfort zone.
- Good things come to those who wait. You cannot expect to find true love overnight. Even after you find someone compatible, it takes time to reach a state where you truly, unconditionally love each other. True love is not necessarily instant. So do not rush things and force yourself or that person into a relationship that neither of you is ready for.
Take things slowly, spend time with each other, and become best friends. But, if things don’t work out, do not give up. Learn from that experience and move on.
If you have found someone special, then look for some of these signs to know if they are the one.
Signs Of True Love
True love can make a relationship strong and long-lasting. It can change you into a better person, and it could also be one of the best things to have happened in your life. But how do you know you really have it? Read more to find out..
1. You are transparent
When two people love each other genuinely, they would want to be transparent with each other. No lies or hiding facts. Whether it is about a text from an old flame or a huge financial loss, nothing is hidden in the relationship. You would also want to share everything about your life: your past, present, as well as the plans for the future with your partner.
2. You do not resort to petty games
True love will never have any malicious intentions. You love them without any conditions attached. Someone with ulterior motives would play games to manipulate and get their way. For example, they’d use sex or expensive gifts to get the partner to do things for them. That is not real love.
Point to consider3. Your eyes and heart do not wander
There will always be someone prettier or more successful than your partner, but you will not be interested if you truly love them. Your love would be so strong that no matter how good someone might seem, you will find qualities in your partner that are better. Devotedness is a crucial part of true love. It’s your unwavering commitment and loyalty to your partner, even in the face of challenges and difficulties. Even in those times when you find yourself in a compromising situation, you will say NO! And run back to your partner. Such is the power of true love.
4. You do not focus on their flaws
When we say flaw, we mean trivial things like laziness to do the laundry, not being punctual, etc. Such things can be overlooked when you love someone, as no one is perfect. You have your flaws too!
But, this doesn’t mean you tolerate abuse, or infidelity, which are not mere flaws. If you don’t mind your partner being a little rough around the edges, then you are genuinely in love.
5. You are kind and generous to them
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One of the most important aspects of true love is the ability to cherish the person you love. When you truly love someone, you idolize them and shower them with adulation. You will do anything to see a smile on their face. You would go out of your way to be kind and generous towards them. You cannot shout at or demean your partner and call it love! When you truly love someone, you treat them with kindness and are generous towards their mistakes. A touch that exudes tenderness and a simple caress can communicate more than words ever could, conveying the depth of your emotions instantly.
6. You respect and treat them as your equal
Respect is another form of true love. If you truly love your partner, you would admire their views, life choices, and opinions. You will treat them as your equal and trust their decisions. You will see good in them and believe that their exceptional qualities make your life better.
7. You share their sorrows and support them
Love is not always about how happy you both are, and true love knows this. If you have found your true love, you can never leave them alone during tough times. You would not think twice about supporting them. Your first instinct would be to leave everything and comfort them when they need it.
8. You try to see things from their perspective
True love only knows the difference between self-care and selfishness. So, when you are in a relationship with someone you love, you genuinely try to understand and see things from their perspective. During conflicts, you can see their true intentions and would not judge them for wanting something different.
If you could relate to these signs, then you are lucky to have found true love. But do not be disappointed if you couldn’t relate to it. If you are in a relationship where you and your partner love and value each other, then do not think less of it just because you are not feeling an out-of-the-world connection.
9. You sacrifice for them
True love lets you put your partner’s needs and well-being first. This might involve compromises and adjustments that may be equated to sacrifices on one’s part. For example, you may prioritize the likes and dislikes of your partner over yours. This may range from simple things like choosing a wall color or decor in your house to serious ones such as giving up on a job opportunity. However, true love involves sacrifices to be made by both partners and not the same person every time.
10. You share words of encouragement
When you are truly in love with your partner, you take pride in your partner’s success. You share words of encouragement and constantly push them to do better. Such words can be pillars of support when your partner is feeling low and starts questioning their abilities. This encouragement fosters your bond and keeps the love intact in the relationship.
11. You have common goals and values
Even though you may not agree on everything, when you are truly in love with your partner, your core goals and values will align. You will respect and support each other’s achievements and motivate them to dream bigger. Your values, regarding trust, respect, accountability, and growth will coincide, as you will want the best for each other.
How To Make True Love Last?
Being truly loved is a rare and special experience that not everyone gets to enjoy. If you have been lucky enough to have found it, it is good to know how to make it last.
- When you are fortunate enough to find true love, never take it for granted. If your partner is showering you with unconditional love, value it and try to reciprocate. If they love you enough to accept your weaknesses and let your mistakes slide, it is because they truly love you, and not because their life is dependent on you. So, to make your true love last, you need to work at it too.
- No matter how busy you are in life, or how old your relationship might be, never underestimate the importance of spending quality time together. This allows you both to talk to each other and share your feelings. So, pick up a hobby and use it to have fun and love each other a little more each day.
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- Do the little things and random acts of kindness that can create magic in your relationship. It shows your partner that even after all these years, you still love them the same. Also, selflessness is a sign of true love.
- Let go of the past. If you loved your partner enough to forgive their mistakes, never bring them up in the future. You had the strength to move on from the murky past, so if you want to keep it, let go of it, and look toward the future.
- Be honest. Honesty is one of the most important things in a relationship. It is the foundation to true love; if you have nothing to hide from each other, then you are already halfway through showing true love. Honesty builds trust, and with trust, your love comes out stronger than ever.
- Show genuine care. If you truly love your partner, then show it in your actions by caring for each other’s physical and emotional well being. Also, support each other and tackle any issue as a team.
- Communicate openly and often. Don’t bottle up your feelings and let your partner know if anything is bothering you. Be transparent and have honest conversations with each other. This will strengthen your emotional bond, which is essential for long-lasting love.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. What is the highest form of love?
Selfless love is the pinnacle of endearment as it is unconditional, requiring no recompense, yet with utmost compassion for the other.
2. How do I know if it’s true love or infatuation?
Infatuation can feel like an intense rapture that often starts with a strong physical attraction and a longing for that person, and while it can be exciting, it’s important to look deeper for emotional depth. True love, on the other hand, is characterized by a deep understanding and compassion for the other person, and a genuine desire for their happiness. This type of love involves making sacrifices and is a lifelong commitment, with feelings that only grow stronger over time. By focusing on these deeper aspects, you can recognize true love and build a fulfilling relationship.
3. Can true love fade away?
True love doesn’t disappear, but your expression of love may change as the relationship gets stronger and more mature. For example, as your comfort level and trust increase and connection deepens, you may not feel the butterflies like the initial days, or there may be days of arguments and solidarity, which is natural in all relationships.
4. Does true love come naturally?
True love may develop naturally when you meet the one you can connect with emotionally, be vulnerable without judgment, and feel a strong physical pull. But nurturing the relationship towards stability and understanding is a mutual conscious effort.
5. How many times do we fall in true love?
There may not be a set limit to how often someone can experience true love. It depends on the person they meet, their personal situation, past experiences, and emotions.
6. Why is true love hard to find?
Finding true love may sometimes be difficult because it needs the right mix of being a good match, meeting at the right time, and feeling a strong connection. Those things may not happen together at the same time due to life’s complexities and personal situations. The key is to keep an open mind, have patience, and prioritize one’s worth to find the right one.
7. Is true love only found in romantic relationships?
True love isn’t limited to romantic couples. It can also happen between friends, family members, and other relationships where they really care about each other selflessly and share a strong emotional bond.
8. Can true love exist without physical attraction?
Although love is more than physical touch, it is as important to feel physically attracted to each other as it is to have a strong emotional connection and understanding for a long-lasting and fulfilling bond. Thus true love requires all the pillars of a successful relationship and may become challenging without any one of them.
9. How does true love impact personal growth and development?
A couple in true love can inspire one another to become the better version of themselves. They support each other in their passion and guide them through challenges while ensuring they take time for themselves to unwind. Couples in such relationships develop self-confidence and respect due to the boost from their partners and thus can lead fulfilling lives.
10. Can true love exist in long-distance relationships?
Yes, true love is possible in a long-distance relationship with mutual efforts. Regular communications, virtual fun activities such as movie dates and games, planning trips for the next meet, and sending thoughtful gifts can foster a strong and healthy long-distance relationship.
True love is a deep and emotional connection you establish with someone you are ready to be with your entire life without any conditions. To find true love, you need to be open to it and love yourself. You must be patient and open-hearted, and value your emotions and desires. This way, you will know how you want to be loved and understood. True love will not be far away once you’ve learned to do that, and the right person will come along. The subtle yet obvious signs will guide you towards your person. Nurture your love with care, understanding, and trust, and hold on to your true love, for it is a blessing that many people may struggle to find.
Infographic: Signs Of True Love
True love is when you do not just adore your loved one but also respect, care, and never abuse or mistreat them. Here is an infographic that presents more signs and characteristics of true love. Illustration: Momjunction Design Team
Illustration: What is True love and what does it feel like?
Image: Stable Diffusion/MomJunction Design Team
Personal Experience: Source
MomJunction articles include first-hand experiences to provide you with better insights through real-life narratives. Here are the sources of personal accounts referenced in this article.
i. When I found my true love.https://psiloveyou.xyz/when-i-found-my-true-love-95a2710a3188ii. I learned that “your one true love is yourself” the hard way.
https://medium.com/mindfully/i-learned-that-your-one-true-love-is-yourself-the-hard-way-acb81fb52533
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