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Men always want to be a woman’s first love – women like to be a man’s last romance. – Oscar Wilde
What women want in a relationship has never been an easy question to answer. Men assume women are difficult to understand, but it’s a combination of little things that make all the difference. Adding to this, Philadelphia-based author and social worker Feminista Jones says, “I’ve had enough chats with men who feel they don’t really know what women want or feel women aren’t clear in their communication about their needs (i).” Women love having all your attention on them. Being the most important person in your life makes them feel secure and happy. They want you to love them forever and be by their side. Although love is important, women want and expect more than that. So, we have curated some information and tips regarding what makes women happy and the things you can do to make them feel special and deepen your relationship. You can try and apply them in your life to see the difference. Read on to learn more.
12+ Things Women Needs To Have In A Relationship
Each woman is different from the other, and so are her expectations. However, there are some basic things that every woman hopes for in her marriage.
1. Love and affection are the foundations:
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Women long for affection in their relationship, whether they are newly married or have spent a couple of years in their marriage. They like to know that they are valued and loved by their husbands.
Men thinking about how to be a good husband should know that spending quality time with their wives, showing affection, and paying attention to their small demands and wishes are the primary necessities. Men should strive to be sweet in their words and kind in their actions.
2. A bit of admiration can do wonders:
Tell your wife how her bright smile makes your day. And that will make her day! Your small words of appreciation make her happy. Praise her for her qualities — she may be a good cook, a good painter, a great homemaker, a caring mother, or a successful career woman who is a pro at her work. Respect her dedication to her work and do not insult her work.
Even if your wife is a stay-at-home mom, her contribution to the family is immense and she needs that recognition from you.
3. A husband addicted to her:
If your wife is out of the city or has gone to her parents’ place, let her know that you are missing her. Show her how much you are addicted to her. Women like their men to miss them.
4. She needs attention:
Women do not want a husband who is more attracted to his smartphone than to his wife.
Would you appreciate it if your wife is busy browsing on the phone when you try to talk to her about something important? Similarly, she, too, expects you to listen to her with attention. Do not brush aside her concerns or worries as trivial.
Pay attention to her when she needs you. It reflects your love for her.
5. A partner who is a friend:
She enters into a hitherto unfamiliar life, and you are the only person she can trust. You are the only one with whom she can share her thoughts and speak her mind.
In short, she seeks a friend in you, a friend who is there with her always and forever. Give her company, spend time with her, crack jokes, and pursue some common interests to strengthen your beautiful relationship.
This sentiment is echoed by an anonymous married mother of two and grandmother of eight from South California. She writes in her blog, “I am not embarrassed to say that my husband is my best friend. I’m not talking about the warm, fuzzy, ‘you complete me’ kind of sentiment… But, I am talking about a safe, comfortable, peace of mind relationship where there is shared history, shared experiences, and simple pleasure in each others company. I’m talking about that safe place and that loved place (ii).”
Quick tip6. Encouragement to follow her dreams:
Your wife might have compromised on her career or hobbies to make time for you and the kids. Encourage her to take up a job again so that she can fulfill her dreams. She will not feel deprived or live with disappointment that she hasn’t achieved what she wanted in life.
Rather than being judgemental, support her in her endeavors. She will be proud of you forever.
7. A bond of equals:
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Marriage is a bond of two persons who are equals. It is a partnership and the husband is not superior to the wife. Women want a partner who believes in equality. They want a person who values their opinions, and not put them down. They want a best friend, not a dictator.
A good marital relationship exists if the couple celebrates its success together.
8. Physical satisfaction:
Physical intimacy is as important to women as it is to men. They love to get involved in the pleasure of mating. Involvement in a healthy intimate relationship can keep the spark alive in a marriage.
9. A shoulder to cry on:
No matter how mature the woman is, during a time of despair she wants a shoulder to cry on. She expects her husband to empathize with her, understand her, and tell her he is there for her.
10. Understanding and forgiveness
To err is human. But to forgive is divine. Learn to forgive your wife if she has been hurtful with her words, or did something that she should not have done. When she tries to explain her version, understand her perspective, and that will help you forgive her wholeheartedly. Forgiveness will make you magnanimous.
11. Open Dialogue About Expectations
Women like it when their partners talk openly about what they want in the relationship. When both partners express their needs and hopes, it helps prevent misunderstandings. Effective communication about what a partner wants can help build trust and deepen a relationship.
12. Holding eye contact
Maybe your wife wants to have a deeper emotional bond with you. By looking into her eyes, you can communicate feelings of love, affection, understanding, or even desire without saying a word. It can also be an indicator that you are engaged and attentive to her, which can lead to more effective and meaningful conversations.
Point to consider13. A husband who supports her with a “yes”
Are you a ‘yes-man’ or a ‘no-man’? Being a yes-man does not mean that you agree with everything your wife says. It means being positive. If you keep saying ‘no’ to everything that your wife or kids ask for, they stop asking you for anything. Instead, they do things clandestinely, which could be dangerous for them. Encourage your wife with a yes, and you would become her confidante.
The most important thing in a relationship for women is the husband’s support. If a man can truly care and love his wife, they can live ‘happily ever after’.
But for such a dreamy relationship, a man needs to fulfill a number of expectations his wife has on him. Who said being a husband is easy, anyway?
What A Woman Expects From Her Husband
Hard work pays. Strive to meet your wife’s expectations, and she will bring in a lot more happiness into your life and will work selflessly for your well-being.
1. Attracts her with looks, manners, and attitude:
Women want their men to be attractive, not just physically but also in their behavior and thoughts. Be chivalrous, have a sense of humor, groom yourself, and have a pleasant temperament. Above all, make sure your relationship is based on honesty.
2. Pays for her necessities and luxuries too:
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Even if your wife is financially independent, she might want you to spend on her. A woman may not want to take the burden of providing the livelihood for the family. She doesn’t mind supporting you, but would like to have the man of the house earn for her family.
3. Has a kind heart:
If you see a distressed puppy out in the cold, don’t just ignore it. Bring it home and nurture, it will help you score points as a husband. Women prefer a partner who is considerate, thoughtful and kind to others. They desire for a man who could console her during tough situations, is loving and attentive to people.
4. Gives her respect:
You surely expect her to respect you. Show her the way by respecting her. Mutual respect forms the foundation of your relationship. Do not take your wife for granted. She may be doing a tiresome job at home, just like you do in the office. Rather than putting her down, try to appreciate her hard work and respect her role as mother, wife, and caretaker of the family. Tell her how much you value her contribution.
5. Is honest with her:
Loyalty is an important part of a relationship. A woman cannot accept infidelity or dishonesty in her relationship. She desires a partner who is truthful so that she can stay secure and relaxed. If you are dishonest, even occasionally, you will lose her trust, and she will begin suspecting you even for the right things you do.
6. Is sensitive to her feelings:
Sensitivity coupled with a bit of spontaneity is something that pleases women. Although the independent modern woman likes to live her life in her way, a bit of pampering can definitely make her come closer to you.
Be watchful7. Is matured:
Women love to stay in a relationship with a man who is responsible and mature. Maturity is often linked to stability, and that’s what women fall for. Wives like their husbands to be mature so that they can handle situations in an organized manner.
8. Keeps up the promises:
If you have promised your wife or children to take them for a weekend movie or outing, stick to the commitment. Fulfill it so they are not disappointed. A man who keeps his promises attracts his wife without much effort.
9. Listens to her:
Pay attention to what she says. Turn to her when she is talking and look at her. It gives her the confidence that you are listening to her. If you are busy on your laptop or mobile phone, it will frustrate her, ruining the atmosphere at home. Allocate at least an hour every day for her, while having breakfast or dinner. Talk about the day’s work, and ask about her day.
10. Believes in her:
Trust her
when she says she can handle a situation. Leave it to her instead of interfering and doing it your way. Be there to guide her, but see how she will face the situation.
Similarly, if she shares her fears or apprehensions, do not brush them aside. Understand her problem and address it.
11. Wears his confidence:
Image: Shutterstock
A man who is confident but not arrogant is a favorite among women. A confident man can overcome any obstacle and solve problems that come his way. A woman likes to be in a relationship with a confident man, who can take care of the family under any situation.
12. Makes her feel safe:
Safety and security. These things matter a lot to a woman. She likes to be with a man who is there to safeguard her. When she goes out with her man, he should have the courage to protect her.
13. Expresses his love for her:
You need not keep saying ‘I love you’ day in and day out like a routine. But you can express your love regularly. Those three words will continue to do their magic even after 25 years of your marriage. It gives your wife the confidence that she has chosen a man who is true to her, and will treat her like a queen.
14. Surprises her from time to time:
A surprise does not always involve an expensive gift. Buy her a rose ‘just like that’ and see her blush red like the rose. After a tiresome day, make her forget all her problems by planning a simple candle-lit dinner at home. Or prepare a delicious supper by the time she returns from work. These are small gestures but make a big impact on your relationship.
15. Gives her space:
A woman’s life is not just about her husband and kids. Just like you, she, too, wants to spend time with her friends or have a calm evening reading her favorite book. She deserves her private time after all the hard work she puts in to keep you and the children happy.
16. Never forgets birthdays or anniversaries:
This has always been important! Do you remember when you first met your wife? When was your first date with her? Or at least do you remember your anniversary and her birthday? Women give weight to such special days. Better remember them to avoid any confrontation with her.
17. Is a 50-50 parent:
Your wife prepares the lunch for the kids, while you help them have a bath and get ready for school. She packs their bags, and you drop them to school. You will be a responsible husband if you are a responsible dad. Share the burden with your wife; do not leave everything for her to complete.
18. Handles her tantrums:
Your woman can throw tantrums just like a kid does. She might have crazy mood swings and you may not know what she is upset about. You buy her a red dress thinking that it is her favorite color, but she might simply snub you for buying red and not pink!
Do not get irritated as you will soon understand that she is taking liberties with you because she sees you as her own, you are the closest person to her, and the one who can take her tantrums.
Face her with calmness. Let her frustrating phase pass on before you explain your side of things. The atmosphere at home is peaceful that way.
19. Gets excited about holidays:
Image: IStock
Don’t wait until your wife asks you to take a holiday. Be excited about going to various places with her. You will get to break the monotony and spend some private time with her when you are on holiday. Also, choose places where your smartphone is not smart enough to keep you in touch with your social media friends. This means you are all hers. The sweet memories will be there with you forever.
20. Never checks her phone or emails:
You won’t like it if your wife reads the messages on your Whatsapp or checks your emails. It is the same with her. Do not breach her privacy out of your curiosity to know her friends. Respect her privacy, and she will respect yours.
21. Loves her family:
Embrace her family as you want her to embrace yours. Appreciate the fact that she had grown up, got educated and learned things when she was with her parents. They will always be important for her, and you need to recognize that.
22. Watches TV with her:
It might seem silly, but try doing and you will love it. Watch TV with your wife when the kids are away or sleeping. It is one romantic way to unwind with her. Laugh together, cry together or get scared together, what matters is your togetherness and not what you watch on the TV.
23. Enjoys her cooking:
Let her know that she is a good cook. Tell her about your favorite dishes and why you like them. She will be glad to cook for you. Appreciate her effort when she tries to cook something new for you. That will encourage her to cook better.
24. Showers her compassion:
In a marriage or any relationship, compassion involves understanding, empathy, and a genuine concern for the other person’s well-being. Patience is the key to compassion. Putting yourself in your partner’s shoes and trying to understand their perspective fosters a deeper connection. Let your wife know that you feel grateful for her efforts by showing appreciation. Hug her, cuddle with her, gently hold her hands, as expressing love through physical affection is a potent means of demonstrating compassion.
25. Communicate With Her:
Men may not speak freely with their women, which frustrates them and builds communication gaps over time. Remember, communication plays a vital role in building a successful relationship. Regular and meaningful conversations can help resolve conflicts and misunderstandings and strengthen the bond. A woman expects her man to communicate openly and share his thoughts, feelings, and concerns.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. How do women determine if a relationship is right for them?
Women may look at certain factors to know if the relationship is right, including communication, trust, emotional connection, and compatibility.
2. How can men better meet the emotional needs of women in relationships?
By listening actively, showing empathy, being supportive and affectionate, having shared values, and respecting boundaries, men can better meet the emotional needs of women.
3. Why is it important to understand what women want in a relationship?
When you understand what your partner wants from you in a relationship, you can form a strong connection with her. You give her the scope to communicate her wishes and desires freely. Moreover, it brings her on an equal footing and gives her the self-confidence to grow. This makes your relationship harmonious.
4. How do women’s wants and needs in a relationship differ from men’s?
Women may prioritize talking about their feelings to connect emotionally with their partners. They also may seek verbal and physical displays of affection and words of validation. Men, on the other hand, tend to be silent and are often not willing to share their feelings and emotions. Though men could also value appreciation, they are less likely to ask for it openly.
5. Are there cultural or societal factors that influence what women want in a relationship?
Factors such as gender roles and cultural values influence a woman’s requirements in a relationship. Moreover, there are certain societal expectations of feminity that influence a woman’s expectations. For instance, a woman is expected to be caring and nurturing towards their children and families. Besides, education and media can play an important role in shaping relationship expectations.
6. How can men meet the expectations of women in a relationship?
Men can meet their women’s expectations by actively listening to concerns, showing empathy towards their issues, and trying to solve them together. Moreover, men can appreciate a woman’s good points and contributions to the family. This will give women a boost.
7. Can a woman’s wants and needs in a relationship change over time?
Yes, a woman newly in a relationship or newly married might have a different set of expectations than that of a woman in a long-term relationship. As a person grows, their expectations and the dynamics of the relationship change. A woman can also have different expectations after certain stages of life such as motherhood and old age.
8. How do women prioritize what they want in a relationship?
Women tend to prioritize what they want depending on different aspects of their relationship. If they feel a deep emotional connection with their partner, they may prioritize his needs ahead of hers. Moreover, women value honesty and reliability. They will prioritize their needs according to their men if they are loyal. Some women often consider shared goals while prioritizing what they want in a relationship. Physical compatibility can also be a guiding force for prioritizing their wants.
9. How important is physical attraction in a relationship for women?
Physical attraction is important in a relationship for women just as much as it is for men. While women’s attraction can rise and drop with the progress of the relationship and after significant events like childbirth, physical attraction can forge an emotional bond between a woman and her partner.
10. Are there any common misconceptions about what women want in a relationship?
Yes, there are several misconceptions such as ‘all women want the same thing,’ ‘women want money,’ ‘women focus only on family,’ and ‘women want men to read their minds.’ However, every woman is different and has different wants and needs. It is necessary to engage in a relationship with open-mindedness.
Each woman is unique and hence may expect different things from their partners. The above is a general outline of what women want in a relationship. To know what your girlfriend or your wife needs, establish a solid emotional bond with them. Try to interpret their actions and determine what they expect from you. Be considerate towards her feelings and maintain effective communication with her to understand her needs. You may fail to interpret her actions a few times. Still, with constant efforts and consistency, you will be able to understand what she seeks in a relationship.
Infographic: What Women Want In A Relationship
Women are not as complicated as men think they are. They are simple people who want love and understanding with a little bit of pampering. So, do you want to know the way to your girlfriend or wife’s heart? Here are the things women may expect from their partners in a relationship. Illustration: Momjunction Design Team
Key Pointers
- Women want love, affection, and admiration from their partners.
- Women want their partners to miss them, give them attention, be understanding, and display forgiveness.
- They seek a friend in their partner with whom they can share their thoughts and speak their minds.
- Women want their partners to encourage them to follow their dreams and to believe in equality in the relationship.
- Women want physical satisfaction and a shoulder to cry on when they are in despair.
Illustration: Things Women Want In A Relationship
Image: Dall·E/MomJunction Design Team
Personal Experience: Sources
MomJunction articles include first-hand experiences to provide you with better insights through real-life narratives. Here are the sources of personal accounts referenced in this article.
i. What Women Really Want In a Relationship;https://zora.medium.com/when-you-know-better-you-can-choose-better-romantic-partners-22d95a6d6666
ii. Should your husband be your best friend?
https://kelsey1224.wordpress.com/2013/11/15/should-your-husband-be-your-best-friend/
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