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Why do we fall in love? This question has intrigued psychologists and scientists alike, revealing that love encompasses a complex interplay of emotions, hormones, and social dynamics. Often, we go to extreme lengths for love and can do anything and everything for the person we love. But what causes these powerful emotions to have such a strong impact? Keep reading as we share some reasons for falling in love and the factors that contribute to it.
15+ Reasons We Fall In Love
Sometimes, we do not know why we fall in love. There may be several reasons, and not just one or two. We have listed a few common ones here.
1. Compatibility
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One of the crucial factors that makes you fall in love is compatibility. Compatibility is not about physical attraction but how you relate to each other and get along well. When you and your partner share the same values and similar interests, and most of your opinions match, it means you and your loved one are compatible, and that brings you closer to each other, creating a deep sense of admiration and devotion for each other.
2. Attraction
Attraction is one of the contributing factors to falling in love, especially in the initial stages. That attraction may not be just physical, but also emotional and sexual that ignite a passionate flame within you. Some people may get attracted to shared interests, resources, status, or intellect too.
However, if the attraction becomes the major reason minus romance or intimacy, the emotion can be considered infatuation. That means you are attracted but do not actually know more about the person. True love and affection are a combination of romantic attraction plus closeness, which usually develops with time.
3. Connection
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When you both are deeply connected, you might fall in love. As humans, we look for a connection or a bond that enriches our lives. When we have a deep connection with someone, the feeling becomes satisfying. And we want that feeling to continue further and become a prolonged experience of life.
Point to consider4. Similarities
You must have heard the expression, ‘opposites attract.’ But one of the common reasons you fall in love with someone is because you both are ‘like-minded’ or share similarities – you both love reading books, you both are travelers, you both are spiritual, or you both love exploring history. It helps establish a close and intimate connection between you two and make you fall for each other.
5. Parent’s resemblance
We have grown up seeing our parents. Some of us use our parental role models as examples of what we should look for in a partner. Finding such similar features or behavioral attributes in someone may pull you towards them and give you relationship satisfaction. It might also help to distinguish positive versus negative traits.
6. Communication
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‘How was your day?’ ‘Let me help you cheer up.’ ‘I love you for who you are.’
Even when two people are different, communication can become the string to connect them. Having good conversations results in exchanging positive energy. When you are able to talk freely to someone, it feels good. Sometimes, you may want someone to listen to you without judging you.
7. Proximity
Sometimes, love might happen due to proximity or shared experiences. You may not have time to think logically about it but realize you got drawn to the person even before considering the pros and cons. Do not be surprised if this happens. However, step back a bit and think if this relationship does good to you in the long run. While attraction and chemistry may initiate the early stages of falling in love, establishing a strong and lasting relationship requires trust and commitment from both individuals.
8. Sense of humor
He makes you have a loud laugh. She is hilarious. A good laugh can fill the air with positivity.
Having a partner with a good sense of humor can help you de-stress, feel good, and make life so much easier. It is one of the positive attributes that people usually look for in their life partners and fall in love with.
9. Genuineness
When you feel the person is genuine with you, they are sincere in their feelings and do not camouflage their emotions to be ‘perfect’ always, that person can be someone you want to be with. This is one of the traits you might want in a romantic relationship
10. Emotional intelligence
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Emotional intelligence is the capability of individuals to recognize their own emotions and those of others, discern between different feelings and label them appropriately. It can help a romantic relationship because it offers a feeling of being understood by one’s partner.
11. Mystery
Sounds weird? Sometimes, we tend to be captivated by enigma. There’s a feeling of familiarity that we sense from someone whom we have just met or known. They make you feel special or highlight your unique qualities that you have never realized. You may be charmed by that puzzle, and you may feel good about it and want it to continue. That’s a feeling you may fancy and fall in love with.
12. A feeling of happiness
You feel elated when they are around. You feel so good that you don’t want that feeling to stop. The theory is supported by neurochemicaliA chemical substance that helps transmit signals in the nervous system evidence. There are several feel-good chemicals, such as serotonin, oxytocin, and dopamineiA chemical that transport messages among nerve cells and also acts as a hormone that induces happiness and motivation , that are released when you are attracted to some special person in your life (1). These chemicals make you feel happy and satisfied.
Did you know?13. Loneliness
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The myriad thoughts you have and the various emotions you go through everyday get an outlet if you have that one worthy person to share with. Say, you heard a melodious song on the way to work or saw a beautiful place during your weekend getaway, you would want to talk about it to someone. You do share with your friends, but one among them pays special attention to what you are saying, understands you better than the others, and lives that happiness with you.
14. Sense of balance and completeness
His patience and empathy move me. Her respect and understanding towards me are impressive. When you find someone who is compatible with the serenity and stability you have brought into your own life, he/she can elevate your positive emotions.
Emotional balance in a partnership can lend itself to the creation of a calm environment filled with positive feelings toward one’s self and one’s romantic interest.
Natasha Varma, a wife, blogger, and business coach, shares her and her husband’s relationship dynamic and the balance they have established. She expresses, “My husband has provided me with that comfort. The comfort that I am fine just the way I am.
“So, while I love my husband, what I have really learned is to love myself. To learn what it means to be whole with him, not because of him. If I am a ship at sea, he is the captain guiding me. I am not built to sink. But he will be the one there through every tide — high or low (i).”
15. Good eye contact
Maintaining strong eye contact not only allows you to connect deeply with your partner but also sparks an immediate attraction between two individuals. Even in situations where two people are meeting for the first time, gazing into each other’s eyes can evoke a profound sense of connection, as if they have known each other for a long period. Staring into each other’s eyes for just two minutes might seem longer than expected. However, during this short time, something magical happens – the idea that eyes reveal the soul becomes apparent. In these moments, a strong and unbreakable connection can develop, and some people might see it as a sign of love.
16. For no reason at all
Sometimes love might just happen. You may not have time to think logically about it but realize you got drawn to the person even before you weighed in the pros and cons, and the reasons. Do not be surprised if this happens. However, step back a bit and think if this relationship does good to you in the long run.
Often, we may not be able to cite specific reasons for falling in love with someone. We fall in love and share a special connection that we want to turn into a memorable lifelong experience. We yearn for that person and want to be with them to add a new meaning to our existence. Whether or not you have a reason for falling in love, enjoy the ecstatic feeling, and create sweet memories for life.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. Do we choose who we fall in love with?
Although love is an epiphany sometimes, one may choose who they want to fall in love with. They may have some ideal traits they seek in a romantic partner and might find themselves attracted to such people.
2. What are the stages of falling in love?
There are three stages of falling in love. The first stage is falling in love itself. You might feel excited to begin a relationship with the concerned person at this stage. During the second stage, you see the natural person beneath and try to understand them. In the third love stage, you tend to team up with your partner as your bond becomes stronger (1).
3. Is falling in love natural?
Falling in love is a natural process due to hormones that enhance the feelings of lust, attraction, and attachment between two individuals. Scientists found that sex hormones testosteroneiA male sex hormone involved in muscle growth and sexual development and estrogeniA hormone responsible for the development and functioning of female reproductive organs , hormones released by the hypothalamusiA region of the brain that produces hormones involved in various body functions such as regulating heart rate, mood, sleep, and hunger such as dopamine, oxytociniA chemical messenger and hormone involved in childbirth, lactation, and social bonding , vasopressiniA hormone and neurotransmitter involved in the electrolyte–water balance, social bonding, and stress response , serotoniniA molecule secreted in the brain that transports messages from nerve cells and helps regulate mood, sleep, and appetite , and norepinephrineiA chemical messenger and hormone involved in the stress response and alertness , make a person fall in love (2).
Love is the strongest emotion that bonds two strangers together. Knowing the reasons why we fall in love could help you be more conscious and practical while making major decisions in your life. Compatibility, attractions, connection, similar interests, and communication are important reasons that make you fall in love. Some people may feel attracted to their partner’s sense of humor, calm demeanor, jovial nature, and emotional intelligence. On the other hand, loneliness can make people fall in love when they get to know someone. You may balance the intense emotions, understand the person, and make life-changing decisions when you feel this person is your soulmate and want to spend your life with them.
Infographic: Why Do Some People Fall For The Wrong Person?
People often recall their toxic relationships and say, “I was in love.” It is, in fact, not love to be blamed but the situations that made you fall in love with the wrong person. So if you too wonder why you end up falling for toxic people, this infographic can help you understand the reasons and avoid them. Illustration: Momjunction Design Team
Key Pointers
- No one can specifically answer why we fall in love.
- Compatibility, compassion, and similarities are a few reasons that contribute to our feelings of love for another person.
- Sometimes, there is no reason for falling in love with someone, and it just happens.
Illustration: Why Do We Fall In Love? 15+ Reasons According To Experts
Image: Stable Diffusion/MomJunction Design Team
Personal Experience: Source
MomJunction articles include first-hand experiences to provide you with better insights through real-life narratives. Here are the sources of personal accounts referenced in this article.
i. What My Husband Taught Me About Love;https://varmanatasha.medium.com/what-my-husband-taught-me-about-love-19e1158a879b
References
- The psychology of love;
https://health.clevelandclinic.org/understanding-love-stages-and-languages/ - Love, actually: The science behind lust, attraction and companionship;
https://sitn.hms.harvard.edu/flash/2017/love-actually-science-behind-lust-attraction-companionship/
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