When you are expecting a baby, it is given that there are going to be certain changes around the relationship you share with your husband. The wife and husband relationship during pregnancy is deeply impacted by the kind of love, care, affection, attention, trust, patience, commitment, support, and empathy that they show to each other. However, as the changes become evident in your body with hormonal imbalances and extra curves, you could sometimes behave unusually, and the mood swings could be drastic at times. Thus, sometimes you may feel connected to your partner, while other times you may feel distant and emotional due to misunderstandings and lack of support and sensitivity. So, to avoid such imbalances and arguments, we have come up with some tips that you can try. Read on to learn more.
Tips To Maintain Healthy Relationship Between Husband And Wife During Pregnancy
There are ways you can nurture your relationship even during pregnancy days when your body and mind are going through various changes. Learning how to be happy during pregnancy is essential, and you two should put in some effort to keep the romance and the spark alive and be there for each other. Here are some tips that can work to your advantage.
1. Modify your routines
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Rather than being hell-bent on what you used to do together and fighting because it is not the same now, try to compromise and be flexible by modifying your routines to suit your needs. For example, instead of going out for activities such as golfing or other sports activities, which you previously loved to do, but now find no joy in, planning a spa session together and opting for a couple of massages can improve your bonding and be romantic at the same time. Choose activities or things that you two enjoy doing together and will keep you two connected. Aloysius Chidebere Ugwu, a husband and writer from Nigeria, shares how he understood that his expecting wife needed all the care and attention during this time. He made adjustments in his routines to prioritize her happiness. Ugwu says, “My wife’s happiness was priority, so on several occasions while returning home I would stop at a nearby store to get her some things she liked. Since Covid-19 had affected the cinemas, I converted my parlor to a mini cinema hall. All this was to ensure that she averts every form of stress and unhappiness (i).”
2. Have some conversation time
For any relationship to work perfectly, you need to communicate with your partner. During pregnancy, the concentration on aspects such as doctor’s appointment, food, supplements, care, and attention can leave you two with no time to sit and talk. Set aside some time for you two to share your thoughts and appreciation for one another, the happenings in your day, some light humor or anything that is of common interest to you both. Discuss things that give happiness to both of you, including discussions about what men should know about pregnant women. This will have a positive effect on your relationship and help in each of your individual growth too.
Quick tip3. Be focused on your partner
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It often happens that the expecting mother ends up paying more attention to the baby growing inside of her than on her husband. Give time to your partner and honor the relationship that you share. In this way, he will not end up feeling insecure about his importance and also not assume that the baby will change your relationship with him.
4. Keep the intimacy alive
Physical relations during pregnancy can be a tricky thing to figure out for most couples. In the first few months, you will be so concerned about morning sickness, exhaustion, and mood swings that making love will be the last thing on your mind. As the months advance, and the bump shows prominently, finding the right positions for coitus will make it hard for you two to carry out intercourse the way you did before. In such situations, you can talk it out with your partner on how things can work out best for you both. Moments such as unexpected vomiting, farting or anything gross should be taken lightly, giving you two some excuses to laugh together and spark up the romance. It is important to approach it with gratitude and understanding for each other’s needs and limitations.
Ways In Which Pregnancy Can Change The Relationship Dynamics
Pregnancy can bring anticipation and stress to both the partners and might bring changes in the relationship you share with your partner. Preparation and awareness of the possibilities of change will keep you grounded for how to tackle the change and work things out accordingly to keep the relationship going without any trouble in your haven. Some pointers that you can look for help are:
- The wife and husband relationship involves teamwork and you should respect and be willing to make sacrifices for each other. You will be more dependent on your partner for things which you previously could manage by yourself earlier. Situations such as doctor’s appointments, a couple of yoga sessions and counseling hours will make it necessary that you feel the need for your partner more during these few months. This might make you feel that your husband is not giving you your due.
- Lack of intercourse and intimacy can take a toll on husband and wife relationship during pregnancy. The infrequent love making sessions can leave a profound effect on the chemistry that you two share.
Common And Expected Couple Fights During Pregnancy
Even if you shared a world of bliss with your partner, pregnancy could bring that chemistry, both physically and emotionally, to a standstill. You may end up fighting everyday for no reason.
The frequent mood swings, the lack of communication and the absence of the understanding for each other that you once shared can result in everyday bickering and fights with your partner, making you doubt the very relationship. Here are a few reasons that might lead to a fight with your husband and some expert tips on how to deal with the situation and salvage your relationship:
1. Naming the child
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The Problem: The decision of naming your baby can be very tricky, and it has the possibility of ending up in a heated debate. Your partner may not agree with your idea of naming the baby after your grandmother or giving him some rare and unique name, as your partner has already taken out the top ten lists of baby names, and you two end up having a huge argument about it.
The Solution: You do not have to push him or make him change his decision immediately. In this way, you both will end up being defensive. Take some time out, sit together later and talk about the issue. You can share your experience and the attachment that you have for the names that you have selected individually and then see how he reacts. The discussion can give you both a deeper understanding of each other’s point of view and help in making a joint decision. That is why relationships are considered as partnerships.
Quick tip2. Lack of attention
The Problem:
During pregnancy, you can become vulnerable and completely insecure about your partner. At times, you may feel he is not giving you the attention you deserve or the care that is required. Minor issues such as missing appointments with your OB by him can create turmoil between you two for no reason at all.
The Solution: Rather than burdening your partner all the time for their lack of involvement, you can make some friends who are also pregnant and discuss all your pregnancy-related issues such as swollen feet, morning sickness, etc., with them. You can go with them for your medical appointments and routine checkups rather than piling everything on your partner. It becomes easy for both of you to share some good time together if there is no task or responsibility that you two have to accomplish every two days.
3. Physical intimacy
The Problem:
In his mind, all he can think is how gorgeous you have turned with your newly acquired curves and the pregnancy glow. It is quite obvious he will try to be cozier and try to comfort you at times. But during this period of gestation, all you can think of is the leaking of your pee or some other pregnancy related problem and your partner might not be sympathetic towards your condition. The result is that you end up having a huge fight again.
The Solution: Having some sense of humor about the situation can work to your advantage at this time. Laughing about the silly or gross things, joking about the issues can lighten the situation up and you two can share some sweet and cozy moments together. Communication is the key to resolving the issue. Talk to your partner about your insecurities and fears to get the reassurance and encouragement you need.
4. Money matters
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The Problem: The prospect of a baby increases the expenses to a great extent. The sudden change in the expenditure can shock you both, complicating decision-making regarding finances and monetary issues. These uncertainties and lack of proper financial management can lead to stress and disagreements among couples when they are expecting a baby.
The Solution: You two can sit down together to plan a budget and try in all ways to stick to it even when faced with temptations. Do not wait for the baby to arrive to sort out the financial issues, do it right away. Figure out all the possible expenses and develop a budget that is practical, can be followed and not too stringent. Keep some extra cash ready for emergencies, unforeseen, or unaccounted for necessary expenditures.
5. Interference from family
The Problem:
You may have a great rapport with your in-laws and the extended family after marriage but pregnancy could change the relationship. It could be the same for your husband if your parents are interfering too much in your affairs.
The Solution: It is essential to understand that you and your partner are going to be parents, so the decisions need to be made/decided by you two. Support from your families is necessary and you can always welcome their advice, as long as they are not hurting your psyche or the relationship with your husband. There is no reason for you to be rude to them. Talk to your partner if you think the interference has gone too far to tolerate.
6. Communication challenges
The problem:
Communication issues during pregnancy can stem from differing expectations about parenthood roles, emotional challenges like mood swings, and stress about the future. These factors may create tension and misunderstandings between partners, highlighting the importance of sharing thoughts and balancing each other.
The solution: During pregnancy, open communication is important. Don’t hesitate to share your thoughts, hopes, and fears with your partner; it may bring you closer. You can try discussing the challenges of parenthood, such as work and childcare issues, and aligning your expectations. Discuss the parenting roles and responsibilities each person is expected to take—having a clear idea of how to share your duties can avoid misunderstandings and conflict. Consider writing for each other, it may help you compare your expectations and understand each other better. These efforts may not only strengthen your understanding but also strengthen your bond as you prepare for the journey of parenthood (1).
Fighting And Arguing With Your Spouse Harms The Baby
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Happiness is an important part of pregnancy, albeit arguments with your partner during pregnancy are quite common among couples. The change in the hormone levels and the added pressures of pregnancy can make you a bit edgy and result in silly fights and confrontations. But if the fights are too severe and frequent, then it may indicate an underlying problem of depression or anxiety disorder in the mother. The added stress caused by the conflicts can put both the mother and the baby under a lot of stress and potential harm.
Depression or anxiety caused by stress for extended periods of time can affect the gestation period and may lead to pre-term labor in several cases. The sudden mood swings and constant irritation can also hamper the absorption of nutrients in the body of the mother and the baby leading to further complications and poor health of the baby.
Excessive stress levels can also result in high blood pressure, hormonal imbalance in the body and miscarriage. Elevated levels of anxiety can lead to events of postpartum depression which is detrimental to the health of the mother and the well-being of the child at the same time.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. Do men’s hormones change when the wife is pregnant?
Both men and women undergo hormonal changes as they prepare to become parents, which are thought to encourage parental care. According to a study, prenatal testosterone and estradiol decreases were present in expectant dads, and greater declines in both hormones were associated with greater postpartum contributions to home and childcare duties. In addition, women reported receiving more assistance and aid around the house from partners with larger testosterone declines (2).
2. How can I stay romantic with my husband during pregnancy?
Pamper your lover with loving touches or kisses, flirtatious compliments, or an impromptu jump into bed as frequently as you can for absolutely no reason. Feel free to flirt. Just be sure to keep pregnancy sex enjoyable and safe.
3. What benefits does a supportive marriage provide to a pregnant woman?
Being in a supportive marriage can make a pregnant woman feel better and less stressed. When the man understands the role of a husband during her pregnancy and creates a stable and caring home, it helps her stay healthy and have a healthy baby.
4. How can communication between a husband and wife improve during pregnancy?
When a woman is pregnant, her husband can talk and listen to her more. They can share their feelings, worries, and plans about the baby, which helps them understand each other better and feel closer.
5. How does a supportive marriage impact the baby’s health?
A husband and wife supporting each other can help the baby stay healthier. They create a safe and loving home, make the mom less stressed, encourage healthy habits, and make everyone feel happier, which is good for the baby’s growth and well-being.
6. What lifestyle changes should the husband make to support his pregnant wife?
To help his pregnant wife, the husband can do a few things differently. He can go with her to doctor visits, eat healthier and exercise, and help with chores at home to ensure she doesn’t get tired and stays healthy during pregnancy. As he is also preparing for fatherhood, he can read books or articles related to pregnancy and childbirth to learn more about the bodily and emotional changes he and his wife are going through.
7. What are the common fears couples have about pregnancy and childbirth?
Couples often worry about the baby’s health, how much pain the mom will feel when giving birth, things that could go wrong, and how they will handle being parents and all the changes that come with it.
8. When should couples seek professional help for conflicts during pregnancy?
If you constantly disagree with each other during pregnancy and find it difficult to communicate your needs and expectations, you should consider professional counseling. A therapist with expertise in marital and family issues can guide you through the challenges and offer tips to resolve your issues.
The wife and husband relationship during pregnancy may get affected due to the various things that happen all at once. This phase can be overwhelming for both and may cause stress in the relationship. However, you must not forget that this, too, shall pass. Await a happy time ahead with the little one you are expecting and keep supporting each other, and soon you will understand that everything is worth a shot.
Infographic: Nurturing Your Relationship Throughout The Pregnancy
While the news of your baby’s impending arrival fills you with delight and excitement, anxiety, pains, and discomfort of your pregnancy might hamper your relationship with your partner. We bring an infographic below with exciting ways to keep your bond vibrant and healthy even through roller coaster times. Illustration: Momjunction Design Team
Key Pointers
- Adapt your routines to fit your pregnancy needs and pick activities that you both enjoy to stay connected.
- Set aside time to share thoughts, humor, and interests with your partner.
- Honor your relationship by giving your partner attention and avoiding insecurity.
- Communicate with your partner about how to manage pregnancy challenges and take moments to laugh and bond.
- Be aware of common issues such as mood swings, communication barriers, and dependence on your partner to avoid fights.
Learn how to support your partner during pregnancy! Discover tips on how to be there for them emotionally and physically.
Personal Experience: Source
MomJunction articles include first-hand experiences to provide you with better insights through real-life narratives. Here are the sources of personal accounts referenced in this article.
i. “I decided to be pregnant with my wife” — Men as nurturers for healthy pregnancy and delivery;https://nigeriahealthwatch.medium.com/i-decided-to-be-pregnant-with-my-wife-men-as-nurturers-for-healthy-pregnancy-and-delivery-2153ed7d1a30
References
- Parents-to-be-must communicate.
https://www.mobapbaby.org/Pregnancy-Guide/Ensuring-a-Healthy-Pregnancy/Parents-to-Be-Must-Communicate - Robin S. Edelstein; (2017); Prospective and Dyadic Associations between Expectant Parents’ Prenatal Hormone Changes and Postpartum Parenting Outcomes
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5313241/#:~:text=Expectant%20fathers%20showed%20prenatal%20declinesmore%20help%20with%20household%20tasks.
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