Wife & Husband Relationship In Pregnancy: Tips To Maintain It

When you are expecting a baby, it is given that there are going to be certain changes around the relationship you share with your husband. The wife and husband relationship during pregnancy is deeply impacted by the kind of love, care, affection, attention, trust, patience, commitment, support, and empathy that they show to each other. However, as the changes become evident in your body with hormonal imbalances and extra curves, you could sometimes behave unusually, and the mood swings could be drastic at times. Thus, sometimes you may feel connected to your partner, while other times you may feel distant and emotional due to misunderstandings and lack of support and sensitivity. So, to avoid such imbalances and arguments, we have come up with some tips that you can try. Read on to learn more.

How Pregnancy Can Change Relationship Dynamics

Pregnancy brings physical, emotional, and mental changes that can shift relationship dynamics. It calls for increased communication, patience, and understanding. Here’s how pregnancy can affect your connection with your spouse (1) (2).

1. Increased dependency: As pregnancy progresses, you may find yourself depending more on your partner for emotional and physical support. This shift can sometimes lead to frustration if expectations aren’t met.
2. Changes in intimacy: Physical and hormonal changes during pregnancy can affect intimacy, causing both partners to feel disconnected. 
3. Emotional ups and downs: Hormonal fluctuations can result in mood swings, creating emotional highs and lows. 
4. Role adjustments: Pregnancy can lead to new responsibilities for both partners, causing a shift in traditional roles. Collaborating and discussing these changes is essential to ensure both partners feel supported.
5. Focus on the future: With the upcoming arrival of a baby, priorities may shift, and both partners may feel the pressure to prepare for parenthood.

Tips To Maintain A Healthy Relationship During Pregnancy

There are ways you can nurture your relationship even during pregnancy days when your body and mind are going through various changes. Learning how to be happy during pregnancy is essential, and you two should put in some effort to keep the romance and the spark alive and be there for each other. Here are some tips that can work to your advantage.

1. Modify your routines

Rather than being hell-bent on what you used to do together and fighting because it is not the same now, try to compromise and be flexible by modifying your routines to suit your needs. For example, instead of going out for activities such as golfing or other sports activities, which you previously loved to do, but now find no joy in, planning a spa session together and opting for a couple of massages can improve your bonding and be romantic at the same time. Choose activities or things that you two enjoy doing together and will keep you two connected. Aloysius Chidebere Ugwu, a husband and writer from Nigeria, shares how he understood that his expecting wife needed all the care and attention during this time. He made adjustments in his routines to prioritize her happiness. Ugwu says, “My wife’s happiness was priority, so on several occasions while returning home I would stop at a nearby store to get her some things she liked. Since Covid-19 had affected the cinemas, I converted my parlor to a mini cinema hall. All this was to ensure that she averts every form of stress and unhappiness (i).”

2. Have some conversation time

For any relationship to work perfectly, you need to communicate with your partner. During pregnancy, the concentration on aspects such as doctor’s appointment, food, supplements, care, and attention can leave you two with no time to sit and talk. Set aside some time for you two to share your thoughts and appreciation for one another, the happenings in your day, some light humor or anything that is of common interest to you both. Discuss things that give happiness to both of you, including discussions about what men should know about pregnant women. This will have a positive effect on your relationship and help in each of your individual growth too. Open and honest communication strengthens your relationship during pregnancy and beyond, helping you understand each other, share expectations, and prevent conflicts (3).

Quick tip

Consider taking pregnancy and birthing classes together to learn more about what to anticipate and how to support one another during your pregnancy journey.

3. Be focused on your partner

It often happens that the expecting mother ends up paying more attention to the baby growing inside of her than on her husband. Give time to your partner and honor the relationship that you share. In this way, he will not end up feeling insecure about his importance and also not assume that the baby will change your relationship with him.

4. Keep the intimacy alive

Physical relations during pregnancy can be a tricky thing to figure out for most couples. In the first few months, you will be so concerned about morning sickness, exhaustion,sore breasts, and mood swings that making love will be the last thing on your mind (2). As the months advance, and the bump shows prominently, finding the right positions for coitus will make it hard for you two to carry out intercourse the way you did before. In such situations, you can talk it out with your partner on how things can work out best for you both. Moments such as unexpected vomiting, farting or anything gross should be taken lightly, giving you two some excuses to laugh together and spark up the romance. It is important to approach it with gratitude and understanding for each other’s needs and limitations.

5. Talk about the family traditions and rituals

Pregnancy is a great time to consider your childhood and the values and traditions you want to share with your baby. Talk about the special moments you enjoyed growing up, like holiday celebrations, bedtime routines, or family meals. Decide on meaningful traditions, such as having Sunday brunch together, celebrating birthdays, or reading bedtime stories every night. If you and your partner have different cultural or religious backgrounds, find ways to blend both traditions to create a warm and inclusive environment for your child. Having these conversations now helps build a loving and stable family life filled with happy memories (4).

6. Practice listening

Good listening is more than just hearing words. It means being present and genuinely paying attention. It’s about focusing on your partner, encouraging them to share their thoughts and feelings, and ensuring they feel heard. A big part of good listening is letting your partner finish talking before you respond instead of interrupting or thinking about your reply while they are still speaking. It also helps to repeat or summarize your understanding to avoid confusion and ensure you’re on the same page. Taking a moment before you speak and thinking about what was said creates a space for open and honest communication (3) (4).

7. Seek professional help

If you’re struggling with relationship issues, seeking counseling or therapy can help. A trained professional can provide guidance, tools, and strategies to help you navigate these challenges effectively. Sometimes, minor misunderstandings or unresolved feelings can build up over time, leading to more significant conflicts. Professional guidance allows you to address concerns early and learn healthy communication methods (3).

Common And Expected Couple Fights During Pregnancy

Even if you shared a world of bliss with your partner, pregnancy could bring that chemistry, both physically and emotionally, to a standstill. You may end up fighting everyday for no reason.

The frequent mood swings, the lack of communication and the absence of the understanding for each other that you once shared can result in everyday bickering and fights with your partner, making you doubt the very relationship. Here are a few reasons that might lead to a fight with your husband and some expert tips on how to deal with the situation and salvage your relationship:

1. Naming the child

The Problem: The decision of naming your baby can be very tricky, and it has the possibility of ending up in a heated debate. Your partner may not agree with your idea of naming the baby after your grandmother or giving him some rare and unique name, as your partner has already taken out the top ten lists of baby names, and you two end up having a huge argument about it.

The Solution: You do not have to push him or make him change his decision immediately. In this way, you both will end up being defensive. Take some time out, sit together later and talk about the issue. You can share your experience and the attachment that you have for the names that you have selected individually and then see how he reacts. The discussion can give you both a deeper understanding of each other’s point of view and help in making a joint decision. That is why relationships are considered as partnerships.

Quick tip

If you cannot reach a middle ground with the child’s name, you may leave it to your parents, that is, the to-be child’s grandparents, so there may be a neutral choice.

2. Lack of attention

The Problem: During pregnancy, you can become vulnerable and completely insecure about your partner. At times, you may feel he is not giving you the attention you deserve or the care that is required. Minor issues such as missing appointments with your OB by him can create turmoil between you two for no reason at all.

The Solution: Rather than burdening your partner all the time for their lack of involvement, you can make some friends who are also pregnant and discuss all your pregnancy-related issues such as swollen feet, morning sickness, etc., with them. You can go with them for your medical appointments and routine checkups rather than piling everything on your partner. It becomes easy for both of you to share some good time together if there is no task or responsibility that you two have to accomplish every two days.

3. Physical intimacy

The Problem: In his mind, all he can think is how gorgeous you have turned with your newly acquired curves and the pregnancy glow. It is quite obvious he will try to be cozier and try to comfort you at times. But during this period of gestation, all you can think of is the leaking of your pee or some other pregnancy related problem and your partner might not be sympathetic towards your condition. The result is that you end up having a huge fight again.

The Solution: Having some sense of humor about the situation can work to your advantage at this time. Laughing about the silly or gross things, joking about the issues can lighten the situation up and you two can share some sweet and cozy moments together. Communication is the key to resolving the issue. Talk to your partner about your insecurities and fears to get the reassurance and encouragement you need.

4. Money matters

The Problem: The prospect of a baby increases the expenses to a great extent. The sudden change in the expenditure can shock you both, complicating decision-making regarding finances and monetary issues. These uncertainties and lack of proper financial management can lead to stress and disagreements among couples when they are expecting a baby.

The Solution: You two can sit down together to plan a budget and try in all ways to stick to it even when faced with temptations. Do not wait for the baby to arrive to sort out the financial issues, do it right away. Figure out all the possible expenses and develop a budget that is practical, can be followed and not too stringent. Keep some extra cash ready for emergencies, unforeseen, or unaccounted for necessary expenditures.

5. Interference from family

The problem: You may have a great rapport with your in-laws and the extended family after marriage but pregnancy could change the relationship. It could be the same for your husband if your parents are interfering too much in your affairs.

The Solution: It is essential to understand that you and your partner are going to be parents, so the decisions need to be made/decided by you two. Support from your families is necessary and you can always welcome their advice, as long as they are not hurting your psyche or the relationship with your husband. There is no reason for you to be rude to them. Talk to your partner if you think the interference has gone too far to tolerate.

6. Communication challenges

The problem: Communication issues during pregnancy can stem from differing expectations about parenthood roles, emotional challenges like mood swings, and stress about the future. These factors may create tension and misunderstandings between partners, highlighting the importance of sharing thoughts and balancing each other.

The solution: During pregnancy, open communication is important. Don’t hesitate to share your thoughts, hopes, and fears with your partner; it may bring you closer (1). You can try discussing the challenges of parenthood, such as work and childcare issues, and aligning your expectations. Discuss the parenting roles and responsibilities each person is expected to take—having a clear idea of how to share your duties can avoid misunderstandings and conflict. Consider writing for each other, it may help you compare your expectations and understand each other better. These efforts may not only strengthen your understanding but also strengthen your bond as you prepare for the journey of parenthood (5).

Why It’s Important To Stay Strong Together During Pregnancy

Pregnancy is a transformative journey that needs support from both partners. Staying strong together makes the experience smoother and prepares you for parenthood. Here’s why it’s important to stay strong in your relationship during pregnancy (1) (6).

1. Emotional support: Pregnancy often comes with emotional highs and lows, and a strong relationship offers the emotional support necessary to handle these shifts.
2. Reduced stress: A strong partnership can alleviate pregnancy-related stress, helping both partners feel more secure and less anxious.
3. Improved communication: A strong bond fosters open and honest communication, allowing partners to express their feelings, concerns, and expectations freely.
4. Effective teamwork: Pregnancy involves many tasks, from medical check-ups to baby preparations, and a strong relationship enables both partners to work together towards common objectives.
5. Better health: Emotional connection between partners improves physical and mental health during pregnancy, benefiting both individuals.
6. Preparation for parenthood: A strong relationship helps both partners feel ready to handle the challenges of parenthood and adjust to life after the baby comes.

Infographic: Nurturing Your Relationship Throughout The Pregnancy

While the news of your baby’s impending arrival fills you with delight and excitement, anxiety, pains, and discomfort of your pregnancy might hamper your relationship with your partner. We bring an infographic below with exciting ways to keep your bond vibrant and healthy even through roller coaster times.

Illustration: Momjunction Design Team

Learn how to support your partner during pregnancy! Discover tips on how to be there for them emotionally and physically.

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Dr. Domonique RiceIMFT-S, AAMFT

Dr. Domonique Rice began her career in the banking industry but eventually moved to counseling and therapy. She did her Masters in Marital, Couples, and Family Therapy and a doctorate in Advanced Studies in Human Services.

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sanjana laguduBPharm, MBA

Sanjana did her graduation in Pharmacy from Andhra University and post graduation in management from GITAM Institute of Management. It was during her first job, she recognized her skills in writing and began working as a freelance writer.

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Shikha ThakurMBA

Shikha is a writer-turned-editor at MomJunction, with over seven years of experience in the field of content. Having done a certification in Relationship Coaching, her core interest lies in writing articles that guide couples through their courtship to marriage and parenthood.

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Ratika PaiM.Com

Ratika holds a master's degree in commerce and a post-graduate diploma in communication and journalism from Mumbai University. She has 6 years of experience writing in various fields, such as finance, education, and lifestyle.

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