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I speak for my fellow LGBTQ+ mothers — being gay is quite the challenge in itself, but it is nothing compared to being a gay mom! Of course, we love it and wouldn’t want to have it any other way, but we’re not going to lie; it can be one hell of a ride. From strange stares to awkward encounters, we’ve seen it all. So we’d like to throw some light on a few things that you straight moms really should be aware of! This can help you, and it can help us. Hopefully, by the end of this read, we’d have directed you to better understand us LGBTQ+ and proud mothers. So let’s get started!
1. Don’t Be Afraid Of Asking Us Questions
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Out of fear of offending us, people often don’t ask enough questions to get to know about the LGBTQ+ community. This is not constructive in any way as it robs the people of the chance to get to know facts from a real person.
If you don’t understand certain things about our community and us, do not be afraid to ask. Be honest about your lack of understanding and knowledge so that we can help you out. Don’t jump to conclusions and go by the biased opinions of others who are equally clueless as you are. We’re more than willing to tell you what you want to know if you’re genuinely interested and trying to educate yourself. We appreciate the fact that you’re trying to learn!
2. This Is Who We Are — Accept It
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Sadly, even to this day, the LGBTQ+ community has to assert its right to exist on a daily basis. People just don’t realize the gravity of the situation where a person has to justify themselves. It can be mentally taxing and affect one’s mental wellbeing and confidence in the long term.
Just like how you’d like to be accepted for who you are, we too would like to be accepted for who we are. So avoid saying things such as “maybe it’s just a phase”, or “wait until you meet the right man” — no! Just stop! This isn’t just a “phase”, and no, we aren’t going to change the way we are.
3. We Don’t Have An Agenda
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Contrary to popular belief, we aren’t trying to convert you and your kids. Our agenda is the same as yours — to live this life to the fullest, with lots of love and laughter. We aren’t looking to take over the world and make slaves out of straight people.
4. Yes, We’ll Be Okay If Our Kids Are Straight
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You know how most straight moms lose their minds when their kids come out as gay? You won’t find much of that among most gay moms. I say “most” because there may be exceptions. I speak for the majority of us. We know that being gay or straight is not a choice; it is simply who you are. So, if our kids tell us that they identify as cisgender, we won’t be disappointed. We love our children just as you love yours.
5. Orientation And Gender Are Diverse
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Our orientation or preference refers to what we are attracted to. It is diverse, personal, and important. Gender, on the other hand, is what we identify as. For this too, there is a diverse spectrum, and we can fall anywhere on the range. Makes sense now why the rainbow flag is a powerful symbol of the LGBTQ+ community, right?
6. It’s Okay If Your Child Asks Us Questions
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From one mom to another — we get how curious our little munchkins can get. But we love them nevertheless. If your child asks me questions such as “Where is your husband?”, don’t reprimand them. The more awkward you make it, the more they’re going to think that being gay is “bad”. Let them be open about their queries.
7. Celebrate Our Milestones Too
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That baby shower you had? Yeah, we’d like that too. And our wedding anniversary? Wish us on this day! We have milestones just like you do, and we’d like to celebrate them, just as you would.
8. We’re Not Immoral
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The LGBTQ+ is always under scrutiny for what they wear and how they conduct themselves. It’s not uncommon for tags like “immoral” or “unfaithful” to be readily slapped on them. The fact that these are individual traits and a whole community cannot be defined like that is almost always sidelined.
It’s so easy to judge us and assume that we’re okay with anything and everything, isn’t it? But you’re mistaken. LGBTQ+ mothers have their morals in place, just like you do. Being a part of the LGBTQ+ community does not make us immoral, and our parenting beliefs are not immoral either.
9. We’re Mothers Too
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We are mothers too. Maybe we had kids the unconventional way, but we love them unconditionally, just like you love yours. We will go above and beyond to take care of and protect our children, just as you would. We are fully capable of motherhood. Being gay does not change that.
10. We’re As Human As You Are
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Being LGBTQ+ comes second to the fact that we are humans. We are made of flesh, blood, and emotions too. We have our losses, wins, and stories just like everyone else. And we feel love, pain, joy, and tragedy, just like you.
Our community continues to be at the receiving end of discrimination and attacks, both physical and emotional. You can make a huge difference to turn things around, and the first step to that is by trying to understand us. The LGBTQ+ community is entitled to the same rights as the rest of the world. Our rights are human rights too. Do you agree? Let us know in the comments below!
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