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You might think you are well versed with some common words in the English language. But when you become a parent, certain words take a whole new meaning. If you’re interested to know what these words are and how familiar you are with the parental vocabulary, you have come to the right place. Continue reading our post as we list down 13 words that take on a different meaning after kids.
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1. Tired
Before kids: Feeling sleepy.
Could happen to anyone after a long day at work or even a night of partying or shopping. You might also hear people say how tired they are after standing in a queue for one hour at the bank.
After kids: Complete EXHAUSTION!
When a parent says they are exhausted, it refers to a condition caused by severe lack of sleep and no time to recover. Their eyes are strained due to sleep deprivation, their mind barely works, and they are in a zombie mode. Even in this mode, they are programmed to perform 3 functions: feeding the baby, changing their diaper, and giving them constant attention.
2. Quickly
Before kids: Doing things fast, with efficiency, and in a short span of time.
After kids: Making sure you leave the house with everyone dressed and ready and with none of your kids throwing a tantrum or having the urge to use the potty at the last minute. Or leaving a place within 2 hours.
3. Nap
Before kids: Sleeping for a brief time, typically during the daytime, to relax and rejuvenate.
After kids: Something that you never get to take because your baby or toddler refuses to take a nap. Instead of a couch or bed, you now doze off while in the shower, standing in the kitchen, or midway through nursing.
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4. Eating Out
Before kids: Going to a restaurant or cafe to have a scrumptious meal to relax, bond, and have fun.
You might have a glass of wine or two and talk about family and friends, catch up on the latest gossip, and/or talk about world affairs.
After kids: Going to a restaurant in the hopes of having a meal without having to leave the restaurant midway because a) your kid starts crying and everybody starts giving you side-eyes silently judging your parenting skills b) you are asked to leave by the staff because 3 people have already complained about the fountain of ranch dressing and flying croutons happening at your table.
5. All-nighter
Before kids: Spending the whole night wide awake partying and having fun.
When a person says they pulled an all-nighter, it usually means they spend the entire nighttime drinking, dancing, and simply having fun. People also pull an all-nighter when they binge-watch their favorite series and then regret not getting any sleep the next morning because they were too busy having fun.
After kids: When you spend the whole night up with your baby or toddler because they refuse to go back to sleep.
In some cases, your baby wakes up in the middle of the night after you’ve spent 30 minutes trying to put them to sleep. You try every trick in the book and frantically run around the house, playing soothing music, singing lullabies, making funny faces, feeding, burping, changing their nappies, and getting frustrated at yourself. This goes on the entire night.
6. Intercourse
Before kids: Hot, sweaty, and passionate stuff that happens every so often everywhere; and involves tons of making out.
After kids: Something that has been marked on the calendar for a while now that you don’t have the time to get to. And even when you do, it will most likely be done quietly in your bedroom, all the while keeping an eye on the baby monitor and making sure you don’t make any noise and wake up the tiny members of your family. Because let’s face it, the screams and cries of your kids is a mood kill, and there’s no coming back from it.
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7. Relaxing
Before kids: Doing absolutely nothing. Or chilling with a book or some music. Watching a movie, taking a hot relaxing shower, or treating yourself to a spa day. Basically chillin’.
After kids: This word does not exist.
8. Acceptable
Before kids: Suitable; able to be agreed on.
After kids: Begging or bribing your child. This could be due to several reasons — to put on their stupid shoes on the right feet before leaving the house or to avoid a situation of a temper tantrum thrown by your toddler when you’re at a public place.
9. Blowout
Before kids: A hair treatment of luxurious blow-drying done at the salon.
After kids: A burst of anger after repeatedly asking your toddler to put on his pants. Or the huge mess your little one makes in their diaper, waiting to be cleaned by you.
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10. Weekend
Before kids: Sleeping in till 11:00 a.m. and then lazing around the whole day. Or going for a brunch with your friends.
After kids: Waking up at the break of dawn as your kids are now jumping up and down your bed, nudging and pulling until you get up. The rest of the day goes by preparing breakfast, lunch, and dinner and taking them out for ice-cream or to a zoo.
11. Bath Time
Before kids: A relaxing ritual with some scented candles, a glass of wine, and maybe a book.
After kids: Swiftly slipping out of your clothes and taking a quick shower with just enough time to clean yourself of all the filth before your toddler starts banging on your door.
12. Gross
Before kids: Something unpleasant to look at or foul-smelling.
After kids: Having dealt with spit-ups, poop, and all kinds of body fluids, you have now gained a significant tolerance for anything that others might consider gross.
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13. Coffee
Before kids: A brewed drink enjoyed by many to get a head start on their day and feel energized.
After kids: Your lifeline that helps you power through the day without collapsing on the floor after several sleepless nights.
Parenthood comes with tons of changes. Nothing is the same anymore…including your definition of words.
How did becoming a parent change your life? Would you like to add any more words to our list? Share your thoughts with us in the comments section below.
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